Some Hearts, But Not Mine
by M. Michelon
Summary: Carrie Underwood had it right. Some hearts get all the right breaks. Some hearts have the stars on their sides. Some hearts just have it so easy. Some hearts get lucky sometimes. But not mine. My heart had been ripped out and trampled on, and then sent through a shredder. So yeah, some hearts were lucky. But not mine; never mine.
1. Preface

**Author's Note: This is a Leah imprint story that coincides with ****_The Consequences_**** and will eventually mention ****_Hear No Evil_****, a Paul imprint story. But don't worry; everything can be read independent of each other (although I would recommend reading the other ones). For those who like Leah's character and her love triangle with Sam, let me just say now that I always felt like Leah deserved a little better than she got. I understand the Sam/Emily triangle, but she deserved to be happy again. So that's where this is coming from. Enjoy.**

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**Preface:_ Nathan's Point of View_**

_Dear Nathan,_

_ I just want you to remember that I love you more than I can express. We've spent so many years together. You know me better than anyone. I will always be thankful for the things that you've done for me. But I can't do this anymore, Nate._

_ When you enlisted, I thought that I could wait. I thought that 36 months was nothing. I was upset that you left, Nate, but the letters helped… for a little while. But soon it wasn't doing anything. Scott and I were there for one another, to remember you and laugh at all the things that we remembered doing with you. The memories that the three of us have together will always be something special that I will cherish. _

_ Anyways, Scott and I would get together and drink beers I your truck whenever we got lonely and it just turned into something else. I'm sorry, Nate. I never meant for it to happen this way. It wouldn't be fair for me to string you along. _

_ Scott and I are planning a wedding next summer. It would mean a lot to both of us if you could come, if you could support us in this. I just don't want to hurt you anymore, Nate. Please don't forget that we love you, that we'll be waiting for you when you get home next month. It's been too long since we've seen each other, Nate._

_All my Love,_

_Allie_

The patterned sound of my fists against the bag was loud and obnoxious, echoing in the silence of the now closed gym. I could recite that fucking letter word for word until my ears bled. It was how I'd ended up in the middle of no where Washington, where the weather was cold and wet. I guess it was a little better than the arctic tundra of Montana. And the cold didn't _really_ bother me. No, I had plenty of other things that bothered me.

"You gonna come on home or beat the bag until your knuckles bleed?" The second option sounded preferable. _All my Love, Allie_. All my love! Hey, heads up, I'm leaving you even though you've spent twenty-three years of your life hanging around, helping me, saving me, protecting me, following me. But don't worry, I still love you. A lot of fucking good that does me!

"I'll lock up," I said breathlessly.

Uncle Frank didn't say anything else, just tossed the keys on the table that sat outside the ring, shaking his head at me. The gym phone rang behind me, the sounds resonating against the ropes and bags. I pulled my sweaty gloves off, dusting my hands off on my shorts and jogging to the rope. The beep screamed out in the silence. _"Nate, it's Allie. Scott said you might go to Frank's if you weren't at your aunt's. Could you just call or something? Give us a chance to explain, Nate? The letter wasn't meant to be a dear John, I swear. Just come home so that Scott and I can explain. You're still our best friend, Nate. I love you,"_ Allie's voice came, sweet and sad through the speakers in the office.

How can she even say that it wasn't a dear John? All the guys in my unit agreed that's exactly what it was. Allie just hadn't been strong enough to tell me herself. I had followed her off the Reservation to school and she left me the second that things go hard. What did she expect? The Marine Corps wasn't exactly Georgia peaches.

I jumped up, my legs in a V formation in front or me and began climbing to rope. That was, of course, until my side ached and I dropped ten feet, landing painfully on my back. I struggled to catch my breath, wishing that I had never gone in the first place. I was panting, the air avoiding my lungs with determination. _"You're lucky you made it out alive, Private Crowe,"_ the base doctor'd said. Lucky my ass. I'd rather be dead than come home to this shit.

After what could've been a second or an hour, I pushed myself upright, I grabbed the keys from the table, pulling the cage-like doors over the main entrance, propping up the smaller ones in the windows. It always made me want to laugh. Uncle Frank was so protective of this place, more than he ever was on his place back home. I guess this was home now. Because it would take an angel, a demon, the devil, and God himself working together to get me back to Montana.

I trudged into Uncle Frank's office. The old vet may be a little crazy, I sure as hell wondered how Aunt Jeanie put up with him, but the two of them had taken me in when I called them from the Washington D.C. without question. _That _was what family did for each other. I pulled the cot down from the wall and curled up with just the thin blanket on me.

* * *

I woke up in a cold sweat, like I usually did, but I couldn't tell anyone what I dreamed about. I didn't even know what I had dreamt of. Only that Aunt Jeanie said she could hear me when I slept at their house, but she swore Uncle Frank had been the same way when he came back. I splashed the cold water on my face, but it didn't help anything. I pulled open the empty file cabinet that I was keeping clothing in and changed quickly, hoping a run would clear my head.

I followed the well worn path that ran alongside the road, circling the gym in a large oval. I'd have to thank that Swan kid for the advice. The entire track was slick with dew and rain, forcing my tennis shoes to slide over mud and leaves alike. It was nice out, the fog still hanging in the air. It was way more humid here than it ever was back on the Crow reservation. I was sawing for air, completely out of shape by the time that I made it back to the gym.

Uncle Frank had arrived in the half hour that I was gone, tossing the doors open as he held the newspaper in front of his eyes. "Anything good?" I asked breathlessly.

"Killing spree in Seattle, but that's not really good, is it?" he asked with a laugh. I just shook my head. "Jeanie brought you some breakfast," he added, nodding towards the office turned home. "And uh, you should start to learn the desk. Maybe we could pay you a little." I just nodded and walked away.

"Nate! Did you have a nice run?" Jeanie asked, pulling the door closed behind her. I frowned, but smiled right after. Everything that the Corps had stripped Uncle Frank of, Aunt Jeanie made up for tenfold. She was so warm and bubbly and happy. I wondered sometimes how Frank kept up with her.

"I did, thanks Aunt Jeanie," I said, moving towards the door. Jeanie stepped in front of it, her five-foot-two frame blocking me from my room. "Is there something wrong?"

"Nathan, sweetie, have you thought any about Montana and the people up there?" I frowned, the expression staying this time and stared at her. I _thought_ about them, but I didn't want to go back. I cared about them, but I despised them to their very cores. Either way, I just nodded. "Perhaps going home for a visit would do you some good?" she suggested. "You haven't seen your family in three years."

I missed everyone, but I couldn't get back there. Maybe I could pay for a flight for Mom to come and spend a week. Of course, that would require me having a place to live and money to fly her with. But I could do it. I did miss my mother. But not the rest of them; not any more. "I'll talk to Mom about flying out here," I said dismissively.

"What if some others came out here for you?" she asked, still refusing to move. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo for them. I just shrugged instead of voicing my thoughts. My mother would beat me with the stupid stick if I cursed in front of my elders. "Well I'm glad you feel that way," she said, her hand reaching behind her for the handle of the door. "Because there's someone here for you."

She pushed the door open and the young woman inside stood. God hates me. He couldn't just let me die in desert. No; he had to bring me back to hell to endure Satan's torture. Unfortunately for me, the devil himself had shown up at my new home. And she was five-foot-seven with her black hair in a fat braid hanging over her shoulder. "Nate," Allie breathed. I'd rather endure the blast again than be here.


	2. Chapter I

**Author's Note: Okay, the plan for this story is to have one chapter a day until I am finished with my other story ****_The Consequences_****. Please let me know what you think of my portrayal of Leah. I really feel like she is a severely underdeveloped character in the ****_Twilight_**** series. Anyways, enjoy!**

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**Chapter I:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

"Harry was a great man," someone began, but I didn't really care who it was. My dad _was_ a great man. He _was_ the one person who never expected me to deal with Sam and Emily's bullshit like it was nothing. My dad _was_ a great man, but some bloodsucking parasite had scared the shit out of him, his daughter had broken every rule that could possibly exist by turning into a fucking Spirit Wolf.

I couldn't sit here and listen to this shit. I couldn't sit here and have everyone remind me that the only person who had understood, or at least, pretended to understand, was gone and he wasn't coming back. No, I was done with this shit.

The cold air hit me like knives against my skin. Let it; let it kill me and take me away from here. I didn't want to be sitting in hell anymore. I sank down on a log and stared at the sky. "Is this funny to you?" I shouted to the clouds. "Is this how you get your kicks? You just find little ways to fuck with my life?"

My jaw was set tight, my anger clamping the tendons and muscles to keep it shut. I smelled her then, before she padded over and sank down next to me. She bumped me with her shoulder, but I didn't move. "Hey," she said. Leave it to Ryanne Swan to come after me. What did the Swan sisters think? That they could help all the broken people in the world?

No; that was just Ryanne. The Bella bitch was too selfish to think that she could help anyone. "If you're going to tell me to go back in there, you can save your breath. No one in this hell hole likes me anyways," I said honestly.

"Please, like I'm going to tell you to do anything. You wouldn't listen to me anyways." I guess that's what I liked about Ryanne. She never tried to make me do anything. Since I had joined the Pack, she never tried to get me to talk to Emily; she never tried to make me forgive them. I yelled at her, she yelled back. And I really cared about the kid. She was nice, in a bitchy kind of way. She didn't try to be anything but what she was. "I'm assuming you don't want to talk," she said. Why would I want to talk to her? What did she understand about losing someone? I mean, yeah she's a nice kid and she's just trying to help, but she knows jack shit about life and pain. "I mean, growling at me isn't really doing anything for you." I had growled?

"What do you want, Ryanne? You want me to say that I'm angry?" Isn't that what people wanted? They wanted me to admit that I was angry and upset and sad and betrayed. Except that I wasn't; not anymore. Emotions just got in the way of the things that were really important. "What do you want to hear? Is there something that I can tell you that will make you go away?" I jumped to my feet and stared at the ocean.

"So what you going to do, Leah?" she asked. I hadn't been expecting that. "You going to phase and run?" Didn't sound like a bad idea. "Because that sure as hell isn't helping anyone; least of all your mom." I winced; I hated the things that had happened to me, but I didn't want my mother and brother suffering either. "Now get your ass in my car," she spat.

"Why the fuck should I go with you?" I said, sinking back into my defensive shell. I didn't need to be vulnerable. That's how you ended up bleeding on your back.

"Because your choices are me or Emily," she snapped back. "So you can get your bitter ass in my car, and I can take you somewhere you'll love. Or you can try to get me to leave and Emily can come out here to try to help you." Emily wasn't going to help anything. She was only going to piss me off more. "But phasing isn't an option anymore, Leah," Ryanne added, her voice quiet and blue eyes dark.

I growled. I could yell at her enough and make her leave. I mean, she was pretty stubborn but even Ryanne would back down eventually. But if she didn't, Emily would think that she could use my father's death as a way to make me like her again. It was going to happen… Ever. She was dead to me. Forever. I stalked towards the car, ignoring the fact that I was playing right into what she wanted. When had she become so fucking manipulative?

"Where are you taking me? Disneyland?" I asked after some time.

"No; somewhere infinitely more fun," she replied. She didn't say anything word until we pulled up to an old building with the name _Frank's_ on the windows. Ryanne threw a bag at my face, lucky that I caught it. I wasn't in the mood for her shit. "Go get dressed and meet me in the ring."

"What the fuck are we doing here?" I asked. What was _Frank's_?

"Leah, just shut up and get dressed. It's not going to kill you." I took the damn bag and followed her into the gym, grumbling something unintelligible. I couldn't stand the face in the mirror anymore. So much about me had changed since I'd become a wolf. I was no longer a young woman with curves and a sweet face framed by her long hair.

No, I was hardened now; a warrior. Emily had cut my hair in a single-length bob that hung limply on my cheeks. Everything about my face had become more angular, more manly, stronger, more defined. I wasn't pretty anymore, not that it mattered. I was nothing more than a broken heart living in the shell someone's skin.

Ryanne took a little longer to get to me, the stench of smell wafting through the room. There were people there who looked at me, but no one stared very long. I had perfected my bitch stare shortly after the Fuck had left me for the Cow. "Be a good pup and behave," her voice rang from behind me.

Pup? I was no one's damn _pup_. I was the fastest, even faster than the beloved Jacob Black. "I'm not a pup," I shouted at her.

"Then stop acting like one!" she screamed, matching me for volume. "Quit acting like you're the only one who is in pain." She didn't know anything about the pain that I felt. "Your brother had his life flipped upside too." Why did she have to bring Seth into this? He was just a kid, not much younger than her. "Your mother just lost her husband." I flinched. I knew what my mother had lost. I didn't need the reminder. "But you're right, Leah; your life is the hardest."

It was harder, harder than she realized. She had a mother who stood by her, a boyfriend who would never leave her, and a father who was waiting for her at home. Two, if you counted Billy. I threw a punch, swinging wide and strong with the hope of clipping her chin. "You don't know anything about me."

"You've got to be the stupidest person I've ever met. I came here because I need a place to yell, a place to scream." What did she have to scream about? Her daddy's divorce? "You're not the only one who feels pain." She managed to catch my cheek, tossing my head ever so slightly to the side. Damn; girl could throw a punch. "Being bitter is only worth it for a little while." Why did everyone think that I was bitter?  
I felt my fist connect with her stomach, watching with nothing but anger as she flew back. I stood over her, daring her to get back to her feet, the wolf in me snarling. "Do you feel better yet?" she asked, panting for air. She pushed me out of her way and shoved her feet. "Because I'm sure hitting someone made everything feel better, right?" Fuck yeah it did. "The pain is gone, huh? You've forgotten that Sam is with Emily? That your dad died?"

Of course I didn't forget that shit. It was my life. My life was just a series of dominoes and I spent all my time waiting for the next one to fall. "Get your ass out of the ring and follow me."

How was she still fighting me? I had just thrown her onto the ground and here she was, ordering me around like some Alpha. I followed her away from the ring to a bag that was hiding in the back corner. "You can't just sit here and be bitter, Leah. You've given him much power over you, so much control."  
"Sam doesn't control me!" No one did. I sank my fist into the bag, feeling the sand move away as I hit.

"Like hell he doesn't! You changed everything about yourself because he left you." It was for my protection. Nothing would ever hurt me like that again. "You ended your relationship with the only person you cared about because of him. You won't be _yourself_ around him because you're afraid he'll realize that he has so much control over you. But it's all good, Leah; keep up the bitterness. I mean, it's made you happy this far, right?"

What the fuck did she knew about me? What did she knew about what it felt like to try again and again to piece yourself together and get nothing in return? Nothing; she knew nothing. I was exhausted, feeling away that I hadn't in forever. I was tired, mentally _and _physically, realizing now that Ryanne hadn't been manipulating me. No; she'd been helping me. How'd you find this place?" I asked. Ryanne didn't seem like the one who would get into fighting.

"After Sarah died, I couldn't dance again. It was too hard. This place had an advertisement right beside the old studio. I bed my dad again and again until he finally let me take some lessons. After a few years, Frank asked me if I wanted to compete. It's a good place to let all that anger out," she said, indicating me again.

"What do you know about me, Ryanne? You've had a perfect life."

She scoffed. "Perfect, huh? You know my mother electively left me here." I'd thought that Ryanne chose to stay with Charlie. "And every time that I went back to her house, she would sign me up for a summer camp and leave me there. That's how I know about what you feel, Leah." No, my dad was always there whenever I needed him. "I was so angry at her for choosing to leave me then not wanting me when I was there. Sarah was the one who told me being bitter did for me." Yeah, it kept you protected, safe from harm. Not that I was bitter. "Nothing. Sarah was the only mother that I knew. She was more my mother than _my mother _ever was. And, believe it or not, I know what you're feeling.

"It's the ridiculous hopelessness, right? You feel like you should've been there, done something, anything, to keep it from happening. You play the last conversation you remember having with them over and over again, trying to remember if you told them that you loved them. I know what _all_ of that feels like, Leah. And this place," she paused to look around the sweat filled gym. "If I'm right and this is what you're feeling, then this is the right place for you. And if you don't stop, I'll just sign you up myself."

I didn't know how to be a girl anymore. I had become so different since the Cow stole Sam. I reached a hand down, to help her up. "Thanks, Rye," I whispered, hoping that she would understand. She just nodded. God I loved this bitch; she was the little sister I never wanted. "Go sign up, Bitch," she said with punch to my arm. "Tell Frank or Nathan that you'll share a locker with me."

This place might be good. The guys weren't here, I could escape Sam and Emily and wolves and Mom and Pack. I could fight it out without anyone judging me. Who knew a kid like Ryanne would have the right idea with grief and bitterness. Not that I was bitter. "Can I get a sign-up sheet?"

The black haired kid in front of me wasn't much older than me was still looking down. "Do you know anyone?" His voice was rough and deep, a rumble that vibrated through the air.

"Ryanne Swan." He nodded to himself and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen.

"Fill this-"

Both of us stopped. I had always thought that Sam was the best looking man that I had ever seen, but I had been wrong. The guy had green eyes that looked more like the trees in the forest after the rain, when the sun was shining and reflecting the little droplets of water left over. His hair was buzzed short, just little fuzz that barely seemed to be there at all. I wondered what it would feel like underneath my palm. His skin was tan, about as dark as mine. His lips were wide and open as he stared at me, just as intently as I stared at him.

Shit; I did the one thing that my heart wouldn't be able to take; the one thing that I never wanted to do. I'd imprinted.


	3. Chapter II

**Author's Note: The chapter is really short, but there some important details in it. Pay attention and see if you can figure it out. For those who read ****_Consequences, _****this is an explanation for why Leah had the book that she had. Enjoy everyone!**

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**Chapter II:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

I woke up a few hours after I had fallen into my bed, a cold sweat dripping down my back. This was getting ridiculous! How was I supposed to get my four hours of daily sleep when I kept waking up like someone had just shot me. And the shitty part was I didn't even know what the fuck I'd been dreaming about. I hadn't had dreams since I'd become a wolf; I was too tired to actually dream. Before then, I always wished that Sam would come back to me. Now that I was one of them, I knew more about why he left me. Just saying: knowing why doesn't take sting out of it. That's like saying you understand why your parents spanked you so it didn't hurt. Bullshit.

This nightmare shit was getting out of control. Now that I was a wolf, I wasn't afraid of anything. There was no reason why I shouldn't be sleeping four hours uninterrupted. I swung my legs over the edge of my bed and pushed my hair out of my face. I was going to have to get cut again, which meant entering Hell. I found myself in the bathroom that I shared with Seth sitting on the counter staring at the little tick marks on the door frame. Hard to believe that we were ever that small.

I hopped in the shower shortly after that, letting the water run down my neck, over my shoulders, down my legs until it had turned cold. I didn't know what to think of this imprint shit. I didn't know the kid; I didn't want to know him. I had seen the imprint at work in three different relationships now. And all three of them were hopelessly devoted to one another. I didn't want that. I didn't need to be attached to another person. That wasn't asking for heartache; that was inviting him in for a beer.

"Leah, are you going to be in there all day?" Seth called through the door. Poor kid didn't understand what was happening to us. At least, he thought that it was fun or something.

"I'll be out in a minute!" I shouted back. I still hadn't told the Pack that I had imprinted. I wasn't ready to deal with that yet. Sam would probably tell me that I should be happy. Emily would find out and do her little smiling-cry thing that she did whenever she was overcome with excitement. Paul would give me some shit about imprinting, like I didn't know the bad things about it already. Hell I had felt that shit in action. No; I hadn't told anyone and I had Ryanne to thank for that.

The little bitch that I loved like a sister had taught me the most random shit, things I wasn't sure a normal human being knew. It was simple stuff, things that you could list off. And when I wasn't patrolling and looking for leeches, I was listing this stuff off in my head. Disney movies, national capitals, state capitals; the random stuff that she knew was endless. I toweled off my hair again remembering that I was going to have cut it again soon. "Mom, I'm heading to the Blacks'," I shouted as I pulled a hoodie over my body.

Just as I had assumed, Ryanne was sitting in the house, watching T.V. while she worked on her homework. "Hey Leah," she said, setting the books aside. "How you doing?"

It had been a week since the imprint. Most days it kind of sucked. I could feel a tug all damn day but I hadn't told anyone about it. Ryanne had the genius idea of taking me to the gym and it was helping. Just being around him made it a little easier. I still hadn't spoken to him, though. And I wasn't going to do that. Not any time soon, at least. "I hate this," I said, sinking down beside her.

"You would like it more it you would give it a shot," she replied.

"No; not even then. I don't want to be an imprint," I grumbled.

"You're not an imprint. You're a wolf; he's an imprint," she replied.

"Don't be a bitch."

"Don't be a whore." I sighed. "You could just talk to him, you know."

"He won't like me."

"You don't know that."

"No one likes me," I reminded her.

"Well that's true," she replied, tossing a book at me. "It was Bella's," she said. I tossed it down like it was tainted. "Relax; I stole it from her. She bought it in Port Angeles one time. It's supposed to be a good history of the Quileute legends, including imprinting."

The book was old, leather bound, most of the pages looking worn. "Why would I want something like this?" I asked with a scoff. Pretending you didn't care was much better than actually caring. Nothing could hurt you if you didn't care.

"Well, I don't need any help with the imprinting stuff. I've got Jake if I need explanations. And while I don't understand _why_ I'm his imprint, I know that he loves me. You, on the other hand, know nothing about this. I thought it might be a little helpful for you. I stole it yesterday."

"Oh, my bitch, you stole a book for me?" I laughed.

"Just read the damn thing; maybe you'll be able to make a decision that will actually help you."

"Don't start Ryanne!"

"It's a good thing! Stop fighting this like a rabid dog, damn it!" she shouted back at me. "Why don't we go to the gym?"

"Why?" I growled.

"Because you're shaking and you're not angry." I was too angry. "Come on, we both know that you like it there." I couldn't fault her there. She stood then and grabbed the car keys from the little table. "You know, you could tell Jake so that you had someone else to talk to," she suggested once we were in the car. I just rolled my eyes.

Nathan looked over at me when I walked in the gym, but I didn't bother to look back at him. The cinder block that had been sitting on my chest was slowing lifting off my lungs, allowing me to get a full breath of air. The gym was quiet, only the breathing of the trainers and the sound of fist slapping canvas bags interrupting the peace.

I waited for Ryanne to finish in the bathroom, as Frank's didn't exactly have a girls' locker room. "Ryanne! Hurry your fat ass up!" I shouted. She just hummed quietly to herself. I groaned in exasperation. She was planning something; she always was.

"It's Leah, right?"

Dear God, why did his voice sound so delicious? How was I supposed to avoid the man when he went through the effort of finding me? And why did he have to smell so good. It was some delightful mixture of cinnamon and pine, earthy and warm and fantastic. What was I doing? I was avoiding him, right! I just nodded in response, my eyes fixed on the door that Ryanne was hiding behind.

"Maybe we could head out for a run or something?" I growled and turned away from him. "You don't run?" I didn't say anything, my heart twisting a little in my chest. "Maybe we could just spar a little?" I didn't look at him. "Okay well whenever you're ready to get that stick out of your ass, maybe we could talk."

I scoffed and turned towards him, but he had already begun to walk away. Couldn't lie; I liked what I saw. Finally Rye emerged. "You're killing me" she whined. I growled at her. "Oh wah! Suck it up and talk to him. He's not a bad guy."

"I thought you didn't know him," I countered.

"He can't be any worse than-"

"Don't go there Ryanne. I'll rip your tongue out."

She rolled her eyes and walked away, leaving me standing there to change. This just wasn't fair. Jared got the girl of his dreams, the girl who had been pining after him for years now. Ryanne got a guy that was always meant to be with her. And Sam… Sam got a cow that had stole n the only thing that was important to me away. And she didn't even care about it. Sure, my cousin was sorry that things happened the way that they did. But knowing what I knew now, I realized that she had the power to keep everything from happening the way it did and she didn't care.

I changed quickly and found myself at my favorite bag, the one that was in the back of the gym away from prying eyes. This stupid asshole didn't even know what he was getting into. I was too fucked up to try to make this thing work. But my eyes followed his every move, watching him struggle, noticing the pained expression on his face. I gave up on the punching; it was helping me any.

I settled against the wall, waiting for Ryanne to tell me that she was done, and pried open the book that she had given me. _Imprinting: the finding of a soulmate for a Quileute Spirit Warrior. These people, those who are imprinted on, are destined to complete the wolf. The wolf will be whatever they need, not what they desire. The imprint is an unbreakable bond. There is no recorded incident of this bond being severed. The imprint bond forever ties the souls together. They feel what the other feels; the fear, the pain, the joy. To doubt the imprint's bond, to betray it results in pain that most actively avoid. There is no recorded declination of the imprint bond by an imprint._

If I just didn't tell him, he could decline the bond. Look at that solution. Don't talk to him, leave him be, and he can't do anything to me. "You almost ready to head back, Lee?" Ryanne suddenly called. Oh thank God!


	4. Chapter III

**Author's Note: Sorry it's up so late. Those who read ****_Consequences_**** know that I had a minor brain fart that resulted in a 6 a.m. cram session instead of proofing the chapters that were to be posted today.  
TiGeRzYi: I wanted to address your review. I see imprinting a little differently and there is so AU in the story. It will be explained in this story as well in just a few chapters, but I don't think that the imprint necessarily forces things to happy. I think that it points the wolves in the direction. Ryanne would've ended up with Jake eventually, whether Jake had become a wolf or not. Jared would've realized that Kim was alive on day, whether it happened their senior year or at the 10-year Reunion. I won't say anything about Sam and Emily because that will be addressed in this story as things progress. I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear about imprinting, but that's what I feel it is.  
Enjoy the chapter everyone.**

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**Chapter III: ****_Nathan's Point of View_**

"You can't be mad at the woman," Frank said. Jeanie was in the house just behind the gym, trying to calm a screaming Allie. And I could very well be mad at _both_ women. "Jeanie's got the best intentions," he continued. Well, at least he wasn't talking about Allie. Look at the fucking silver lining.

"Isn't there something about paving the road to Hell with those?" I jumped up onto the rope, legs out in front of me so I had to rely on my arms.

"Quit your whining, boy. You got the woman to leave. Your aunt was only trying to help you out," Frank continued.

"By bringing a grim reaper here," I grunted as I pulled myself up the twenty feet of rope. "That was very helpful."

"And fighting things out in a ring is helping you, right?"

"You did the same thing when you got back," I pointed out, still trekking up the rope. "You ended up opening a gym for the rest of us."

"I never thought my nephew was going to be one of them in the gym," Frank replied. "Then again, I never thought a kid like you would end up in the Corps." I just rolled my eyes and continued up. "Why don't you get your ass down here?"

"Why don't we make sure the dragon is out of here?"

"I have a name, Nathan!"

"Not anymore," I murmured to myself, beginning the slow descent, my hands burning as I went.

"Come on, Nate; I'm hear to apologize and get you to come back home. Everyone there misses you. It's been three years Nate!"

"I'm not going back to Montana, Allie. Can you leave now?"

"Scott just wants a chance to talk to you."

"Sucks that he won't ever get that chance."

"So you're just going to pretend that we were never friends?"

"I'm not really sure if it's pretending."

"Don't be this way, Nate."

"Why don't you just go back home, Allie. If you want to tell him anything, tell him to go fuck himself," I said, dropping down to the ground and moving towards the bags. Allie just began sobbing, her cries echoing through the gym.

"Was that really necessary?" Jeanie asked as she entered the gym. If only she knew.

* * *

_Two Months Later_

I don't know what I would've done if Frank and Jeanie hadn't taken me in. They had given me a job, given me a place to live, a place to train. "Honestly, Nathan, it is about time that you go back home," Jeanie said. "I'm not saying that you can't live here with us, but you're mother misses you."

"I'll plan on bringing her out here after I've found a place to live," I replied.

"What happened out there, Nathan? You're family misses you," Jeanie replied.

"That's enough, Jean," Frank called suddenly. "Leave the boy alone. Nathan, you want to carry around your problems, go right ahead. But you can't be bitter and upset about the things that have happened _here_. You want to run from your problems? You want to escape? You'll be running and hiding all your life."

"Maybe this place could be a fresh start for you," Jeanie cut in, finally realizing that Frank was asking me to stay. "I have a friend down on La Push Reservation. Maybe we could find you a place to live down there."

I just nodded, not sure if I wanted to live on a reservation again. Either way, I needed to find a place of my own to live. "I should get behind the desk," I said, noticing the slow trickle of people moving into the gym. Jeanie patted my thigh before I stood to move to the office desk.

I would love to say that I actually did any work, but I didn't. I sat in the chair that looked like a little kid's toy chair, and played solitaire for a couple of hours. I finally got bored and looked up the top twenty music videos of the week. Apparently, I hadn't missed out on much while I was gone. People were still singing about sex and booze and boys were still dressing like girls. Ryanne Swan walked through the doors then, yelling at some girl that was grumbling behind her.

"Hey Rye," I called. She just nodded at me. I liked the kid. It took a lot of guts to be a female fighter. I hadn't seen her around in a few weeks, not since I'd first come to Forks, actually. Back when I'd first gotten here, she'd been one of the few who actually spoke to me and helped me figure out things around this little poe-dunk town. The girl reemerged from the bathroom in a sports bra and sports, a definite line down the second of her stomach. She was clearly a runner, had the ass and legs to prove it.

"Be a good pup and behave," Ryanne taunted. I snorted to myself.

"I'm not a pup!" she shouted.

"Then stop acting like one!"

I got the distinct feeling that I shouldn't be listening in on this conversation. I turned my attention to the paperwork that I probably should've gotten done hours ago. It was hard not to watch the girl though. She moved so swiftly, so gracefully. She watched the Swan kid like an animal, following her every move. She definitely had the strength but she was so full of hate. You could see it on her face. She was so angry at Ryanne for something that the little twerp had said. I had never seen Ryanne make it to her back, but all too soon she was lying on her back, glaring up at the girl.

They walked out of the ring then, the taller girl still fuming. I swear you could see steam coming out of her ears. I stopped staring once they were out of sight, away from everyone else. Probably at the back bag that I had claimed as mine since the moment that I got here. You could hear her hard punches into the bag. Who had fucked with this girl? I had to time this. The sound of the hits echoed at a steady pace through the gym for forty-five minutes. Then there was nothing but silence. I hadn't realized that people had been leaving. Truthfully, someone could've been talking to me an I wouldn't have noticed.

I saw her walking towards me and ducked my head, afraid I might've just been made. That's what you get for staring at some girl that you didn't even know. "Can I get a sign-up sheet?" I wasn't sure what I liked more, her voice when she was pissed or its softness when she was exhausted.

"Do you know anyone?" I asked. I wanted to smack myself in the face. She'd come in with Ryanne. Obviously she knew someone.

"Ryanne Swan." Apparently she hadn't noticed me watching her like a hungry dog. I just nodded and reached into the little drawer to grab a sign-up and a pen.

"Fill this." I didn't finish my sentence. I couldn't. Where the hell had she been hiding for the last 23 years or so?

Her skin was flawless, save a little scar on her cheek that you couldn't really see. Her hair was cut short and simple, nothing really special about it. Except for the fact that I wanted to push it back from her cheeks so I could see more of her eyes. Her eyes were stunning, like watching chocolate melting in front of you. Her lips were a dark reddish-brown, a little accent from her brandy colored skin. Her cheekbones were high and defined, her eyes a perfect almond. She ran her hands, scratched up and a little scarred, through her hair, pushing it out of the way like I had been hoping.

And then she turned away from me without another word. She tripped over her own feet a little and sprinted from the room, leaving her bag lying on the ground. "Wait!" I called, but she was gone. I didn't even get her name.

What the fuck was my problem? I had just had my heart broken by a girl that I had dated for almost a decade. Maybe I was thinking with the wrong part of my anatomy. The picture of her ass when she walked in flashed through my brain. Yeah, okay, wrong body part. "Hey Nathan; let me see that application," Ryanne demanded. When had she gotten here?

"You know her, Rye?" Of course she did. I knew she did. I had asked the other chick the question and I had seen them spar together. Clearly I needed to get my brain back together.

"Yeah, just do me a favor and let Frank know she's going to share a locker with me," Ryanne replied. I wanted her name, damn it.

Wait, no I didn't. I was done with dating, with lies, with deceit, with heartache. I turned my attention back to the little squirt in front of me. Okay, so Ryanne wasn't exactly little. She was pretty tall and a good size for her height, but she was still just a kid. That made her a squirt. That's what I used to call all the kids around the base. "Where you been, Ryanne?"

"My sister was pretty sick," she replied with a shrug. A kid who cared about family? Did those even exist anymore? Maybe it was family bonds that didn't exist anymore. Or maybe they just didn't fucking matter. She handed the application back to me, completely filled out.

_Leah K. Clearwater. _"Leah, huh? Pretty name," I whispered to myself. She sighed. Shit, she'd heard me and now she was going to go tell her friend.

But I guess that didn't matter because I didn't _want_ a relationship. At all. Period. End of story. It would only bring me problems that I didn't want to deal with ever again. "I'll see you around, Nathan," she replied.

"It's Nate!" She just waved at, slinging both bags onto her shoulders. "Should I tell Frank you're back then?"

"Yeah; do that. We'll be back in a few days or so."

* * *

Clearly, my mental talk down about this check was not helping me. I thought about her all the time. I thought about what she looked like, how angry she'd been. I wondered where she came from, how she knew Swan, what had happened that made her so angry. And it didn't help that she was coming around the gym on pretty much a daily basis. And there we had it; right on time. She wasn't related to Ryanne; they looked nothing alike. I studied her, trying to figure out how she knew the kid. But she gave nothing away. Everything about her was hidden under this hard, brittle mask that I had never seen her let down.

She stood outside the bathroom, probably wishing that there was a girls' locker room. Frank didn't really have many girls. He had two, actually. Ryanne and Leah. "Ryanne! Hurry your fat ass up!" Clearly, she didn't have anything against cursing. I stood behind her for a moment, mentally debating what to do.

Talking to her didn't _have_ to mean anything. In fact, it didn't mean anything. I was the owner's nephew and I was helping him out by getting to know his newest client. She had a mean hit, I had seen it. Maybe she would be interested in competing of something. "It's Leah, right?" I finally asked.

She didn't turn towards me so I walked in front of her so that she had to look at me. She stared at the door. So she was stubborn? Or she wanted attention. Allie would pout whenever she wanted attention. Then again, this chick wasn't pouting. And she didn't exactly seem like she wanted to talk to me. "Maybe we could head out for a run or something?" She made a throaty sound that was something like a growl and turned away. "You don't run?" I asked. Her ass would say differently. "Maybe we could just spar a little?" She was always sparing with Ryanne. And while Ryanne had the technique, Leah had more strength. Maybe she would do better with someone a little stronger than the kid. But she didn't look at me. You didn't say anything. I threw my arms up. What was the point in trying? "Okay, well whenever you're ready to get that stick out of your ass, maybe we could talk." I'd never met anyone who died from having a conversation.

Ryanne was moving a little slower, a little stiffer than usual while sparing with my uncle. Still, she was here and she knew this girl. This was the act of a desperate man. I couldn't explain why I needed to talk to this girl, but I did. So I tapped her shoulder. She wheeled around to get me good, but stopped short with a wince. "What do you want?" she said breathlessly.

"Convince her to spar with me," I said.

"Why don't you try talking to her before punching her?" she replied sarcastically. I had tried that and it didn't work very well.

"She keeps running from me. You know her Ryanne," I said, leaving off a plea for her to help me.

"Nate, I barely know you." I was the owner's nephew; I couldn't be _that_ bad. Besides, she didn't have to know about all the shit I'd gone through. "Figure this out yourself, man." I'd been trying and I was failing. I shouldn't even really care. It wasn't important. She was nothing but a heartache waiting to happen. I sighed and turned away. "Leah wouldn't listen to me even if I begged, Nate. You'll have to get her to listen to you. Just don't corner her." I nodded and turned away, avoiding her general direction. Oh what a tangled, fucked up, web I weave.


	5. Chapter IV

**Author's Note: Okay, don't get frustrated with them. It's just them starting out. Enjoy reading everyone!**

* * *

**Chapter IV:****_ Nathan's Point of View_**

There they were; right on time as usual. She still hadn't spoken to me and I hadn't tried to make things work again. I didn't need to care about her. There was no reason to ask for heartache that I didn't need. "Hey Nate, you got a partner?" Ryanne called. Leah glared at her like she had don'e something she shouldn't have. I shook my head. What was I doing? I did have a partner; Uncle Frank just wasn't here yet. Of course, he wouldn't mind me sparing with someone else.

What the hell was I thinking? She had made it perfectly clear that she didn't want me around. Leah probably didn't want to spar with me. It was probably Ryanne. I mean, she had been fighting with Leah for the last couple of work outs. She probably wanted to fight with someone that had technique. Yeah; that's what this was. "I need to go warm up," she said. I could wait. "Leah's good to go." Leah looked back at her with a snarl. Leah jumped into the ring, grumbling as she went.

"What happened to talk to her before you hit her?" I asked when I was standing beside the younger girl. She laughed.

"I think you'll find her fists a little nicer than her mouth," she said with a little laugh. She was nothing I couldn't handle, I was sure of it. She was just a girl after all. "Leah!" she shouted. The beauty turn, her hair spinning a few short inches behind her. "Go easy on him! He's an old man!" I think I might have seen a smile on her hard face. I wasn't old. "She's a little on edge, but it's the best I could do."

The little squirt had gone through all the trouble of convincing her to spar with me. That little… I didn't even know. "I owe you big, don't I?" I asked then.

"You don't even know," she replied. I laughed and jumped back in the ring with the girl.

It was hard not to admire her. She had a definite look of strength to her. It had nothing to do with the lean muscles on her arms, the light definition of her abs, her strong legs, her ass. No, it was the hardness in her eyes, the determined glint that shined. It was stupid that I admired her strength, honestly stupid. And yet…

"Hey, are you ready to go?" I said quietly. She just grunted. "I've been watching you spar the last few days," I began. "Maybe we could work a little on your technique," I suggested.

"Whatever," she said, slowly beginning to walk around me. "Can't we just fight?" she suggested.

"Sure; you've got a lot of power," I said, barely avoiding her swing. "But if you can get some technique-"

"I don't want your help, dude," she interrupted.

"It's Nate."

"Don't care." She swung again. She wanted to hit something, fine. We could do this.

We were circling each other like a couple of vultures. She wanted to do this angry, we could do this. I stopped thinking about the fact that she was beautiful and strong and powerful and everything that anyone could ever dream of. I stopped thinking about the nightmares that plagued me. And I saw red.

She was fast, faster than any other girl that I had ever spared with. Her punches were hard and fast, definitely leaving me with a few good bruises. And yet, she looked like she was holding back. There was a concentrated look about her face that threw me. Did she really think that she could hurt me? "Are we done playing?" I asked. She stopped and lowered her fists.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she spat.

"You're holding back. You really want to keep playing? Or as that as hard as you can hit? Never thought of you as some weak girl," I taunted.

"You don't know me," she growled. Wasn't that what this whole thing was for?

"You won't let me," I snarled back. "Or are you just some weak little girl?" She rushed at me, catching me in the shoulder. This hit was a little harder than the others. "Maybe that's why some jackass left," I said, hoping that it would get her to drop her guard.

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about," she managed right before her hand closed around my throat.

I was on my back before I even knew what had happened, panting for a breath. Well shit, I hadn't been expecting that. I was pretty sure that she _lifted_ me off the ground. "You don't know anything about me. So maybe you shouldn't say shit you don't know anything about."

She stormed off then, leaving me gasping on the ground. She jumped to the ground, landing with barely a sound and walking out the doors. Ryanne and some guy I had never seen before were staring after her. The guy followed Leah out the door, leaving me wondering what their connection was. Ryanne hopped into the ring with me, extending a hand to help me up. "You okay?" she asked.

"Her fists are nicer than her mouth, huh?" I asked, still struggling to breathe.

"Most of the time," she replied. "You sure you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

"What did you do?" Why did I have to be the one to do something? Okay, well I did do something. And it was my fault. Damn it, why were relationships so confusing. Not that this was or ever would be a relationship.

"I called her weak." Ryanne winced. "And I may have said something about a boyfriend." Her face looked like she had just seen the apocalypse coming at her. "Bad?"

"You can't even begin to understand," she said. "I would give her a few days to cool off, especially if you value your life." I nodded. "I've got to get going. Just, uh, give her a little while."

* * *

I couldn't just forget what I had said. She was right; I didn't know anything about her. I had obviously struck a sour chord with what I'd said. My mother would be disappointed with me. And I couldn't live with that. I looked at the clock on the wall. It wasn't too late. I could fix this. I ran to the file cabinet and grabbed her file, searching for her address before jumping in her car.

Maybe this wasn't a good idea. I guess it was too late now. I was standing in front of the door, my hands holding my ball cap. This was a bad idea. And still, I knocked. A woman who couldn't have been much older than my mother answered the door, her long black hair hanging down to her waist. "Does Leah Clearwater live here?"

"May I ask who you are, young man?"

"My name is Nathan Crowe, Mrs. Clearwater. I know Leah from the gym," I said. She just looked confused. "Is she here?" She nodded.

"Leah, there's someone at the door for you," she called behind her.

The girl appeared after just a moment, stopping as soon as she saw me. "What are you doing here?" she snapped.

"I came to talk to you," I replied.

"You know him, Leah?" her mother asked. She nodded and took another step towards me.

"I've got this, Ma." The woman disappeared then leaving me standing with her daughter, who still hadn't invited me in. "What do you want?"

"To talk. I shouldn't have said what I said," I said solemnly. "Maybe we could go get a coffee and talk a little," I suggested.

"I have to go to work."

"So you go to the gym all afternoon and work all night? When do you sleep?"

"I don't. Will you please leave before my mother decides that you should stay for dinner?" I could stay for dinner. "I have to go to work."

"All the more reason to get a coffee. Come on, it's not going to hurt anything."

"How did you figure out where I lived?"

"It was on your file," I admitted.

"So you're a stalker now?" I could see where she would think that.

"I just wanted to talk to you. Please come and get coffee with me," I said again.

"I don't want to."

"Fine, then can we go on a walk or something? I just want to talk to you." She sighed and looked down at her folded arms.

"Mom, I'll be back in a little while," she called, slipping a pair of sandals onto her feet. I waited patiently for her, still unsure what to do about all this. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I'm sorry about the things that I said. I shouldn't have said them." She nodded, arms still folded around her chest. "And you're right; I don't know anything about you."

"Well, look at that; a jackass that can admit when he's wrong," she said quietly.

"You don't know anything about me either," I said. "So I don't think you're in the position to call me a jackass." She sighed heavily, looking away. "Look, we're both a little rude."

"I am not rude!"

"Okay, well I am. Can't we just get a coffee or something?" She shook her head. "Okay, how about twenty questions?" She nodded. "Okay, well I'm tired, so let's grab some coffee while we play."

"You think you're smart, don't you?"

"I know so, darlin," I replied. She snorted, but got into the car without another word. She shivered a little as we started driving, her eyes closed. "You cold?"

"No, I'm good," she replied. Okay, whatever. If she wanted to be stubborn, I wasn't going to stop her.

"So, how many siblings do you have?" I asked.

"Isn't twenty questions with yes or no responses?" she growled.

"Fine; do you have siblings?"

"Yes."

"Do you have a sister?"

"No."

"A brother?"

"Yes."

"Did I really have to ask you four questions? You couldn't have just answered?"

"Yes and No; thirteen left." That little bitch. I smiled, two could play at this game.

"Do you like having your hair short?"

"No."

"Do you have a favorite color?" She nodded. "Do you come here often?" I asked, indicating the cafe. She nodded again but she didn't look very happy about it. "Go grab us a table." She stared at me like I had asked her to bite her tongue out of her mouth. "Please?"

"Nine left," she said as she took off.

"Hey, I'll take a large drip and whatever she normally gets," I said, pointing to Leah behind me. The girl peered around me, gave me a flirtatious smile and nodded. "Just keep the change," I said, handing her a five. "Have you always lived on the reservation?" I asked, handing her a coffee. She took it and stared out the window, nodding. "Are you Quileute?" She nodded. "Are you parents divorced?" I asked, thinking that I hadn't seen her dad when I went to pick her up.

Silence.

"No," she breathed. Her inhale sounded shaky, like she wanted to cry.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No; five left. You suck at this," she smiled a little, her lips just barely parting to reveal her teeth. It changed her entire face. She looked happier, lighter, younger.

"Do you want to compete in fighting?" She shook her head. "Do you want to learn more?" She paused, her face a little contemplative, and nodded. "Would you consider letting me help you?"

"Yes."

"Are you angry that I made you go with me to get coffee?"

"No."

"Will you forgive me for being a dick earlier?"

"If I must."

"Yes or no answers."

"Yes," she grumbled. "My turn."

I settled myself in the chair a little more, resting my ankle on my knee. "Are you Native?"

"Yes."

"Were you in the Air Force?"

I snorted. "No."

"Were in you in the Coast Guard?"

"No."

"Were you in the Marine Corps?"

"Bingo."

"Yes or no," she mocked, eyes narrowed defiantly.

"Yes."

"Are you planning on going back to wherever you're from?"

I smiled. "No."

"Do you compete in MMA?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Isn't twenty questions with yes or no responses?" She growled. "Yeah, not as easy as you think."

"Will you compete in MMA?"

"No."

"Do you have a job?"

"Yes."

"Do you work at the gym?

"Yes."

"Do you want to work somewhere else?"

"Yes."

"Do you think I'm a bitch?"  
"Yes," I said with a smile. "But I don't mind."

"Good, because I think you're a dick."

"I figured as much."

"Do you really want to help me?"

"Yes."

"Are you seeing anyone?"  
"No," I growled.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No," I said curtly. She didn't look convinced. A howl sounded in the distance and she jumped up. "Everything okay?"  
"I thought it was my turn," she teased. I cocked an eyebrow. "I have to get going. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon?"

"I'd like that," I replied. "Let's go."

"I'll walk."

"You shouldn't be walking through the forest alone at night," I said, worrying about a beautiful young woman like her walking through the dense trees.

She just laughed harshly. "I work in the middle of the forest at a, uh, ranger station not far from here. I've got to go. We'll talk tomorrow."

I don't know why I loved the sound of that. I didn't care about her. I didn't want to. I didn't need the problems that came along with girls. But as I watched her sprint through the parking lot to the tree line, I couldn't believe that I had finally gotten her to talk to me. And that she was willing to say more.


	6. Chapter V

**Author's Note: Short chapter, sorry; but important for plot purposes. More filler than anything else. Everyone can look forward to tomorrow's chapter. Big things are going to be happening! **

* * *

**Chapter V:****_ Leah Point of View_**

So sparing with him had been a bad idea. Especially when he started running his mouth about shit he knew nothing about. Asshole. Before I'd even known what I was doing, I had my hand around his thick neck. His feet dangled a few inches in above the ground before I threw him down at the mat. His weight banged as he smacked down. "You don't know anything about me. So maybe you shouldn't say shit you don't know anything about," I barked, hopping out of the ring and running outside. "Oh the almighty Jacob Black. Would you like me to bow down and kiss the ground you walk on?"

"Shove the shit, Leah," he said quietly. "What was that all about?"

"None of your business," I spat.

"You don't feel bad about hurting your imprint?" He cocked his eyebrow and narrowed his eyes.

Well now that he had said something about it, I did feel bad about throwing Nate against the ground for something that he probably didn't see coming. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Go in there and apologize; it'll make you feel better."

"I'm not say sorry," I growled.

"I already talked to him," Ryanne said, emerging from the gym. "You're going to cool down before you talk to him. You got it?" I nodded. "Get your ass in the car."

"You're mad at her?" Jake asked. He probably thought she would be taking my side.

"Yes, I'm mad at her. She won't talk to him and the first time she does, she knocks the wind out of him."

"What can I say? I'm amazing."

"You know, when I was yelling out you earlier, I didn't think you would ever throw the guy on his back."

"He shouldn't have-"

"Save it Leah; I'm not dealing with this tonight. Go home, cool off, and maybe thinking about apologizing for turning into a bitch."

So here I was, sitting on my bed, thinking about everything that she had said. I didn't really know how to react anymore. I shouldn't be caring about him. It didn't matter; it was the imprint that was doing this to me. My human side of my brain knew that inviting this guy to talk to me was like inviting a rattlesnake into your bed. My wolf side of my brain, however, was telling me that there was something about this kid that was going to help me get better.

"Leah, there's someone at the door for you," Mom suddenly called. The sun was sinking low in the hazy, rain drenched sky. How long had I been sitting on my bed staring out the window?

I trotted down the stairs, stopping short when I realized that Nathan was standing in our from door. "What are you doing here?" I asked, a little meaner than I meant.

"I came to talk to you," he said quietly.

"You know him, Leah?" Mom asked. I stepped closer to the door on a sigh. My mother probably couldn't believe that there was a boy at our door. There hadn't been a door in a year; not since same.

I nodded. "I've got this, Ma," I promised. Mom nodded, placing a hand on my shoulder as she walked away. "What do you want?" I asked, not willing to let my guard down.

"To talk." No shit Sherlock; that would be why you're standing in my front door. "I shouldn't have said what I said." Was that an apology? Because it was missing a few words. "Maybe we could go get a coffee and talk a little." No; not on my life.

"I have to go to work."

"So you go to the gym all afternoon and work all night? When do you sleep?" Never; not anymore.

"I don't. Will you please leave before my mother decides that you should stay for dinner? I have to work."

"All the more reason to get a coffee." No sir, that was definitely the wrong answer. I wasn't getting a fucking coffee with the kid that had insulted me the way that he had earlier. He didn't know jack shit about me. "Come on, it's not going to hurt anything." Probably true. I mean, he did make the effort to come all the way to my home.

"How did you figure out where I lived?"

"It was on your file," he said, looking down at his feet.

"So you're a stalker now?"

"I just wanted to talk to you. Please come and get coffee with me."

"I don't want to."

"Fine, then can we go on a walk or something?" I wouldn't be far from the Rez; I could get back if anyone needed me. "I just want to talk to you."

I looked down at the arms that were crossed over my boobs and sighed. "Mom, I'll be back in a little while." We walked, he talked, he apologized. He tricked me into getting a coffee. Although, I will admit that I didn't think that he was going to _get_ me a coffee. Especially not my favorite drink. Twenty questions had to be one of the stupidest games I had ever heard of. I mean, I'd played the game before but I still feel like I learned absolutely nothing about the kid. Well, except that he was a Marine and that relationships were a touchy subject. Okay so I learned _something_. And he _had_ put up with me and my being difficult without yelling at me. Sam had always hated when I "didn't use my filter."

I had been just about to ask him another pointless question about siblings when I heard the howl. Leave it to Paul to ruin my date. Not that this was a date. No; this was him apologizing. And this wasn't important at all because I didn't care. "Everything okay?" he asked, his face showing his concern.

"I thought it was my turn," I said, trying to alleviate the worry. He just looked at me. "I have to get going. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon?"

"I'd like that." He stood then, keys in hand. "Let's go."

"I'll walk."

"You shouldn't be walking through the forest alone at night," he said, again with the worried look.

Oh the irony. The things that people should be afraid of were the things that I killed. But what people _thought_ they should be afraid of was me. Yeah, God just enjoyed fucking with my life. "I work in the middle of the forest at a, uh, ranger station not far from here." Because that made complete sense. "I've got to go. We'll talk tomorrow." I waited until I saw him smile to race off towards the forest, fighting the urge to start taking my clothes off as I went. I phased once I was in the dense trees.

There were a lot of things I didn't like about being a wolf. I didn't like that I had to share a head with the Fuck who had broken my heart without hesitation. I didn't like that my father had to die because of what my brother and I had become. I didn't like that my brother had to be just like me in this. I didn't like that my mother was dragged into it. I didn't like that I was the only girl among men, with the exception of the imprints. Oh and I didn't like imprinting.

But I loved being a wolf. I loved running and jumping and leaping and sprinting over the the obstacles in my way. I loved being the fastest, being able to run away from all the problems that were constantly chasing me. Because when I was a wolf, I was able to forget my problems for just a little while. At least until one of the guys started talking.

_Figures you'd be the first to show._ I hated LaHote. Of every member of the Pack, he was the only one I _wanted_ to imprint. I wanted that asshole, man-whore to be forever be tied to one woman. And it wouldn't hurt if she was normal looking, like anti-makeup. And a severely overprotective father than hated Paul wouldn't hurt either.

What do you want, LaHote?

_Leech, heading north_.

I sprinted then, not caring about where everyone was, whether or not someone was going to have my back. No, I ran to kill this thing because one of them had killed my father. And I wanted nothing more than to find every single one of them and rip them to pieces. _Leah, fall back,_ Sam's voice rang in my head. One day I was going to figure out who to get him out of my head. _Fall back, Leah. Wait for the others. _I ignored him. **_Fall back._**

It was like some hand was inside my chest, grabbing my heart and squeezing for all that it had. I slowed, letting everyone catch up with me. I think I was the only one that Sam used his Alpha Orders on. _If you would listen, it wouldn't be only you._

Shut up, Sam!

The leech was easy enough to get rid of. Sam phased back and used his lighter to set everything on fire. He stopped me when all of us were walking up the steps to his house. "Where were you?" he asked.

"I was right there with you, Alpha," I snapped.

"I meant before; you smell differently."

"Where I am is none of your business Sam." I turned to walk away then, my hair shoved back behind my ears.

"Come on, Leah; I care about you."

I wheeled around and stood chest to chest with him, glaring daggers at him. "You lost the right to care about where I am and who I'm with when you chose my cousin, Sam." I walked away, back towards my house with every intention of heading back to the gym. "So if you want to care about someone, go care about your imprint."


	7. Chapter VI

**Author's Note: Okay, a little bit longer than what I would normally like to write, but an explanation for Sam's attitude the last couple of chapters.**

* * *

**Chapter VI:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

Nate and I spared together every day now. And he wasn't all _that_ bad. I mean, he clearly had some problems that I wasn't going to ask about but I wasn't really in a position to talk. Ryanne had recovered from a seizure that her bitch sister had brought on. Leave it to Bella Swan to try fuck up even something as unbreakable as an imprint relationship. Needless to say, Ryanne was a little on edge the next few days. And her anger only got worse as we arrived at the gym each day. "Is she okay?" Nate asked nodding his chin towards Rye. She looked pissed off.

"Her sister kissed her boyfriend," I said. "She's trying not to kill her."

"Why?" Right? Some of us didn't have that self restraint. Some of us had to avoid the cows all together because they were so evil.

"Ryanne's a little too nice for her own good," I replied. "Are you going to hit me or just stand there all day?" I said, tapping the side of his head lightly.

I trying so hard not to hit him hard, but there were little things that he would do that definitely pissed me off and made it a little harder to hold back. He had taught me a few basic kicks, take downs, and blocks. I tried not to use them all that often; they were harder to hold back. And yet, as he lightly tapped my head again, I whipped my leg around in a round kick that sent him sprawling to the ground. Whoops.

I was sitting on top of him, trying to use my elbows like he'd taught me when he rolled us over, my neck feeling like it was going to snap at any moment. And then I was on my back, Nate's knees squeezing my hips. I had my arms up, blocking my face and I was glad for it. I had never blushed into my entire life, not even when I was dating Sam. But damn this kid smelled good. He tapped lightly at my ribs, afraid to hit me too hard. Ha; hurt me. I pulled my hand away from my face and got a good jab in, using my extra strength to roll us over.

God he was perfect. And it didn't matter; it wouldn't because I didn't want this. I didn't want an imprint; I didn't want the heartache. I wanted to be normal Leah Clearwater.

"He doesn't love you!" something screeched.

Ryanne was sitting atop someone, her fists flying. "Frank doesn't want fights in the gym," Nate said, pushing me off of him like I weighed nothing. "We should-"

"Leave it for just a few. That's Ryanne's sister; they're just working things out," I said, pulling him to a stop, my heart quickening as I touched the bare skin of his arms. "Hey, so um, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tomorrow?" His eyebrows flew to his hairline, like he couldn't believe that I was asking him to go somewhere with me. What was I doing? I din't want to be with this guy. I didn't want a relationship. Fucking imprint.

"Sounds like it could be cool," he replied. The wolf side of my brain wanted to howl with joy. And then the smell of blood permeated the air. I sighed.

"Okay, that's enough," I said, jumping the short distance to the ground. "It was about time," I said as I pried Ryanne off of a now bleeding Bella. "Nate, we'll see you tomorrow." He nodded, looking at the place where Bella lay, blood dripping from her nose. I shoved Ryanne in the car, ignoring the glares that she sent my way. "You could've kept her from bleeding," I said. I could've let the fight go on if Bella hadn't started bleeding.

"You could've let me keep going. Jake and my dad probably won't be too happy," she trailed off, as if she just realized what she'd done.

"You're father probably won't be happy, but I doubt that Jacob will actually care." Nah, he'd probably be proud of her. "Frank and Nathan didn't look over joyed," I told her, just trying to warn her.

"Frank has a no fighting rule. We're not supposed to fight with the intention of hurting anyone." I laughed.

"I think he would change that if he knew Bella." I tossed a napkin at her lap, eyes fixed on the road. "She scratched your cheek," I explained. Ryanne just sighed. Poor kid; maybe we should let the next vamp eat her sister. I phased after I dropped her off and ran into the forest.

What'd I miss? I said listening to the shouting in my head.

_Quil imprint on a two-year-old,_ Paul said with a harsh chuckle. _He's gonna be whipped for the next twenty years before he even gets any._

You're a pig.

_You're a bitch._

But I actually _am_ a bitch, I replied, looking down at my wolf form. You couldn't exactly get more literal than this.

_She's just a kid! _Sam screamed. Quil whimpered, his wolf crouching down in submission.

Sam, he can't control it, I said. Everyone stopped and stared at me. I had never really defended imprinting. Okay, I had always kind of put it down and called it worthless shit. I mean, don't you guys always say it's not something that you can control?

_It's not,_ Quil piped up. Sam growled. _It's not like that, Sam; you know that. It won't be like that until she needs that._

_She's two._

Oh my God! He imprinted; it's weird, it's gross. It happened. Now leave the kid alone and let's go run patrols.

Paul nodded behind me moving towards Quil, who he was supposed to be running patrol with. Sam nodded jerkily and the two took off without another word. _What's got you all fucked up?_

You.

I ran from him them, making it back home and phasing out. Mom was waiting on the front porch for me, her phone in her hand. We had talked, a few days before Ryanne had had a seizure. I told her about the imprint, about the fact that I was bound to some guy that I didn't know anything about. "A young man called the house for you today," she said, her eyes alight with joy. She was so happy about this imprint, about the fact that Nate had come by the house and taken me out, about the fact that we went out to the little cafe after we finished working out every day.

"He has a name, Ma," I said to her, marching slowly up the stairs.

"I would know it if you would bring him around more," she countered. "Honestly Leah, you imprinted on the boy. You can't just keep him from us all."

'I know, Ma; I'm going to ask him to the bonfire this weekend," I said.

"Well, good; it's about time. Do you know how difficult it's been not telling Billy Black about you're imprinting?"

"I know, Ma."

"There are so many things we don't know about you."

"I know Ma."

"And you're the only connection we have to female wolves."

"I know, Ma. Hey, I got to go; I told Sam that I'd take patrol," I said, booking it back out the door I had just been walking through. "Bye Ma." Oh how the woman could rant.

* * *

While the rest of the Pack was down at the beach, undoubtedly unpacking the mountain of food that the Cow had made, I was sitting in the quiet little cafe across from Nate, a little sweaty and gross. "Hey, so what are you doing tonight?" I asked as he handed me my coffee.

"Twice in one week, Clearwater? Are you feeling okay?" No. I was sick. I was sick and diseased and ill and I should just roll over and die right now. Because introducing him to the Pack was not something that I wanted to do.

"Jackass," I said. "Do you have plans or not?"

"No, I don't. Why?"

"There's this bonfire down at the Rez tonight, just a whole bunch of kids hanging out. Billy Black will tell the local legends and stuff like that." He was just staring at me. "It's only if you want to," I said, quickly watching my world crumble. This was why I didn't get invested. This was why I didn't want to get involved with this imprint shit. He hadn't even said anything and I felt like there was a knife in my side.

"Sounds fun; what time should I pick you up?" Him, pick me up? It was my family function that I was dragging him too. But I couldn't exactly pick him up. I was lucky that I was able to go to the gym. Thank god it fell underneath tribal jurisdiction.

So I sat nervously on the front porch, waiting for Nate to get to the house. And then his little Jeep pulled up. He got out of the car as I stood up. "You look nice," he said. I didn't; but I wasn't wearing a sports bra and cotton shorts, so I probably looked a little different. "Anyone home?"

"My mom and my brother." I hadn't told him about my dad yet and if he knew, he didn't say anything to me about it.

"Introductions?" he said.

"You'll meet them in a little bit. My mom will be at the bonfire later tonight," I said. He narrowed his eyes. "I promise that you will meet them before the night is over."

"Fine; let's go." He walked back towards his car.

"I mean, around these parts, we try not to kill the forest," I said, pulling him towards the beach. "It's not very far from here."

"I've never been down here," he said in defense of himself.

"You're not really missing much. It's a small everybody-knows-everybody town that thrives on gossip."

"You don't sound bitter or anything."

"I'm not bitter!" I shouted. He bumped me, barely throwing me off balance.

"I believe my aunt's newest word for me is_ jaded_. I'm not in a position to judge, Leah," he said. He didn't move away from his spot mere inches from my arm as we walked down to the beach together. Kim leaned over, whispering to Ryanne who just shrugged. Loyal little kid.

"Hey everyone, this is Nathan. Nathan this is kind of my family," I said, knocking into him.

"You didn't say this was a meeting with your family," he hissed. Why was that such a big deal? They were going to skin him alive anyways. At least this way it'd be public.

"It's not a big deal, Nate," I whispered back. "You know Ryanne." All eyes flew to her; Sam growled. "That's Kim, Emily, and Sam. And the pack of howling monkeys over there is most of my brothers. You'll meet them soon enough." Where was Seth? And Paul? Seth must've gotten the short stick and been stuck with patrol. Poor kid.

"Hey; I'm, uh, I'm Nate Crowe," he stuttered. Oh yeah, he'd face down terrorists but not my family. "Leah didn't mention that this was a barbecue. I don't have anything with me," he said with a pointed glare at me.

"No, no; don't worry about it," Emily said brightly, trying to soothe the situation. Sam was snarling to himself. Ryanne was smiling at Nate. Kim was staring. None of the other guys knew that he was there yet. "We didn't know that Leah was bringing anyone with her. I'll call the boys over." She whistled shrilly, brining the dogs running without hesitation.

"Hey Jake," Nate said, probably a little relieved that he knew _someone_ besides Rye.

"Hey Nate; glad you could make it. You been taking care of my girl down at the gym?" he asked. I rolled my eyes, catching Sam's as I stopped paying attention to Jake and Nate. He was glaring at me, his eyes red hot daggers. Why? What did he care about my life? Hadn't we talked about it? He lost the right to care when he'd picked Emily. "Hey, Nate; let me show you First Cliff. We'll get you off that thing soon enough." Nate looked at me, question in his eyes. I just nodded. He didn't need to ask my permission. I didn't think Jake would try to kill him. Sam, maybe; but not Jake.

"Who the hell is he, Leah?" Sam snarled. "This is a tribal bonfire. This is for the imprints and the Pack."

"That's why he's here," I snapped. Sam's eyes narrowed a little more. "He's my imprint."

"Your what?" Emily looked like she was about to cry. Yeah fuck her. I didn't care what she thought about this.

"My imprint, okay? I imprinted on Nate a few weeks ago. And yes, Sam, that's why I've been going to the gym."

"How could you hide this from us?" Cow said, her face stretched in a wide smile. Naturally, she would be happy. Because if I imprinted, she thought that I would stop hating her for what she did.

"I didn't want this. Okay? I didn't want to imprint, but we all know that it's not something that I can just _fight_. So I figured it was about time to bring him around and let him know what he's stuck with."

"Bonfire's over," Sam whispered. Every stared down at him. "Leah, I think you and I need to have a talk." Really, an Alpha Order on a suggestion? I mean, it was fair enough that he was going to get me to talk to him about this shit. We were standing a good distance away from the group when he spoke. "Are you sure you've imprinted? We don't even know if it's possible."

"We don't know anything about me, Sam. Anything is possible. And yes, I'm sure I've imprinted on him. Ryanne saw it and Jacob confirmed it," I said.

"You talked to Jacob?" he snapped. "You didn't tell me? I'm your Alpha, Leah."

"You didn't need to know. I wanted to fight it, but I can't," I admitted with a shrug. The truth was, I wasn't actually sure if I wanted to fight it anymore.

"You can, Leah; you can make it whatever you want it to be. He just be your friend or your brother. He doesn't have to be something more," Sam said, taking a step closer. I looked down at the sand and narrowed my eyes. "Jake didn't tell you that part, did he? You can make this whatever you want."

"So you wanted Emily?" I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "You just said it; I could fight this. I could make this whatever I wanted to be. And if I can do that, so can you, Sam. You could've fought the imprint; you could've asked Emily to be your friend or your sister. But you didn't. You made your decision Sam. You have a life with someone that you actually love now."

"I love you, Leah," he began.

"No; I don't think you do. I don't think you ever did. Because if you love someone, you don't leave them for their cousins when you have the chance to fight. Even if you knew that this was going to impossible, you could've let us run our course. But you didn't. You left me for her."

"Please, Leah; I still care about you. I don't want you to get hurt."

"It's none of your God damn business! You don't get to care about that shit, Sam. Because you're not saying it as my friend or some bullshit like that. You're saying it like the hurt ex-boyfriend that you are. And you have no right to do that. You left me, remember? I was the one who got broken up with!"

"It wasn't my choice, Lee."

"You just said that it was! You just said that I had the choice in the imprint. You just said that I could make this whatever I wanted it to be. You had that same fucking choice, Uley. And you made your decision."

"Please Leah," he began, but I wasn't in the mood to hear it. I walked away, leaving him standing behind me. I stared out over the ocean, wishing I could dive right in and let it swallow me whole. But I couldn't. I couldn't leave my mom and Seth to do things on their own. They had already lost so much.

"You know, I've never been this close to an ocean?" My anger began to subside just at the sound of his voice. Fuck my life, man; I didn't want anything from this stupid imprint.

"Where the hell are you from that there's no beaches around?" I snapped.

"Montana," he replied. "I lived there most of my life and then I was stationed in the desert." He'd never really been this open about shit before.

"Montana, huh?"

"Crow Reservation." Right; he was Native too. "I know that you're probably going to kick my ass, but, you okay?"

"I'm fine," I said curtly.

"People who are fine usually don't stare at things they can't control," he said. I looked up at him, startled. "What?"

"Where'd you learn that?"

"My dad used to say it," he said, his voice a little sad. "Why?"

"Mine did too. He, uh, he died a few weeks back."

"You didn't say anything."

"I didn't know you."

"I asked if your parents were divorced."

"They're not," I whispered.

"That's the problem with yes or no responses."

"No necessarily. When it's all black and white, there's nothing you fuck up," I replied. I sighed and stared out at the water again. "I'm really sorry that you've had to deal with all this."

"They're not that bad, you know. Jake's nice and Ryanne's been helping me out. Emily seems a little bit like eating powdered sugar, but she's fine. Kim's kind of quiet. Your brothers are insane," he said. I smiled; he pretty got us all pegged. "See, I get all of them. What I don't get are you and, uh, Sam?" he said, questioning his memory.

"That's a long story. Come on," I said, pulling him towards the fire. "Billy's here to tell the legends."

"Why don't we take a walk? You can show me around the Rez," he suggested.

"Don't you want to hear the legends?"  
"I mean, there will be other bonfires, right?" So he was planning on sticking around. "Let's get out of here," he said, closing his hand around me. I gasped at the contact, but followed him without another word.

Sam snarled at me as we walked by, but I wasn't going to put my imprint through this shit. No matter how much I didn't want him, he was still my imprint. So I growled back, warning Sam to back off. Because he had no one to blame for this but himself.


	8. Chapter VII

**Author's Note: Okay, just a few things here. I'm getting into a cycle right now (I have three different stories that I update daily). The way that it's looking right now, this story will have chapters up everyday between 10 a.m. and noon during the week. Weekend hours will shift two hours later (so from noon to 2 p.m.) as I have work and sleep to catch up on over the weekend. If, for some reason, I won't be able to upload another chapter that day, I will be sure to let you know the day before. I realize that not many people do daily updates, but I really enjoy writing and I don't understand how you can just leave people hanging for weeks at a time. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter VII:****_ Nathan's Point of View_**

I was pacing in front of the office door without a shirt on wondering what I should wear. This was stupid. It was just a bonfire. Jeans and a nicer look t-shirt would be just fine. So then why was I calling her house phone? "Clearwater residence. May I ask who's speaking?" her mother called politely over the receiver.

"Hello, Mrs. Clearwater, is Leah home?"

"No, son, she's not. Did you want me to leave her a message?"

"No, ma'am. Thank you anyways," I replied.

"Take care," she said before the line disconnected. It was just a bonfire… What did people do at bonfires? They probably sat around and drank. But then again, Leah had said something about elders telling legends. At home, at least, no one drank in front of the elders. I pulled an olive green shirt over my head, looking down at my feet. This thing was on a beach, right? So sandals. I would probably take them off anyways. Sand that didn't burn the shit out of your feet was something that I was dying to feel.

Leah was sitting on the top step of her porch. Her lacy cream tank top looked great against her skin. I was kicking myself for not realizing just _how_ beautiful she was. Not that it mattered. Neither one of us wanted this. I pulled the Jeep into park and got up, trying not to stare at her mile long legs that were clad in the shortest denim shorts propriety would allow. No immodest, just a little more skin than her workout shorts. "You look nice," I said. She shrugged. Didn't she realize what she looked like? I mean, girls spend more time o their appearance to look nice. She should know that she looked nice. Allie would always ask me how she looked and keep digging until I gave her what she wanted. I wasn't doing that shit again. "Anyone home?" I asked as she walked towards me.

"My mom and my brother." I started towards the front door.

"Introductions?" I asked when she looked at me like I was retarded.

"You'll meet them in a little bit. My mom will be at the bonfire later tonight." My mother would kill me if I didn't meet her parents at some point. I was raised better than that. "I promise that you will meet them before the night is over."

"Fine, let's go."

The walk was short, filled with Leah and mine's brand of cruelty. She was a bitch and I was a jackass and we made each other smile by insulting each other. Because that's not fucked up or anything. And then, suddenly, I was surrounded by warmth and there were unfamiliar faces staring up at me.

"Hey everyone, this is Nathan. Nathan this is kind of my family," she said, bumping into me. What the hell was she talking about? I didn't know this was an introduction to her family. I didn't have anything to give anyone, I didn't know anything about them. Leave it to Leah to be a bitch and not tell me this.

"You didn't say this was a meeting with your family," I whispered. The only guy sitting by the fire looked a little amused.

"It's not a big deal, Nate. You know Ryanne." The guy snapped his head in the squirt's direction and snarled a little. "That's Kim," she said, pointing to the shy little thing next to Ryanne, "Emily," she indicated a girl with a horrendous scar on her face, but I had seen worse. Hell, I had some that were worse, "and Sam. And the pack of howling monkeys over there are most of my brothers. You'll meet them soon enough." Great; she had a lot of brothers. I had never done this before. Allie was next door neighbor. There was nothing to worry about with her family. Her mom had changed my diapers.

"Hey; I'm, uh, I'm Nate Crowe. Leah didn't mention that this was a barbecue. I don't have anything with me."

"No, no; don't worry about it," Emily, I think he name was, said. Her voice sounded like the icing on a cinnamon rolls, super sweet and smooth. "We didn't know that Leah was bringing anyone with her. I'll call the boys over." Great, so I wasn't the only one surprised. Nice going Leah. All her brothers and Jacob ran over. I had met the giant a few times. He was a good kid. I liked him.

And I would have to thank him for saving my ass. He pulled me away from the rest of the group while Leah hopefully smoothed things over. "Sam has decided that the, uh, bonfire is over," Ryanne said as we started back. Okay, maybe not as smooth as I'd hoped.

"It's not over guys. Annie, can you do me a favor and go help my dad out of the car? He's with Sue and you know they'll try to do it alone. Take one of the guys with you?" Ryanne nodded and jogged back to the fire. Leah screamed in exasperation and stormed off. I had never seen her act like such a girl. Normally she was so hard to read, but it was easy to see that she was upset about something. "You might want to go check on her."

"You know she doesn't like me all that much. Especially when she's angry," I said. It wasn't hard to admit that. Even if we did hang out almost every day, she wasn't very open.

"Don't worry about her this time. She'll want to talk to you more that she wants to talk to any of us," Jake said. Yeah right. "Just give her a shot?" Clearly he wasn't going to drop this, so I nodded and walked over to where Leah stood, her hair being whipped around her face. She didn't seem to care. Or to see anything really.

"You know, I've never been this close to an ocean," I commented one I was sure she could hear me over the ocean waves. Her shoulders slumped a little.

"Where the hell are you from that there's no beaches around?" she barked.

"Montana. I lived there most of my life and then I was stationed in the desert." She looked a little surprise that she was hearing about this.

"Montana, huh?"

"Crow Reservation. I know that you're probably going to kick my ass, but, you okay?" I asked. I had seen Leah pissed off, angry, and even a little happy. But I had never seen Leah upset. I had never seen her like this. And, to be honest, I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

"I'm fine."

"People who are fine usually don't stare at things they can't control," I quoted. Her eyes snapped up to mine, tears that she would never let fall shining in the moonlight. "What?"

"Where'd you learn that?"

"My dad used to say it. Why?"

"Mine did too. He," she cleared her throat, "he died a few weeks back."

How had she kept this to herself for so long? Why hadn't she told me? I guess that didn't matter. Grief was a personal thing. Who knows what was going through her head? I sure as hell didn't. I didn't care, either. Because she had said it now. And I was fighting the urge to hug her and hold her tight. I knew what this pain felt like. No one should have to feel it. So I calmed her worries and then decided that we should leave. "Why don't we take a walk? You can show me around the Rez," I said.

"Don't you want to hear the legends?" If they were so important, she cold tell me them herself.

"I mean, there will be other bonfires right?" She nodded. "Let's get out here," I said, closing my hand around hers and trying to ignore the feels that came with it. This felt warm and safe and right and everything that anyone could ever imagine. But this didn't mean anything. Neither one of us wanted it to mean anything. Sam didn't look at all happy that we were leaving, but he didn't say anything.

Leah made no movement to pull away from me. I was smiling to myself until I remembered that this didn't mean anything. I was just being a good friend and comforting her. "How'd your dad pass?" I asked when we were buried in the dense forest.

"Heart attack. I guess that's what happens when you eat more read meat than the fish you catch," she said bitterly.

"So now it's just you, your mom, and all your brothers?" She smiled a little.

"I only have one brother," she said. "Seth."

"But at the bonfire-"

"They're a little too complicated to explain," she interrupted. "But the guys and I are really close and they consider themselves my brothers." I could get that. We had a few female marines that I would guard like my own blood. "You got any siblings?"

None that mattered. "The only ones that are important are my brothers and sisters in the Corps," I said instead of revealing just how angry and resentful I was. If she caught on that something was wrong, she didn't say anything.

"What made you join?" she asked curiously, stepping a little closer to me to avoid a tree root I hadn't seen.

"My dad was a Marine. I wanted to be just like him; he was a great guy," I said with a shrug.

"Was?"

"Yeah; my dad died a few years back. I enlisted the day after his funeral."

"How?"

"How do you enlist?"

"Come on, Nate; don't be a complete jackass," she said, bumping into my arm.

"He was in a store down the road a little ways, just trying to buy wine for my mom. Guy came in with a gun, asking for the money. The people that were there said he saved these little kids that were waiting for their mom," I said, the memories flooding back to me. "Gunman shot him. They thought that they could save him, but the bullet caused internal bleeding."

She didn't say anything for a while. And then she pulled me to a stop and looked me in the eye. "I'm sorry that happened," she whispered. My lips tweaked a little. "Thanks for telling me."

"Anytime; you can ask me anything you'd like, Leah." She just nodded and we kept walking. We ended up back on the beach, but most everyone was asleep now. "I should probably get home. My aunt and uncle will be waiting up."

"I'm sorry that the night was such a disaster," she said, looking down at the sand.

"It wasn't, Leah. I got to talk to you, I got to meet your friends. I still have to meet your mom," I pointed out. Leah pointed to the woman that I had seen in the house so many days earlier. She was curled up with a peaceful expression, sleeping against a log. "Do you need help getting her home?"

Leah just laughed. "Seth!" she shouted suddenly. A kid who was just as tall as me, but clearly younger and stringy ran out from the forest. "Nate, this is my _actual_ brother, Seth. Seth, this is Nate." The kid clasped my hand tightly.

"Nice to meet you," he said with a happy grin on his face.

"You too," I replied, a little confused. He looked just like Leah, but he lacked her anger.

"Seth, Ma fell asleep. You get her home?" He nodded and saluted his sister before running over to his mother.

"See you around Nate," he called, lifting his mother in his arms.

"He's, uh-"

"Bouncy? I know. What are you gonna do?" she laughed. "So, um, my mom does this thing; it's kind of a have a big dinner on Sundays with the Blacks, Ryanne and her Dad. Maybe you want to come around. I mean, I did promise you that you could meet my mom." I smiled at her.

"I'd like that; I'll be at your place at," I left it hanging.

"We leave for the Blacks at around 5:30, so-"

"I'll be here at five," I said, walking up to the front door with her. "Good night, Leah," I said, stooping low enough to kiss her cheek.

I was afraid that if I stood there too long, she might kill me. So I turned and ran at a polite speed to my Jeep, jumping in and pulling out without a backwards glance. At least I had a warning of what was to come tomorrow now. Not that impressing them mattered anyways. Right; none of this actually mattered.


	9. Chapter VIII

**Author's Note: Due to testing tomorrow, updates for stories may be a little later than normal. That does not mean that there won't be updates. They just might not be on schedule.  
Also, due to the comments that I received about Nathan's point of view, I will be making his the primary point of view, meaning if you don't see a POV indicated, then it is Nate's. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter VIII**

"Why don't you bring a bottle of wine from the cellar?" Jeanie suggested. "Or some flowers?"

"This isn't a date, Aunt Jeanie. This is just dinner with her friends," I said, pulling my cream colored shirt over my head.

"Her mother and uncles are going," Jeanie said as if this made everything different.

"They're not her uncles; they're her mom's friends," I said.

"Oh same difference," she said with wave of her hands. "Is _that_ what you're wearing?" she asked then.

"What's wrong with this?" I said, looking over myself to make sure that I didn't have any stains of anything. "Never mind, Aunt Jeanie. This is just a casual dinner. Nothing fancy."

"Nate, all I'm saying is that the girl obviously likes you."

"No, she doesn't. Trust me."

"Nate you came here for a new start, right?" I nodded. "Maybe that's what she needs, too. And she could help you with everything that happened with-"

"I have to go; I promised Leah I'd be there at four," I said, grabbing the keys off the table before she could say another word about my family in Montana. I pulled out my phone and texted her, apologizing multiple times.

"It's four fifteen; you're late!" Jeanie screeched. I just jumped into the car. _Yeah, you can come whenever. Just be prepared for the wrath of my mother._ I laughed. The two times that I had talked to Mrs. Clearwater, I had found her to be similar to my own mother. I would have to save up and see her again soon.

The road to La Push was straight and narrow, a dead shot to the little Native American Reservation. I stopped off at the little store that was still in Forks, grabbing a bottle of wine and some flowers. Never show up anywhere empty handed; that was one thing my mother drilled into my head. I had never been this nervous to meet someone in my entire life. And it made no sense why. Leah was just a friend that was being nice enough to invite to her family's Sunday dinner.

I knocked on the front door, but almost stopped breathing when Leah opened the door. Her hair had been a little short bob thing, falling on her cheeks and in her face. But it was gone. It no longer hung around her face, but was razored short to her head. The front of it was a little longer and swiped across her forehead in gentle layers, bringing out the different shades in her hair that I had never noticed before. Her eyes were a little brighter than usual, a small smile playing at her rusty lips. "When'd you do this?" I asked, ruffling her hair just a little.

"This afternoon," she said, ducking from underneath my hand and tapping my ribs with her fist.

"Getting all gussied up for me?"

"One: no one says 'gussied' anymore," she said, stepping back so I could step in. "And two: no." I laughed and handed her my things. "Wine and flowers? Sounds like the start of a bad joke."

"What jokes do you listen to?" I laughed. "They're for your mother."

"Oh Lord, she's never going to let you leave," she promised, wrapping her hand around mine and towing me towards the living room. "I'm warning you now, this is going to be painful," she whispered.

"Don't worry," I said, even though I wanted to run now. "Mrs. Clearwater," I said as I saw her sitting on the couch. "It's nice to meet you ma'am," I added, handing her the wine and lilies.

"Thank you," she said in surprise. "Leah, could you put these in water?" she asked handing her daughter the flowers. "Now, Nathan, Leah tells me that you were in the Marine Corps?" she asked.

"Yes ma'am, stationed in Iraq," I said outright.

"And you only came back because you finished your tour?"

"Yes ma'am." She just nodded. Seth came fumbling down the stairs then.

"Are we leaving soon? I'm hungry," he informed us all. "Oh hey, Nate." He nodded at me like he'd known me his entire life. "Hope you like good food; Ryanne can give those French chefs a run for their money," he said with a grin. "You're not a vegetarian or anything, are you?" he asked, whispering the word _vegetarian_ like it was the word _drug_ _dealer_. I just shook my head. "Good, because Ryanne doesn't exactly make that kind of food."

An awkward silence fell over us then as Seth finally fell silent and Mrs. Clearwater just kept staring at me. Leah was still in the kitchen, doing something with the flowers. How hard was it to put them in water. "Do you go to school, Nate?" Mrs. Clearwater asked.

"No ma'am; I dropped out when I enlisted," I admitted.

"Any desire to go back?"

"Yes ma'am; I would love to go back. I'm just trying to get on my feet out here." Leah walked back into the room then.

I hadn't noticed the way that her hips swung when she walked, her denim capris clinging to her legs as she did so. She pulled her strapless shirt up a little higher over her chest, the Hawaiian blue contrasting with her skin. And her skin looked so smooth and soft, I just wanted to trace the line of her collar bone. No I didn't. I didn't want that to happen because that was not what Leah and I were. Leah and I weren't even a _Leah and I_. She sat beside me, crossing her legs over each other and her arms over her chest. "Leave him alone, Ma. You know he's only going to get grilled by Charlie and Billy tonight," she said. "Seth, don't you have homework or something?" she snapped.

Seth growled and lunged at her, but Leah slid a little closer to me, her thigh pressed tight against mine as she avoided her brother. The couch shuddered as the kid hit it, groaning a little. He grabbed at his sister's ankle, but she only kicked him in the face. "Honestly, you two," Mrs. Clearwater said. "You would think I raised pigs or something."

"More like wolves," Seth grunted as Leah shoved him off her.

"Okay, that's enough. You two will not break this couch!" Both of them sat up straight; I couldn't help but sit up a little too. I hated that tone of voice. My own mother had perfected it years ago. Ad it was that voice the was the kind of warning to whatever punishment my father would dish out to me. "Seth, take the dishes outside and get washing." The kid in question stood and walked out the door.

"How old is he?" I whispered, watching his gangly form duck out the back door.

"He's almost fifteen. Just hitting a growth spurt," Leah replied.

"And when is he doing dishes outside?"

"Our sink hasn't been working the last few days," she replied. "So Seth does the dishes in a bucket outside."

"Seth does them, huh?" I said with a laugh. "You never do them?"

"Not unless he wants me to tell my mother some fun facts that I know," she said with a devilish grin that I couldn't have found more adorable. Why couldn't she be like this all the time? Why did this Leah have to turn into the angry girl that I spared with at the gym? Because this Leah, laughing and smiling and teasing and joking; she was beautiful, breathtaking. "I hope you like chicken parmesan," she said suddenly. "It's my favorite thing that Rye makes and since tonight is all about you, she's making it."

"I'll eat anything," I promised her. "But Italian food is my favorite," I added with a smile. "Hey, um, is this really going to be like the Spanish Inquisition?"

"Hopefully a little less bloody and painful, but no guarantees," she replied, looking over at her mother, who was rearranging the flowers that Leah had already put in a vase. Who knew you had to cut the end of flowers off? I sure as hell didn't. "You scared Marine?" Her eyes were glinting with maniacal glee.

"You wish, Clearwater," I said, tapping her shoulder with a light fist. "Are you going to prepare me for this little dinner thing or am I just flying blind?"

Mrs. Clearwater was still fussing in the dining room. Leah looked over at her mother before smiling a little wider. "I mean, you've been doing pretty well this far," she said, licking her lips.

"Are you enjoying this, Miss Clearwater?" I asked.

"You know it, Marine," she laughed.

"Billy just called," Mrs. Clearwater said. "Ryanne's cooking up a storm whenever we want to head over there." Leah stood and walked with me to the door. Seth and Mrs. Clearwater were slowly walking behind us.

"It's pretty out here," I said, looking at the spring sun glinting against the green of the forest.

"It's La Push," she said. "Green and wet all year round. Unless it's snowing."

"You seem like you're in a better mood," I commented, looking at her lips spread over her white teeth. "Have a nice day or something?"

"I hung out with my mom most of the day," she said. "We haven't really had a day like in a few years."

"So a girls day?"

"Not really; a girls' day is what you have with your friends. This was like a mother-daughter day," she explained.

Sue called a greeting from behind us as Leah opened the door. The house smelled amazing. Jake and another man I'd never met stood and shook my hands. "Nate, this is Charlie, Ryanne's Dad. And I don't know if you met my father, but this is my father Billy." Ryanne came out and greeted me before disappearing into the kitchen again.

"So, Nathan, right?"

"Nate, sir," I corrected as politely as possible.

"What brought you to our end of the Olympic Peninsula?" Charlie asked as we all settled on the couch.

Let the Inquisition begin.


	10. Chapter IX

**Author's Note: Okay, everyone; here's today's chapter. I know that it's late and I'm really sorry, but I had work and stuff that I had to get done. Anyways, enjoy!**

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**Chapter IX**

"So what are your goals in life?" Ryanne said with a smile. Something loud crashed underneath the table and Jake snarled a little. "What? We're just doing the normal-"

"Don't say it Ryanne," Leah warned. The younger girl fell silent. They certainly were an interesting group. In between inhaling their food like I had never seen before, Jake and Seth joined the conversation and teased each other. No one seemed to notice that they had mountains of food on their plates. At the very least, I would never have to worry about eating too much. It was always a concern when I went out with Allie. If I ordered more than two burgers after a workout or something, she would give me this look. But clearly that wasn't an issue in this house.

Everyone had hefty stacks of food on their plates. "Seriously, Nate," Charlie said between mouthfuls of food. "What brought you to our neck of the woods?"

"My aunt and uncle own a gym in Forks and I needed a change of scenery, sir," I said simply. "I work and train at the gym, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent."

"Kid like you would do good as a cop," Charlie replied, looking down at his plate. Wasn't a bad idea. I had basically been a cop before. Granted, the stakes were a little higher in Iraq than they would be in this quiet little town, but it would be better than bumming a job from Frank and Jeanie.

"You're the nephew Jeanie's been going on about?" Sue asked then.

"Yes ma'am."

"Jeanie and I are in the same book club. She made you sound like you were six." That'd be Jeanie for you. "She's never even mentioned that you were a Marine."

I just shrugged and looked over at Leah, who was staring down at her plate worriedly. What did she think was going to happen? I couldn't spontaneously combust or anything; at least, I didn't know that I could. I tapped her thigh with my knuckle under the table, grabbing her attention. I jerked my chin at her, trying to ask her what's wrong. She just shook hers back at me.

The real grilling started when Ryanne came out with homemade ice cream sandwiches. She slapped at Jake, punching him with bruising force when he attempted to take a bite of hers. I was asked about schooling, the Corps, my home life, my dreams, what I wanted, if I ever planned on going back to Montana, what it was like growing up on a Reservation. That last one was my personal favorite since they had all done the same thing. Well, maybe not Charlie. But the rest of them were raised here. It was interesting that they were so welcoming to Ryanne and her father. My tribe didn't allow the pale faces on our land. At all. But there was a lot of ad blood between us and the neighboring towns.

Leah and I helped Jake and Ryanne clear the table. I was still reeling. It wasn't that their questions were hard or anything, but I was from a small town and people knew my life. Like Leah had said: our towns thrived on gossip. I wasn't used to having to tell people about myself. In the Corps, we got to know each other through the letters that came through the mail, the packages and pictures we got, and the jokes that we all told each other to get through the day.

Ryanne shooed Jake out of the kitchen, something about him startling her when she had plates in her hands. So I took his place. She'd made the meal; she shouldn't have to be the only one cleaning up. "You did good," she said, handing me a plate to dry.

"What do you mean?"

"We're a hard group to be around. We're always joking, throwing something, yelling at each other. You did good. And you answered their questions without hesitating, that's a good sign to them. It means you're a good man," she explained.

"Do you have any other advice, guru?" I joked,

"Don't piss off Jake," she said with a laugh. "No, seriously; you did well. I wouldn't be surprised if Sue invites you back for next week."

We fell silent then, both of us absorbed in our own little thoughts. It was nice to be in a home again. Frank and Jeanie allowed me in their little house whenever I wanted, but I hadn't had a bedroom since before I'd left for Iraq. And their house wasn't like this. Frank and Jeanie were warm and kind, but Jeanie's addiction to stainless steel and monochrome made their house a little intimidating. But the Blacks' house was like Leah's; it was a lot of browns and blues and reds, colors that accented each other and looked earthy and welcoming.

"I don't think I've ever thanked you for what you did, Rye," I began slowly. "You know, in getting her to spar with me."

"She would've gotten around to it eventually," I promised him. I just grunted in response.

I liked this house, this tribe, this feeling of family that I hadn't had with someone that wan't in the Corps and fighting alongside me in three years. It was nice. And at the same time, I could feel heart developing a mind of its own, pulling me back to where I knew Leah was. But I didn't want this; I didn't want something more. I didn't want there to be an _us._ That was how people ended up hurt. "Thanks for helping, Nate," Ryanne said. "But I think Leah's getting a little impatient." I looked down at her. "Get going. Jake will come in here and help me out."

As if he'd heard her, the kid appeared, taking the drying towel from my hand and nodding towards the opening where Leah was leaning. "You want to take a walk?" I asked. She nodded, turning towards the front door. "Thank you for inviting me to your home, sir," I said, shaking Billy's hand firmly. "And for the meal and company," I said to the rest of the group.

"It was no problem," Billy assured me. "Don't be a stranger."

Leah and I walked out then, down the steps and into the darkness of the forest. "Thanks for inviting me. Aunt Jeanie isn't really the best cook the world has ever seen," I said. "It was good to have a home cooked meal." She didn't say anything. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong or should we play twenty questions?" I asked.

"I'm really sorry that they were all over you like that. I told everyone to be nice and I really thought that they would listen to me. I don't know why. I mean, I told them that they were supposed to lay off of the hard stuff-"

"Leah," I said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Leah," I repeated when she didn't stop rambling. "Hey," I shook her shoulders a little. She looked up at me. "You're not the only one who has a family, Leah. They were just fine," I laughed.

"But they weren't. They over reacted about everything," she grumbled.

"You're the one overreacting, Leah. They were fine. Come on," I said, pulling her along. She was still grumbling about their ridiculousness, but followed me nonetheless.

"Turn left," she said after about three hundred feet, her hand on my wrist and pulling me along. "Just follow me," she said exasperated.

"Where are we going?" I asked, trailing after her. The trees started to thin out and the smell of sea salt became stronger.

"Right here," she said, pulling me to the edge of the cliff. She plopped herself down, swinging her legs over the edge. We were some fifteen feet in the air, higher than I would ever be comfortable jumping. "You afraid of heights, Marine?" she taunted.

I joined her, the dampness of the grass seeping through my jeans. "What's so special about this place?" I asked. I could see it in her eyes. This wasn't just some scenic stop on her little tour of the Rez. This was some place that was important to her. And no matter how much I tried to tell myself that I didn't care about her in that way, I couldn't stop myself from caring.

"There's a lot of memories here," she whispered, pulling her knees up to her chin and resting herself on them. I leaned over and rustled her hair, relishing in the silkiness underneath my fingers.

"Good memories?"

"Some of them," she replied, tossing her head to the side and out of my reach. "Some of them suck, but I have to remember them."

This was the most vulnerable I'd seen her, the most open. I was afraid to say anything, afraid that she would shrink back behind the walls that she built up. "They remind me that I can do things I never thought I could," she whispered. I wasn't sure what to say, so I just bumped into her arm. "Sorry; I have a habit of ruining our nights." I just shrugged. "We should get back to the house. My mom will get suspicious."

I stood along with her, walking a few feet in front of her. She let out a squeal as we descended the hill and then something rock hard smashed into me. I felt her hot arms wrap around my neck as I twisted. We rolled together until everything came to an end with a bang. We weren't laughing anymore. There was no ocean waves crashing down. There were spots in my vision and ringing in my ears. But there was no laughter.

"You okay?" she asked breathlessly, her hands running over my face. "You hit that tree pretty hard. God I'm so fucking stupid; I didn't mean for that to happen. I shouldn't have fucking slipped. God damn it! Nate, are you okay?"

I couldn't focus on what she was saying. Her hands had never been this gentle against my skin before. She ran her hands through my hair and the base of my neck. I knew she was checking for injuries, but she was leaving a trail of fire everywhere she touched. "Nate, can you hear me? Fuck; why can't I be good at this shit? This is why I didn't want this to happen."

She was growling, her arms shaking, every molecule of her being shaking, making her already blurry form a little worse. "Nate, please tell me you're okay," she snarled, more animalistic than human. I couldn't bring myself to answer. So I just trapped her hand against my cheek by putting mine over it.

Her eyes flashed down to me and I stopped thinking. I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers.


	11. Chapter X

**Author's Note: Thanks for the support everyone! I really appreciate it. I apologize again that yesterday's chapter was so late ****_and_**** that I left you all kind of hanging. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

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**Chapter X**

I didn't realize what I was doing right away. What guy would? I was kissing a girl who was beyond beautiful, stronger than anyone that I had ever met, and a spitfire in my arms. I don't Leah realized what was happening either. She pressed against my chest until I was lying in the wet grass next to this damn tree. Her knees were on either side of my hips, her hands on my shoulders. I buried my hands in her hair, feeling the newly clipped strands tickling my fingers.

She kissed me back, which I hadn't been expecting. Her hands squeezed my deltoids, grasping at me for more. I went a little farther than I would normally, slipping my tongue along her lower lip until she opened her mouth. It was electric, the hot feeling of her mouth on mine. She slid her tongue into my mouth, which was something Allie would never do. Her knees tightened a little around my hips as she rose up to kiss me deeper.

I never wanted this to end. Where had she been hiding my entire life? How had I been convincing my self for so many weeks that I didn't want this? What had I been missing out on? God; I had to be the dumbest fuck that had ever walked the planet. Her hands slipped down my shoulders, her nails lightly scratching at my neck. She moaned into my mouth and I growled a little in return.

And then she was gone.

She was standing about six feet away from me, having moved quicker than I was able to see. It must've just been the fog of her still hanging over me. "I'm sorry," I managed to say, pushing myself up. Leah was biting her lip, her hands in her hair, gripping it tightly. "I shouldn't have done that."

"No, no, no," she groaned, pacing the ground. "No, this isn't supposed to happen."

"Leah, really, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do something that you didn't want," I said, pushing myself to my feet, but staying away from her. What had I done? Damn it. Fuck. I shouldn't have pushed her. I don't even know why I did it. But now that I had, I couldn't bring myself to be sorry for it. I was sorry for pushing her where she didn't want to go, but that had been incredible.

"That's the problem; I did want it," she muttered. She shook her head, the little pieces of bangs on her forehead suspended in air as she whipped her head back and forth. "I don't want this. I don't want any part of this."

"Leah, why don't you let me take you home?" I suggested, my heart sinking.

"I shouldn't want this," she whispered. "I don't deserve this," I heard then. She didn't deserve what?

"You don't deserve to be kissed, Leah?" I whispered.

She shook her head, but I wasn't sure whether she was confirming my words or telling me that I was wrong yet again. "Do you want to go home?" She was just shaking her head again and again. "What do you want from me, Leah?" I asked, but I wasn't asking her. I wanted to figure out what was going on in my head. For the past few months, I had watched her and gotten to know her.

I had figured out that someone, who I strongly suspected was the guy Sam that I'd met at the bonfire, had hurt her before. I had figured out that she was afraid of something or someone.I had figured out that she was broken, shattered into a million pieces. And now I was learning that she didn't think she deserved happiness. Who had fucked up this girl? How could they take someone so beautiful, so perfect, and fuck her up as much as they had? I didn't know what Leah wanted from me and even worse, I didn't know what I wanted from her anymore.

"I don't want anything from you," she whispered. "Not if you don't want anything," she added. "This isn't supposed to happen to me. This can't happen to me. I don't-"

I couldn't listen to her sit there and tell me that she didn't want to feel happy. I pulled her against my chest, holding her tight as she fought weakly against my hold. I had spared with her and received the brunt of her blows before. I knew she wasn't even trying. Finally, she rested her head against my chest. I could feel her trembling, but I didn't say anything. I was afraid to lose this girl. Leah was great either way, but this side of her, the side that actually showed that she had emotions was amazing.

Her hands fisted themselves in my shirt while I hummed a few songs, my hand absently stroking her back. "No matter what you believe, Leah, you deserve to be kissed and loved," I said, trying to ignore the little side of my brain that was telling me that was my job. "And I wanted to kiss you." And I wanted to do it again. She was shaking against me, trembling like she was freezing, but her skin was so hot against mine. "Why don't we get you back home?"

I kept my arm around her shoulders as I steered her towards the path that we had just come up. She didn't say anything, just kept shaking and muttering to herself. I stopped at the stairs of the house, unsure if Leah wanted me to come inside or anything like that. Why I couldn't I like a girl without problems? Oh, right, because then she wouldn't understand how fucked I was. "Leah, you want to go inside now?" I asked, pushing her towards the door.

She looked up at me with sad eyes. And the sad thing was, I would take that expression over her anger any day of the week. She shook her head and moved towards porch swing, pulling me down beside her. "There are a lot of things that I need to tell you," she whispered. "I want you to know what I am before you get stuck with anything." I frowned, confused by what she was saying. "But I-"

"Not tonight, Leah," I cut in. I could see that she unsure about revealing whatever this was to me. "Not tonight. You're tired and upset, Leah. I don't want you to feel like you have to do this." She sniffed and nodded. "I have to go home," I said. Again she was nodding. "I must be pretty good at kissing to leave you speechless."

As I'd hoped, she slapped me right upside the head with a little growl. "I'll see you at the gym tomorrow?" She nodded. I stood and leaned over, kissing her cheek, lingering a little longer. The gesture seemed so much more intimate, which was ironic considering our brief make-out in the woods. "I'll see you tomorrow."

As I'd hoped, Aunt Jeanie was sitting in the living room of her and Uncle Frank's little two bedroom house. I sank down on the couch next to her and sighed. "So things didn't go so well?" she asked. I popped up. What had I been thinking? Jeanie was too emotional. There was too much estrogen for this conversation. I pushed my way into the gym without saying as much as a greeting to my aunt.

I found the rope and jumped up, assuming the position. I was a glutton for punishment. This was the only exercise that still hurt and was, therefore, the one that I did the most. It stung and pulled, the tensions on my muscles making it a little harder to breathe than I would like. "Jean said I might find you out here," Frank's voice rumbled through the empty gym. He flipped a switch, turning on lights that I had kept off because I was too angry to think straight. "Point your toes." That's Frank for you, not one to talk. "Your legs will cramp up if you don't."

I started the descent. "Have a nice night?"

"She's a seriously fucked up girl," I grunted.

"And you're a seriously fucked up guy."

"What's the supposed to mean?" I growled, my sides burning.

"I'm just making conversation."

"You suck at it," I replied.

"If she's as messed up as you say she is and you're as fucked up as I know you are, one of you is going to have to break first," he said with a shrug. I dropped the last ten feet to the ground and turned to stare at him. "And I know your father didn't raise a bitch."

"Meaning?" I said breathlessly, wishing I could just take my shirt off. But I wouldn't; not in front of someone. They would see what I had lost out there and that wasn't fine by me.

"Grow a pair of balls," he said simply. "The girl's hurting and you are ignoring it to focus on your own hurt." I opened my mouth but Frank rushed forward. "Sure, you say something nice, make sure she knows that you're not going to rush her, but at the end of the night, you're acting like a scared little bitch. Be a man, take charge, get over yourself, and figure out what you can do to help her." I glared at him, jumping up onto the rope again.

"Maybe it'll help you too," he said, shutting off the lights and walking out.


	12. Chapter XI

**Author's Note: I'm so glad to see all the new followers and people joining my little trio of drama. I really appreciate it and I LOVE the reviews. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XI:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

As the people that I thought of as my family began their interrogation, I just stared down at the plate of delicious food in front of me and tried to ignore them. What was I thinking, bringing Nate down here? I mean, that implies that we're something that we're not. Because I didn't want to be anything. Nate was not the guy for me. The spirits were wrong. They had to be. He wasn't Quileute, he wasn't a pale face. He didn't know our legends. And he was irritatingly bi-polar. He was so open, willing to talk about most everything. Unless I mentioned girlfriends, siblings, or family. He just wouldn't talk about it.

Nate stayed in the kitchen with Ryanne after she'd kicked Jake out. I was pacing outside in the hallway, trying not to yell at everyone for being jackasses. After everyone found out that I had imprinted, everyone got on my case about bringing him around. And here I was, bringing him down to the Rez for a family dinner and they were harassing the kid. "You know, you didn't need to kick Ryanne under the table," Jake said behind me.

"She was going to say it," I said with a shrug.

"He's doing fine," he said quietly.

"Your imprint never had to be introduced to your family," I countered.

"She is family." He growled a little.

"He could be, too; if you let him." I just shrugged.

"I think Leah's getting a little impatient," Ryanne's voice said. I leaned against the door jam and watched Nate and her interact. Ryanne said something about Jake helping her out. The giant walked into the kitchen and took the towel from Nate's hands. He turned, his eyes lighting a little.

"You want to take a walk?" I just nodded and turned away from him. His green eyes shined with gratitude as he thanked everyone for inviting him into their home. I didn't tell him that they really didn't have a choice. I had waited until the last moment to ask him and the very last moment to tell anyone. I thought Ryanne was going to kill herself in her efforts to clean the already spotless house. We walked in silence for a little while. "Thanks for inviting me. Aunt Jeanie isn't really the best cook the world has ever seen. It was good to have a home cooked meal." If he wasn't eating home cooked food, what had he been eating for the few months that I had known him now? "Are you going to tell me what's wrong or should we play twenty questions?"

"I'm really sorry that they were all over you like that. I told everyone to be nice and I really thought that they would listen to me," I rushed out. "I don't know why. I mean, I told them that they were supposed to lay off of the hard stuff-"

"Leah."

"I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable with-"

"Leah. Hey." My shoulder shook a little. "You not the only one who has a family Leah." Yeah, but he doesn't talk about his. Well, he talked about his dad. But I think that was different. "They were just fine," he said with a deep chuckle that sent shivers down my spine.

"But they weren't," I countered. "They overreacted about everything."

"You're the one overreacting, Leah." I narrowed my eyes and glared up at him halfheartedly. "They were fine. Come on," he said, wrapping his hand around my wrist and pulling me into the darkness. I could feel a scar running along the length of his palm, a few other shorter ones raised enough to where I could feel them.

"Turn left," I said, hoping to take him to the top of Third Cliff. I twisted my hand in his so that I was holding his wrist and dragging him along behind me. "Just follow me." I was going to have to give him a proper tour of the reservation, especially if he kept talking like he wanted to spend more time around here.

"Where are we going?" I didn't answer, just kept pulling until the smell of salt was burning in my nose.

"Right here," I finally said, dropping down and letting my knees swing over the edge, running an anxious hair through my newly cut hair. I couldn't believe I had let my mother convince me to chop it. After I had phased the first time, I had let Emily do it. And it didn't really matter what it looked like because no one was going to be looking at me. But now it did. Well, not really because I didn't want anything from Nate and he didn't want anything from me. I looked back to see his Adam's apple bob as he peeked over the edge. "You afraid of heights, Marine?" I teased, decided that I liked the new nickname.

He just sank down beside me and looked over at me. "What's so special about this place?" How did he know that there was anything special about it. There wasn't. It was just a place.

"There's a lot of memories here," I admitted. I hadn't told anyone about the things that had happened up here. It was the first place I had come after I'd phased. When I was a little kid, my dad used to take me up here. I remember being six and telling him that I could see the top of the world from up here. He started taking me up earlier and earlier until finally, we would spend sunrise coffee together up here. Those were some of the happiest memories of my life. We used to just sit up here and drink coffee or tea or hot chocolate. I used to tell him about what I wanted to do with my life.

And this place held the worst memories for me. It was here that Sam had told me that he was leaving me; that things weren't working out. I pestered him again and again until I finally got him to confess that there was someone else. Two days later, he was sitting by Emily's side in the hospital. It wasn't very hard to figure out that she had been the other person. After that, I'd jumped. Not to end my life or for the stupid reasons that Bella had. I jumped to be weightless, like the birds that my dad and I used to watch glide through the air. It was high, only about fifteen feet. I was fine. Physically.

"Good memories?" he said, pulling me out of my little pity party.

"Some of them," I said, not wanting to tell him about Sam. No guy wanted someone else's scraps. Not that it mattered because I didn't want Nate. "Some of them suck, but I have to remember them."

That was the truth. Remembering the hurt of losing Sam, the pain of losing my father, watching my little brother's life get flipped upside down… it all reminded me that I was stronger than I thought I was and capable of the things that my dad had told me about when I was an innocent little tween. "They remind me that I can do things I never thought I could," I admitted. He had said before that he wasn't in a place to judge me. And no matter how much I wanted to be the tough Leah Clearwater that didn't need jack shit from anyone, I needed him. Not him, just someone. I did not need Nate.

"Sorry, I have a habit of ruining our nights," I said after he bumped against my shoulder. "We should get back to the house. My mom will get suspicious."

Not true; my mother would ask me if she would finally get to have the grandchildren that she'd been dreaming about since she gave birth to me. But I had patrol tonight and I needed to get going if I wanted to avoid Sam. Nate followed me in standing but took a step in front of me, leading us down the same path that we had come up. It bothered me when other people did it, but not when he did. Never when he did. Which was strange because I shouldn't care about him one way or another.

I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't see the tree root sticking up, which was strange for me because I generally saw everything and easily avoided it. I tripped and took a shaky step forward, sliding in the mud with an uncharacteristically feminine squeal. I smashed into Nate's back, my arms wrapping around his thick neck. He spun around as he tumbled so that we were chest to chest and rolling through the grass. I could hear him laughing as we tumbled and then the reverberating crash of his skull hitting the thick trunk of a pine tree. And I thought that I had ruined the night before.

I pushed myself out of his thick arms and sat on my knees next to him. "You okay?" I asked, my breath gone from my lungs. How had I been so stupid? I had hurt him. I brushed a hand over his face on instinct. "You hit that tree pretty hard." He didn't answer, just sat there quietly panting for breath. "God I'm so fucking stupid. I didn't mean for that to happen." How could I have let him get hurt? My job was to protect him and I had hurt him so much so that he wasn't speaking. "I shouldn't have fucking slipped. God damn it! Nate are you okay?" I said, realizing that I could sit and freak out about him or I could make sure he was okay. He didn't answer.

I reached for the back of his head. Part of my brain registered that his hair was just as soft as I had secretly dreamed of, but most of my brain was focused on the searching for any knots or bumps that could mean that he was hurt. "Nate, can you hear me?" He didn't answer. 'Fuck, why can't I be good at this shit. This is why I didn't want this to happen."

I wasn't built to be an imprint. Everyone else had some kind of natural ability to care for their imprints. I didn't. Our bounding time consisted of us beating each other up. I wasn't ever going to get to be happy because I wasn't good enough for it. I didn't deserve it. I was so close to phasing. And I couldn't. I would hurt him. And the only thing that was going to make the wolf in me calm down was going to be him. "Nate, please tell me you're okay," I begged.

His rough hand came up to the hand that I had laid against his cheek. I looked up to his face instead of the mossy floor to make sure he was still breathing. And then he sat up and pressed his lips to mine.

I didn't deserve this. I wasn't good enough to be happy. I was a genetic defect. No one would ever want me. I tried to repeat the words again and again in my head, but it did me no good. Because all of the sudden, Nate was lying in the grass and I was straddling his waist with my hands resting against his shoulders. His hands wrapped themselves in my hair, tugging lightly at the strands. The human part of my brain was protesting all of this, but the wolf in me was in control. So I kissed him back, my hands squeezing the thick muscles of his shoulders

I raised myself up, feeling the friction drag across my body. His tongue circled my lower lip a few times until I opened my mouth and he slid in. I couldn't believe this was happening. I hadn't kissed anyone since Sam. And this was better than any kiss that Sam and I had shared. I licked his lip back, doing something that Sam had always thought was weird. It was the Alpha in him, even back then. I was supposed to be beneath him. But I didn't have to be that way with Nate.

I rose up, trying to get a better angle to kiss him, slipping my hands from his shoulders to his neck, feeling my nails scrape across the skin and the goosebumps rise up. His teeth grazed my lower lip and I moaned, unable to help myself. He growled convincingly back at me and I smiled, ready to lose everything about myself in this boy.

So I pulled away. Because I could never let myself get that far with a boy again. I could never put myself so far out there again. I didn't deserve happiness. And more importantly, Nate didn't deserve some broken fuck like me.


	13. Chapter XII

**Author's Note: Here we go again! Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XII**

I sat up, finding myself sitting in a pool of my own sweat with trembling arms. One day, I was going to remember what these dreams were. I had nothing to be afraid of. I had nothing that I had to be sorry for. But I was haunted. I shoved myself upright, feeling the sweat drip down my neck and shoulders and arms. There was an insistent tugging at my heart, a heavy pull that was drawing me away from my bed.

Normally I would go into the gym and work everything out of my system. But that didn't seem like it was an option, not this time. I pulled a long sleeved thermal shirt on and jumped in the car, parking at the beech and climbing the hill that Leah had brought me up earlier. Which was stupid, I know. I didn't care about her. I had to remember that. I didn't care about her like that. I swung my legs over the edge of the cliff that she had shown me and looked down at the mossy grass and leaves that covered the ground.

Except I did.

I did care about her like that. And as stupid as it sounded, I wanted what I had thought that I didn't. I had spent hours awake last night, climbing and descending the rope until my arms couldn't take the weight of my body again. Frank was right, I was a selfish prick. I did care about Leah and she did deserve better than what I was giving her. There was no point in pretending like I didn't like her. I did. She was anything and everything I could ever want. So yeah; I did want her that way.

Allie hadn't been like Leah. She wasn't nearly as strong as Leah was. When the going got tough and I was out of sight, she was gone and I was out of her mind. But whatever had happened to Leah hadn't broken her. She had found strength and courage. She found the part of herself that I'd found when I was overseas. And I admired her for it.

She was so much more than Allie ever was. She was secure in herself, never fishing for compliments or needing me to tell her how great she was. I thought that she knew it. But now that I had kissed her, I realized that she didn't. She didn't realize just how powerful, kind, and utterly fantastic she was. And the fact that she was so beautiful didn't hurt me either. I'd watched her deal with Ryanne with patience the last couple of weeks. I'd watched her try to find ways to help her mom. I'd watched her struggle with her grief and fight to keep herself under control.

But she couldn't do it forever. Pretty soon she was going to break into pieces if she didn't have someone beside her. The sun started peeking up over the water level, shining lightly over the ocean. A broken twig crunched behind me. I jumped up and spun around, prepared the fight. "What are you doing here?"

"Leah?"

She was wearing nothing but a sports bra and thin cotton pants. "No, the Dalai Lama," she said, padding on bare feet towards me. "What are you doing here?" she repeated.

"I guess I could ask you the same question," I said, wondering how she wasn't cold.

"I actually live on this reservation," she countered, sinking down next to me. "You okay?"  
"Yeah, just couldn't sleep. You?"  
"Right there with you," she said. "Just got off of work and I was trying to sleep."

"You work wearing nothing?" I said, looking over and trying not to stare at her. God damn was she breathtaking.

She chuckled a little. "I told you; I was going to bed." I knocked up against her, watching her yawn a little. "Nate, I'm sorry about last night," she whispered. "I didn't mean for things to go like they did."

"Don't apologize for it, Leah. You didn't do anything wrong," I said. "I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn't have kissed you. I'm really sorry. And I shouldn't have just let you," I stopped, unsure what to say next.

"I'm not sorry that you kissed me so you shouldn't be either," she said gruffly. That was Leah for you.

"Leah," I began, turning towards her slightly. "Look, I'm really sorry if I pushed you where you did want to go, but - -"

"Nate, don't, please." She sighed heavily. "I get it, okay? You don't have act like it was the greatest thing in the world, okay? Let's just not pretend like this was something that you wanted for the rest of your life."

Was she being serious? I couldn't believe that she thought that I didn't want her. Who wouldn't want Leah Clearwater? She was… perfect. I sighed loudly. "It's fine, Nate; I get it okay? It was nice while we were doing it and I get that you don't want anything more."

She pushed herself up to her feet. "You should get home soon, Nate. You never know what can be in the forests," she said. "I'll see you later for workout," she added. Well at least I had that to look forward to later today. I stared back out over the water and just sat there for a little while before I walked back to the car.

"Where'd you disappear to this morning?" Frank asked as soon as I walked into the gym.

"Needed to go think."

"Did you decide that you wanted to be a man for once?" he insulted.

"Yes Frank, I did." Now I just had to figure out how I was going to tell Leah that I wanted to be with her, or at least give things a try. Without sounding like a complete and utter girl, of course.

"So you're bringing her around for dinner this week?" I mean, wasn't that only fair? She'd introduced me to her family and the craziness that they were. It was only fair that she got to see a little portion of my family. Although it wasn't an accurate depiction; my family at home was a little louder. But Jeanie was like my mother in her mannerisms and ways of doing things. Frank was just how I remember my dad being, a little rough around the edges with a heart of gold.

"I'll see what she says later today." I could probably have Jeanie ask her. Leah wouldn't say no to my aunt; no one could.

I took my run as usual, going through the motions of a routine that I had put in place just out of habit. I was on my down the rope, for the fifth time, when I saw Leah walk through the door. I dropped down most of the rope, ignoring the sting in my sides, and jogged over to her sides. I didn't do anything halfheartedly. And this was no different.

I reached her side and leaned down, dropping a kiss onto her cheek. "You ready to get started?" I asked. She nodded, waiting until she thought that I couldn't see to reach her hand up to her cheek. I knew that she wanted this just as badly as I did. Now that I had decided that I wanted this, that is. I was committed to figuring out how this could work for us.

I was trying not to stare at her as we walked into the ring. She sauntered in, her hips swinging a little more than usual. Or maybe I was finally noticing just how beautiful she actually was. And she really was beautiful. So smooth and soft with a definition to everything about her that made her look simply stunning.

We were warming up, just circling each other. It amazed me that she came in, looking like she hadn't done anything but walk in, and she was ready to fight. She took a swing at me that I easily avoided and quickly snapped her hand back to her side. She had gotten faster as she got more comfortable and her technique had increased. It was great to see it. But she was wearing the mask again, the one that was a little harder than her usual one; the one that she'd had on the first day that I'd met her. "So my aunt and uncle want you to stay for dinner," I said, reaching out and tapping her ear with an open hand. She growled.

"Why?" she snapped.

"Because I went over to your place with your family. It's like returning the favor," I said, sweeping my leg around hers and picking her ankle with my own. She came cashing to the ground.

"So, after everything that happened you still want to have me come over and meet your family? Or the portion of it that's here?" she snapped.

What did she think had happened? She actually showed her emotions? She actually revealed that she isn't as tough as I'd always thought? What was I supposed to do with that, run away? No; I was going to sit right here by her side until she realized that she was worth much more than she had given herself credit for. "Nothing happened, Leah. You were upset. That doesn't change anything," I said, leaning over her.

She huffed and tried to roll away, but I held her down firmly. "Please come to dinner. Aunt Jeanie isn't the greatest cook, but she makes a mean potato salad and Uncle Frank can grill like no man's business."

She shoved me off of her. "I don't want to," she snarled.

"You'll hurt Jeanie's feelings," I replied.

"Doesn't matter to me; I don't know her." And there she was, the Leah that was hiding again. This was the Leah that was afraid to show that she wasn't heartless.

"You and I both know that you have more of a heart than that, Leah," I said.

"And how would you know that?"  
"Because someone without feelings doesn't kiss like you did," I said into her ear. She shoved me away and flipped me off, stalking towards the exit. "So Wednesday?" I shouted after her. Her middle finger fell and her thumb popped up.

Not heartless at all.


	14. Chapter XIII

**Author's Note: Good morning everyone. I am just letting everyone know what I have picked up more hours at work (oh joy!) so I will be shifting the update timetable around, so please bare with me. I know that I ask that of you guys all the time and I feel really bad, but I'm hoping to have it all figured out in the next few days.  
Obsessed23: I wanted to address your review really quick. First of all, thank you so much for the reviews. I really do love them and they help me think of new things to write. I, unfortunately, am going to have to ask for your patience in regards to Nathan's relationship with his family. It will definitely be explained (I promise you that), but I have a few things that are going to happen before that.  
Happy reading everyone!**

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**Chapter XIII**

I hadn't seen as much of Leah as I would've liked. She came in for her workout everyday. She never said anything about the fact that I had taken to kissing her cheek everyday, but she never pulled away. I took it as a good sign and clung to the hope that she was realizing that she was worth my time. But at the end of the Tuesday, she'd refused to go with me to the cafe, as had become our routine. I was disappointed. That was an understatement. She wasn't pulling away from me when I was touching her, but she wasn't hanging out with me either. She looked at me like she was waiting for me to run away from her, like she couldn't believe that I was here.

Finally, Wednesday had arrived. Aunt Jeanie was overjoyed that her home was going to have a guest. She had spent the last few days prepping the house, cleaning, touching up areas where she felt the paint didn't look quite right. She had asked me all about Leah's favorite foods, but the only thing that I was able to tell her was that Leah ate like a normal human being. "I'm not sure what that means, Nathan," she said.

"It means she's not like the sick one who was here when he got back," Frank jumped in.

It was true; I mean, Allie wasn't sick by any means or any stretch of the imagination. But she was one of those girls who was _obsessed _with her weight. I suppose that it was healthy. She cared about putting only good things into her body and eating appropriate portions. But she also wanted that for everyone around her. And when you're almost six-foot-four, training daily, and weigh about two hundred pounds, a salad with a few pre-portioned strips of meat on it wasn't going to do anything for you. I liked that Leah wasn't afraid of food. She ate whatever you put down in front of her, no complaints. She'd never said anything to me about what I ate either.

Well, other than the time that she'd poured my soda over my head because, and I quote: "I looked like I was finished."

I like that this was how she was with me. She wasn't afraid to joke around with me, to beat up on me, to get rough. She'd given me more bruises than most of the guys I spared with. She worse me out and made me want to fall into bed at the end of the night. Granted, I wouldn't be so tired if the damn nightmares would stop. But they wouldn't. No matter how hard I tried to figure it out, I couldn't.

Leah had arrived earlier than I thought she would, looking exhausted. I left my punching bag and stared towards her, grabbing one of the hand towels and wiping down my face. I reached out and took her hand in mine, drawing her closer until I could lean down and press my lips against her soft cheek. "You're here pretty early," I said, still holding her rough hand in mine. I wanted to run my thumb over the smooth skin of the back of her hand, but I didn't want to scare her away. I wanted her to be here with me.

"There are some things that I have to do tonight," she said, her eyes twinkling a little. I liked it; it was good to see her like this again.

"Anything important?"

"Nah," she teased, tweaking her lip a little. I smiled down at her. "I mean, it can't be that important because the kid didn't even bother to tell me what I had to wear to dinner tonight."

"You didn't tell me; I just had to wing it," I said.

"Yeah, but you can avoid my family if you want. Your uncle owns the gym," she countered. The fingers that I held were slowly starting to hold me back. I smiled a little at her, but didn't do much more. She could set the pace on this. "What if they don't like me?" she asked.

"Aunt Jeanie already loves you and we'll never know how Frank feels. That's just how he is," I replied.

"But what if you aunt is doing some super nice dinner and I show up in sweatpants and a tank top?"

"Then you show up like that and that's what it is," I replied with a shrug.

"Seriously Nate, if you don't tell me what to wear," she threatened, pulling her hand from mine and digging into her duffle bag for her wraps. She plopped herself down on the bench while I avoided staring at her.

"Leah, anything you want to wear is fine," I assured her.

"But what if -"

"You have nothing to worry about," I tried again.

"If you don't tell me what to wear, I'm going to show up naked," she threatened.

Sounded like a plan to me. Instead, I just shrugged. "That'll make things a little interesting I suppose," I replied instead. She shook her head and bit her lip, stalking off to the ring.

"You are impossible," she informed me. "And a jackass."

"And you're still a bitch," I said, jumping into the ring and getting into my stance. "Would it make you feel better if I asked Aunt Jean what you were supposed to wear tonight?"  
"You can't _ask_, Nate," she said, tossing her hands out and standing from her fighting posture.

"And why the fuck not? Didn't you just tell me that you wanted to know what you had to wear? Aunt Jeanie would know what that would be," I said. Did everything really need to be this confusing?

"But if I can't figure out what to wear to dinner, then who knows what else I can't figure out," she said.

"See, that's a jump that I can't quite make," I replied. I had grown up with a father that was stationed overseas and a mother that had been home with me all day long. I had learned that there were certain things that female and male brains didn't think the same about. And apparently this was one of them. "If you don't want me to ask her about it," I said, "then what would you have me do?"

She took her position up again and looked at me with an analytical eye. I took the moment and threw and right hook, tapping her lightly, but enough to start the fight. She responded quickly with an uppercut, clipping my jaw nicely. She had learned so much in the past few months. "What are you wearing?" she asked a little breathless, sweeping out her leg and throwing me flat on my ass.

"Don't know yet," I said, trying not let the pain get to me.

Leah sank down on her knees beside me. "You okay?" she asked. I nodded. "You don't look okay," she continued. I just nodded again. Her fingers played on the edge of my shirt. Well that sure as hell brought me back.

"I'm good," I said, pushing her hand away. I wasn't sure what all flashed in her eyes, but I thought that I saw hurt in there. Great; now I had shoved her away from me. And knowing Leah, she would take that a sign for her to get away from me and stay away and that wasn't what I wanted. I just couldn't let anyone else see them.

She looked tired, now that I could actually see her. She looked like she hadn't slept in ages. "Leah, are you sure you want to do this tonight?" I asked.

"I took the night off of work, Nate. There's nothing to get in the way tonight." She could be doing more important things with her night off than hang out with me and my aunt and uncle. She looked like she could use the entire time sleeping and be completely content with life.

"Yeah, you've been working a lot," I said, pushing myself up and sitting next to her. "You sure you don't want to do this another day? If you need rest or something, Aunt Jeanie will understand."

"You scared Marine?" she laughed. "Second thoughts?"

"No, but I don't want you to be tired or anything, Leah. If you want to have a day off to do, I don't know, girl things, I understand," I said, worried about what she was doing to herself. She made an effort to come into the gym everyday, but her strength was draining a little every time we fought. We hadn't even really spared today. She'd knocked me on my ass and then given up.

"I wasn't taking the day off until you invited me to dinner. Jake's covering my shift tonight," she said.

"So you, being the heartless bitch that you are, took an entire day off to spend with me and my family?"

"Don't go getting a big head about it," she said. "Now, are you going to tell me what I should be wearing to dinner."

"A dress Leah; wear a dress," I said. It was the last thing I could ever picture Leah Clearwater in. She didn't seem like the type for a dress. I didn't really care either way. She could wearing whatever she wanted. Or nothing.

I took in a deep breath and scooted closer to her, the short hairs on her head tickling my cheeks. "Or you could come naked," I said, gathering up my courage to be a little bolder. "I'm fine either way."

She blushed a deep red that mixed beautifully with the dark honey tones of her skin. "I have to get going," she said.

"You just got here," I protested.

"I know, but I promised my mom that I would let her help me out with the girl stuff for all of this," she said simply. I nodded in understanding. "If you see her soon and she asks you about our date, by the way, this is what she's talking about." I laughed, remembering Jeanie's reaction to my heading over to Leah's. Leah was lucky that it was only one night that she would be stuck with it. I'd had to go two nights in a row. She stood up and pushed away from me, jumping out of the ring. She stopped with her hand on her bag's strap and turned back to look at me. "A dress really?" she asked incredulously.

I just nodded because I was sure she wouldn't do it. It wouldn't by Leah's style.

Looking back now, I was fucking glad I had asked her to wear a dress. She came in front door of the gym looking like she should've been in a magazine or something. Her dress was a light cream, a color I was learning she liked a lot. It didn't have sleeves or a low neckline, but when she'd turned around to look at me, I saw the diamond shaped cut out that revealed most of her back. I thought I was going to die right then. She had actually styled her hair, a little gel make the pieces in the back stick up and the ones in the front lie in a more textured look against her forehead. Her earrings were small and gold, matching a tone in her skin that I hadn't seen before.

Most of her legs were revealed, like the night she'd worn shorts. They were so long, so lean, so toned, so fucking gorgeous and smooth looking. She'd placed some bright blue flat shoes on her feet, a little color to her otherwise cream look. She could've shown up in the sweatpants that she'd mentioned earlier and I probably would've been staring. She had some light shimmer on her eyelids and her lashes looked a little darker and thicker than normal. I couldn't help but think about the amount of makeup that Allie used to wear, caking her face in the liquid shit that was supposed to even her skin tone.

I tapped her on her shoulder and watched her spin around, unprepared for the unfiltered Leah that was staring me. Her eyes were sparkling, her cheeks were warm. She looked happier, younger, more awake, more vibrant, more like you would assume a young girl would. And most of all, she looked so fucking beautiful I couldn't find a way to tell her. "Thanks," she whispered with a small smile. I cocked an eyebrow at her. "I know you think I look hot; I could see it in your eyes," she explained.

"Something like that," I said, leaning in and placing my lips a little closer to the corner of her mouth than her cheek. "You do look amazing, Leah," I said. She smiled a little wider, revealing more of her teeth than I had ever seen.

"You don't look so bad either," she informed me with that cheeky gleam in her eyes.

I snaked my hand down her arm, feeling the goosebumps that arose and the electricity that shot through me. I wound our fingers together and tugged her towards the back door that led to the house. "You ready for this?" I asked with a smile, sliding the door open.

"It's too late to back down now," she said.

I squeezed her hand a little tighter in mine. "You'll be fine, Leah."

"Liar," she said, just as I pushed her into the house.


	15. Chapter XIV

**Author's Note: I know that this is later than when I normally post, but I'm working out the kinks in my work/school schedule to coordinate with my posts. Hopefully I'll have it figured out today or tomorrow. Anyways, enjoy!**

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**Chapter XIV**

I put my hand to the small of her back, feeling the goosebumps prickle at her skin. "Aunt Jeanie, this is Leah. Leah, this is my aunt Jeanie. Uncle Frank is in the backyard with the grill." She didn't take another step, in fact, she stepped back into my chest. I gently pushed her forward, forcing her to take another step.

Jeanie came forward and took Leah into her arms, kissing both of her cheeks. Leah immediately stepped back into my side, her entire form quivering just a little. "I should go check and make sure that Frank isn't turning our steaks into charcoal. Maybe I could convince these boys to drink a bottle of wine?" I could see Leah nodding with a polite smile on her face. Jeanie smiled and turned away from us.

"My aunt likes to think that she's Italian," I said by way of explanation. "You okay?" I asked. She just shook her head.

"I've never had to do anything like this," she said. "I've only dated one other guy and he was from the Rez, Nate."

"Are you scared, Clearwater?" I said with a little laugh, looking down at her. I wasn't really prepared for when she looked at me. Her eyes were a little frantic as she looked up at me, the corner of her bottom lip tucked neatly between her teeth. She looked down at the ground, not willing to admit that she was, in fact, afraid. I curled my index finger, resting it underneath her chin and allowing my thumb to close over the top. I pulled her face up to meet mine. "I hadn't done it before either," I said. "And my aunt and uncle won't heckle you like your family did."

Her eyes fell with fear as I said it and I instantly regretted the words. "I told you I was sorry; I didn't -"

"Leah, it was a joke," I said, sliding my hand up to cover her mouth before she could say anything more. "I enjoyed dinner with your family; I really did. My aunt is going to love you and Frank is going to be silent for most of the night. It's just going to be a little fun." I moved my hands from her lips again. She was silent, but she still looked unsure. I leaned down so that I was right in front of her eyes. "You look gorgeous, by the way," I said, like I hadn't said it already tonight.

She flushed a little. "Just pretend that this is catching up with a friend you haven't seen in a while," I said. "Jeanie's going to pretend like you her long lost niece," I added with a shrug. Leah sighed, but she didn't move away. "Don't worry, Clearwater," I said, tugging her a little closer so that I could reach her ear. "I won't let anything get to you." She shivered against me and no matter how much I wanted to stay where I was, I stood up to avoid anything Jeanie could say to me.

"So, Leah; white or red?" she asked with a smile.

"Whatever the men would like is fine," she said politely.

"Oh they're going to drink their beers and do the manly thing," she said with a wave of her hand. "I, personally, love red."

Leah smiled a little brighter. "Then red it is," she said. I placed my hand on the small of her back and steered her towards the living room, where Aunt Jeanie had laid out salami and cheese.

"She really thinks she's Italian," I said.

"I promise you, Nathan Crowe, I am Italian," Jeanie said, walking in and handing Leah a glass of wine. Leah smiled and thanked her quietly, settling stiff backed beside me. "So Leah, Nate tells me you live down on La Push."

"Relax," I breathed into her ear, hoping that she would hear me. She must've, because she nodded a little and rolled her shoulders out of their rigid position. I looked up at Aunt Jeanie, trying to tell her that she should lay off. But I couldn't communicate with her like I could my mother.

Leah nodded. "Yes ma'am; I've lived there my entire life."

"Ever thought you might want to leave?" I cocked my head to the side and tried not to yell at my aunt. She couldn't know what she was and wasn't allowed to say.

"No ma'am; my father was an important member of the community and I want to follow him," she said. I smiled, impressed that she had managed to keep her face straight and the tears out of her eyes. It hadn't even been six months yet.

"Was?" Jeanie asked. I slipped my hand to Leah's back again and smiled tightly at my aunt, shaking my head infinitesimally. Jeanie smiled back at me, that knowing look in her eyes.

"Yes ma'am; he died a few months back," she explained.

"Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry to hear that," Aunt Jeanie exclaimed, shooting both of us an apologetic look.

"Steaks are done," Frank exclaimed suddenly, shoving the sliding glass door to the backyard open with his foot. "Everything's a little between medium and well done."

"That's code for charcoal," Jeanie said with a knowing smile.

"Are you underestimating my grilling woman?" Frank barked. I could feel Leah laughing silently next to me at Frank's remark. "Ass in chairs in five," he added.

"Don't you touch my potato salad, Franklin!" Jeanie screamed, jumping up and marching towards the kitchen with determination.

"Harmless," I assured her.

"Frank sounds anything but harmless," she said with a laugh.

"And yet he got you to laugh," I said, not admitting how much I'd loved hearing the sound.

"He reminds me of my dad," she admitted. "I mean, my dad was a little more affectionate, but same kind of mannerisms." She was smiling brighter now, like the memory of her dad didn't hurt like it used to. I was glad to see it, happy to see her smiling with the knowledge that my family had something to do with it. Because they were _my_ family, which meant I had something to do with it to some extent. "They're really not that bad," she finally said.

I bumped into her shoulder, watching her tense a little and then finally relax, leaning against me a little more than she had done before. "I told you that they weren't going to kill you," I said with a smile.

"Dinner's ready," Jeanie called.

I stood first, taking Leah's hand in mine and leading her towards the dinner table. It was unfortunate that she was still so afraid, so worried about this dinner. But o the brighter side of things, it meant that she was letting me be a little more affectionate without there being a complete bitch about it. I enjoyed the bitchiness though. I pulled her chair out for her and waited for her to be seated before I pushed her in and took my place next to her. Uncle Frank led us all in a quiet little prayer, adding "Dig in," after his _amen_.

Maybe Aunt Jeanie was Italian and it was just rubbing off on the rest of us. Uncle Frank loaded up on potato salad and steak. I couldn't really say anything; my plate matched his. Jeanie and Leah both took little salads with their dinners, but their steaks weren't nearly as large as ours. "This is delicious, Aunt Jeanie," I said.

"It's fantastic, Mrs. Crowe," Leah said with a smile.

"Oh, sweetie, call my Aunt Jeanie," she said, waving a hand at Leah like the girl had spoken to her in pig latin. "Do you have plans with school?"

Leah swallowed her steak quickly, shaking her head. "I have a place on the tribal council with my mother and brother. My brother and I work for the tribe and it takes a little bit of our times," she explained.

"Frank can you refill the girl's glass?" Jeanie said suddenly. "What is it you do then?"  
Frank stood, mumbling under his breath and walking to the kitchen. "We are a cross between neighborhood watch and wildlife conservationists. Or tribe is trying to protect the olympic wolf," she answered. "And when we're not doing that, we're guarding our people to make sure that no one comes to harm."

"Sounds interesting," Frank mumbled.

The rest of the night passed in such a manner. Jeanie and even Frank asked questions and Leah answered as if there was no problem. We laughed and talked and drank and smiled. "Frank, could you refill my glass?" Jeanie asked.

Frank stood and grabbed the bottle, tipping it completely vertical. "It's empty, Jean."

"It can't be," she protested. I just laughed. Aunt Jeanie was known for her incredible ability to hold her liquor. She'd probably drank most of the bottle alone. I knew that Leah had only had three glasses. "Well, we've got another -"

"No way, old woman," Frank interrupt, wrapping an arm around his wife's waist. "Nate will clean up a little later." He nodded at me and I returned the gesture. "Let's get you upstairs." I watched my uncle all but carry my aunt up the stairs, helping her maneuver the stairs. I looked to Leah, who was smiling giddily.

"Let's get you home, huh?" I suggested, wrapping my hand around hers and helping her stand. She swayed uneasily on her feet. Apparently she wasn't nearly as adept in holding her liquor as my aunt. "A little too much tonight, Leah?" I laughed.

She giggled back. I was pretty sure it was my new favorite sound. "I've never had a drink before," she admitted.

"You're twenty-one," I laughed.

"Thank you," she said, her voice dropping a couple octaves to make fun of me. "I know how old I am." I just laughed at her and lifted her into my jeep. "My car -"

"I'm not letting you drive," I said, locking the doors and running around. I clicked the doors unlocked again, trying to make sure that Leah couldn't escape. "What's kept you from drinking?" Wasn't it the normal thing to do when you turned twenty-one?

"My dad didn't want me to," she hiccuped. "I was going through a rough time."

We were at her house in no time. She didn't say anything, just fumbled with the door until I go out and opened it for her. She'd been leaning against it and tumbled into my arms. I pulled her up into my arms, holding her bridal style against my chest. "You're a bit of a light weight, aren't you?" I laughed.

"I'm fatter than you think," she responded, pulling her dress down over her knees a little. I kicked at the door lightly with the toe of my shoe. "Are you supposed to be carrying me?" she said with a laugh that turned into another hiccup.

"She had a glass of wine with my aunt, Mrs. Clearwater. I didn't know she hadn't drank before," I said when her mother appeared at the front door, instantly feeling like I should've asked Leah before she started drinking. The things you forget when you're distracted by something beautiful.

Her mother shrugged. "It was bound to happen at some point," she said. "At least it was with someone who got her home safely." She stood back from the door, holding it open for me. "Her door is the one at the end of the hall," she added.

My eyes opened a little while in surprise. But I suppose it would be difficult for her mother to get her upstairs. Leah was beautiful and perfect, but she definitely wasn't small. And I liked it. I liked that she had the spunk and flair and fight and the body to back it all up. I marched up the stairs and straight back to the end of the hall.

Leah's room was an eggshell, bright and happy and clean like the Leah that was singing in my arms. I put my foot on the frame of her bed and rested her against my knee, freeing one hand to pull her cream colored bedspread before I laid her down in the bed. "I'm so tired," she yawned. I smoothed her hair away from her face and smiled.

"Go to sleep Leah," I said. She yawned again and rolled onto her side. "Goodnight Leah."


	16. Chapter XV

**Author's Note: Tomorrow I will let you know the new update timetable. I will also put it up on my profile for those who read all three of my stories (which I greatly appreciate, by the way). There will be different update times on the weekend to work with my job hours and homework. But I will have that up sometime tomorrow. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XV**

"Leah!" I screamed, sitting up in the same pool of my own sweat that I woke up in everyday. But this was different, very different than normal. Normally I woke up and I was just panting, just sitting there trying to catch my breath. But I had woken up with one distinct person on my mind. And I had definitely shouted her name. It was clear as day. But what did Leah have to do with my nightmares? She plagued the dreams that I remembered. There was no reason as to why she should be in my nightmare.

I pushed myself off the bed, the same way that I had for the last four days, and headed to the car. I drove straight to La Push, pulling on a clean shirt that was in the back of my car, and marching up the path that I now knew by heart. I sank down into the grass, the morning dew seeping down through my sweatpants. The sweat continued to roll down my back in waterfalls. This was worse than what I had felt before. These kind of nightmares had only happened right after I'd returned, before I'd stated to figure out my life. Again.

I looked around to make sure that no one was there and pulled my shirt over my head, lying my overheated body down in the freezing grass. Every droplet that touched me seemed to turn to steam. But it was doing what I hoped. Between the light drizzle of cold rain and the wetness from the ground, my body was being cooled and my heartbeat was slowing down.

I wanted to know what I dreamed about. I wanted to know what demons haunted me so insistently. I had conquered the ones that truly plagued me. I had come face to face with them and been forced to fight or die. And I had buried the scars, both visible and not. No one needed to see them. "Nate?" I popped upright, wheeling around to stare at her in fear.

"Leah, I -" Her hand flew up to her mouth, covering her lips as her eyes widened. She'd seen.

Of all the people in the world, it had to be the one that I actually cared about now. Frank would've understood. Jeanie would've pretended that I was still the perfect little boy that she'd left behind after my high school graduation. But Leah? Leah would ask questions and I would want to give her answers because I owed her that much.

She stumbled closer to me, her eyes fixed on my chest. She hadn't seen my back yet. Perhaps I could keep them from her. I suppose that would be just as bad as lying about why they were there and how they'd gotten there. No, if I was going to tell her, then I was going to make sure that I told her everything. She needed to understand what she was in for. I would tell her everything… except Allie. No one needed to know about that. Least of all the girl that I was interested in, now that I was interested in her, that is. "What happened to you?" she whispered brokenly.

I wanted to tell her to stop, not to come any closer. But by the time that I had grown balls big enough to speak, she was standing in front of me. Lightly, her forefinger trailed over the thickest scar, the one that ran from the left side of my shoulder diagonally across my chest towards my right hip. It cut across my body, varying in thickness at different points along my chest. I felt the shivers roll down my spine as her fingertip grazed my scar. Her other hand came up to find the next one that ran in the opposite direction, starting below my ribcage and extending down past my bellybutton.

There were several more the criss-crossed each other, but they were all straight. None of them curved, none of them turned. They were all raised and white, the skin puckered and tough. "Nate who did this?" she whispered, running her hands up my chest to my jaw. "What did this to you?" she demanded louder.

"No one, Leah," I said.

"These came from no where?" she asked in disbelief. I tried to look away from her, but her beautiful milk chocolate eyes held mine. "Please tell me, Nate. Please."

I rested my hands on her wrists, holding her hands in place and closing my eyes. It felt so good to have her there, to have her hands on my face, to have her acting like she cared about me as much as I had come to care about her. "It happened while I was there," I said quietly. "I was on patrol in the village, near to the camp. We had some suspicions, some things we had seen. One of the young boys that I liked, Ahmed, he had come to us to tell us that his father had started acting strange. None of us wanted to scare the poor kid, but we had - we had to watch his dad."

She licked her lips and narrowed her eyes, listening intently to every word that I said. "There were a few of us that were jut patrolling, making sure that there was no terrorist activity. They were holding the little boy, pointing guns to his head and shouting at us in Arabic. James was talking to them, trying to get them to let him go. They opened fire," I whispered. I could see it all in front of me, like it was happening right there in front of me. I wasn't standing in the forest, I wasn't staring at Leah. I was in the sand, in the dry heat of the night, my gear weighing heavily on my shoulders. "I woke up in a room, tied up next to some of my brothers. Most of them were dead."

I knew Leah was just staring at me. I knew that she had questions. I knew that she was probably so confused. But I couldn't see her anymore. I couldn't feel her hands on my face anymore. I just… couldn't. "They beat us, wanting information that we didn't have. It hadn't been this well thought out plan. We were low level privates. We knew nothing about the plans that our government had. We took orders from the guy right on top of us.

"But it didn't stop them. We were whipped and lashed. They wanted answers and we couldn't give them." I shoved away from her and sat myself back in the wet grass. I heard Leah gasp as my back was revealed to her, as she saw what had happened to me. "I was saved by my unit a few months later. They got me out, I was sent home for my injuries, honorable discharge. They tried to call me a hero for sticking up to the terrorists. But they don't know anything. I wasn't heroic. A hero wouldn't have allowed a child to be killed. A hero wouldn't have broken the way that I did."

Small rough hands touched my bare skin and I jumped. The desert around me disappeared; the bodies were gone; the same turned into grass and I was back in La Push with Leah standing over me. She sank to her knees in the grass beside me, her hand still over some of the scars that littered my back. I didn't want to hear the apology. People always did that. They always told me that they were sorry for my ordeal. But they weren't the ones that had taken me. They weren't the ones that had tried to kill me. They had nothing to be sorry about.

Her fingers traced the lines and holes that gave my back its own texture. She was staring at them, not yet looking at me. I could feel them against my skin, feel them mapping the pain that I had endured. She reached all the way across my back to outline the scar that ran directly across my shoulder blades. This was why I didn't take my shirt off. I didn't want the questions. I didn't want to have to answer them and explain the things that had happened to me and my brothers. I didn't want to have to think about the fact that James and I would never speak again. I could never admit how much it took from me.

She didn't say anything, just leaned her head down to my shoulder and dragging her nails down my arm. I shivered involuntarily. Leah twined our fingers together and I shuddered. I hadn't told anyone what had happened, not anyone that wasn't in the Corps at least. I had talked to the one lady for my psych eval. I had explained everything to my CO. But I hadn't actually told anyone about it. The fingers of the hand that wasn't holding mine reached over and rubbed up and down my arm. "You are a hero," she said adamantly. "And you're a man. So it's okay to feel guilty about the things that happened. As long as you realize that you can't change it. It happened."

She was right. I couldn't change the things that had happened to me over there. She sat up and placed her left hand on right cheek and pulled my face towards her. I felt her lips brush against my cheek and then she leaned down again, so that her head was lying against my shoulder again. I rested my cheek on top of her short hair, feeling exhausted now. "You're okay, Nate," she whispered. And for the first time since I'd gotten out, I believed someone.


	17. Chapter XVI

**Author's Note: Okay everyone, here's the update for the timetable for this story.  
****_Monday - Friday: _****Updates will be posted no later than noon. I know that it's about the same time as before, but believe me when I say that it makes a big difference to me. They may be up earlier, but they will only be later if I tell you ahead of time. ****_  
_**_**Saturday & Sunday:**_** Chapters will be posted no later than one p.m.  
Enjoy everyone!**

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**Chapter XVI:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

I had taken to running at night instead of sleeping. My dreams, the ones that I could never remember, only happened around five in the morning. Sometimes they were later, sometimes they were earlier, but always around that time. So I was running through the trees when the smell of salt, different from the smell of the ocean, wafted through the air. It quickly mingled with the smell of cinnamon and freshly cut grass. Nate? What was he doing here?

I ran through the trees, following his scent to Third Cliff. I had smelled there the last few days. It made me want to smile. I was glad that he was coming around more. And I was glad that he liked the cliff. It always made me happy to know that he had been sitting there at some point in the day. I phased out and pulled my sports bra and shorts on before sprinting to the tree line. I could see him lying down in the grass, his delicious scent mixed with the sea air. "Nate?" I called.

He sat up like a man possessed and stared at me. What was he -

And then I looked over at him, noticing the scars that covered his chest. I had noticed a few on his arms before, but I'd never said anything. I figured it was just some old memories. But his body was literally covered. They crossed over his skin, raised and angry. "Leah, I -" he began to say, but cut off. He looked so hurt, so upset. I wondered what my face looked like. I wondered if I was being a bitch and staring at him. Didn't Emily always say that it made her feel uncomfortable?

I took a step closer to him, still staring at the scars. I wasn't angry, I wasn't upset. I didn't know what I felt. I was worried that the wolf in me was going to make her presence know, but all of me, wolf included, was horrified by what I was seeing. Who had done this to him? Why would someone do this to him? He swallowed hard, fear rolling off of him in waves. "What happened to you?" I asked, but my voice kept breaking. How had someone done this? Why couldn't I have protected him from this?

He was silently staring at me, mouth opening and closing like a fish until I was standing right in front of him. I wanted to convince myself that they weren't real; that the scars were those makeup prosthetics. But I could feel the scar tissue under my index finger, the tough skin that ran across his body. He shivered under my hand. I looked at another long one and traced that one with my opposite hand. He was like a race track of scarred skin. "Nate, who did this to you?" He just stared at me. I ran my hands flat against his chest up to his neck. Despite the scars, I could appreciate the fine muscles that were literally shaking underneath my hands. "What did this to you?" I asked seriously. I wanted to find it and rip it to shreds. It had hurt him. And it couldn't be human; no human being could do this to another man.

"No one, Leah," he replied.

"These came from no where?" I asked indignantly. I wasn't stupid. And he better not treat me like I was. His gaze wavered for a moment, but he managed to keep his eyes on mine. "Please tell me, Nate," I begged. I wanted to help him. And I never wanted to help anyone. People were a waste of time; at the end of the day, they would stab you in the back and turn and run. But I didn't care about that. I cared about him. "Please."

His own calloused hands wrapped around my wrists, thumbs whispering along the skin on my forearms. "It happened while I was there," he whispered. Where? What was he talking about? "I was on patrol in the village, near to the camp. We had some suspicions, some things we had seen." When he was overseas? That's what he was talking about; got it. "One of the young boys that I liked, Ahmed, he had come to tell us that his father had started acting strange. None of us wanted to scare the poor kid, but we had," he stopped, his eyes glazing over. "We had to watch his dad."

It was so strange to hear about terrorism from the mouth of a person that had dealt with it face to face. "There were a few of us that were just patrolling, making sure that there was no terrorist activity. They were holding the little boy, pointing guns to his head and shouting at us in Arabic. James was talking to the, trying to get them to let him go. They opened fire." His eyes were looking at me, but I knew that they weren't seeing me. The way that he was flinching and shaking, I knew he was back in the desert. I wondered, somewhere in my mind, who James was. But I wasn't going to ask. He needed to get this out. "I woke up in a room, tied up next to some of my brothers. Most of them were dead."

I didn't know how to react to that. I wanted to cry, but I wasn't sure whether I was devastated about what he'd been through, glad that he'd made it out alive, or relieved that the spirits had chosen someone that was as broken as I was. He didn't go into detail, at least not great detail. And I was thankful for it. I don't know if I could've controlled myself listening to him talk about getting beaten and tortured, for information that he didn't know, in depth. I could barely breath as it was. He pushed way from me and went to sit in the grass.

It probably wasn't the best reaction the world had ever seen, but I couldn't stifle the sound that came out of my mouth. The back of his was so much worse than the front. There were only a few spots that were bare, unharmed skin. Most of it was his scars now. It made sense now, why he was so strict about wearing his shirt. It all made sense, why he'd stopped that day that I'd gone to lift his shirt and make sure that nothing was broken. I was trembling, fighting for control. I couldn't leave him, not like this. He would think that I didn't want him. And I did. I was tired of fighting this imprint. I wanted Nate to want me, to want to date me. I wanted to be Leah Clearwater again. Not Leah the bitch.

"I was saved by my unit a few months later. They got me out, I was sent home for my injuries. Honorable discharge. They tried to call me a hero for sticking up to the terrorists. But they don't know anything." From the tone in his voice, I knew there was something that he wasn't telling me. But I wouldn't, I couldn't press him. He needed time and someone there for him. And God damn it, I would do it. "I wasn't heroic. A hero wouldn't have allowed a child to be killed." My heart sank. That poor kid; he didn't deserve that. "A hero wouldn't have broken the way that I did."

Only bent, not broken. There was damage, but he was coming back from it. He just needed… me. I didn't want to say it, let alone think it. But he needed someone that wasn't going to judge him. I didn't care about what had happened. The reality was that it had happened and he was here with me. And I guess I would have to think that way too. I walked over to where he stood and laid my hand on his shoulder.

He started and looked up at me, the fog in his eyes clearing away as he realized that he was here with me again. I dropped to my knees, my fingers gliding over his scars. I didn't know what to say. But I couldn't apologize to him. I knew my situation was nothing like his, but I also knew that people tended to apologize when they were dumbfounded. And I was. But when people apologized to me for Sam leaving me for my cousin, it took everything in my power not to ask them what the fuck they were sorry for. They weren't Emily, they weren't Sam. They weren't vampires or Taha Aki or the spirits. They had nothing to do with it. I could only imagine that's what Nate was feeling.

So instead of saying anything, I looked at his back, running my fingers over the different scars. There were bullet wounds, burn scars, whip lashes. I slid my finger along one scar that ran directly across his shoulder blades, the entirety of his broad back. Once I had made it to the shoulder that was closest to me, I trailed my fingers down the veins in his arm and rested my head against his shoulder, right on top of some scar. He shuddered against me and I smiled. This was what we both needed, someone who wasn't going to judge us. And then I replayed his words in my head.

I stroked his arms, feeling the skin prickle under my hand. "You are a hero," I said. All of them were. Every man that fought for our country was a hero in his own regard. "And you're a man, so it's okay to fell guilty about the things that happened. As long as you realize that you can't change it." I looked up at him. "It happened." And it brought him to me. Learning to move on wasn't going to be easy, not after everything that he had been through. But I needed to figure it out too. I took a deep breath and pulled his face to me, pressing my lips against his cheek with a boldness I didn't know I still had in me. I leaned my head down again and looked out over the water.

The sun was beginning to come over the water line when I smelled salt again, fresh and light in the air. I felt something warm and wet hit my head, but I didn't say anything about it. My father had always told me that you don't insult a man when he's broken. Or bent. Nate is not broken. We can learn to be ourselves again. His cheek fell to the top of my short hair. "You're okay, Nate," I promised him. He took in a shuttering breath, but nodded against my hair.

We were going to be just fine.


	18. Chapter XVII

**Author's Note: Okay, this is a little chapter that I have been dreaming about writing since I first started this story. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XVII:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

We probably made some great romantic picture, but the reality was that we were both so broken. And yes, there was a part of this that was deeply romantic and moving in a way that I hadn't felt in a long time. I felt something warm against my head. I looked up at him to find him smiling down at me. "Thanks for listening," he whispered.

"Any time," I replied. "I'm only on my lunch break from work. I have to leave soon." I didn't want to leave him, but I had to get back on patrol. Sam would kill me if he knew that we'd been sitting her for almost an hour.

I hadn't sat with anyone on this hill at sunrise since my dad. I didn't want to leave. I sighed. "Yeah," he said. He turned against me again, but this time his lips pressed against my cheek. "I'll see you a little later tonight?" God I wished that I didn't have to go deal with the leeches tonight. It was important for training.

"I have a double shift at work tonight," I said regretfully. "I might make it to the gym for a little while," I added when his heartbeat picked up. This was just as hard for me as it was for him. I didn't want to be far from him, but there were things that I had to do to protect him. And, unfortunately, working with leeches was one of them.

"Don't go out of your way," he said, put it wasn't his normal voice. He sounded upset, sad, put down. "I should head back to the gym," he whispered. He pulled me up to my feet and against his chest. His lips pressed against my cheek again, lingering a little longer than his normal kiss. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to feel his lips on mine again. "I'll see you later."

I waited until he was a ways in front of me to phase in and join Jared. _Did you have a nice little chat?_

Drop it Jared.

_I'm just saying that none of us have met the kid._

I tried that, Jared. Sam freaked out on him, remember?

_You didn't exactly _**_tell_**_ anyone that you had an imprint, Leah._

It wasn't anyone's business. Fuck off.

_Look Leah, I know that you didn't want an imprint. I know that you don't want him around us. But he's pack now, Leah. And no matter what you want as a person, the wolf side of you wants him and it wants him safe. So you better start bringing him around because it's the only way that you know he's going to be safe._ I didn't say anything. I just thought about what his words, about what he was saying. He was right. Until today, the human side of me didn't want anything to do with Nate. Not really, anyways. I mean, I thought that I could be this bipolar person. I thought that I could hate him as a person and be just fine with him as a wolf. But I wanted him now too. I needed him now too. _For what it's worth, Leah, he seemed like a nice guy. _

I didn't say another word after that. We ran our borders and patrolled like normal before Paul and Jake phased in. I sprinted home, pulling on my clothes and meeting my mother on the front porch. "Someone had a good night last night," she said with a laugh. I just laughed too and sank down on the porch swing next to her. "Do you feel well?"

"I had a little headache this morning, but it went away after some water." She nodded. "I didn't know that I could even get drunk anymore, Ma," I said.

She laughed. "You're a bit of an anomaly, Leah. We don't know much about you," she said. I could tell that it didn't make her happy. I knew that all of this, losing Dad, me and Seth phasing, all of it had been hard for her. "He brought you home though; safe and sound. Couldn't really ask for more than that." I just nodded. "Did you enjoy yourself last night?"

"His aunt and uncle are a lot like you and dad were," I said. "And he was great the entire night. It wasn't all that bad."

Mom just stared at me for a moment. "But?" she prompted.

I sighed, wanting to talk to her about everything but not wanting to betray Nate. "He's really messed up, Ma," I whispered.

"So are you," she pointed out. "You have more problems than you realize, Leah."

"I know that, Ma, but I'm not like he is. I - I don't even know how to react to it," I told her. I leaned back against the cushion of the swing. She scooted herself next to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, pulling me against her chest like she had when I was a little kid.

"When you were younger," she whispered, "you used to want to be a veterinarian." I smiled, remembering the days before I phased, before Sam. "You were the craziest kid that I have ever known. You would come home everyday with a new pet. You came home one time with a rubber boa, the largest your father and I had ever seen, and you begged us to let you keep it." I frowned at her; I didn't remember this. "You came home with frogs and snakes and rabbits and anything that you could possibly imagine. I remember one time, you asked me if you could sleep with your friends. You were only four or five.

"I figured that you were talking about some imaginary friend that I couldn't see. And I was so tired of fighting you on everything. I told you to go to bed and when you woke up, I thought that you had wet your bed or something. You told me that your friends had died. Snails, Leah Clearwater. Your friends were snails and you had put them in your pockets and killed them because you slept on them." We both starting laughing at that. My mom pressed her lips against my head. "You always had a thing for the broken pets. I can't remember a single day that you brought home and completely healthy animal. Well, except for the snake you brought us. You thought he was sick because he was shedding his skin."

Mom was laughing a little at me and the memories that she had of my childhood antics. "You always had a knack for finding the things that were hurt and dying and bringing them back to life. Trust me, my kitchen has housed many a birdbath that you later got in trouble for." Ma shuttered. "Completely unsanitary." I laughed at her, but she just continued. "I think that Nate is good for you, Leah. Since you've met him, I've gotten more of my daughter back. Leah, you are coming back to us. Don't you think that his family wants to have him back?" I didn't know; I didn't know much about his family. Actually, I didn't know _anything_ about his family. Well, except for Jeanie and Frank.

"Ma, he's been through so much," I whispered. I could hear him whispering the words again in my head. "I don't think I can help him."

"Are you going to tell me anything about it, or do I just need to guess?" I smiled.

"I don't want to tell you anything that I shouldn't, Ma. But it was something that happened to him while he was still a Marine," I admitted. "I don't know how to help him."

"Maybe that's why the spirits put you two together," she said, her hand running up and down my back in that motherly manner.

"Two broken people can't make a relationship, Mom," I said.

"Two negatives can make a positive," she said.

"Not when they're added."

"Leah, you two have problems; I get that." I looked up at her. "But you deserve some happiness, little girl. And somewhere deep down in your beautiful little heart, the little girl who would bring home a broken pet and heal it up in my house is still there. And she's the one that can help Nate. And when she figures out how help make him better, I think that she'll be better two. You're not supposed to be healing him and forgetting all your hurts. But I truly believe that you and Nate will figure out how to deal with everything in your pasts.

"The spirits didn't you give you an imprint who's hurting because you needed to heal him, but because you two will heal each other," she said. She pressed her lips to my temple and smoothed my hair. "I miss your long hair," she whispered. If she only knew how much I missed it. I missed everything about what I used to be. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I'm fine, Mama," I said.

She smiled and looked at me. "You have called me that in forever." I smiled back at her. She was right. I was coming back.

* * *

**I honestly feel like Leah's relationship with her family is so underdeveloped in the books. It is made clear that Leah loves her family, but we don't know anything about them as a unit. And any mom wants their little girl to be happy. Hope you like it!**


	19. Chapter XVIII

**Author's Note: WARNING: they're getting a little intense. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XVIII**

I was lying on the mat, sprawled out and struggling to catch my breath. I had told Leah the truth, but I also hadn't seen her in about a week. When she'd finally texted me, she told met that she was working double shifts. It wasn't that she couldn't be bothered to come and see me, but - I couldn't be mad at her. We had been hanging out, talking more, doing things that couples would do. But I had just told her my darkest secret. Well, not all of it. But it would be like being told that your meat was rancid and buying it anyways. It wouldn't make sense. And it wouldn't make sense for Leah to continue hanging out with me.

I hadn't been able to catch my breath well in the last few days. My heart was literally in pain all damn day. And the worst fucking part was that I wanted to see Leah. Texting her wasn't enough. I wanted her here and I couldn't figure out how to deal with it. I had been attempting the rope for the millionth time that day when the spots appeared in my vision and I dropped the ten feet to the ground. I could hear someone shouting my name, but I was still trying to get air into my lungs.

The anvil sitting on my chest was slowly easing away. I felt a warm had on my cheek. "Nate, are you okay?" Leah? "Yes, Nate."

"Fuck, didn't mean to say that out loud."

"Yeah, well brain damage happens when you fall fifteen feet."

"It wasn't fifteen feet," I argued breathlessly.

"Is anything broken?"

"I don't know, Doc; I just fell."

She sighed and pulled me up a little. I thought that she was pulling me to my feet, which was going to hurt like hell. But Leah shocked me when she pulled my head up to rest on her thigh. She ran her hands up and down my chest, checking my ribs cautiously. "Seems like you're fine," she assured me. But I wasn't fine. I was letting myself get in too deep where Leah Clearwater was concerned. I had decided that I would give us a try and I meant that, but here she was, holding my heading in her lap and I could think of a million things that I wanted to do with her right there. And I shouldn't be thinking that way. "Why are you doing the rope?"

"It's part of my routine," I lied. She glared down at me with narrowed eyes like she didn't believe me. "It hurts," I said after a little while.

"Where?" she asked, suddenly frantic.

"No, not like that. Come on, let's go talk." She nodded and the two of us pushed our way up to our feet and meandered into the little area of that office that I called a bedroom. "Climbing the rope is the only thing that I can't do. It still hurts. Sometimes it just gets to be a little too much." This whole fucking week had been a little too much.

"You should do it if it's hurting you," she whispered quietly.

"It'll get better," I grunted. She sighed loudly and settled herself on my cot. My heart began hammering at the sight of her on the little thing that I called a bed. And it shouldn't. Leah and I weren't that way. With the things that I had told her, we probably wouldn't ever be. But she was a good friend, a good person to talk to, someone that you didn't feel was going to judge you for things that you couldn't change. "You're here pretty late." I had been just about to look up.

"Nice change of subject," she smiled. I grinned back at her, glad to see her lips parted again. "I've been working a lot lately, but I wanted to get down here and see you." I just nodded, settling myself on the mattress next to her. Leah reached over and wrapped her fingers around mine. "I've missed hanging out with you, Nate."

I didn't know how to respond. She'd seemed like she didn't care for so long and now she was acting like she wanted what I wanted from her. "I don't want pity, Leah." She laughed. "What?"

"It's not funny," she continued chuckling, "and I know that I shouldn't be laughing."

"Then why are you laughing?"

"Because you think I have a reason to pity you. Why would I do that to you? If anything, you've proven that you are the strongest person that I have ever met." I just looked at her. "What did you think?"

"What do you mean?"

"You thought about something. I haven't seen you in a week and this isn't the Nate that invited me over and got me drunk," she said. "Come on, out with it."

"I didn't get you drunk, you didn't tell me that you had never had anything before. And even then, you were the one that drank three glasses."

She blushed. "Thanks for taking me home, by the way," she whispered. I just nodded. "But seriously, Nate; what did you think would happen when I saw you again?"

I didn't know if she would come around again. "I don't know, Leah; most people don't want to stick around when they find out that the guy was used like a piece of meat, you know?"

"Nate, you weren't used; you were tortured," she said adamantly. "And I wanted to be here, but I had to work. We've got something big coming up that we need to be prepared for." She didn't look happy about it. In fact, Leah Clearwater looked scared.

"Is everything okay, Leah?" I asked, realizing that I was focusing on me again.

"I wish that I could be different," she said after several moments of silence.

"Why?" I liked her just as she was, especially when she started acting like she cared. "You're pretty great if you ask me."

She smiled a little. "Do you remember when I took you to the bonfire?"

"I mean, last I checked it wasn't that long ago and I don't have dementia or anything." She punched me lightly in the arm. "Yes, I remember."

"You met Sam." I nodded, although I wouldn't really call it a meeting. The dude had been pretty fucking pissed about me being there. "Sam and I used to date," she whispered. I had figured as much. "We were pretty serious all through high school and afterwards. We were really serious. Sam proposed." I wasn't sure how I was supposed to respond to that. I had guessed that there had been something. Maybe this was her way of telling me that she didn't want to do a relationship because she was waiting for Sam to realize that she was it. "I invited my cousin down to La Push because Sam and I were going to elope and we needed a witness. My cousin Emily."

Emily? Wasn't that the name of one of the girls that I had met down at the bonfire? Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was. "There's a lot of shit that I can't tell you about. But ultimately, Sam left me for my cousin." She shook her head and looked away from me. "Emily was like my sister. Other than her, I was surrounded by guys. She had only brothers back at home. It was just us two; we were the only girls in our family. She and I used to be so close. But she didn't even try to tell Sam no. And then she moved down to the Rez and into the tribe. I didn't even know what at to do after that."

This was why she had been so closed off. Everything was starting to make sense. This was why she didn't want to talk to me back when I'd first noticed her. I knew what she felt, I really did. But I wasn't going to tell her about Allie and Scott… not yet. To do it now would only make it sound like I was disregarding what she was feeling. And I wasn't. I just had to hope that we could learn to trust again. But then again, I guess we were. I had told her things that I had never told anyone. Her whole reservation probably knew about her and Sam and Emily, but I doubt that Leah had ever told anyone. There was no need to in such a small town. "I lost the guy that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, the only person that I considered a sister, and any chance of finding love again. I know that sounds like some girly fantasy and I shouldn't let myself have those. But I know what I am. And I'm not someone that guys are going to be tripping over themselves for. I'm not likable anymore."

I couldn't listen to her put herself down. Because she was that kind of girl. Especially when she smiled and laughed and talked about the things that made her happy. She was absolutely the kind of girl that I would fall on the ground trying to get to. I leaned over, reaching across her chest to pull her face to mine. I knew that I was taking advantage of the fact that she was vulnerable and upset, but I needed her to understand that she was so much more than she had given herself credit for. "I like you," I whispered, pressing my lips against hers.

She was shocked for a moment and then she started to kiss my back. I almost laughed when she pushed me back onto the bed. I didn't mind being underneath her. She had to lean over to keep kissing me, which meant that every carefully sculpted part of her chest was pressed against the length of mine. I ran my hands up the soft skin of the back, most of it exposed by her lack of shirt. She shivered against me and I just kept going. God this was fantastic, better than anything that I had ever shared with Allie. Leah and I just felt right.

She slipped her hand underneath my shirt, but I quickly grabbed her hand. It was natural, an instinct. I didn't want anyone to know about them. I knew that I had already told Leah, but the involuntary muscles in my arm had stopped her. She pulled away and reached up with the hand that I wasn't holding. "It's okay," she whispered, her fingers finding their way to my hair. I slowly released her hand. She slid it up my chest, tripping over each and every scar and sending delicious shivers through my body. "It's okay," she whispered again, moving down to my lips and kissing me again.

My hands trailed over her back, exploring her spine and waist while she mapped my chest. I couldn't believe we were doing this. But it just felt right, like nothing could ruin what we had going. She moaned into my mouth but it quickly turned into a growl. She slowed our kiss, but I wasn't sure why. The door to the office clicked open.

"Well, that's not exactly what Allie said you looked like when she got back home."

Fuck.


	20. Chapter XIX

**Author's Note: Let it all begin, ladies and gentlemen. I hope that you all enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

**Chapter XIX: ****_Leah's Point of View_**

"I like you," Nate whispered in the brief moment before his lips were on mine. I hadn't really thought that he would actually kiss me. I would be lying if I said that I hadn't been thinking about kissing him. Especially when he took me home that night. I was lucky that I'd still had control of my tongue after the wine. I felt kind of foolish for drinking and getting drunk, but his aunt had had much more than I did.

I kissed him back, feeling the fire burn my skin. His mouth was moving slowly but steadily against my own, as if he was trying to imprint my taste in his brain. God, if he only knew that he was imprinted on mine. My brain switched off as I felt his tongue against my lips. I pushed him back, hoping that he would let me control this. He smiled against my lips. I couldn't believe that we were doing this. I had just poured my heart out about the one thing that haunted me the most and here we were, making out on his bed like a couple of horny teenagers.

He laid back and trailed his fingers up my back, sending me into what could've been a seizure. But damn was it ever amazing. And to think that I had been regretting wearing only a sports bra to come and see him. I could only imagine what he had been feeling before I'd gotten there. It had been a week and it had been the longest week of my life. As soon as Sam announced that there wouldn't be a meeting with the Cullens, I'd phased and ran to the gym without a second thought as to what I would wear. I probably should've but a shirt on. But as his hand stroked my back again, I was glad that I hadn't.

Tempted in my own way, I trailed my nails down his shirt until I'd reached the hem. I had felt the scars before, but that had been for something completely different. That wasn't for pleasure, but for comfort. I had just fumbled over the first scar when his rough hand wrapped around my wrist and pulled it out from under his shirt. I guess I'd have to both comfort and please at the same time. I pulled away from his lips and reached up to toss his soft hair in my hand. Holy God, it was everything that I had dreamed that it would be. I had messed with his hair before, but never when I'd had time to appreciate what was underneath my fingers. "It's okay," I whispered, trying to tell him that I knew what was there without ruining the moment. Finger by finger, his hand released my wrist until it had made its way back to the hem of his shirt.

I slid it up, feeling the uneven scars under my hand. I could hear his heart pounding in his chest as I made my way up his scars. He trembled underneath and I fought the urge to least I made him feel like he made me. "It's okay," I assured him. I kissed his cheek in the brief moment before my mouth was back on his. His fingers pinched at my waist a little, his callouses rubbing against my unscarred flesh. He nipped at my lip and I moaned, but it wasn't long before a scent that I didn't recognize hit my nose. The smell and heartbeat came closer and I knew that we were going to be interrupted. I growled at the lost opportunity.

I prepared myself to break away, but the person was closer than I had thought. The door opened and I pulled away. "Well, that's not exactly what Allie said you looked like when she got back home," the guy said. Nate sat up as I pulled away from him. He growled, sounding more animalistic than any of the wolves that I'd ever heard. He pushed me back against the wall, shielding me from whoever the guy was.

"What are you doing here?" he snapped.

"Nate," I whispered, trying to get his attention. I was roundly ignored.

"Allie led me to believe that you were torn up," the stranger replied. "But from the looks of things, I would say that you're fine. Who's the chick?"

"She's not a chick," Nate said before I could. "And it doesn't matter to you." Why didn't I matter? And who the fuck was Allie? "Why are you here?"

"Your friends care about you, Nate. We all just want you to come home," the guy replied.

"Nate," I called again. Still nothing.

"I have friends here. Friends that don't pull the shit that you and Allie did," he snapped. "Come on, Leah. We should leave before he gets it in his head that you're the one that he wants now."

He wrapped his hand around mine and pulled me off the bed, leading me out the door of the office. "It's not like that Nate," he called be him.

"Fuck you, Scott." I knew the risks of taking him out in the forests, but it couldn't be all that bad if I was right there with him. I could protect him from anything. He was muttering under his breath as I led him to the deeper part of the forest. Once he was sure that we weren't somewhere that_ Scott_ could still hear him, he spoke up. "That little fucker comes in here and looks at you like your some fucking piece of meat. And he thinks that he can just come around after the shit he's pulled."

I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him to a stop, using minimal force. "Who was that, Nate?" I asked.

"My fucking brother," he snapped.

"I thought you said your only brothers were the ones in the Corps," I said. He had lied to me.

"No, I told you the only ones who mattered were the ones that I served with." That's what he had said. "Because Scott doesn't matter, Leah. At all."

"Then why is he here checking up on you? He sounded like he cared," I said. I couldn't imagine my life without Seth. The kid was a pain in the ass sometimes, but he was the one person on the Rez that treated me the same after Sam and Emily. Even my mom started tiptoeing around me, afraid that I would spontaneously combust. Seth didn't care. He laughed and smiled and joked just the same, even if I didn't care to give him a response. Nate's brother had clearly come all the way from Montana because he cared.

"He doesn't, Leah; trust me."

I sighed. "Nate, what if he does?" Why couldn't he be open to this idea?

"What happened to no judgement Leah?" he barked. I balked.

"I'm not judging -"

"You want to know why not?" He reached into the mesh pocket of his shorts and dug out his wallet, handing me a crumpled, folded piece of paper. "Read that and tell me if he fucking cares." He folded my fingers around the paper and stormed back into the gym. _Dear Nathan, I just want you to remember that I love you more than I can express. We've spent so many years together. You know me better than anyone. I will always be thankful for the things that you've done for me. But I can't do this anymore, Nate._ I wasn't reading a Dear John, was I? No one could be that cruel to someone.

I read the letter quickly until a name popped into my sight. Scott. _Scott and I were there for one another, to remember you and laugh at all the things that we remembered doing with you._ This wasn't happening like I thought it was, was it? Nate hadn't said anything about it yesterday when I'd told him about Sam. And wouldn't you tell someone if what I was thinking was the case? Because Nate having been left via Dear John would've leveled the playing field. At least then he would understand how I felt.

_Anyways, Scott and I would get together and drink beers I your truck whenever we got lonely and it just turned into something else. I'm sorry, Nate. I never meant for it to happen this way. It wouldn't be fair for me to string you along. _This was like reading about my life. I could hear Emily and Sam saying these words to me that day on the cliffs. This couldn't be real. The spirits couldn't have found someone this perfectly shattered.

_Scott and I are planning a wedding next summer. It would mean a lot to both of us if you could come, if you could support us in this. I just don't want to hurt you anymore, Nate. Please don't forget that we love you, that we'll be waiting for you when you get home next month. It's been too long since we've seen each other, Nate. All my Love, Allie_.

Except he hadn't gone home, he'd come to Forks. He'd come and met me. And here I'd thought that his painful past was going to end with his torture as a Marine. He was right, I had judged him. I had assumed that he was mad at his brother for no real reason. But I was wrong. I didn't want people telling me how to act around Emily and I wouldn't do that to Nate. He was right; no judgement. I folded the letter up the way that he'd had it and clasped it tight in my hand.

I walked back into the gym to find him on the rope, the only exercise that still hurt him. His arms were shaking with fatigue as he went hand over hand to get to the top. And then his arms gave way with a groan and he dropped to the ground, panting to catch air, but was more likely to catch flies. I rushed to his side, trying not to act like a possessive wolf. Harder than it sounds, let me fucking tell you. "Are you okay?" He nodded, still trying to get air. I wrapped my hand around his, locking thumbs, and pulled him up, slowly, to a sitting position.

I waited until he was back to normal to hand him the letter. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I didn't know. Not that I had a way of knowing when _someone_ fails to mention the detail." He didn't say anything. "I mean, you could've told me when I told you about Sam."

"I didn't want you to feel like I was saying you shouldn't be upset or like my situation is any worse that yours. It didn't seem like the right time. I wasn't planning on my _brother_ being here," he said. "I'm sorry if I said anything wrong. I just wanted to get him out of my home."

"You haven't been back since you came back from Iraq, right?" He nodded. "And they're why, right?"

"Yeah; it's like you say. Small towns thrive on gossip." And there would certainly be plenty. And the sad thing was, it didn't matter if he went to the wedding or not. People would talk either way. "You think maybe we could _not_ talk about Scott and Allie? I'm going to have to eat a late dinner with him tonight."

"No you won't," I said, touching his arm. "Come home with me. I have no other way home. And if you're down with me and my family, then you won't have to spend time with your brother."

"You think I let Scott come down here to get you back by himself?" I turned to see a girl with long black hair and dark black eyes in her wide face.

"Allie, I'm assuming?" I whispered to him. He nodded. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to the newest cow in my life. I might hate her more than I hate Emily.


	21. Chapter XX

**Author's Note: There is some language in this chapter; more so than in the other chapters. But I hope that you all enjoy anyways. ****_I_**** think they're making progress. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter XX**

"I thought I told you that I'm not going back," I snapped. She had no reason to be here. I had made it quite clear. Leah kept her hand on my shoulder.

"I thought that you might have changed your mind, Nate. It's been months since you've been back. We all miss you." I didn't say anything. Leah was shaking a little beside me. I reached over to pat her thigh. "We're getting married real soon, Nate. I know that it would mean a lot to Scott if you would be there with him. You mean a lot to both of us," Allie said, pushing her hair over her shoulder.

"Enough that you both fucked him over," Leah said beside me. Allie's mouth dropped open in disbelief. Leah looked up at me like I was going to silence her. I was stunned that she'd said something, but I wasn't going to stop her. Girl had a mind of her own. And I had learned right after I'd met her that I didn't get to talk for her. Or tell her when to stop.

"Who are you again?" Allie asked in her fake sweet voice that she saved for what she considered the charity cases at our high school.

"Leah Clearwater," I answered. "Back off Allie; she's an actual friend." A small smile played at Leah's lips. I wasn't sure what else I should call her. We hadn't talked about that and I didn't want to be presumptuous. But she was still sitting here, her hand on my shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze. She knew the general details about everything now. She would no more, I would have to tell her eventually. But it was shocking enough that she was still sitting here with me.

"Nathan, Scott just wants to talk to you. That's all he wants. Why don't you just give him a chance to explain himself?"

"Explain what? Why are we even talking to them, Nate? She wrote you a God damn Dear John," Leah spat. She was right. I had no reason to talk to them.

"I'd like to get to have a little _chat_ with your girlfriend here," Allie said. Leah narrowed her eyes. "Please."

Scott appeared in the corner of my eye, Frank right behind him. "It would mean a lot to me if you two boys would talk," Jeanie said from her spot behind both men. Frank looked at me and nodded.

I looked at Leah with dead eyes. "I'll never hear the end of this if I don't go talk to him before we leave." She rolled her eyes.

"They don't deserve your time," she growled.

"Don't kill her while I'm gone, kay? I don't feel like cleaning up blood tonight." Her lips twitched. I walked out the back door and into Jeanie and Frank's house. Too many breakables. I continued out into the backyard.

"We were hoping that you'd come home on your own; that we wouldn't have to come get you. How's it going?"

"It's going," I replied, looking down at the stone that Frank and I had laid for Jeanie's dream garden.

"Don't give me that shit, Nate. Allie said you were real messed up last time she was out here," he tried again. He was always the more emotional of the two of us. I just didn't care about what he had to say. And I hadn't been messed up. I just didn't care about anything either of them wanted to say. "Maybe we could go somewhere else, you know? Grab a beer or something?"

"I don't drink." Not with him. "What do you want?"

"You don't want to go find somewhere to sit down down at talk things over? It's been a while."

"I'm good." There was an awkward silence that fell between us and I had no intention of breaking it. He could go back to fucking my ex-girlfriend for all I cared.

"Fuck, Nate. How was I supposed to know that I loved her? I didn't know things were going to happen like they did," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I didn't know what to do about it."

"Nah, but you know what I wanted to do," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "You knew that I wanted to get home and marry her. You chose the girl."

"She's not just some girl. I love her, Nate. I want to marry her. See," he reached into his pocket and pulled out some picture of the two of them in the forest. "I love her Nate. We're a family. You're our family."

"And who are you again?" I asked. I knew I was being a dick, but I didn't care. I didn't have anything nice to say to him.

"I'm your brother, man," he said, looking hurt.

"I didn't know you were in the Corps," I said with a deathly glare. "All my brothers were in the Corps."

"Come on, Nate. Don't be that way!" I started walking away. "I was looking for someone that I could commiserate with, someone other than Ma. You're just not going to forgive me? You're going to pretend that we aren't family? We all miss you. Ma misses you."

"You don't get to talk about her," I said, slowly turning to talk to him. "You just don't. Because I'm sure that you still haven't told her, right? What would Pops think about this?"

"You are not the only one who suffered!" he snapped. "We all hurt over losing Pops."

"You just chose to take what wasn't yours to begin with. I did what he always wanted us to do, what we were too selfish to do. You, I don't even know what to say to you Scott. We can talk about this after you've talked to Ma about it. Are we finished?" I didn't wait for his answer. I just turned and walked into the house.

Jeanie was standing just inside, wringing her hands around themselves. "We talked," I growled, brushing past her to get to the gym.

"You might want to grab you girl," Frank said to me as I stalked passed him. Allie was lying on the mat, her high heeled boots digging holes into the padding. Leah was sitting on top of her, her hand poised for a punch.

"Did you not hear me earlier?" I asked her as I got closer. A few months ago, I would have sprinted over to keep Leah from hurting Allie. I just didn't care about her anymore.

"I wasn't going to kill her," Leah said her hand falling to her sides.

"Weren't we going somewhere?" I asked her. She rolled her eyes and pushed off Allie.

"You're a fun sucker, I hope you know that," she said as I got closer. I wrapped my hand around hers and pulled her out to the parking lot. "I really wasn't going to kill her," she promised. "She was just being a bitch."

"And you have a tendency to overreact," I said, not adding that it was especially true when it came to relationships.

"I call it being well prepared," she replied. I pulled her door open and waited for her to get in and buckle up before closing it and running over to my side of the car.

"Are you sure it's okay if I, uh, just show up at your house?" I asked as I started driving the now well known road to La Push.

"My mom will be ecstatic that you're coming over, Nate. She might have a bigger crush on you than I do," she said with a laugh.

"You got a crush on me, Clearwater?" Leah Clearwater blushed a scarlet red and looked out the window.

"In your dreams, Marine," she whispered, but it didn't sound like the normal bitchiness that she had in her voice. We were silent for a while, but it wasn't the uncomfortable silence that you would expect. "So, uh, why'd you date her? I mean, she's a bitch."

"You want to talk about Sam?" I asked her. I wasn't going to do this shit. I couldn't. Not unless Leah was going to give something back. And even as I thought the words I felt like an asshole. I was asking so much of her already just in asking her to be around me after everything. Frank was right, I was one seriously fucked up guy. Forget rancid meat, I had maggots on me.

"No," she said almost instantly. "So I guess I shouldn't be asking you about them, huh?" She smiled to herself, but I just nodded. "You were right about earlier, Nate. I was judging you without knowing the situation. And I'm really sorry. I'm really _really_ sorry."

We arrived at her house before I could answer. I jumped out of the car and ran over to her side to open the door. But instead of giving her chance to get out, I pulled her out and into my arms. "It's fine, Leah. It's really fine." Her face fell against my chest as her hands wrapped around my waist. "Thank _you_ for being there, Leah. For being right there and for giving me a place to go."

She nodded against my chest and looked up at me. "You know, there's something that I haven't told you," she whispered, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. I cocked an eyebrow and stared at her with a question in my eyes. "It's my birthday next week." For the first time in over three years, I found myself thinking about the things that I could do for her birthday. "Six days, actually." Well, knowing the day would make it easier to plan something for her.

"Is there anything that you want?" I asked, surprise that Leah was still in my arms.

"Something that I haven't wanted in a long time, actually," she whispered. I gave her the same look that I had a moment ago. Her cheeks were bright red. I didn't know that someone with skin as dark as hers could blush that red. "I think I want you to kiss me, Nathan Crowe."

I didn't need anything else from her. I tipped her chin up to me. I touched my lips to her cheeks, then her forehead, then her nose, and finally gripped her lips between mine. This wasn't like the other kisses that we'd shared. I wasn't in pain and forgetting where I was like I had been the first time. I wasn't trying to convince her that she was amazing, like I had been only moments ago. No, this time it was what _she_ wanted. And knowing that I had finally made some progress was better than anything that I had ever experienced.

Her hands remained clasped around my waist while my hands cupped her rosy cheeks. She kept her arms wrapped tight around me, pressing her chest against mine. After what could have been an eternity of bliss that I hadn't felt in ages, I pulled away. Leah pressed her forehead against mine before I could get much distance between us. "Happy early birthday," I whispered. She just smiled.

"Gross, dude; that's my sister," Seth said from the front porch. And moment gone.


	22. Chapter XXI

**Author's Note: I'm kind of happy with where this is going, especially since I know what's going to happen in just a few short chapters. Anyways, thanks for the reviews and follows! They definitely make it easier for me to think of things to write. Enjoy!**

**Chapter XXI**

I was worried that Mrs. Clearwater might not want me to be around, especially after her son had caught me kissing her daughter. But Leah and I had walked straight into the house when she'd let me go. Despite the fact that my brother was sitting in Forks waiting for me, I was happier than I had been in ages. Leah Clearwater was definitely the girl of my dreams. There was a part of me that was worrying that I was letting myself get it too deep where this girl was concerned. But damn if she wasn't everything that I could ever imagine in my life.

"Nate!" Mrs. Clearwater exclaimed, stepping forward. She stood up tall and put a hand on one cheek and kissed the other one. I knew that she wasn't wanting to make me feel uncomfortable, but the motherly atmosphere that surrounded me only made me miss my own mom. "I'm glad to see you. You haven't been around in a little while."

"Ma, he needs a place to hang out for a little bit," Leah said from behind me. "I'll be down in a minute."

"I don't mean to impose, ma'am," I said quietly. "Leah assured me that it wouldn't be a problem."  
"It's no imposition, Nathan. I'm glad that you came down here." She smiled at me and turned her attention to her stove. "Is there anything that we can talk about to make things better?" There was a part of me that reverted to the little boy instead of the Marine. For a brief moment, I wanted to be a kid and tell Mrs. Clearwater everything. Of course, that feeling was quickly stifled by asshole that I was.

"No ma'am," I said with a smile. She looked at me with those eyes that seemed to see right through me.

"Well, I hope that you're not lying to me," she said. I just smiled and shook my head. She turned around and moved towards the pantry. She pulled it open, only to have it fall right off its hinges. "Oh for the love of God!" she screamed.

I lunged forward to grab the door from her hands. "If anything else in this God damn house breaks," she muttered under her breath. I looked at the wood in my hand, where the constant use and improper installation had caused the wood to strip from itself and the screws had fallen out.

"Are there some tools, Mrs. Clearwater?" I asked. She turned back to look at me like I was speaking Latin to her. "I can fix the door, ma'am." She just kept staring at me and then her eyes started to sparkle like she was going to cry.

She cleared her throat and pinched at her nose. "Just through the backyard, there's a shed. It has all the tools that my husband had," she said. I realized then what I'd hit. My mom had gone through the same thing when she'd lost my dad. It was hard to let other people use their things. Or to be the one that was going to have to use the things. Using my dad's things for the first time was one of the hardest things that I had ever done.

I held the door under my arm and marched out the door with determination. Seth was sitting on the back porch, holding an old football in his hands. "You still grossed out?" I said.

"You break the pantry?" he asked, looking up at me. "And yeah, I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight." He was still a happy little kid, but I could tell that he was thinking about something.

"You ever fixed a door?" I asked, gesturing to the wood under my arm. He shook his head. "I could use some help." He put the football down in front of him and jumped up. "Your mom said there were some tools?" It wasn't _my_ dad's shit that I was going to use. It was the harsh reality of losing a parent. Seth was the man of the house now. His dad's stuff was his and he needed to make the decision.

"Yeah, they're in my dad's old shed," he said, leading me towards the shack and looking down. I wouldn't have guessed that a kid that was as happy as Seth would be so quiet about this. So he needed a little more help than I'd realized. Wonder if his mother knew about this.

He pushed the door open and stepped inside, brushing some cobwebs away from the area. "He's got a lot of stuff in here," Seth said. "What are we doing with it?" He pointed a finger towards the door.

"We're going to have to work around these holes that are here," I said, showing him where the screws had been placed against the grain of the wood. "The screws were going in this way," I tossed the door up on the work bench and pressed a screw into the hole to show him where it had broken the wood. "If it had been a longer screw, it would have cracked the door."

I grabbed some screwdrivers from the drawer and headed back to the house. Leah looked up at me right as we walked into the house, a smile on her face. She was beautiful, breathtaking. Her long legs were barely covered in a pair of denim shorts. She was wearing a pastel pink that just looked stunning on her. The little crease of her cleavage showed modestly at the top, but it was enough to have me dreaming of her skin under my hand again. She pushed herself down off the counter just as Seth finished taking the hinges off the pantry. "Why don't you get the other door, Seth? We'll check it while we're working on the other one." He nodded and put the hinges in his pocket before moving to the next one. Leah jerked her head to the backdoor and smiled a little wider. "I'll meet you back in the shed."

"I don't want to catch you two again," he said in a fatherly way. Leah smacked his head, the sound resonating in the kitchen. Mrs. Clearwater rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the bread dough that she was working on. But even then, you could still see the smile on her lips.

"Thank you," Leah whispered when we made it to the table in the backyard. I just stared at her. "For working with Seth," she explained. "He doesn't really have anyone like that right now."

"What about all your brothers?" I asked. The Corps raised me after my dad left.

"They're his friends and they care, but we all work together," she sighed. She pushed off her chair and walked around the beautiful garden. "It's hard for him, I know that. He doesn't really have someone." I didn't have anyone either, but I squelched it all in the Corps.

I walked to where she was standing and grabbed her shoulders. "You miss him," I said, realizing that we weren't talking about Seth anymore. She didn't have anyone either. I could be that for her. I wanted to be that for her. And if being that for Seth was going to help her, then I would do that too.

She shuddered when I grabbed her and kind of collapsed against me. It was too serious of a moment to smile and be happy that the blind were leading the blind somewhere. I was finally getting somewhere with her. "Yeah," she finally breathed. "It - I," she stuttered. "Seth won't have the things that I did, you know? My dad won't be around to teach him things." I nodded.

"But you can," I told her. She turned around and looked at me. "You can teach him the things that you remember your dad teaching you."

The screen door opened then and Seth came meandering out. "Ma wants you," he said. Leah nodded. Seth continued towards the shed.

"Thank you," she whispered, squeezing my hand as she walked away.

I explained what I was doing to Seth, letting him help reset the other door. We were dusting off the table and holes where we had just put the hinges when he looked at me. "Where'd you learn all this?" He smacked some big, goofy grin on his face.

"My dad," I said. "He used to make me help him with everything around the house. He used to tell us that a man should be good at everything in the house."

"Sounds like something my dad would say," he said, stopping what he was doing.

"From what Leah's told me, they were very similar."

"Where's your dad?"

I didn't clear my throat like I normally would. I didn't turn an look at him because I didn't need him to see it. "Dead. He died a few years back." I remembered the wound being fresh and wishing that someone would let me know that things would be okay again. I didn't know much about Seth or the Clearwater family, but I knew what grief could feel like. No one's grief was the same. But I could remember what it felt like for me. Maybe Seth will feel something like I did. "Your mom will want these back on the pantry."

"Nate, Seth, dinner's ready," Mrs. Clearwater called just as we were getting ready to leave the shed.

Leah was walking around the dining room table, laying out plates and silverware. Seth and I got the pantry doors on in record time, testing them a few times before deeming them good enough. "Thank you boys," Mrs. Clearwater said, carrying a large plate of something that just smelled delicious.

There was laughter and teasing and a little violence while we ate. It was good to see Leah here. She was smiling and laughing. I was getting in too deep and I knew it, but I wanted to be the one that put that smile on her face. "I'll get the dishes, ma'am," I said when Mrs. Clearwater stood with all the plates. I took them from her arms. "After all, you and Leah did cook."

She snorted. "Leah talked, I cooked," she said. I just smiled and her and walked back into the kitchen to start the dishes. I hadn't been in there very long before Leah joined me, jumping up onto the counter.

"Question, can you smell anything through that brown nose?" she asked.

"My mother raised me right." I shrugged. The dishes were quickly finished and I was staring at the clock in the kitchen. "I should probably get going."

"Why don't you just crash here tonight? We've got a couch."

"Are you just going to keep inviting me over here without your mom's permission?" I asked her. I couldn't just crash on her couch for the rest of the week. "I have to go home, Leah. I can't just avoid the problems."

"Then I'll go with you. We already know that _Allie_ doesn't like me." She sneered my ex's name like it was lower than the dirt on the floor. "Let's see how Scott does." She was smile with an evil gleam in her eyes that made me laugh.

"I got this Leah," I said, moving to stand in between her legs. I didn't want to push, but damn it she was… I don't even know. I slowly brought my hands to her hips and scooted her closer to me. She rested her hands on my shoulders. "I'm kind of forgetting when your birthday is," I lied. "I wouldn't want to forget to give you your gift or something."

Her eyes lit up as she realized what I was saying. A slow smile spread over her mouth as she lowered her head to meet mine. "I think your getting greedy, Marine," she whispered. I kissed her then, not willing to wait any more. It was so right, so good. "You should definitely stay," she murmured, pulling me back against her mouth. I chuckled.

"I have to leave, Leah," I said, although it was getting harder to do so. "It's been a long day, for both of us." I brushed my lips against her cheek. "And I think there's been enough brother shit today, so let's just hold off on you meeting Scott officially."

"Thanks, again. You don't know how much it means to my mom," she said.

"We're going to have to talk real soon," I said, thinking that I liked kissing her just a little too much. And we had both been hurt in our own ways. I wasn't going to let that happen to her again. "About this," I said, bringing her closer as I did. "But I have to get going." She nodded and I kissed her cheek again. "I'll see you tomorrow."


	23. Chapter XXII

**Author's Note: Here we go everyone! I know it's a little mushy, but I enjoy the mush. Oh and there's a dream that happens. Now, I don't denote the dreams with varying fonts or anything. My characters often feel like their dreams are realities. I try to trick you, or at least confuse you depending on the context, into believing that it was real. Anyways, let me know what you think.**

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**Chapter XXII**

"Nate, we just want to talk to you," Allie said the moment that I walked in the door of the gym. I ignored her words and pushed past her.

"Don't be a dick, man. We're trying to talk to you!" Scott said. Well, the asshole actually screamed at me. I just didn't give a shit.

"We talked."

"Okay, well what if we don't talk about that then," Allie suggested, pressing her hand against Scott's chest and wrapping an arm around his waist. There was a part of my brain that wanted to gag, but the majority of my brain didn't care.

I wasn't mad that my ex was with my brother I was fucking livid about the Dear John, about the betrayal. But the reality was: I'm not a pussy. Other people had gone through this shit and made it through it just fine. And I've found something bigger and better than anything I could've imagined in my life. "Who's the girl?" Scott asked.

"None of your concern," I grunted.

"She yelled at my fiancee," Scott returned. I just quirked an eyebrow. "That's my concern."

"Leah says what she wants when she wants. I'm not her keeper," I said. I could only imagine what Leah would be saying to my brother if she could hear him. She'd probably hit him. And I wouldn't stop her.

"Okay, well_ Leah_ still shouted at me, Nathan," Allie spoke now. Maybe Leah was right; I should've stayed with her. I just rolled my eyes and kept walking to the place I called a bedroom. I think the Clearwater couch was wider than my cot. Although after this afternoon, the memories on the cot would make sleeping a little better. Allie followed behind me despite Nathan's protests. "Nate, whoever that girl was, she called me a home-wrecker!" I ignored her. "You wouldn't believe the things that came out of her mouth."

"No, actually, I would," I told her. I could believe just about anything Allie said about Leah. Mostly because I was pretty sure that Leah didn't have a filter. Not when that kept her from offending people. "She's honest, Allie. Now leave."

Scott grabbed my elbow and pulled me around. I winced as I felt the stinging tug, the angle that he was pulling at shooting pain down my spine. "Dude, this is our family too."

"No, it was _your_ family. But Allie has nothing to do with Jeanie or Frank," I said.

"Are you just going to sit there bitter the whole damn time that we're here? Because we're here for you. So quit being a jackass," Scott said.

"I'm not bitter." And I wasn't. I wasn't upset anymore about Allie and Scott. I wasn't sure what I felt, but I wasn't upset at them for what they did.

"Nathan, I would be so -"

"I'm leaving, Aunt Jeanie," I cut her off before she could say anything else. I was a fucking sucker for guilt trips. "I'll be back sometime tomorrow."

I turned around and walked right back out the door. Hopefully I could talk to someone down on that reservation to let me stay with them until my brother left. I wasn't sure where I was going, only that I was heading down to the Rez. I was shocked to find myself in front of the Clearwater house, staring at a place that I was coming to like more and more. It was like going to some place that you would recognize no matter how long it have been since you'd been there.

The front door opened and Leah poked her head outside, her eyebrows furrowed. She pushed the screen away and jogged down the stairs, still wearing only a tank top and shorts. I got out of the car and leaned against the door of the car. "You okay?" Leah asked as she came closer. I didn't say anything. "You being a wimp?" I didn't say anything. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I wasn't mad at my brother and Allie for getting together; I was mad at them for acting like I had died when I left. "You going to say something or should I just sit here and stare at you all day?"

"It's night."

"A fucking genius; that's what you are." I sighed, exhaling hard. "What happened?"

"They just kept trying to talk to me," I admitted. If anyone was going to understand, it would be Leah. She lived down the street from the people that had betrayed her. "I didn't want to talk."

"And you thought that you could just come here, unannounced?" I hadn't thought about how presumptuous I was being. Leah and her family hadn't opened their home to me; Leah had said it in a spur of the moment thing when we'd been kissing. Shit; that was a dick move. Where was I supposed to go now? "Nate, I'm kidding," she said, her hands coming up to rest on my shoulders. "I was just kidding. I'm glad that you thought of coming here." Her hand slid down my forearm to my hand and tugged gently. "Come on."

She marched me into the house without a backwards glance. "Ma! Nate needs a place to stay," she called as soon as the door was shut and locked behind her. Mrs. Clearwater came down the stairs moments later with sheets, blankets, and two pillows in her arms.

"Hello again, Nate," she greeted. She tossed the things on her longer sofa and came up to greet me like she had earlier. "Leah, I have the morning shift at work. Help Nate get his bed set up?" She made the words sound like a suggestion, but there was something about it that told me not to argue with her. Must be a mom thing.

"I don't want to be in the way, ma'am," I said before I was here too long to her to feel like she _had_ to let me stay.

"Nonsense," she said with a wave of her hands. "Leah, get the boy set up. I'll see you all in the morning."

She turned and marched up the stairs, glancing back at Leah and I when she got to the top. "I told you she likes you," she said with a smile. "Come on," she squeezed my hand, "let's get you all squared away." She still had her hand around me and was gently towing me towards the couch. "So, are we going to talk about this or just sleep?"

"What do you want to hear Leah?" I said it a little sharper than I had intended, but she didn't back down.

"I want to know what happened. You were so set on going back there and you weren't even gone an hour. Now, I know I'm incredible," she flipped her bangs out of her eyes, "but I know that something's going on that you're not telling me about."  
"I don't know what to tell you Leah; I'm confused. Does that work for you?"

"Confused about what? Them?"

"I guess; I don't know. I'm not really mad at them for what they did," I told her honestly.

"Just that they didn't care?" We tossed the last blanket on the couch and then Leah sank down on it. "I get it. It's not that they're together. It's that they did it without caring about you. Because you were the one who got the short stick." I plopped down beside her. "At least you don't live in the same town as them now. Trust me; it sucks." I looked down at her, wondering what I should say, wanting to ask her if she wanted to talk. She smacked her hand down on my thigh. "We should get some sleep."

Leah had her hand on the rail when I called her name. "Thanks." She smiled and murmured something or another and walked away. I fell back against my makeshift bed, tossing a blanket over my body. Physically, I hadn't worked out nearly as hard as normal. Mentally, I was exhausted. Between the morning ordeal with Leah, the confrontation with my brother, and all the shit that boiled over afterwards, I was finished.

"Nate!" The whip cracked across my skin again. "Nate, I'm here." I shuddered away from it. "Nate, please wake up." Wake up? What was this? Leah? "Nate, come on."

I opened my eyes to look at milk chocolate eyes that were staring me with such concern and fear that I was sure how to react. "Nate? You're okay, Nate. Can you hear me?" I didn't say anything, just panted for breath. Leah had caught me in shit situations so many times in the last few weeks that I couldn't save myself from embarrassment. She had seen what happens with my injuries. She had seen the scars that I hadn't let anyone else see. But the one thing that Leah had never seen was my nightmares. Hell, I hadn't seen my nightmares but I knew they were shit. I knew they were the testament to my weakness.

She was sitting on the edge of the couch, her hands running through my hair, holding my head still. "You're okay, Nate. You're here with me, okay?" I just kept nodding so that she would forget that I was a broken man sitting in his own sweat on her couch. I was still heaving.

"Did I wake you up?" I asked her when I could breath again. She shook her head. "Did I - uh, did I hurt you Leah?" I knew that I thrashed when I was dreaming, but I didn't know how severe it was. And I'd never had anyone around me at night; not since I'd been deployed. She shook her head again. "Thanks for coming down," I whispered. She nodded now. This was only the first one of the night. If I were to go back to sleep, I'd only be up again in an hour. "You can head back to bed," I muttered.

"You're not going back to sleep, Nate; I know it." I didn't know what to say to her. She'd seen right through me. She lightly shoved me back against the couch and leaned down to lay in front of me. "You can sleep, Nate. I'll wake you up next time you start going crazy." I laid down behind her, unsure what to do with myself. Allie and I had been young when we got to the point in our relationship where we were spending the night. It never worked out in our favor. I always ended up sneaking out or Allie made some excuse to leave. We'd only slept in the same bed a few times.

Leah reached behind her and grabbed my wrist, pulling it over her waist. I kicked the blankets off of me, overheating as I wrapped my arm around her. Well, Leah wrapped it around herself. Her short hair tickled the skin on the underside of my upper arm when she finally laid her head down on my limb. "Go to sleep, Nate," she said, her voice obviously tired. "I'll wake you up," she yawned. I chuckled as she pressed herself back against me and sighed a little.

She'd wake me up my ass.


	24. Chapter XXIII

**Author's Note: Okay, here's the deal people. The IT gods decided that today was the day to curse my computer, which is why the chapter is up late. My computer has been having troubles and was diagnosed with a failed hard drive (sniff sniff). That being said, it is under warranty and will be fixed tomorrow afternoon. Because of this, tomorrow's chapter will be uploaded later at night after I have gotten the stupid thing back from the IT lab. I'm really sorry and I wish that I could do it earlier, but I can't. I promise you that I will get a chapter up tomorrow though. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXIII: ****_Leah Point of View _**

"I'd like to have a little _chat_ with your girlfriend," the new cow said. It was official. I hated her more than I hated Emily. At least Emily had the decency to acknowledge that things weren't okay with us and that they would never be. This bitch thought that she could waltz in here and have everything be okay again. "Please."

"It would mean a lot two me if you boys would talk," Nate's aunt said from her hiding place behind Scott and Frank. Frank looked at me briefly, but then his eyes fell on Nate. He nodded, something unspoken happening that I was clearly not a part of. Nate turned to me, his eyes angry and his mouth set.

"I'll never hear the end of this if I don't talk to him before we leave," he said. Who gives a shit what they think? They had hurt him them and they were only here to gloat in their victory. That's what this bullshit was.

"They don't deserve your time," I told him instead, using my less than threatening voice. At least, I thought it was less than threatening. Then again, I also think that I'm usually a pretty nice person. As long as you're not stupid, or rude, or weird, we'll get along just fine. The bitch in front of us scoffed at my comment, a hurt look in her eyes.

"Don't kill her while I'm gone, kay?" He really has to suck the fun out of everything. The wolf in me wanted to toy with her, to mess with her and make her think that she was going to die and just leave her there. "I don't feel like cleaning up blood tonight." I tried not to smile at his words, knowing that it would break the mean faced façade I had going on. He pushed himself away from the mat and walked through the house. I waited until I could hear the back door that led to Jeanie's patio shut before I turned my attention to the cow.

"How long have you known Nate?" she asked, her voice kind and soft and vomit inducing.

"Long enough." She glared at me again, her eyes narrowing with disdain. "Is there a reason that you all are here, or is it just to rub salt on the wounds?"

The made that annoying sound of puffing air again. "We want him back. You don't know anything about any of us. And you may think that you know Nate, but _we're_ his family."

"I thought fucking your family was incest." This was more entertaining than any of the things that I had ever said to Emily. This bitch gave me a reaction. She would flare her nostrils and huff and growl and I just wanted to laugh.

"We came here to bring him back home where he belongs." He belongs here with me and the people that have come to care about him. He didn't have much experience around the Pack, but he would. And they would like him because he would fit in so well with my brothers. Especially Paul. "We care about him. I love him."

"Just not as much as you love his brother, right?"

"Excuse me?"

"I mean, at the end of the day, you guys want him to go back to Montana but you'll still sleep with his brother and marry him and have his kids. That sounds fair to Nate, doesn't it? But then again, a heartless bitch like yourself wouldn't think about that. I know people like you. And all you do is destroy lives."

"_Excuse me?_" I could see her blood boiling under the surface now. And it only made me want to laugh.

"Wow, I thought homewreckers had more brains than this. I mean, I assumed you weren't all book smarts, but to wedge your way between brothers takes _some_ amount of brains. Guess I was wrong?"

"What did you call me?"

"I called you a homewrecker," I shouted at her. "You know, I know someone who signs. I could probably get him to come down here for you if your deaf and stupid."

"Who do you think you are? You don't know anything about me or Nate or what happened!" She stamped her foot like an impatient child and I smiled.

"You think? See, I'm pretty sure I know exactly what happened." She folded her arms across her chest and stared at me through hateful eyes. "While Nate was off, defending our country I might add, you starting spending more and more time with his family, clinging to the little piece of him that you had left here. But it wasn't good enough. His mother, having been a Navy wife forever, knew how to handle her grief and she didn't want to talk to you, to comfort you, to be the little parent that you wanted her to be." Her eyes went wide as I guessed her story correctly. It wasn't hard; she was a cold heartless bitch who did things for herself and no one else. "So you turned to his brother. What was the asshole's name? Dick? No that's not it; oh, right. Scott. You turned to Scott, hoping he would numb the ache and the pain. A few beers later, you just couldn't help yourself, right? And by the time you realized what exactly you had done, you didn't care. Fuck Nate, right. Well, I guess the correct saying would be fuck Scott now."

She lunged at me and I let her take me to the ground, only far enough to roll us so that I could straddle her. "Did you not hear me earlier?" I dropped my fist and held my arms out akimbo.

"I wasn't going to kill her," I countered. He didn't look upset, which was a good sign.

"Weren't we going somewhere?" I really wasn't going to kill her. I just wanted to break her pretentious little nose. I sighed and moved off the cow, hearing her turn and run into the Dick's arms.

"You really are a fun sucker," I informed him, feeling his hand close over mine. "I really wasn't going to kill her. She was just being a bitch." How do you hurt someone the way they hurt Nate and then come back around expecting forgiveness? That is the center of bitchiness.

"And you have a tendency to overreact." I did not. I reacted within the realm of normal human. I kept my growling to a minimum and I didn't phase. A perfectly normal reaction.

"I call it being well prepared," I said instead. Nate laughed and rolled his jade green eyes. He didn't ask where to, just started driving towards La Push, asking if it was okay that he just show up unannounced. "My mom will be ecstatic that you're coming over Nate. She has a bigger crush on you than I do."

"You got a crush on me Clearwater?"

Shit. Fuck. Damn it. God how I wished that I'd had control of my tongue. That filter system that everyone has in their brains that I never wanted, yeah I want one now. Fuck. I had to think of something to say before he realized that I liked him. "In your dreams, Marine." Mine too.

Why shouldn't I like him? He likes me. He'd said that straight to my face earlier in the day. So I told him about the day that I hated, the day that we didn't celebrate anymore. My birthday.

I probably wouldn't have done that, or been nearly as bold as I was if I had known what he would do later that night. "I'm kind of forgetting when your birthday is," he said from his place between my legs. His hands ghosted over my thighs and I fought for control of the tremors. "I wouldn't want to forget to give you your gift," he added.

I'm pretty sure that I was redder than a fire engine at that point. Still, I couldn't deny that I wanted this, wanted this boy, this kiss, this life. "I think you're getting greedy Marine," I laughed, my lips only a few centimeters from his. As if to prove my point, he hungrily pressed his lips against mine in the most amazing embrace that I had ever felt. I think it was because I was accepting this, him. I wasn't willing to fight and hide behind walls anymore. I wanted to be the little girl that my mother remembered and the person that my father had been proud of. And I was starting to believe that Nate was the key to all of that. He pulled away, tugging my bottom lip with him. "You should definitely stay," I said, pulled his face back to mine.

It was strange to feel so helpless. I was a thousand times stronger than the man that had his fingers digging into my flesh. But I was sitting on the counter feeling him take charge and pull my hips closer to his and wrap his warm lips around my own and I couldn't help but feel his strength. And it was so much more than my own. He chuckled, the feeling reverberating through my body and trickling down my spine. "I have to leave, Leah." No, stay here. With me. "It's been a long day. For both of us." I was just fine. I wanted more of this. His lips were on my cheek, but only for a brief moment. "And I think there's been enough brother shit today, so let's just hold off on you meeting Scott officially." I didn't care about Scott. I wanted him.

"Thanks, again," I said, recalling the mental image of him and Seth laughing and joking while the fixed the pantry for my mother. "You don't know how much it means to my mother." You have no idea how much it means to me. It was good to see my brother learning how to be a man from someone that didn't phase with us.

"We're going to have to talk about this soon." We were. Because I needed to know what I was doing. I needed to hear words and promises and believe that he wasn't going to break them and me. "About us," he clarified, his fingers pulling me just the tiniest bit closer. I could hear his heart beating wildly in his chest and smiled. At least I could still drive someone crazy. I hadn't lost that part of me. He pressed his lips against my cheek again. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I walked him out and watching him drive away, thinking all the while how lucky I was. He was a good guy with a great love for family. I had seen that today with Seth. Only someone who truly understood family would have done what he did. I inhaled sharply as I thought about him. "Mom!" I shouted. "Mom, I need your help!" This was going to be perfect.

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**I know that this may seem repetitive, but it was the only way I could get the talk with Allie the way that I wanted it.**


	25. Chapter XXIV

**Author's Note: Okay peoples, here's the new deal. IT has decided to keep the computer over the weekend because the hard drive didn't arrive until late this afternoon and they didn't have time to get to it today. Now, you all have the choice. Please review and let me know what you would like. I can post chapters late in the evening, when my roommate has finished her work on her computer. Or I can postpone all chapters until I get the computer back. Please let me know what you would prefer. I cannot guarantee the quality of my work, as I'm working off memory instead of actually getting to post what I've written before. But then again, I don't think I'm a very good writer anyways. Either way, enjoy and review to let me know what you'd like.**

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**Chapter XXIV: ****_Leah's Point of View_**

Nate had come back less than an hour later. I wanted to go over to the house and rip his brother and the bitch apart piece by piece. Because somewhere in there was a heart and I wanted to find it and make sure it was still beating. Still, I didn't say much when we were getting his bed set up, too worried that I would let something slip like I had earlier. How had I done that? I shouldn't have been that stupid; there was nothing that I could do to take that back now. I rested my head against the pillow and tossed and turned for a little while. And then Nate's scent burned into my nose and the wolf in me was ready to sit down, to rest and sleep.

"No." The quiet whisper probably wouldn't have woken anyone else up, but the combined fact of the imprint and the wolf hearing made the small syllable rip through the air. Nate? "No, don't." He wasn't begging, simply stating. I booked it downstairs when his strangled cry tore into my chest. I could feel a ghost pain on my back and terror in my heart. Nate was thrashing on the couch, his blankets a tangled mess around his legs. He screamed again, the sound heart wrench.

"Nate," I said, hoping that he would hear me and wake up and we could move on. He cried out again and murmured my name under his breath. The sound literally tore my heart out of my chest. "Nate, I'm here," I assured him. I reached forward to touch his cheek, but he only squirmed away from me. This is what my nightmares were. It was the imprint bond that I had been feeling. The terror that made me want to avoid going to sleep was what Nate felt every single night. "Nate, please wake up." He just kept tossing, landing a solid fist in my rib cage. "Nate, come on." There wasn't any caring in my voice that time, only the command that he awakened.

His eyes opened, but I could tell that he wasn't really seeing anything yet. I moved my hands to frame his cheeks, holding his head steady. "Nate? You're okay, Nate." I could see the water gathering behind his eyes, feel the sweat rolling down his temples and over my hands to join the pool that he was lying in. "Can you hear me?" He didn't say anything, just tried to catch his breath. "You're okay, Nate. You're here with me, okay?" He nodded but I knew that he didn't believe that he was okay. I continued playing with his hair, loving the feel of it under my fingers.

"Did I wake you up?" he asked a few minutes later. I shook my head, trying to spare him any pointless embarrassment. "Did I," he started, trying to look away from me. "Did I hurt you, Leah?" I shook my head again. This was why the spirits had put us together. We weren't negative numbers. We were fucking imaginative numbers, the ones that only cooperated when you adding them together. Nate and I would only ever be okay again with each other. "Thanks for coming down. You can head to bed." Did he really think that was going to work? I knew that he had more than one nightmare. I felt them too.

"You're not going back to sleep, Nate. I know it," I told him, pushing him until his back was against the couch and I could lay down in front of him. "You can sleep, Nate. I'll wake you up next time you start going crazy." I'll protect you. He relaxed a little behind me, but his arms was still stiff as a board against his side. I reached back and grasped his wrist, pulling it around my waist so that it was lying just under the line of my sports bra. He kicked the blankets off so that we were lying with just the sheet to cover us. The wolf in me was happy and content, feeling Nate behind me and holding me like I never thought I would be held. "Go to sleep Nate," I muttered. "I'll wake you up," I punctuated with a yawn. His chuckle shook me and the rest of the couch, but he relaxed and rested his head on his pillow, his chin resting on top of my head.

The sun was streaming through the window when I finally opened my eyes. I smiled a little as I felt a warm body behind me, holding me close to his t-shirt clad chest. I pulled away from him, trying to reach his jacket pocket where I was sure that his phone was. The arm around my waist pulled me back, constricting to the point where even I could feel the strength. My smile stretched a little, realizing that Nate didn't want to let me go. I rested against his chest, feeling his heartbeat against my shoulder blade. There had been no more nightmares last night, nothing to wake him up, nothing to haunt him. And I knew that I hadn't slept that well since I was a child.

I rolled to look at Nate, his face happy and peaceful for the first time since I had met him. There were moments when he would smile and laugh, but it was never really this calm. I wished that we could stay liked this forever; that we could avoid the cows and assholes who had fucked up our lives. But reality was in the way and it would come to find us if we didn't go to it. I reached to lift his arm again, but Nate's eyes popped open, glazed over and staring at the world around him. I rested my head against his bicep. A little more time wouldn't hurt either one of us.

I could feel eyes burning into my forehead when I was next awake. "Didn't your mother ever tell you that it's impolite to stare?" I asked him, peeking through my lids to see him getting a little flustered.

"Sorry; good morning," he said, ducking his head. I cocked my head to the side, taking a moment to fully look at him.

"What's wrong?" I asked. He just grunted. "Nate." I tried to use the tone that my mother had, the one that left no room for arguing. His eyes flashed to mine. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry that you had to be there for that last night. I didn't mean to wake you up and make you feel like you had to stay here for all that shit," he said quietly.

"I wanted to stay here." He frowned. "And I thought we had a no judgment agreement. After what you went through, Nate, no one would be surprised that you have nightmares."

"Terrors," he said.

"What?"

"The doc that I met with said that they're night terrors. I don't remember them, ever. Sometimes I get nightmares where I'm able to recall bits and pieces, but usually I don't remember anything."

I didn't say anything for a while, just enjoyed the feeling of him holding me. But I only had five days to pull shit together and that meant getting rid of Nate right now. "I'm going to make some breakfast and coffee. Shower's upstairs, first door on the left. Seth left you a shirt and some basketball shorts for the day."

He nodded and made a move to release me, but it grabbed his chin in my one hand. "I'm glad that you came here last night. And I'm glad that I could help you at all yesterday." I was expecting his normal grunt, the sound he made whenever things became too serious for his liking.

So I was shocked when he looked at me and whispered, "Me too."

We broke apart and went our separate ways. I fussed around in the kitchen, not really making the breakfast that I had promised, but starting coffee. I waited until I could hear him whistling in the shower before I ran to his things. I threw most of his clothes on the ground, digging and searching until I found it. I tossed everything back in his duffle and made it to the house phone. I dialed quickly, tossing his phone with perfect aim back into the midst of his bag.

I waited impatient to the ringing, hoping that Nate would spend enough time in the shower for me to get this done. _"Hello?"_ I took a deep breath and listened cautiously for Nate upstairs.

"Hi, is this Mrs. Crowe?"

_"It is,"_ she began suspiciously. _"Who is this?"_

"My name is Leah, ma'am. I'm a friend of Nate's."

_"Nathan? How is he? He hasn't called in a few days. Is everything okay?"_ She went into frantic mom mode before I could blink.

"Yes, ma'am; he's fine. But there is something that I need to talk to you about, Mrs. Crowe." I was practically tingling with excitement.


	26. Chapter XXV

**Author's Note: Okay, I'm really sorry to those who suffered from withdraws because I left you all hanging, but I was trying to get this right. Without the other files to have it written just the way that I wanted it, I worry that it will be sub-par at best. But I've chosen to post it anyways. If you hate it, leave a review and I'll be sure the replace it when I get my computer back. If you love it, leave a review and I'll be eternally grateful. So as far as updates go, I will post chapters at night after my roommate has finished her computer. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXV**

I opened my eyes to find the most beautiful person on the planet lying in my arms, her head pillowed against my scarred bicep. Her hands, rough and calloused from all of her workouts, were lying against my chest. Their warmth seeped through my shirt and warmed me to the very core. Her anger, the hard mask that Leah hid behind all the time was gone. Her lips were turned up in a little smile. Pinpricks rippled through my arm, the limb now numb. I flexed my arm, trying to alleviate the pressure, but Leah's adorable little mouth puckered into a pout until she had buried her nose into my chest and sighed.

"Didn't you mother ever tell you that it's impolite to stare?" she asked a few minutes later, her eyes still closed, her voice content.

"Sorry," I whispered. "Good morning." I felt terrible, but so rested. I couldn't remember a time since I'd come home that I had slept so well. But Leah had seen. She had seen me tossing around on my little bed. I'd probably cried out like I usually did when I woke up. And she would no doubt tell her family. I couldn't blame her; I would do the same. That is, if I had family to tell.

So I was beyond astonished when she told me to head to the shower, that she would start breakfast, that she was _glad _that she had been there for me last night. I don't think Leah even understood how much those words meant to me. I couldn't help but think about my mother and how much my mom would like Leah Clearwater. Which then led me to how much _I_ liked Leah Clearwater. She was everything that I could ever imagine wanting. As if that wasn't enough, she was everything that I didn't know that I needed.

I went home later that day, returning the insanity that was Allie and Scott. "Can we talk, man?" Scott asked while I was working on the rope.

"I think we've said everything, Scott," I replied. I was still working my way up the rope and I wasn't going to look down at him. "I have other things to do besides remind you what a dick you are."

"Your girlfriend insulted Allie, Nate. Doesn't that mean anything? Even if you don't care about Allie anymore, even if she's not your girl anymore, she's still your friend," Scott said

"Nah man, she's not. See Leah's my friend," I said. "Last time I checked, we weren't friends anymore, Scott."

"So what about Ma? You just going to ignore her and pretend that she died along with Pop?" He spat on the padded mats. Just another thing that I would have to clean up.

"You're the one who pretends like Ma's dead. You haven't even told her about you and Allie, Scott," I accused, dropping down the ground. "Are you two planning on leaving any time soon? I got shit to do that doesn't involve you two."

"You've built yourself a pretty nice life here, Nate. But this isn't your home. Come home with us. I know that Ma wants to see you. She was real upset that you didn't come home to her," he said. How many times was he going to try and use my mother against me? "Come home with us."

"Or, he could you know, _not_ do that," Leah's voice rang out. I smiled, despite the situation that I was in. "Leah," she said by way of introduction. She stuck her hand out in front of her. Scott took it.

"Scott," he said darkly.

"Oh shit; I thought it was Dick. My bad," she said, pulling her hand back to her side. "Nate, Mom wants to know if you'll come to this thing next week," she said, turning her attention to me.

"Does this _thing_ have anything to do with your birthday?"

"Oh, God, don't use the b-word," she begged. I laughed out loud at that, throwing my head back. "Seriously, Mom wants to know if you want to go."

"Am I'm going to be tortured for information again?" She frowned, her lips lifting in a snarl. "Too soon?" She growled again. "Yeah, Leah; I'll be there. Saturday?" She nodded.

"Are we going to talk or fight?" she asked then, walking towards our usual cage. "Oh and Dick; I mean, Scott, you might want to tell your little girlfriend to steer clear of me. I wouldn't want to break her crooked nose or anything." I rolled my eyes and followed her to the ring.

"Anything specific you want for your birthday?" Couldn't hurt to get some ideas from her.

"I think I already told you," she said, blushing a little. I couldn't just give her a kiss for her birthday. That wasn't good enough. Not for Leah. She had been hurt so much in her past, there had to be something that I could give her that would be better. Leah was someone that had become special to me and I had to find a way to tell her without mangling the words completely. A gift would be the best way to show her that. I just had to figure out what the fucking gift was going to be.

* * *

Saturday arrived before I was really ready for it, but I had her gift all picked out. Scott and Allie were still at the house, sleeping in Jeanie and Frank's spare bedroom and driving me up a wall. I was wearing a long sleeved shirt with one of those little hood things on it, my keys and the gift in my hand. "Where you going?" Scott asked as I left my room that morning, making sure to lock the door. I ignored him like I always did.

"Nathan, where are you going?" Allie asked, jogging up to my side. "Please Nate, our flight leaves in just a few days. Why won't you even consider coming back with us?"

"Because it's not going to happen. Aunt Jeanie, I'm off," I called. She came scurrying out with a card for Leah from her and Frank. "I'll make sure to give it to her," I said. She nodded, kissed my cheek and let me on my way.

The road the La Push, the turns, the bends, had become so familiar over the last four months. I could probably get there with my eyes closed and today was no different. The Clearwater house had become my refuge, especially since Scott and Allie showed up here in Forks and insisted on staying a full week and a half. I crashed here most nights and spent the days with Seth, teaching the kid how to fix up different things around the house. We were going to get started on the plumbing just as soon as we had fixed the bathtub.

The house was a welcome sight, the familiarity making me smile involuntarily. Leah was sitting on the bottom step wearing a pale pink tank top that had a little more shimmer to it than her normal shirt. Her black shorts hugged her ass, reminding me of just how beautiful Leah was. She pushed up to her feet the moment I turned off the car. Today had to be the day that we talked about this shit. I needed to know what Leah Clearwater wanted to be with me. "Who all is here?" I asked.

"How about you start with 'hey Leah, happy birthday,'" she retorted.

I pulled her into my chest, surprising her, and me, with just how forward I was being. "Happy birthday, Leah," I whispered, my lips floating just above hers. "I think I owe you a birthday present." She seemed more excited than normal today. Her hands reached up and grasped my neck, forcing me down to her. And I, the willing captive, complied and kissed her back. I slid my hand down her back, venturing into uncharted territory. I grasped her ass in one hand, pulling her closer until she finally understood. She hopped up a little, legs twining around my waist and clinging to me for dear life. I rested both arms under her backside, supporting her weight.

She pulled away, oxygen a necessity, but I wasn't finished. Careful to avoid giving her any hickeys, I licked, nibbled and sucked my way down her neck to her collarbone before making the circuit back to her mouth. "We should stop," she said breathlessly. I nodded, not yet releasing her mouth. "There are people here that don't need to see this." I knew she was right and I didn't want to risk ruining what I had with her by pushing her too far.

So I chose to ruin it by being a pussy and asking the dreaded question: "What are we, Leah?" She sighed, dropping to the ground, her hands lying limply against my chest.

"Whatever you want us to be," she said, her eyes looking up at me, begging. I leaned down at pressed my lips to hers sweetly, hoping she would understand.

"I want us to be whatever you want, Leah. So you tell me," I said simply. She didn't say anything. I leaned forward. "I'd like for you to be my girl," I admitted. I didn't want to say girlfriend. We were too old for that shit. But I wanted some kind of claim to Leah Clearwater. She beamed up at me, the remnants of rough Leah falling away with her smile. "Is that okay with you?" She nodded vigorously. Well, now was as good a time as any. "I, uh, I have something for you," I whispered sheepishly. She cocked her head to the side.

"You already gave me what I asked for," she countered. "And I already got something else from you." I smiled.

"I wasn't just going to kiss you for your birthday, Clearwater," I said, hoping that I feigned being upset. I released one hand from around her waist to hold the box wrapped in newspaper.

"Beautiful wrapping job," she commented dryly.

"I mean, if you don't want it –" She snatched it from my hand before I could hide them again. I let her walk away from my grasp, suddenly worried about what she would say about the gift. I watched nervously as she slid her nails along the taped line and made her way to the box, finally opening it.

"Your – your dog tags?" she stuttered.

I took a deep breath and prepared myself to explain. "I, uh –You normally give them to someone before you leave. But I, uh, I didn't um really have someone that I, uh –"

"Thank you," she said, slipping the chain that I had put them on over her head and stepping closer to me. She wrapped her arms around my waist and laid her ear over my heart. "Thank you so much Nate."

"You're welcome," I managed to say, although I had no air in my lungs.

"You know, there was one thing that I wanted more than anything for my birthday," she said, looking up at me with that glint in her eyes that made me want to duck for cover. "But I wasn't sure if you would want to give it to me." Hell, I'd give her the fucking moon if she asked nicely. "So I decided," she began, leaving my arms and grasping my hand, "that I would get it for myself." She began pulling me towards a side gate and into the backyard. "But I'm really hoping that you'll like it, too."

It saw only Sue and Seth in the backyard, Seth standing at the grill trying his best not to burn our burgers. There was a part of me that thought that I should go over there and help him. But that all went away when I saw a plump woman with wavy black hair sitting at the patio table across from Sue. She had her back to me, but I would know her anywhere. "Ma?"


	27. Chapter XXVI

**Author's Note: Hello all! I apologize for the cliff hanger yesterday (not really). But it seemed like the perfect place to end the chapter. I hope that you all enjoy today's! **

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**Chapter XXVI**

I looked down at Leah, trying to figure out if this was real. Leah squeezed my hand a little and nodded towards my mother. Everything moved in slow motion as my mother stood from her spot next to Sue and looked at me for the first time. Green eyes that mirrored my own stared at me from behind tears that she was trying so hard to conceal. Leah let go of my hand and took a step away, making just enough room for my mother to wrap her eyes around me. I was stiff as a board, my brain still processing that Leah had brought my mother here. "Nathan," she sniffed, wrapping her arms around my waist tightly.

The sound of my name from her lips seemed to wake me up. I dropped my arms around her and held her tight to my chest, my heart swelling against my ribs. "I can't believe you're here." I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Sue had stood to help Seth not kill our burgers. "What _are_ you doing here?" My mother pulled away from my arms and put a motherly hand against my cheek before she grasped Leah's hand and pulled her towards us.

"This magnificent young girl brought me out here for a birthday part," she said simply. She pulled Leah against her side and I watched with nothing but pride as Leah hugged her back. I wrapped my arms around both of them, holding Leah close to my heart and fighting the emotions that were swelling within me. I had never had anyone care this much about me. I had never had anyone care enough that they would do something this special. I looked down to find my mother snuggled against my chest, tears streaming down cheeks from closed eyes. Leah looked at my mom too and then at me.

I didn't know what to say to her, how to react to what she had done. I pressed my lips to her forehead and watched her eyes fluttered closed. "Thank you, Clearwater," I whispered so quietly, I thought that she might not have heard me. But she did because she rested her short hair against my chest and rubbed her cheek against the fabric of my shirt like a kitten.

"You're welcome, Marine."

It took me a while to be able to let go of either of the women that I was clinging to, but when I finally managed it, Ma and Leah took their spots next to Sue. "So, Diane, Leah tells me your husband was in the Marines?" Sue said.

I walked up to Seth, noticing the little cinders that were our burgers. "I don't think we can save these ones, man," I said, clapping him on the back.

"Mom said to turn up the heat," he countered. "Toss them?"

"Before someone chips their teeth on them." He laughed and tossed them, grabbing more premade patties from in the house. I stood by his side, hoping that he wouldn't kill this batch of them. I could hear the mothers and Leah talking and joking behind me. Everything about this felt right. It felt good to have Leah and my mom and Sue all sitting around. Sue and Ma swapped horror stories about the things that their husbands had done over the years. "Flip those ones," I said pointing to a few in the back corner of the grill. I watched Leah stand and head into the kitchen by herself, a few glasses in her hands.

Her hips swayed as she walked, tempting me terribly. And with my mother around! The things that girl could do to me. I waited until Seth looked like he was getting the hang of it. I mean, it was just flipping burgers after all. After I was certain he wasn't going to kill anyone with raw meat or briquettes, I rushed into the house, unseen by either mom.

Leah was standing on her tiptoes, trying to reach a pitcher on top of the cabinets. I came up behind her, hands falling to her hips and forcing her back to her flat feet. She turned in my arms and I did the only thing that I knew how to do to thank her. I leaned down and grasped her lips firmly between my own, trying to convey every ounce of gratitude in me. Leah licked my bottom lip, shoving her tongue into my mouth when I gave her the tiniest millimeter of opening. I pulled her hips towards me, grinding into her just enough to make her moan into my mouth. She pulled away slowly, but surely. And I let her, pulling her back to me so that I could rest my forehead against hers. "You're welcome," she whispered.

I chuckled. Leah understood me better than anyone that I had ever met in my entire life. She pressed her lips against mine shortly but pulled away. "Remember when I said that there were people here we didn't need to see this," she said with a giggle. I had never heard such a feminine sound come out of her mouth. I reached over her head and grabbed the pitcher that was within my reach, trying to ignore her mouth. I pressed the jug between us, trying to create some space. She laughed again. "I think you should go save our burgers."

The rest of the meal was spent in laughter while we ate. Leah and I kept ribbing at each other throughout the night. Both of our moms laughed, but I noticed Ma looking between the two of us with a little smile on her face. "Nate, why don't you show your mom the cliffs? I'll help my mom with the dishes," Leah suggested after we'd eaten and opened her presents. She fingered the chain that held my tags a little and smiled. I grinned too, glad that she had agreed to keep them. It was a bigger deal than I wanted to admit, but I was so glad that she had taken them. Ma and I rose, walking the well known path to the beach first.

"That's some girl you found yourself, Nathan," Ma said.

"She's something different, that's for sure," I laughed.

"She is at that. I wasn't expecting to get a phone call inviting me out here. And by the time I figured out what she was saying, she'd all but ordered the ticket," Ma said with a little smile on her face.

"Yeah, she can be a little forceful and stubborn." Understatement of the fucking century.

"I've heard some stories about that from Sue. Lovely woman, Sue Clearwater." We fell silent then and I was waiting for her to ask the question I'm sure had been on her mind since I'd called her from overseas. "Why did you come here, Nate? I understood why you left, but I was expecting to get you back. And then I get some phone call and you tell me that you need a change so you're heading straight to your aunt and uncle's."

"I know, Ma; that wasn't fair of me. I probably shouldn't be the one to tell you about this," I said. I didn't like my brother, I didn't respect him. But he had the right to tell my mother himself what he had chosen to do.

"You tell your mother the truth Nathan Richard Crowe." I hated that tone. It was one that made me want to fall on the floor and tell her everything.

"Allie wrote me a Dear John. She told me that she was leaving me because she had fallen in love with Scott," I told her, wishing that I didn't have to say it, that I didn't have to do this. "I couldn't come home and watch them get married, Ma. I thought that I could come here and hang out with Aunt Jeanie and Uncle Frank and get over myself."

"Your brother is marrying Allison?" I nodded, not wanting to look her in the eyes. "I knew that something had changed. I just never thought that Scott would do something like that." It couldn't be easy to accept that your son had betrayed your other son. I dug into my pocket and handed her the letter.

"You can read it if you want; if you don't, Ma. I'll understand."

"Maybe later," she suggested. I just nodded, wrapping her in my arms again. "I missed you Nathan. They kept trying to tell us that you were dead. They couldn't find you for months and the limit ran out and they came to tell us that you'd gone MIA. It was good to hear that you were alive." I nodded. "It would have been better to see this face again after three years," she said in a serious tone that she used to use when she was going to ground me.

"I'm really sorry, Ma." She nodded against my chest. "How long are you staying?"

"Well, your little girl bought me a ticket for two weeks. And if I didn't know where she'd gotten her stubbornness, I would guess it was her mother. Woman took my wallet and told me I would be staying at their house for the whole time," Ma said indignantly.

"Yeah, that sounds like them," I said with a sigh. At least Ma was excepting. I'd had to learn the hard way because I tried to be just as stubborn. We talked then, walking all the way along the beach and circling back to the Clearwater house, just catching up on everything that we had missed out on over the last three years. Well, that I had missed out on.

Leah was curled up on the couch in her flannel pajama bottoms and a tank top, significantly more clothing than she would normally wear. I suspected my mom was the reason for that. I kissed Ma's cheek and watched her disappear into the kitchen with Sue for some wine. "You ready to go?" I asked Leah with a smile.

"Does it look like I'm ready to go anywhere?" she retorted. I pulled her arms away from her chest and clasped my hand around hers. "Mom, the stupid Marine is taking me somewhere!" Leah shouted like a child.

"Okay, Leah, just be back early enough to get sleep for work," Sue called back. I just laughed.

"Not helping!" she screamed back. "Where are we going?"

"Now, aren't birthday presents supposed to be all about surprises?" I asked back. She leveled me with a puckered mouthed look. "Don't you trust me Clearwater?"

"Don't _you_ trust _me_ Marine?" I nodded with surety. "Then tell me where we're going!"

"Oh, come on. It can't be all that bad if I'm taking you," I joked. "Besides, you'll probably guess it before we even get there."

"You're a jackass, you know that?"

I spun around and trapped her in my arms. "And you're a bitch. But seeing as it's your birthday, I'll be nice. Now come on."


	28. Chapter XXVII

**Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed yesterday. I'm glad that it seemed to be to everyone's liking. The family reunion (the official one that is) will be coming up soon. Enjoy!**

* * *

"You're taking me to the place _I_ showed you? Really?" Leah complained behind me. "I mean, maybe if you would tell me what you have planned!"

I kept walking. "I guess it didn't work," I said as the trees started to thin and the cliff came into view.

"What didn't work?" she asked, jumping up to my side curiously. I turned and pulled the chain so that my tags were resting in my hand. I liked seeing her wear them, knowing that anyone associated with the armed forces would know that she was mine. "I was hoping my patience would rub off on you while you were wearing these," I teased, dropping them back beneath her shit.

"Ha! What patience?" she laughed, gripping my hand in hers and bouncing up the hill with me.

"Someone's in a good mood," I commented, noticing her bright smile and overall bounciness. She just smiled a little wider. "Do I get to know what is making you this giddy or should I just start guessing?" I laughed. She just shrugged. Whatever. Leah would do what Leah wanted and I wouldn't make her stop. Especially not when she was grinning like that. I kept walking until we had made it to the cliff, where I had set the blanket out. Just as I'd hoped, the sun was just a little ways over the waterline, getting ready to go down.

"Now, what are we doing here? Or did you drag the birthday girl out here because you felt like it?"

"Come on, whiny bitch," I said, pulling her down so that we were sitting with our legs over the edge. Last time we were here was when I had told her about the capture, about my scars. This time was completely different; this time it was just us. "You told me that you used to sit up here at sunrise, remember?" She nodded, her brows furrowed. She hadn't meant to; it was just something that came up during our sparing conversations. That was when we talked about the most important things. We were so physically guarded, so busy thinking about how to protect ourselves that we didn't bother to keep our guards up. "You never said who it was with, but I'm going to take a wild guess and say it was your dad, right?" She nodded again, her eyes falling a little. "Look, Clearwater, I know that you can't just replace your dad. I get that. That's why we're here at sunset and not sunrise. Someday, maybe it can be sunrise."

"Are you sure you aren't like a shrink or something? Because some of the shit you say is a little too _profound_," she said with a snooty air. I just laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, letting my forearm fall over the curve. She reached up with one hand and traced the scars that were on my wrist and hands. "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer honestly?"

"Don't I always?"

"Who's James? You talked about him in your sleep the, uh - the other night." I stiffened, not sure how much I wanted to tell her about that. James wasn't my secret to tell. I hadn't told her about him, not much at least. Only that we used to be friends. I took a deep breath trying to think about the right way to phrase my next sentences.

"Did you ever have to keep a secret that you were a part of, but it's not really yours to keep?" I asked her. She frowned but nodded slowly, her eyes narrowing a little. "That's what James is. Or was. He and I were friends from the time that we started bootcamp. He was one of the guys that I got caught with that night." She nodded again, her eyes clearing up. "My turn: why did you invite my mom here?"

She looked a little flustered, her lip tucked firmly between her teeth. The sun was starting to set in front of the two of us, casting a nice orange glow over the water. "I don't know, Nate. Seeing you with Seth the other day, how much you were able to help him, and then with my mom and all that shit... I don't know I just thought that it would be nice for you to see your family again. I know that you love Jeanie and Frank, Nate. But you're a mama's boy." I laughed and moved my hand so that her fingers were mixing in with mine. Her other hand moved up my forearm to my bicep, stroking the longer marks that were there. "I thought that you might like to see her again. I know how much you talk to her and how much you love her. I just thought that you might want to see her, that's all."

There was something she wasn't telling me. "That's all, Leah?"

"Okay, I wanted to meet your mom. There; is that what you wanted to hear?" she said exasperated. I laughed and caught her forehead with my lips. "I like your mom, Nate. She's pretty cool." I smiled and chuckled again. "She'll, uh, she'll be staying for two weeks."

"She told me. I don't know how to thank you, Leah. I've never had anyone do anything like this for me." She smiled and muttered something that I didn't quite hear. "Hey," I whispered, wondering why she had suddenly gone so quiet. The sun was getting lower in the sky, half swallowed by the water. "Someday, maybe, I'll tell you about James. But what happened with us isn't my story to tell. But that's the only thing that I have that I can't tell you, Leah. I promise."

She rested her head against my shoulder and nodded. "I have something like that," she whispered. "And I hope that when I do tell you, you won't run away."

"If I was going to leave, don't you think I would've done it _before_ I gave you my dog tags?" I laughed. She didn't laugh with me. "Come on, Leah; I'm not going anywhere. You're, uh, you're great and I, I mean, you -"

"God, Marine, it's not like I'm a terrorist," she laughed. Leave it to me to mangle the fucking words. All I was trying to say was that she was important to me and that she was someone that I didn't want to take for granted.

"Leah, I -"

"It's okay, Nate. I know how you feel." She patted my leg, still holding my other hand. "And this was the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me. My dad was the only one who thought about taking me out here for this kind of stuff. And, uh - Sam tried to bring me out here in the mornings but it just didn't seem right, you know?" I nodded. There were certain things that you couldn't do without your dad. I got that. It's why I didn't do the whole sunrise thing. It was her and her dad's thing and I wasn't going to take that from her. "Thank you for doing this, Nate. You know, this, the kiss, the dog tags, all of it. It's been a while since someone thought about doing stuff like this for me."

"Yeah, well this is the kind of stuff that my mom told me to do for my girl," I said, watching her fingers run over the engraved lettering of my tags. She dropped her hand from the chain and began tracing the scars.

"You know, they're kind of sexy," she whispered with a blush.

"They're kind of ugly," I muttered back.

"Yeah, well that's what my mom used to say about my attitude. So if you can like that, why can't I like them?" I groaned and rested my back against the blanket that I had laid down to protect us from the wet grass. "Come on, suck it up. I like the shit about you that you don't like about yourself. Besides, you think I'm beautiful, which trust me, no one does."

"Hey," I growled, pulling her elbow until she was lying down with me. "Unless you want to hear me bitch and moan about the scars, you don't get to start. Because I can sit here and tell you how fucking gorgeous you are, but I didn't think you were one of those whiny bitches."

"I'm not!"

"Then just believe me and let's move on, okay?" She nodded sleepily against my chest, the sun officially under the water. The night air was chilly and cold, but holding her right there, I wasn't cold.


	29. Chapter XXVIII

**Author's Note: Some drama and a little language warning. Hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter XXVIII**

"So this is your uncle's new place?" Ma asked as we pulled up to Frank's gym. I nodded. "Looks just like the one he used to have," she laughed. I chuckled with her, but there was something so much more important that we needed to talk about.

"Ma, Scott and Allie are here," I muttered. Ma and I had been hanging out, with Leah, for a few days now. And it had been great, actually. I liked Leah being with my mom; I liked having sit down dinners with the Clearwaters and my mother. This was how life was supposed to be. But now it was time to get to the real shit. Ma looked over at me, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "They showed up a few weeks ago, Ma. And they've been trying to talk to me about coming back home." I didn't want to do this; I didn't want to talk to my mother about the shit that had gone down but the reality was that it needed to happen.

"I think that we should all go out and get some lunch together." She said the words like it was just a pleasant day at the beach, but anyone that knew anything about my mother would know that there was no arguing. "Go in and get your brother." I sighed and nodded, getting out of the car.

"Nate, please," Allie said the second that I walked in the fucking door.

"Okay, if I wanted to talk to you Allie, I would have said something when you got here. Where's Scott?" Her eyes narrowed and tears welled up in her eyes, but she still pointed to the other door. I walked in and took a deep breath. "Let's go."

"Go where?" he asked, dropping the picture in his hands. Great; one of those where we were young and sitting together in the old treehouse. That was only going to make him nostalgic.

"Did you want to go or should I just leave now?" He jumped up and grabbed his jacket, sprinting out of the office behind me. I walked him all the way to the car where our mother was sitting there, a steely look in her eyes.

"Ma is here?" he gulped. I just nodded and slid into the driver's seat. After Ma greeted him, there were no more words. We sat silently and statuesque while I drove to the only little diner in the area. Why hand't I brought Leah with me? This would be way fucking easier if I had Leah with me.

"Hey Nate," the girl behind the counter, Destiny, greeted. "Go ahead and grab a seat," she called.

"Come here often?" Scott asked. I just rolled my eyes. He didn't need to know where I spent my time. "I thought you said that you brought me here to talk."

"No, _I_ brought you hear to talk," Ma said from her spot in the booth. "Both of you. I have many things that we need to discuss. As a family." I slid into the booth beside her and across from Nate, deciding I liked the idea of it being _us_ against him.

"Okay, what can I get you all?" Destiny asked as she came up to the table. "The usual Nate? Where's Leah?"

"Leah had work. I'll have The regular, Destiny. My mom will have an Arnold Palmer and he'll have a coke." She nodded and wrote down all the orders, looking over Scott hungrily. "And, uh, get me Leah's to go. I'll bring it by her house for her."

"Sure thing," she called back.

"Ma, what are you doing here?" Scott asked after Destiny had brought back the drinks. "I thought that you were in Montana still."

"Well, I was when you told me you were going on your fishing trip. And then I got a call from one Leah Clearwater who wanted me to come out here because her _friend_ needed to see his mother. She paid for my flight, a shuttle, everything," Ma explained. "But why I am out here is not nearly as interesting as what I have learned."

Here it goes.

Ma pulled the letter that I had given her out of her purse and laid it on the table, shoving it across to Scott. "Did you know about this?" I didn't want to know this. I didn't want to know that my brother had betrayed any more than he already had. Scott nodded. Fuck me. Why hand't I brought Leah here? She would have a better reaction to this shit than I would. Actually, she'd probably kill someone. Probably better that she's not here. "And you're marrying her?" Again, just a nod. "At any point in this, did you think that it would be a good idea to tell your mother?"

I could see my mom's anger rising as she glared at my brother. That was a dangerous look. "I was waiting for the right moment to tell you, Ma. Allie and I never meant to hurt Nate, Ma. This wasn't planned or anything." I didn't say anything; I just stared up at the ceiling. "We really didn't, Nate. It wasn't like we were planning on falling in love. We didn't want to hurt you."

"You just chose to go ahead and do it anyways?" I growled at him. I was spending too much time with Leah. And I didn't want that to change any time soon. "You can say whatever you want, Scott; you didn't care."

"We did, Nate. We just - Look, you're my best friend -"

"Was."

"And Allie and I both missed you, Nate. It was hard for us to just have you gone. It's like Allie said: things just got a little out of hand," he tried again.

"Enough!" Ma said. "Enough." We both fell silent. "I miss the days when the two of you were fighting about who got to keep the snake that you found in the backyard. You two have never fought about girls. I don't - I don't know how to react to this, boys."

Hell, I didn't know how to react to this shit. And that's just what it was. Shit. Scott and Allie had gone out of their way to hurt me, no matter what they said. "I won't have my two boys fighting. I would like to have both of you home with me again." I saw the look that she shot my way.

"I'm not going home, Ma. I'm sorry that this hurts you. I'm sorry that I can't give you what you want. But I won't go home to this, with that."

"That is your brother, Nathan," Ma chided.

"Not anymore, Mom. I wish that I could still call him my brother but I can't. He doesn't deserve the title. He and Allie knew exactly what they were doing," I replied. I watched the hurt look flit over her face. "I'm sorry, Ma. I really am."

"We didn't want to hurt you, Nate. I swear!"

"No. If you guys didn't want to hurt me, you wouldn't have come here at all. I had a good thing going with good people who care about me," I said. "And you want to know how I know that they care about me? Did you bring Ma down with you? No. You didn't even have the balls to tell her that you were marrying my ex-girlfriend. Leah cares about me. Her mother cares about me. So get out of my face, Scott."

"Nathan," Ma exclaimed. "That is _enough_. He is your brother, your family. It was one of the things that your father was most insistent that you boys learn. Family is everything."

"Family doesn't fuck you like he has done."

"Nathan, watch your mouth," she snapped.

"I want to have my brother back, Nate. We want to have you come home with us. Allie and I both want to have you at the wedding. You're our best friend, Nate," Scott shouted.

"No; no I _was_ your best friend."

"Being hurt by their actions, feeling jealous; those are no reasons to be this hateful," Ma chirped.

"I'm not jealous, Ma. Allie chose Scott. Good for them. I'm hurt, okay? While they were doing whatever they were doing, while they were hurting, I wasn't really a thought in their minds. Do you have any idea what it's like to come back from the shit storm that I was in and get a Dear John?"

"What shit storm?" Scott asked. Ma didn't tell him.

"Nate, don't -" Ma began.

"No, he should know. I was taken captive and tortured and almost killed because I was American, because I was standing up for someone else. I was stuck in hell for two and a half months and when I got out, they handed my mail. Complete with the letter that Allie sent me. It was a fantastic welcome back," I snarled. "And if that's what was waiting for me there, why the fuck would I go home where it could only get worse? No; I came here." I shoved up, startling Destiny who was walking with two bags instead of one. "And coming here was the best decision that I have ever made."

"I heard arguing, Nate," the young girl whispered. "I didn't want to pry, but I, uh, I bagged up your lunch." I nodded in appreciation.

"It's fine, Destiny; we're finished here."

"Nate, please," Scott began.

"Finished." He slapped his hand over his mouth in exasperation. "I'll see you back at the Clearwaters, Ma." I tossed her the car keys. "I'm done."

I was done listening, done caring, done loving, done with all of this shit. I didn't know what my mother had expected from this meeting. But whatever it was, I had learned that caring wasn't worth it. Not now, not then, not ever.


	30. Chapter XXIX

**Author's Note: Okay, here we go. I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think.**

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**Chapter XXIX:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

"You have to tell him Leah. The battle is coming up. You need him to understand what is going on with you," Sam was telling me. I forgot. _This_ was why I didn't eat lunch and dinner with the Pack. It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with Sam. I'm pretty sure it goes against some rule to hang out with your ex as much as I am forced to do.

"Nate won't care why I'm not around, Sam. That's not how he is," I said. I just had to tell Nate that I was going to be doing stuff at work. He wouldn't have anything to say about it.

"He doesn't care about you, Leah. If he doesn't care why you're not around, then he doesn't care about you," Sam grunted.

"Okay, I'm done. Thanks for making dinner great Sam," I snapped, pushing back from the table. "And I think the one who doesn't care would be the one who's hurt me the most," I added as I marched out the doors.

As much as I didn't want to admit it, Sam was right. I was going to have to tell Nate eventually. There were a lot of things I was going to have to tell Nate. First, I'd have to wait until he was finished with his little family pow wow. Knowing Nate, it's probably over my now. Boy doesn't have much to say and what he does isn't always nice. I could wait for him at the gym. Maybe he'd actually have something to say today.

His smell hit my nose before I even got out of the forest. So he was finished with his meeting. Good. I rushed inside, glad that Idahoan't phased and therefore avoided whoever could be in my head. Nate's rhythmic punching echoed through the gym, his grunts following closely behind. The stench of blood began mingling with his sweat then. Blood? "What are you doing?"I asked as I entered the gym.

"Nothing."

"That doesn't look like nothing," I replied. He just grunted in return. "How did everything go?"

"I bought you lunch."

"That bad, huh?" Nothing. What was his problem? "You going to sit here and bleed yourself dry?" I tried not to growl. He couldn't just keep hurting himself. "Hello! I'm talking to you!" I shouted after a few moments of silence.

"Why?" he snapped, turning to look at me. His knuckles were dripping blood down his fingertips. "Why do you care? You don't know me, Clearwater. You didn't want to talk to me for weeks. So why does it matter if I had a shit day?"  
"You're going to attack me? Really? I'm not the one who screwed you over. So back the fuck off man," I snapped at him. I would never really be angry at him, but I would be frustrated. He didn't need to take this shit out on me. "Fuck you, Nate."

I didn't get more than ten steps before his hand wrapped around my arm and pulled me to a stop. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you like that." I stopped, but didn't turn around. If I looked at him, I would cave. And I was done taking the backseat to someone in a relationship. I had done it for so long with Sam and I wasn't going to do it again. "You're right; you're not the one who fucked my life up. In fact, you're the one that's been helping me get it back together. I'm sorry that I said that shit to you."

"You need to say the whole sentence," I said, enjoying this more than I should.

"What sentence? Come on, Leah; I'm sorry."

"'I'm sorry Leah; I was wrong and you were right,'" I replied.

"Seriously?" I laughed at him and turned around to face him, eyebrow raised. "Fine. I'm sorry Clearwater. You were right and I was wrong."

"I mean that's not what I said, but I'll take it," I said with a smile. He rolled his eyes and took my hand in his, pulling me closer and kissing my cheek. "What's this I heard about some lunch?" I asked. He smiled and tugged me into the back office.

"Nate," Allie called as soon as he was off the gym floor. "Nate, please; Scott just called me." God, did her voice have to sound so whiny all the time? "Nate, seriously - Oh, it's you." I laughed as her eyes fell upon me and she frowned. "Nate, can I talk to you?"

"No, Allie." he said.

"Come on, Nate. You don't talk to a bitch like that. You have to be forceful. Don't you ever watch _Dog Whisperer_? Show that you are the one in charge. Watch," I said, turning to face her. "Get out."

Nate's eyes were lit up with laughter when I turned back to look at him. "Why are you even here?" I opened my mouth to answer her when the front door of the gym banged open and Scott walked in. I still think that his name is Dick. Maybe I should rename him. I liked Diane Crowe, but I think that she had named her son wrong. "Scott," Allie sighed in relief. Nate pulled me towards my lunch, but I wasn't hungry anymore.

"What the fuck was that Nate? You had no right to tell Ma; no right to make that decision!" Scott shouted.

"You told your mother?" I whispered. Nate just nodded, but he didn't look the least bit remorseful. "I think I'm rubbing off on you, Marine." He just snorted and handed me a paper bag.

"Dude, I'm your brother. And you just threw me under the bus," Scott continued.

"Too bad the bus wasn't going faster," I sighed. Nate chuckled, opening his bag and pulling his own lunch out.

"Nate I had a right to tell Ma about me and Allie!"

"You told your mother? Nathan how could you do that to me? How could you do that to your brother?" Allie asked, taking a step forward.

"Let's not talk about the things that you two have done," I whispered. Nate didn't try to stop me, which was good. I had a right to stand up for my imprint. "Because at the end of the day, your mother will forgive you."

"Oh my God will you shut the fuck up!" Allie screamed at me.

"What the hell are you even doing here?" Scott chimed in. "Why don't you just get the fuck out of here?"

That got Nate to look up from his food. He jumped up and grabbed my arm, pulling me behind him. His anger was shaking off of him, causing every hair on the back of my neck to stand up at the threat. "I don't talk to Allie like that, regardless of the shit that you two have done. Don't you _dare_ talk to her like that. You want someone to leave, you get the fuck out. But don't talk to her like that," Nate snapped.

"I'm your family man. You let this bitch come in here -"

In the blink of an eye, Nate had his hands wrapped around his brother's collar, holding him up against the wall. "You don't get to talk about her. She hasn't done anything to you. Get the fuck out of the gym."

"I'm not leaving until you agree to come home with us," Scott countered.

"Nate, I don't know what she's saying to you or what she's done to you, but this isn't you," Allie said behind us.

"Back off," I said, turning to look at him. "You're only going to piss him off and it's your boyfriend's face that will get mangled."

"Nate wouldn't hurt his own brother," she replied with surety.

"But that didn't stop his brother from hurting him, did it?" She narrowed her eyes at me. "Why are you even here? You got what you wanted," I said, glaring at her. "You got the guy that you wanted. Why do you need to have him to, huh?"

"He's my friend; my best friend. He can't just right off his friends and family because or the things that have happened," she said.

"Actually, he can. Whether you want him to or not, he can do exactly that. Are you really so selfish that you need to have both boys? You're more stuck up and selfish than I ever thought. Nate is such a good guy; how the fuck did he date you?"

Allie jumped at me, but Nate wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me out of her way. "Why don't you and I head back to my place, Nate?" I suggested. He nodded, keeping his hold on my hand. Scott was dropped on the ground next to the door, looking shocked that his brother would pick some girl that they didn't know over him. Nate pulled me to stop next to his brother and Allie, who had scurried over to check.

"Her name is Leah," Nate began, his voice dark and steely. "And if you have shit to say about my girl again, I won't hold back." He pulled me out of the office, through the gym, and into his car.

"Why don't we head up to the cliff?" I suggested. He didn't say anything so I just kept silent. He veered off once we were at La Push, stopping at the beach. I followed him up the hill and to the cliff, sitting beside him once we made it there.

"You didn't have to do that, you know," he said after a while. It was good to hear his voice again.

"Do what?"

"Stand up for me like that. I mean, I appreciate it and everything, but you -"

"Nate, you did the same for me. And I'm a big girl, I can handle myself. That doesn't mean I don't like knowing that you're right there behind me," I said. "You're making me soft," I said a few moments later. I was getting bad, saying shit that was a little too sensitive.

Nate chuckled, the sound rumbling through him and tugging me into his side. "I like you no matter what, Clearwater. One of us has to be able to say shit correctly." I laughed and rested against him.

I was getting used to the idea of being someone's girl again. And I liked it. It was nice to have someone around again, someone who cared about me in more than a family way.

"Good, I'm glad," Nate said suddenly.

"Huh?"

"You like being my girl," he said with furrowed brows.

"Shit! I didn't mean to say that out loud," I cursed. "Fuck."

"Don't worry about it, Clearwater. I like hearing it." He was laughing at me. Asshole was laughing at me. I turned to see him laughing and opened my mouth, but he caught it with his, pulling me onto his chest.

Was it right to feel this way? I didn't think I would ever get tired of kissing him, of feeling him hold me. "Leah!"

"Can't we just get a minute?" he growled.

Sam broke through the forest line. "What the hell are you doing?" I didn't answer, just pulled Nate back down. "Leah!"

What was this? Day of the exes?


	31. Chapter XXX

**Author's Note: A little slow chapter that is basically for filler, but I still it is important. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter XXX**

"Leah!"

"Can't we just get a minute?" I snapped. It seemed like every time I started kissing her, someone had to interrupt us.

"What the hell are you doing?" Leah pulled my head back to hers in response, making me lose my focus. "Leah!" I pulled away and sat up to look at him. Sam? Really; we just can't catch a break. "What the hell are you two doing?"

"Haven't you ever kissed someone before?" I asked in response. "Or were you interrupted all the damn time?" Leah laughed out loud and pushed off of me, sitting beside me in the grass.

"What do you want Sam?" she asked scathingly. I hadn't spoken to Sam Uley or really been around any of Leah's 'brothers' since the bonfire. But I had heard the rumors, caught up on all the gossip of what had happened. Leah and Sam had dated for years, all throughout high school. Everyone was expecting them to get married. But her cousin came into town and Sam left her the next weekend for Emily. It made sense now why her cousin had been so excited to see Leah bring someone else around the group. But just by the nature of what happened, I hated Uley. He had hurt Leah in ways that no one should be.

"We talked about this Leah. Please just come back to the house with me and we can talk. Before you do something we regret," he said.

"I think going with you would be something that she would regret," I said quietly. Sam growled at me, exposing his teeth and snarling. Leah did the same.

"Get out of here, Sam. I don't walk in on you and Emily," she said. She shivered as if the thought of it disgusted her to her very core. "Although little Emily is probably too much of prude to do anything." The girl only knew how to hit below the belt, I swear.

"Come on, Leah; let's head to your place," I said, pulling her up to her feet.

"Why? Because of Sam? You may be nice enough to back off when Scott and Allie are around, but I don't give a fuck about him or Emily," she declared, pulling me back towards her. She had so much strength sometimes, enough to make me stumble. "You're too nice to the assholes."

"Leah you haven't told him anything. You can still make a decision to fight all of this. You can do what you want. You deserve better than him, Leah," Sam continued. I glared at him, eyes narrowed in disbelief.

"She deserves someone who's getting married to her cousin? The same idiot who left her for said cousin? Yeah, that's much better," I spat.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Sam growled, his eyes darkening. Was I supposed to be afraid of him? Because I had faced guys that were bigger and a great deal more frightening than Sam Uley.

"You don't know anything about me. So why don't you just back the fuck off and leave me and my girl alone, kay?" He took a step forward, wrapping an arm around Leah's upper arm. I grabbed his wrist, ignoring the heat that was almost burning against my skin. "You might want to let go of her," I suggested. Leah's eyes were almost black, her anger causing her to shake.

"Don't tell me what to do," he snapped.

I stepped away from Leah, squeezing against the pressure point between his thumb and index finger. "I said let go of her." Even the strongest of men could only handle so much pressure on their points. And while I had to put significantly more weight into the hold than I would normally have to, Sam still released her. I shoved him away from both of us. "You don't grab a lady." Leah glared at him indignantly.

"I told you, Sam," Leah gloated with a smile. "Now go away." Sam didn't move. "Oh my God, Sam; fuck off."

Sam started walking towards the forest, his arms shaking uncontrollably. Leah folded her arms across her chest and stared at him with a dare in her eyes, challenging him to say something else. So he did. "It's not too soon to stop this Leah. Please come home," he said. She scoffed flipped him off, watching him walk away from the house with anger.  
"Prick. I still think that you're too nice to the other assholes. I mean really? Do they really need to come in here and try to make shit better? You're just too nice," she said, plopping down on the cliff with me.

I needed to talk to her about this, before she was too angry to listen. That was the trick with Leah; you had to distract her. "My mom wants me to go home with her," I muttered.

"And you don't want to?" I grunted. "You know, if you start a conversation with someone, you're supposed to participate and not be a complete jackass."

"I don't want to go back to Montana; I'm happy here." She smiled a little. "I, uh, I like being here with you. But it hurts my mother not to have her children with her. So it's a little hard to have her here and telling me that she wants me to come home."

"Why don't we talk to her?" she suggested after a few quiet moments. "Seriously. Nate, you talking to her is not going to change her mind. She's your mother. But I'm nothing but the nice person that flew her out here. I'm subjective, you know? Let's talk to her. It'll be fine." I sat down next to her and leaned up against her side. "She needs to hear it, Nate."

I nodded and laid my head on her shoulder. She smiled wider, threading her fingers through my hair. "Let's go talk to her." I nodded again and stood up, pulling her with me and following her to the house. Leah had an air about her that was commanding, demanding, regal almost. She marched straight in the house, her eyes narrowed and her voice strong. "Mom, I need to talk to Mrs. Crowe," she said. Sue stood up and nodded towards the living room. She sank down on the couch, pulling me down beside her. A moment later, my mother appeared. She was drained and tired and clearly upset after everything that had happened.

"Did you and Scott talk? Work things out?" she asked as she took a seat on the couch across from us.

"I, uh, we - No, Mom; we didn't." She frowned a little, her eyes flashing anger. "And I don't think that it's going to happen."

"What do you mean it's not going to happen? You are brothers, Nate."

"Mrs. Crowe, I know that it's not my place; that this is a family matter. But there are some things that you can't forgive. I've been here before, to a place where my cousin, my best friend, betrayed me. It gets better with time, I promise. It gets to a point where you can be in the same room as them without wanting to kill them. But it will never be the same. When everyone tells us that we're supposed to be okay again, that we're supposed to forgive them for betraying us and hurting us, it just makes it harder. Every word is a reminder that we've been burned, that the people that we thought we loved hurt us in the worst possible way." I could hear her throat closing as she spoke, but she didn't seem to be too emotional just yet.

"What is your point, Leah?" my mother barked, clearly upset that she couldn't find her own way to save her sons' relationship.

"My point is that you have to let this run its course. It will _never_ be okay, Mrs. Crowe, but at some point, they'll be able to go to family functions together, to speak to one another without shouting or cursing. But they aren't the boys that they used to be," Leah murmured.

"So I need to stop pushing?" Ma whispered. Leah nodded deftly. "Is this how you feel Nate?"

I was going to have to talk if I was going to convince her. "Yes, Ma. I can't be friends with him. I can't do it again."

"And our next step is to get them to leave. They're trying desperately to get you to come home. And forgiveness is something that only you can give, Nate," Leah said.

"No, I understand," Ma said suddenly. "Your brother has done a lot of wrong. No matter how much I want you two to be friends again, to be the brothers that you've always been, he has done many things that were just wrong. He should have told me about Allie and the wedding. I'll talk to him; I'll get them to leave." I nodded appreciatively. "Nathan, just promise me that you'll come home one day." I nodded and smiled. "Nathan?" she growled.

"I promise that one day I'll go back to Montana," I said to appease her.

"Good; that little piece of work needs to see the great outdoors," she smiled. Leah laughed. I pressed my lips to the cheek of the girl in question.

"Thank you, Clearwater. You never cease to amaze me," I whispered. She smiled and laughed.

"You ain't seen nothing yet, Marine. Trust me."


	32. Chapter XXXI

**Author's Note: Hello everyone! I just wanted to take a brief moment to thank you all for reading and reviewing. It really means a lot and it helps me think of things to write. Honestly, if it wasn't for the reviews, I probably wouldn't be able to get a chapter out everyday. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXXI**

Scott glared at me as he got out of Leah's truck. Whether that was because Ma had told him that he had to get out of Forks or because of the black eye that he was now sporting, I wasn't sure. I didn't really care. A black eye is what you deserve when you call my girl a bitch in front of my mother. Allie was just lucky that Leah hadn't heard any of the things that she'd said about her. Allie would probably be worse off than Scott. "You take good care of that girl," Ma said as she kissed my cheek. "She's good for you. I can tell." I smiled and kissed her back, pulling her close for a hug.

Much like she had the first night that she'd arrived, Ma grabbed hold of Leah and pulled her into her embrace. And just like before, I anchored Leah to the left side of my chest and pulled my mom into a hug on my right side. We all just sat there for a few moments and then Ma pulled away. Leah and I waited until she had checked in and was on her way to security to stop watching. Allie turned back to me with pleading eyes. And then flinched when Leah growled at her. I chuckled more to myself than aloud and pulled Leah close.

"I'm glad you finally hit him. Just wish that I had been there to see it," she muttered. I just shrugged. Scott deserved it. "So I was thinking," she said with a little twinkle in her eyes that made my mind jump to things I should't be thinking about, "that maybe we should," she continued, her body pressed up against mine. The fervor building in her eyes dispersed and was replaced with a teasing glint, "go fight." I laughed, my head tossed back while I tried not to shout.

"Let's go," I said, tugging her back to the car.

The gym was empty, most people at work at the early hour. Leah jumped out of the car gleefully, the happiness shining off of her. I followed her into the gym where she promptly dropped her shirt on the ground and darted for her locker, humming to herself. "Someone is in a good mood," I said, slipping my feet out of my shoes. She just kept humming, acting much more open than the Leah that I had come to know and love.

Hold up. No.

I wasn't going down that road again. I cared about Leah... a lot. But love? No; it had only been like four months now. That's too soon. Besides, Leah Clearwater was more guarded than I was. There was no way that she would be okay with that. _If_ it were true. Which it can't be.

I turned around to find Leah right in front of me, a beautiful smile on her face. "They're gone. I can't believe that they're finally_ gone_. Now if we could get my family to leave," she sighed. I took a step forward to catch her in my arms, but Leah quickly ducked out of my grasp and ran for the ring. She jumped in, circling the octagon like it was a baseball diamond. "I like your mom; she's like mine." I nodded and laughed, watching Leah come to the center of the ring.

"Are we fighting today or what?" I asked with a chuckle as I walked into the ring myself. "You look nice and comfy down there," I said. "But I can't say I've ever imagine you on your back in a ring." She narrowed her eyes and stared at me for a brief second before jumping up. I tossed her a roll of tape for her knuckles, but she tossed it out of the little arena we were in. "Bare knuckle?" I asked, still amused.

I hadn't seen this side of Leah since she'd gotten drunk with Jeanie. Then, she'd been all smiles and giggles and in that damn dress that drove me distraction. But there was something about this side of Leah, about seeing her in her workout clothing with this smile on her face and that teasting look in her eyes that was infinitely sexier than anything that I had ever seen before. She grinned at me and bit her lip, lunging forward and swinging a fist at me. I avoided the hook and swung at her, careful to hit her open palmed. She laughed and backed up a little ways. All of the sudden, she was sprinting towards me, wrapping her arms around my waist and picking at my knee. The joint gave out and sent me hurtling to the ground.

Leah landed on top of me, obviously proud of herself. It was something that we had been working on for a while. As far as fighting went, Leah was more of an offensive person. I guess the same could be said about her social life too. I didn't really care either way. Leah was one badass girl with a lot to admire. Besides the fact that she was someone that would send me crawling across the floor for just a kiss on those plump lips, she was kind and fierce and her own damn person. You had to respect a girl who had beaten down and broken in so many ways and refused to let it ruin her. That's what people didn't see about Leah. They assumed that her bitchiness was just her defense, her way of coping with what happened. But it wasn't. It was the strength in her coming out, the way she showed people that despite what Sam had done, she was still alive and kicking. Well, right now she was punching. But either way she was alive.

I rolled us over my shouklder, bracing my bare feet against Leah's shoulders and throwing her overhead. She landed with a thump in the moment before I pounced on her, tapping her ears with my fingertips. She growled, angry that I was winning her little game. She shoved me off her with a quick display of just how strong she was. We were standing chest to chest, glaring at each other. Well, Leah was glowering. I was daring her to do something, anything. She clocked me with a solid uppercut that sent me back to the ground. Her hits weren't hard once I was there. We weren't doing this to hurt each other or even to train. This was just us being stupid.

I flipped her over, gaining control again. Leah quickly had me on my back after ankle picking me. And so it went. Leah would have control for a while and then it would be me. It was one of the brief moments that she had me on my back that made the world stop. "Give up, Natahn," she hissed. "It isn't worth it."

The gym faded. Leah grew taller and more masculine. Her skin faded to white, her hair to a lighter brown. James. He looked at me with haunted eyes, like he was sorry for the shit that he was doing. But he wasn't sorry. He wasn't and he wouldn't ever be. I tossed him off of me, some part of my brain registering that he had flown into a fence that I couldn't find in the surrounding sand. He stood again, the whip he was holding dragging through the sand. He came at me with arms up in surrender, but I wasn't going to fall for that. Not again. As soon as he was in strike range, I began doing the very thing that I had dreamed about since the damned day. I got him on the ground, watching him desperately block to keep me from hitting him. "Nate!"

Leah? That sure as shit wasn't James' voice. "Nate," she whispered. James reached up to grab my cheeks, but the hands weren't his. They were ... They were Leah's. The gym came flooding back, the sand draining away like a tub of water. And there I was, kneeling over Leah Clearwater. Her lip was split down the center from where I'd managed to hit her. What had my mother said? She told me to treat her good and what was the first fucking thing that I did? I beat the shit out of her. "You're okay, Nate. You're here with me in Forks." She was wrong; I wasn't okay. I had hit her. I had hurt her. It didn't matter that it was an accident, that I would _never_ consciously hurt her. I had.

I shoved off of her and sprinted to the spot she had laid her bag. I threw it at her, watching her catch it with ease. She didn't have any other marks on her body. But that didn't matter. Only an hour ago I had been debating with myself whether or not I loved her. None of that mattered now. Who could love a man that would beat her in his sleep? Not even in his sleep. I had been awake; I just hadn't been _here_. "I, uh... You should leave, Leah. I can't uh-"

"If you think I'm leaving, Nate, you're wrong," she whispered. Why did she have to make this difficult? It didn't have to be. I had proven it right there. I was a bad guy. There was nothing but sand and memories left in me.

"You shouldn't stay here, Leah. I hurt you."

"No, you didn't."

"I split your lip, Leah."

"Does it look split?" she shot back. I looked over it, but I couldn't find a mark. My mind was just playing another fucking trick on me. "You didn't hurt me, Nate." But I scared her shitless. That was all. What I had done was unexcusable. I should've kept my fucking head. "Let me help you, Nate. Talk to me."

"I don't need help, Clearwater. Just go." Go get somewhere safe.

"I'm not leaving, Nate." I had to keep her safe, to keep her away from me.

I darted in front of her, using my height to loom over her. "Get the fuck out of here!" I screamed. The words echoed through the black and red gym, the sound making the birds that had been outside the windows fly away.

"No." She said it so quietly, so forcefully that I wasn't sure how to react. She placed her hands on my jaw and used that surprisingly strength to pull me down so that my face was resting in her neck. Whatever dam I had built burst. Fatigue swept over me. I grabbed her by the waist and lifted her off the ground, trying to show her that I could hurt her without even trying.

But Leah only hushed me and wrapped her own arms around my neck, fingers playing with my too-long hair. "You're okay, Nate. I'm here." Therein lies the problem. Leah needed to get away from me. To get somewhere safe. So why couldn't I bring myself to let go? "I'm not going anywhere, Marine," she muttered.


	33. Chapter XXXII

**Author's Note: I guess you could say that Leah will be a little OOC in this chapter, but who can really tell since the woman who technically owns Leah's character severely underdeveloped her. Either way, enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXXII:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

I don't even think that Nate even realized that he was crying but I wasn't going to say anything. This was my fault, after all. I had something, even if I didn't realize what I had done. His eyes had glazed over and he lost sight of me. When I had finally gotten him back to me, he had tried to push me away, to get me to leave. It took everything in me not to scream at him, to call him stupid, to make him understand that I wasn't leave him here like this.

Something in me told me that he wasn't going to listen to me shouting; that I would only lose him again. I tried to be quiet and sure, even while he was screaming at me. And then I pulled him into my arms, feeling him grab my waist and hoist me from the ground. I tried to reassure him that I wasn't leaving, but the words didn't seem to be getting through. His hot tears were sticking to my skin as he was shaking. I hushed him and kept my hands buried in his hair as I just held him. "I didn't mean to hurt you," he muttered, his lips pressing against my skin.

I just hushed him and held on a little tighter. Why did bad things have to happen to good people? Nate went out and fought for his country, for us. And how was he rewarded? With some form of PTSD and a Dear John. What was right about that? Nothing. "You're okay, Nate. You're okay," I kept whispering but at this point, I don't know if I was telling him or if I was trying to make myself sure of it.

He lowered me to the ground, but he didn't let go. He didn't need to, not now and not ever. "I'm sorry," he breathed. I had never been so thankful for the wolf healing. When Nate had first come out of this, I'd had a split lip from where he'd gotten me. But it had healed by the time that I had called his attention to it. I wouldn't tell him that he was crying, not unless his life depended on it. "We were in bootcamp together," he whispered. "In the same unit. He was my best friend out there."

Who was he talking about? No time to ask. I couldn't do it and risk him realizing what he was saying. "They - they gave us a choice when we were sitting in that room. We weren't together. I just - I figured that he would make the same choice because that's what I would do, what I did. They told me that I could torture my brothers, the only ones that were left if I didn't want to get it myself." Chills ran down my arms and neck as I followed his thoughts to Iraq where he'd been captured. "I told them to fuck off."

My lips twitched as I pictured him looking at the men who had given him the chance to save himself. "James said that he would do it. At least, I think he said it. It's the only reason that he would have been in the room when they brought me back. We had been kept in the dark for so long. They brought me back to the room and all the lights were on and there was James, holding the whip." James? This is the James that he dreamt about. This was why he was so torn up. His best friend had chosen survival over what was right.

"He sat there and cried, he_ cried_ while he whipped me, asked if I knew anything. He knew that I didn't. I knew about as much as he did. The last thing they said to me every night was 'give up Nathan; it isn't worth it." The exact words that I had said. Hadn't I read all that shit about triggers once in class. That was one of his triggers. His brain had shut off and gone into the defensive because those words meant that the darkness was coming and the pain would only come back to get him tomorrow morning. A pain caused by his best friend.

"The unit found me... They rescued me and James and took us out of there. James tried to tell me that he was sorry about what had happened, that he was only trying to protect himself from getting anymore pain. But I couldn't look at him. It wasn't only me that he had been asked to torture. There were four of us that had lived through the capture and two of us that came out. Whether it was for his safety or not, he'd killed two good men." His voice broke a little. I pulled him closer, trying to take his pain and put it in my body.

My heart felt like it was being ripped up inside my chest. Or, what little of it that had grown back was being ripped to shreds. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Leah. I would never do it on purpose."

I hushed him. "You didn't hurt me, Nate. I promise." He shook his head, but I just kept trying to quiet him. "You're okay, Nate. Nothing is going to happen to you, not wen you're with me." I would never let anything hurt him ever again. He had been through enough shit. I could feel his knees flagging, but I couldn't give away my secret and emasculate him by picking him. "Come on, Nate. Let's go to the office, huh?"

I felt like I was talking to a child, not to one of the strongest men that I had ever met. I pulled his head up from my neck, not yet noticing the fact that he'd been crying. I led him quickly to his room and shoved him down on his bed gently. "I - - If I can't trust me to be normal around you, Leah, then you shouldn't be around me."

Here he went with the normal shit again. "I am not leaving you, Nathan Crowe. What you did was an accident. Shit happens; I get that," I whispered, trying not to let the growl bubble in my throat. "You have had enough shit in the last couple of years, Nate. I'm here to help you, to be whatever you need me to be and make it better. That's all I want to do Nate," I murmured, sitting next to him.

Not for the first time, his head fell to my shoulder. I wound my hand down the arm that was closest to mine, feeling his muscles ripple underneath my hand. "Why are you still here? Any other person would have left me now; realized that I'm too big of a problem to deal with."

"I could say the same about you. People on the Rez don't even talk to me, let alone talk to me the way that you have. I'm a bitch, Nate,"I whispered. "But you stick around. You stay herewith me, regardless of what others say. You told me once that you'd like me, no matter how I acted." He nodded. "It's the same deal, Nate. I like you. A lot more than I'd like to admit, actually." Why was I telling him this? Probably because I just wanted to see Nate come back completely. I just wanted him to smile, to call me Clearwater in that way that only he could. "I like you Nate and no matter how you act or what happens, I'm not leaving you."

Nate pulled me down on the bed, tucking me against his side. "I think you know every secret that I have," he whispered, but I could hear his exhaustion starting to get to him. "Some day, I'll have to learn about whatever it is that you're keeping from me."

I chuckled a little and rested my head on the hollow between his shoulder and his chest. "I promise that you will know everything about me someday soon." He chuckled a little and placed his hand, slowly and hesitantly on my waist. I couldn't help myself; it felt so damn good. His hand sent a warm tingling sensation down my spine that I was relishing in. I listened to his heart beat, the sound getting slower and slower as he calmed down more and more. "I'm not going anywhere, Nate. So stop acting like you think that I'm going to leave you," I whispered.

I waited until I knew that he was asleep, until his hand had gone slack on my waist and arm to look up at him. "You, Nathan Crowe, are one giant puzzle. I hope that I get to tell you everything sometime soon. I love you," I whispered, watching his eyes to make sure that he was asleep. "And I don't know how to tell you this when you can actually hear me. But I love you." I rested my head on his chest again and listened to his breathing. I was happy and content for the moment. Exhausted, but content.

And I didn't ever want that feeling to end.


	34. Chapter XXXIII

**Author's Note: Okay, so I'm one of those people who is constantly worried that what I do isn't good enough. So that being said, if I apologize in advanced, will I be forgiven? Unless there's not reason for me to be forgiven, in which case I would love some reviews! I hope you all enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXXIII**

I was rolled on my side with a warm little bundle pressed along the length of me. My arm felt dead, like it was no longer attacked to my body. I blinked hard until the haze was gone and I could see around me. There was a gentle pressure on my jaw, pressing against the bone there. Rough hands laid against my arm, tickling the skin there. My arm was tossed over the smooth, exposed skin of someone's back. But not just someone; Leah Clearwater.

It was Leah's hair and temple that were resting on my cheek. She lie on her stomach with her arms curled up beneath her chest and her fingers resting on my bicep. It was the first time in months that I had not had a nightmare when I was asleep. Leah was tucked in tight to my chest. I couldn't lift my head to look at her, to see if she was still asleep. What I could hear was her light snoring and snarling under her breath.

I pulled the hand around her waist back, trailing down the valley of her waist, up the hill of her hips, tripping over the folds in her shorts. I reached the smooth skin of her thigh and traversed the way back, drawing light shapes on her waist. I watched her skin form goosebumps under my fingertips. "I wasn't ready to wake up," she murmured, her breath whispering against my skin.

"Sorry," I replied, ceasing my movements.

"No; don't." She pushed herself back into my chest. "Don't stop." With those words, I kept writing on her skin with the tip of my finger. "Do you feel better now?" she whispered after a few quiet moments.

"I hurt you Leah; I won't ever feel better about that," I replied. I had told her about James and just having someone listen to me made it a little better. But it didn't stop the pain that formed when I remembered that I had thrown her into a fence and began hitting her.

"You didn't hurt me, Nate. If you did, I would've hurt you back. You saw for yourself. You didn't hurt me." The words didn't do anything to make me feel better. She pulled away a little bit and rolled so that she was facing me. Her lips pressed against mine gently and insistently. "Everything is fine, Nate. Trust me." And I did trust her, with my life and every stupid fucking secret it had. I opened my mouth, but Leah spoke first. "And if you apologize again, you're going to lose your dick."

I laughed, looking over her face. The chain that held my dog tags laid on the small bed between us, a reminder to me and everyone else that Leah Clearwater was mine. "Tell me a secret that no one knows." It was only fair; I had told her all of my secrets. "Something you wouldn't tell other people," I added.

She rubbed her face against my arm and chest. "I like to be held like this," she murmured. "Sam wasn't ever really into just sitting like this. He said that we could do this kind of shit when we were old and married. But I just - I don't know; I like the idea of someone just wanting to hold me and not needing sex or anything, you know?" I wanted to tell her that I would always be willing to sit here and hold her any day of the week. But I didn't. "And I like that you never try to push me farther than I want to. You always stop and just hold me."

"And why wouldn't you tell anyone that?" She should be able to say that to anyone, ever mind the guy that she'd been dating.

"I'm not supposed to be one of those know, the ones who need someone there for them. That's not me," she whispered.

"Says who?" She looked up at me shocked. "Who says that you don't get to be that way?"

"Everyone. After Sam broke up with me, I was angry at everyone. Everyone kept trying to tell me that they were sorry for what had happened and blah, blah, blah. But it wasn't them that did this to me so I didn't understand why the fuck they were sorry. I got a reputation for being a bitch. And people started leaving me alone. So I kept it up and pretty soon, people were saying that I would never get together with anyone else."

"Because of what Sam did." I finished, nodding in understanding.

"No; because of me. Sam and Emily were happy and living together and getting married and I was bitter and angry. People were saying that I did it to myself; that I should've just moved on like Sam did."

I wished that I was the type of guy that could say shit without fucking it up. But I wasn't. I was never able to get things out, especially not to Leah. But there was one thing that I was good at and that was taking action. I pulled her tighter into my arms and rested my chin on her head. "It would seem that people were wrong then. They weren't really sorry; it they were, they wouldn't have said the things that they did. And as for you never being with someone again, I'm right here. And you're with me, so that was a lie. And I think we both know that Sam hasn't moved on. I see it in his eyes every time that the two of us are together. He may be with your cousin, but he's not over you Leah."

She stretched out a little bit and looked up at me with a peaceful eye. "Well then I guess it's too bad that I'm over him," she replied.

"Completely over him?" I asked. I knew that it could be hard to get over the one that you had been with for so long. I didn't expect Leah to just be done with Sam.

"For the first time since he left me, Nate, I don't even think about him. I'm back to being the me that I was before everything happened. And, at the risk of sounding stupid and girly, I think that I have you to thank for that." I smiled and pulled her closer, pressing my lips to the first skin of hers that I could reach.

"I'm glad that I could help you," I whispered. I didn't try to say that it was the least I could do after all the help that she had given me. Knowing me, it wouldn't even come out in English.

I dug my fingers into her scalp and tilted her head up, kissing down her cheek to the corner of her mouth, making my way to the center of her lips. She kissed me back, her hands slipping underneath my shirt to trail the map of scars there. I kept one hand in her hair and slid the other down her back to the smooth skin. I wasn't going to push her. After all, she'd just said that it was one of her favorite things. But I loved the feel of her skin underneath my hand. I mapped the ridges of her spine. She moaned into my mouth, giving me all the encouragement I needed. I rolled us so that I was resting all of my weight on one forearm and trailing the other over her flat stomach.

She shivered underneath me, fingers finding the sore spot on my back. I flinched, but I was still kissing her, not willing to break. Apparently, she was more willing. "What hurts?" she asked, hands working at my shirt.

"When the unit got us out, the people that took us tried to save themselves by blowing up the house that we had been in. I got some shit in my back, but it's fine now. It just gets sore every once in a while," I explained. I kissed her again, taking her bottom lip in my own mouth.

"You're distracting me," she murmured when I'd released her mouth. I moved down her neck, not caring about the marks that I would leave on her. Her pulse thrummed underneath my lips. "You should stop that," she added breathlessly. I laughed and continued kissing my way down her neck, crossing her collarbone and heading north to her mouth again.

A warm hand wrapped around the collar of my shirt and hauled me off of the girl of my dream. Her own hand fisted in the front of my shirt until she realized that I wasn't pulling away by choice. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" The man who held me shoved be against the wall of the office, the entire room shuddering. He let me go, dropping me to my feet. I looked up at Sam Uley and fought the urge to hurt him. Asshole.

"Sam, what are you doing here?" Leah snapped, getting up and standing in front of me. I twined an arm around her waist and moved her beside me, where I could push her back if I needed to.

"I came to find you. No one has seen you since you got off of patrol this morning," he snarled, his arms shaking.

"Yeah, I went to drop Nate's mom off at the airport."

"You left La Push?"

"I called and got permission, Sam; cool you balls," Leah snarled. She needed permission to leave her Reservation? Maybe things were different here, but on the Crowe Rez we were allowed to leave and go wherever we want.

"And then what? You came here, wearing as much clothing as a prostitute to hang around some guy," Sam snarled.

I shoved Leah behind me and stepped chest to chest with the asshole in front of me. He was about five inches taller and a good deal broader, but I wasn't afraid of him. "You should leave. This is private property for members only. Get out," I snapped. Leah wrapped her hands around my wrist and gave a gentle tug. "Don't make me force you to leave."

"I'd like to see you try," he replied.

I stepped away from Leah, grabbing his opposite wrist and twisting his arm so that it was bent in a chicken wing position behind his back. You never try to fight men who are bigger than you. You use their own strength against them. I released him a little once we were out of the confined space of the office. I'd figured we would have figured out that I wasn't kidding. He used my relax to shove away from me, his entire body shaking. "Sam don't!" Leah snarled, stepping in front of me. "He's not just _some guy_ and you know what will happen if you hurt him. Get out."

He was shaking harder now, his arms a blur. With a shout that sounded more like a bark, his arms flung out. Four red lines appeared across Leah's stomach, blood dripping. "Leah!" I rushed to her side, ignoring the animalistic sounds Sam was making behind me. I pulled my shirt off and pressed it against her wound. "Hey, talk to me, okay?" I had seen my share of wounds. I needed to know that she was conscious while I figured out how to get her to a hospital.

"I'm fine, Nate," she whispered breathlessly. "I'm fine. Look." She pulled my hand away from her skin, the marks having closed. They puckered in angry pink scars, but they weren't bleeding.

"That's not possible," I insisted. I ran my fingers over her cuts but Leah flipped me off her and stood.

"Back down Sam. You don't want to hurt him!" she shouted, crouched and ready to pounce. I followed her gaze up to the eyes of a snarling, snapping, barking, solid black wolf with teeth as long as my finger.

What the fuck was going on?"


	35. Chapter XXXIV

**Author's Note: WOW! I don't even know what to say to all the reviews yesterday. I'm literally shocked. I just want to thank you all for the reviews. It totally made my day. Enjoy tonight's chapter!**

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**Chapter XXXIV**

The black beast in front of me was growling and snarling. Leah kept calling him Sam but there was no way that this could be happening. Leah stood in front of me, her own sounds bubbling from her throat. This could not be real. She swiftly reached up and pulled her chain over her neck, thrusting them back at me. "Back down, Sam!" she warned. He didn't. Leah jumped towards the wolf, her clothing bursting at the seams until she was a much smaller wolf in front of me.

I felt my eyes widen as I watched the wolf that had been my girl pounce onto the back of the guy that had hurt her. She snarled and sank her teeth into... I guess it was Sam's neck. He reached up and grabbed Leah's shoulder, the pain tingling through my own arm. I rubbed it lightly to get the ghost feeling to go away. She yelped at the pain, but rolled away to come and stand in front of me protectively. This was backwards. I was supposed to be protecting her. That's the way that things in the world worked. What had she been holding from me? I had told her everything!

She crouched in front of me, daring Sam to get another step closer. She was startling beautiful, almost white with a feminine glitter to her fur. She was barely larger than a regular wolf, but infinitely more beautiful. She was quick and agile. Sam would fake one way and Leah would manage to jump in both directions in the time that it would take him to fake her and go the direction he intended. He would take a step closer to me and she would step closer to him, glaring at him with daggers. She definitely wasn't an animal that I would cross.

Sam was snarling, his eyes flitting between me and Leah's form. Leah was snapping at him, goading him into take a step closer. Apparently it was a risk that he was willing to take. Leah fell to the floor before Sam had even touched her. The larger wolf in question leapt over her whimpering form and landed lithely in front of me. He snarled at me and kept stalking closer while I walked back. I found my back flat against the padded wall while Leah panted, shoving herself to her feet. What did he do to her? She bounded towards me then, pulling Sam back by his leg.

Sam turned around and sank his teeth into her neck. Leah shook him off her and came to stand in front of me. There was blood dripping from her neck but she refused to back down. She was shuddering, her breath coming in gasps. She growled lowly at him, the sound almost week in comparison to what she had given before. I stepped forward, away from the wall. Leah growled at me, louder than she had before. It was a warning to me. A warning that I wouldn't listen to. I rested my hand in her fur, trying to soothe her in the only way that I could at the moment. She leaned into my hand a little. I turned my attention back to Sam.

"Leave Sam," I demanded. "I'll call my aunt and uncle if you need me to. Or, uh, who is it? Billy Black; he's the chief, right? I'll tell him what's going on and you'll have to leave, right?" He growled at me, trying to intimidate me. Leah snarled in return. "Get out before I call." He barked at me, but slowly turned around, managing to duck out the double doors that were open. Leah waited until he was out the doors to collapse on the ground. "Are you okay?"

What was I doing? I was asking a _wolf_ if she was okay! A wolf that was the girl that I was seeing. Because, you know, that's normal. She nodded and stood up again, walking slowly towards the doors of the locker room. She bumped the door a little, but there was no way that she was going to fit through. "Do you want your bag?" I asked on a guess. She nodded, the movement jerky and a little strange. I walked through the locker room and found her bag, pulling it out and tossing it on the ground. She picked it up in her mouth and trotted outside. "Leah!" I shouted. God damn it if she didn't owe me answers. "Seriously?"

I looked at the blood that was pooled by the wall that Sam had pinned me against. At least it was an MMA gym and no one would notice a little blood. Or a lot. I sighed heavily. Why couldn't anything in my life be easy? No, I had to fall for a girl that wasn't completely human. So why wasn't I freaking out a little more? I should be on the floor having a fucking seizure because, let's face it, Leah was a wolf.

Instead I was standing over her blood with a mop, holding on to the last piece of sanity that I could have. "Nate." Her quiet voice broke through the silence of the gym. "I, uh -"

"I think that we need to talk," I interrupted, not wanting to her what she was going to say. "Because there's a lot that just happened." She nodded, a little smile on her face. "So do you think that you could maybe explain what just happened?"

"Do, uh, do you remember when I tried to bring you to the legends?" I nodded. "The legends are true, Nate. And I know that you don't know much about them. I hope that you will be able to come down to the next bonfire and hear them. I'll tell them to you if you, uh still want to hang around me. My job is a little more than just a ranger or whatever I told you. I, um, I'm a protector of La Push. I patrol the border that marks our territory to keep the people safe."

"So you don't kill people? I mean, it's not you and Sam that are killing those people in Seattle, right?" I asked. There were too many killings for it to be a whole bunch of accidents. And far too many killings for just two things. "Leah, how many of you are there?"

"All of the guys that you met at the bonfire," she whispered. "And my brother."

"And this is normal for Quileute people?"

"No; it's not. It's not normal at all," she said with a dark chuckle. "But it's my life. It's the reason for everything, good and bad, that's happened in the last couple of months."

"This was the secret that you couldn't tell me?"

She nodded but rushed forward, "I wanted to tell you, Nate. In fact, I'm really not finished telling you. There's a lot of things that I should tell you, but I'm too scared." She whispered the last two words. "I'm scared, okay? I understand if you don't want to see me or hang out with me or ..."

"Hey," I whispered, dropping the mop back into it's bucket and grabbing her shoulders in my hands. There was no way that I could say the right thing. That was just the reality. "You know as far as crazy things go, I think that this is the least of our worries. I mean, I can't even hear a sentence without losing my mind." She smiled a little, but still looked worried. "And as for the shit that you haven't told me, that you're worried about telling me, I can wait Leah."

"You'll wait?" she whispered. I nodded. "Nate, I don't know if I can - -"

"I'll wait, Leah. It's not hard to wait." Especially if I was waiting for a girl like Leah.

"You know, you're taking this really well," she said with narrowed eyes.

"I mean, if you can take the things that happened to me, why can't I be okay with this?" I asked. I mean, she took everything that I had like it was nothing. She didn't care. And while this wasn't quite normal but neither was I. "So we can hold off on the other things and just take it slow. But you are going to have to tell me those legends."

She laughed, seeming a little more relaxed now that I had told her that I wasn't leaving. "You're really going to be staying with me?"

"You remember when I tried to get you to leave and you told me that you wanted to stay?" She nodded. "Kind of the same deal, Clearwater." She smiled at the name, still standing a good distance from me, despite my hold on her shoulders. I pulled her closer to my chest and rested my chin on the top of her head. There was a little silence and then I spoke. "Do I get to find out what it is that you're hiding now?"

"Maybe before the battle," she whispered. I pulled back to look at her.

"What battle, Leah?" I snapped. She couldn't be going into a battlefield. That wasn't what was meant to happen. I was supposed to be there to protect her. "You could be hurt." It wasn't what I had meant to say. But then again, I wasn't planning on Leah laughing at me like I had said something utterly hysterical.

"I'm a little less breakable that you think, Nate. Look." She lifted her tank top to reveal the completely flattened, tanned skin of her stomach. But I could still see the lines in my mind's eye; the scratches that Sam had put there.

"Is it wrong that I want to kill him?" I asked, swiping my fingers along her healed stomach.

"You're not the only one. That guys will be pretty pissed off; especially Seth," she replied, her skin tingling against my hands. "But he's just like me, Nate. You can't hurt him; we heal too quickly." There was something about that statement struck me, enough to make me pull back.

"Did I hurt you yesterday, Leah?" I demanded. She shook her head, but I wasn't willing to listen to her. "You heal quickly because of the wolf shit. I hurt you and you lied, right?"

"Nate, you didn't hurt me. You just saw how strong I am. I would've hurt you if you had done something wrong."

"So the split lip didn't heal before you mentioned it again?" I asked, eyes still narrowed.

"Nate -"

"You lied to me, Clearwater." I stepped away from her. "Why didn't you tell me the truth? I could've handled it."

"It was the truth, Nate! You didn't hurt me. To be honest, I didn't even know my lip was split until you said something. You asked me if you hurt me and you didn't. It wasn't a lie," she insisted. She stepped closer to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. "Please don't be mad at me. I was just trying to talk to you about what happened and why you stopped seeing me." She paused, waiting for me to say something. But I didn't. "Please, Nate; please don't be mad and push me away. Please."

I couldn't do that to her, regardless of how mad I was. Leah was the first person in a while that I had really talked to. I dropped my arms slowly around her until I was hugging her back. "You owe me a lot more than just this," I whispered, meaning the explanation for way that she turned into a wolf.

She laughed and looked up at me, winding one hand up my shoulders and to my neck. She pulled down and kissed me, rough and hard. I smiled into her mouth. This would work too. She pulled away and kissed my cheek, muttering "All good things come to those who wait."

And wait I would. For as long as she needed me to.


	36. Chapter XXXV

**Author's Note: Sorry that this is up so late in the afternoon. My power was out for like an hour and a half. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXXV:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

I was worried that he was going to reject me. I mean, would it be a surprise? At the very least, I expected him to tell me that he needed a little time. Instead, I walked in the gym and the first words out of him mouth were, "I think that we need to talk." And talk we did. He didn't seem at all upset about the fact that I could turn into a wolf. In fact, he was more concerned about the battle with the newborns. Until I mentioned that I couldn't be hurt.

I knew that he was still beating himself up about the sparing session and what had happened there. But I was being honest when I told him that he didn't hurt me. He really didn't. He surprised me and I was scared shitless that I had hurt him, but there was no other pain. But other than that, he took all of this really, really well. I should probably be concerned about that. But I was too overjoyed that I could have the ending to my story that I had always dreamed about to be worried about it.

But I was asking him to wait. I needed him to wait. I knew that it was probably wrong of me, but I wanted him to adjust to this before I tossed imprinting into the mix. He deserved to know that I was bound to him forever, but I couldn't bring myself to do it just yet. Would he react like I had originally? I didn't want this imprint. I wanted nothing to do with him. But the more that I got to know him and the more that I got to see just what he was all about and how right the spirits were, the more that I wanted him.

So explained the legends, everything including the Third Wife, her sacrifice and Taha Aki's love. I wasn't going to tell him about it just yet. I couldn't do it; I couldn't face the rejection. "So that's what I was missing out on that night?" he asked after I finished tell him in more detail. I just nodded. "And the Cullens that live on the other side of town, they're vampires? Or Cold Ones, I guess."

"We call them vampires. Back then, we just didn't know what to call them. But yes, the Cullens are vampires. They made a treaty with one of Jake's ancestors so that they could stay here. We don't allow them onto our land, but we can't kill them unless they break the treaty. Any other vampire that gets too close to La Push is turned into ash," I explained.

"Ash?"

"Vampires can put themselves back together after we've ripped them apart. So we burn them. We figured it out after the first vampire was killed. It's said that Taha Aki wore some of the ash in a pouch around his neck." I looked down at the chains that he had in his fist and licked my lips. "If you don't want to give them back to me, I completely understand. But, uh - Is there any way that I could get those back?" I asked hesitantly, pointing to his hand.

"They're yours now, Leah. You can always have them," he replied, moving to stand behind me and drop them over my head. "But there is one tiny little detail that is kind of bothering me?" I hummed in question. "What battle are you talking about, Clearwater?"

"There's this vampire bitch that has been dancing around our border for the last few weeks. None of us have been able to get her. A couple of weeks ago, Ryanne had some of her things stolen and -"

"Ryanne is a part of this?" he interrupted, moving from behind me to stare at me with narrowed eyes.

"Uh, yeah. She's kind of Jake's person. Just like I'm telling you. Actually, Ryanne found out a lot like you did. Paul phased and was trying to get her sister and Rye was in the way. But that's not the point. Ryanne's sister Bella -"

"The one that was here that one day?"

"Are you going to keep cutting in?" I growled. He pretended to zip his lips. "Bella is dating a vampire and yes, she knows that he's a vampire. They had a run in with another group of nomadic vampires last year. The Cullen killed the guy that was hunting Bella, but now his mate wants revenge for her mate. She's decided to hunt Bella and kill her, which none of us are really opposed to. But the problem is that for some reason they're coming after Ryanne," I said.

"I thought you said it was just one. Why is there a _they_?"

"Oh, right. So the killings in Seattle have been this leech. She's been making newborn vampires because they're stronger and faster. The Cullens have a seer on their side. She says that they're going to attack pretty soon. We've been training and patrolling nonstop, trying to make sure that nothing gets to the people That's what we do; we protect people," I said.

There was a look in his eye, like he wasn't glad to hear what I had to say at all. Maybe it was all finally sinking in. Maybe he would leave now, realizing everything that I was saying. "I don't like the idea of you in a battle," he whispered. I knew that it took a lot for him to be able to say the words. "No one should have to go to war."

"It's not war. I'll have my brothers and the Cullens," I shuddered at the name. "But that's one of the things that I wanted to talk to you about, actually. When the battle actually comes up, I need you to stay down at the Rez with my mom and the others that are staying behind. This vampire has a habit of going after the things that we care about and the people that have been in contact with us. The only place that I can really send the wolves to protect you is down at the Rez." I don't know why I thought that he was going to put up more of a fight. But I did.

So I was shocked when he nodded and whispered, "Okay; I can do that. Just going to hang out with the guys right?"

"Uh... No. See, the thing is, I'm the only female wolf. So the only guys that will be there will by my brother and someone else that will be watching over you guys while the rest of us fight," I said, feeling a little bad that I was going to make him spend the entire day with a group of girls. "But there's a little gym in the backyard that you can use. And I can see if Billy Black would be able to come and hang out over there. I mean, this isn't for a few weeks though," I muttered.

"And where exactly am I going?" This was the part that I was dreaming the most.

"To Sam and Emily's. Sam is the Alpha. He wants the people at his house while the rest of us fight," I muttered.

"But Sam will be out fighting?" I nodded. "So I won't even get a chance to try and hurt him?" I laughed and shook my head, relieved that this whole discussion was going so well. "Why do I get the feeling that you keep waiting for me to run, Leah?" he whispered.

"Because this isn't normal."

"Normal is over fucking rated. We've both tried normal before and it didn't get us anywhere. This doesn't have to be something strange. There are people who would say that that the shit that comes with me isn't normal," he replied. Yeah, but he was suffering from what countless people before him had suffered from. I was a fucking Spirit Warrior, not a soldier that had come home from the worst shit that most people would ever see. "I still don't like the idea of you fighting."

"You fight with me everyday," I pointed out.

"I'm not a vampire and I'm not trying to kill you," he replied, pulling me close. "You got to promise me that you'll be safe, Clearwater. Okay? You have to promise that I'm going to come down to the Rez and you're going to leave and come back just fine," he demanded. I knew that he was concerned about saying the right thing. He stuttered a lot, messed things up, couldn't always manage to get his point across. But I liked him for it. The fact that he could never figure out the things that he wanted to say meant that he was thinking. Hopefully about me, too.

I made sure to keep myself in his arms, my head resting above his heart. I like that spot, his heart pounding underneath my ear, letting me know that he was alive. I liked hearing the organ stutter when I would touch his chest. Speaking of his chest.

I looked down to find him shirtless, his abs defined and glorious. He could rival any of the guys for bodies. I ran my nails down his chest to tops of his workout shorts. "I had you pretty freaked out there," I commented, remembering his franticness when Sam had hit me in the phase.

"Don't flatter yourself Clearwater," he shuddered. I laughed and traced a scar that ran to the 'v' formed by his hips.

"I should get going," I whispered, looking at the fading light. There was no meeting with the Cullens tonight, thank God, but I still had to go kill Sam. He had put my imprint in danger and then Alpha Ordered me not to move when he'd jumped over me. After Nate told him to leave, he made up some bullshit excuse about testing Nate. But he wasn't; he was being mean and possessive. "I'll see you tomorrow," I added, reaching up on my toes to kiss him.

I had barely stepped away from him when his hand wrapped around my elbow. "Do, uh, Do you - maybe you could ... Could you maybe -," he began stuttering. "I don't have nightmares when you're here," he finally whispered. I smiled. I knew that it was hard for my big, bad Marine to admit that he needed something from someone.

I bit my lip a little and stepped closer. "Let's get some sleep before I have to get to work tomorrow," I said, taking the pressure away from him. He nodded and followed me into his little bedroom/office. I laid down next to him, curling up in his arms. One day he was going to be able to tell me exactly what he was thinking. For now, I would have to be as patient as he was being with me.

Wrapped up in his arms, I felt him lean forward and press his lips against my short hair. "Thanks, Leah," he muttered. I just smiled and snuggled back into his arms.


	37. Chapter XXXVI

**Author's Note: Okay, I know that you guys were waiting for Leah's confrontation with Sam, but you're going to have to wait a little longer. I really hope that this doesn't disappoint (Oh, and I wanted to thank the ****Guest**** who reviewed and said that I never disappoint. Thank you so much). Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXXVI**

I knew that it was wrong of me to do it. Leah was something bigger than a mythological creature. She was amazing and beautiful, whether she was human or wolf. She could protect herself as from anything and everything. But I couldn't tell that to the part of my brain that wanted to protect her. It was how I was raised. I couldn't just let Leah go and yell at Sam _for_ me. I had my own battles to fight and my own girl to protect. So I went slow, careful not to wake her.

I cupped her cheek in my hand and lifted, sliding my other arm from underneath her. There were faint dark circles underneath her eyes that told me she needed her sleep. And I would be back soon enough to join her in that. But I had to go and take care of this for. "Where you going?" she grumbled when her cheek hit the cold pillow.

"Just for a run. I'll be back in an hour," I murmured, kissing her forehead as she nodded and snuggled into the bed. I almost said the words, but Leah had told me about her hearing... Best to keep those three words to myself for a little while. I swiped her bangs away from her face and made sure that she was back asleep before I got in the car.

My timing was perfect. Although it was only seven in the morning, Sam was walking into a house that I didn't recognize. "Sam," I called, slamming the door shut. "You and I need to have a talk."

The asshole in question turned and glared at me. "What the fuck are you doing here?" I just laughed at him.

"The two of us didn't really get a chance to talk yesterday," I said lowly. Sam flinched a little, like he regretted what he did. "I don't have much to say to you. Just leave her alone, okay? You had a chance to have her and for whatever reason, you left her. You had your chance. Let her fucking be happy now."

"Sam?" a quiet feminine voice called out. The scars that marred her face didn't detract from the fact that she really had a beautiful look about her face. She was soft and warm and she looked so happy all the time. But I had come to prefer the hard angles of Leah's face, the high cheekbones, the lush lips, all of it. "Oh, Nate, what are you doing here?"

"Came to talk to Sam about the shit he started yesterday," I said. Sam growled at me and narrowed his eyes. "Oh, did you not want me to tell her? You worried she might be a little upset?"

"What did you do, Sam? Is everything okay?" she asked, worry lacing her voice.

"Nothing, Emily. No one was hurt," he said.

"I'd beg to differ," I countered, Leah's cut up stomach flashing through my mind.

"Everything is fine, Emily; just go one inside, I'll be there in a minute." She did as she was told and I fought the urge to laugh. I could never imagine Leah just listening to me like that. Hell, I can't even get her to leave when she should. But I wouldn't want it any other way. "You did have to do that. Emily doesn't need to be worried about this shit."

"You gave her something to be worried about when you showed up there. You can't have them both and you sure as hell can't have Leah. She's mine now, Sam; let it go." I saw his lips tweak in a snarl. "Quit being a selfish prick and let her have a little bit of happiness," I added, turning around and walking towards my Jeep.

"What if you're not the one to make her happy? What then?" he shouted from the steps.

"Then I man up and step down. I want her to be happy and I don't care who that's with. Unlike you, I'm not that much of a dick," I replied, stepping into the car and pulling the door shut behind me. I rolled the window down and poked my head out the window. "Leah deserves better than the both of us. Unlike you, I'm willing to try to be the guy she should have or let her go to the right one."

I backed out and rushed back to the gym, glad to find Leah lying in my bed still. I showered quickly, remembering that I hadn't showered yesterday after the sparing and all that shit. I quickly scrubbed down, scanning my floor to find the shirt that I was pretty sure that I had thrown there, but it was nowhere to be found. I guess it didn't really matter. Leah wouldn't mind. I pulled back the covers, finding the shirt in question - - on Leah. The large U.S. Marine Corps shirt hung loosely over her frame, exposing her collar bone and neck. I slid in behind her, tossing an arm over her waist and pulling her back against my chest. "That was quick," she muttered, wiggling into my arms again.

"Mm-hmm," I replied. "Too tired to do much more. It's still early; go back to sleep," I whispered. Yesterday was the first time sine coming home that I had made it through the entire night without once waking up. AndI wasn't sure how I was going to convince Leah to stay with me more often, but damn if it didn't need to happen.

"I have to be on patrol at ten," she muttered.

"It's only seven thirty; I'll make sure we're up," I replied, pulling the thin sheet over the both of us. She muttered something that sounded like acceptance, but it was smothered by her deep breathing and light snoring. I couldn't bring myself to really fall back asleep. I dozed a little, resting for a few minutes at a time. Mostly, I just looked around the office and came to the conclusion that I was going to need to look my own place and a better job soon. I had some money for the Corps as well as my own savings. That could set me up for a little while. I couldn't keep brining Leah over here like this was where I was going to live the rest of my life. No; I wanted more than this for me.

The sun came in through the side window, tossing its rays over the thin sheet and Leah's skin. I slowly started kissing her shoulder and neck. She moaned in her sleep and nestled into my arms, burrowing against my chest. "I don't want to wake up," she grumbled.

"You said that you had to get to patrol," I whispered back, rubbing my now whiskered cheek against hers.

"You should shave before I come back," she murmured, stretching in my arms and rolling over to face me.

"Thanks, Leah," I whispered seriously, hoping she would understand that I was thanking her for staying last night.

"Any time," she purred. "I don't mind in the least." She shoved herself up, running a hand over her wild hair. "I should get going. Come over for dinner?" I just nodded and let her go after she kissed my cheek.

I spent the majority of my work hours online, looking for places closer to La Push to live. Clearly Leah didn't want me anywhere further into Forks. I realized now that I was lucky I was where I was and that she could come visit me. I sparred and trained a few hours with Frank before I noticed a guy standing in the entry of the gym. "Can I help you with somethin'?" I asked, pulling off my gloves.

"I'm Jared; we met a few weeks ago -"

"At the bonfire; yeah, I remember," I interrupted, extending a hand to him. He shook it, matching my strength as he did so. "What can I help you with?"

"Actually, I'm here to help you. And to apologize, I guess. None of us knew that Sam was planning on coming down here yesterday. He's always been possessive of Leah, even after they broke up. But, we didn't know that he would come down here and do that. We're all really sorry about it."

"It's not a big deal," I said, trying to play off just how fucking pissed I was.

"No, it is. He shouldn't have done that. The guys were pretty surprised to hear that you came down and yelled at him this morning," Jared continued. "Which is kind of the main reason that I'm here. Leah, uh, heard about your little escapade this morning and she's not exactly happy. I'm just giving you a fair warning," he explained. "She's pretty fucking pissed."

"Okay." Leah could be as mad as she wanted. I was only looking out for what was mine. Even if she was only mine for the moment, she was still mine. And Sam needed to be shoved off of his high horse and realize that he couldn't have her anymore.

"Okay? Dude Leah is going to come in here and scream and yell at you! Have you ever seen Leah Clearwater yell!" Jared insisted.

"I'll talk to her; don't worry about it."

"Well, then I'm going to leave before World War III begins in this place. Nice knowing you," he said, clapping me on my shoulder.

I found my way to the office again, looking for cheap furniture online. I had just decided on the bed frame thatI liked when Leah came stomping into the office, swinging the door behind her with such force the room rattled. "You lied to me," she accused.

"Yep."

"What the fuck, Nate? I told you that I wanted to talk to him. You went down there without me and you lied to me," she shouted.

"You wouldn't have let me go otherwise."

"Thank you, genius." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "We're wolves, Nate. Don't you realize that he could have killed you?"

I pushed myself up from the chair and went to stand in front of her. I grabbed the dog tags between my fingers and held them up to her. "Do you know what these mean?" She nodded. "They tell anyone else that you're my girl. Anyone who fights for this country knows that you're mine. But Sam doesn't get that yet. Okay? You're part wolf; think of it as marking my territory. I don't give a fuck who he is; I'm not scared of him." She sighed heavily, looking away from me with that angry look. "I wasn't try to piss you off, Clearwater. You were tired and needed sleep. I needed to talk to him. Are you really going to be pissed off at me for _defending _you?"

She sighed again and bobbed her head, making a disgruntled face at me. "No, I'm not," she gave in defeatedly. I just wish that you hadn't lied to me, okay?"

"I'm sorry; next time I'll inform you that your ex is a dick and I went to go beat the shit out of him, okay?" She laughed and nodded. "I thought your mom was doing dinner tonight?"

"She is; I came to pick you up. Or, well meet you so that you could drive me." I laughed at her. "Go shower, you smell," she said, smiling. "And then I'll tell you how _my_ conversation with the Asshole went today." Couldn't wait to hear that one.


	38. Chapter XXXVII

**Author's Note: I hope that you enjoy this chapter! It's a little long, but I couldn't really find a place to break it up. I'm letting you guys know now that I will be traveling tomorrow and Saturday. So I'm giving you all a choice. I can either upload a chapter tomorrow morning and one late tomorrow night. ****_OR_**** I can upload a chapter tomorrow and one sometime Saturday afternoon. It's all up to you. Review and let me know. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXXVII: ****_Leah's Point of View_**

I felt like I was falling without anything or anyone there to catch me. I wanted to fight against it, but I was too tired. And then I was being nestled into a pillow that smelled just like Nate. But it wasn't him; this scent was too faint to be him and the material too cold to be the chest that I had been resting on all night. "Where are you going?"

"Just for a run. I'll be back in an hour," he whispered back. I could feel something soft pressing into my forehead and chose to ignore everything else and drift away to dream land. His rough fingers were playing with my bangs a little and then he was gone.

I dozed for a while, but something was wrong, off. Nate. I missed him in bed next to me. Which was ridiculous if you asked me. I should be able to sleep just fine... But I couldn't. I was losing my mind, tossing and turning and wishing that he would just come back from his run. Maybe I could; no, I could _definitely_ catch up with him.

I swung upright, placing my feet on a rug. Nate didn't have a rug. The army green shirt stared at me, the letters USMC smiling up at me. I picked up the shirt, Nate's scent still lingering on it. It was stronger than the bed or the sheets, probably because he wore it more often or something. Either way, I pulled it over my head, feeling his smell wrap around me. This would work. I laid myself back down on the bed, his shirt bubbling up to my nose. With thoughts of him swirling in my brain, like some lovesick teenager, I drifted off to sleep.

"That was quick," I whispered when the tiny mattress groaned and shifted underneath me. It probably was the hour that he said; I'd just been so tired. I snuggled back into his arms, finally getting the things that I had been craving in his absence. God have mercy I'm whipped.

He hummed in response. "Too tired to do much more. It's still early, go back to sleep." As great as that sounded, I had to go on patrol. And yell at Sam. I had been meaning to do that yesterday but Nate had needed me. And go help me if I wasn't so whipped that I stayed here _just_ because he needed me to.

"I have to be on patrol at ten," I whispered.

Nate response was to pull me closer and cover us in his sheet. "It's only seven thirty." That's nice. I still had to yell at Sam. Asshole. "I'll make sure we're up," he muttered.

I wanted to tell him that I really had to go and talk to my Alpha about his stunt yesterday, that I needed to commiserate with my mother about what had happened. I needed advice on how to go forward. But Nate was just so warm and strong. His arm around my waist sent shivers down my spine. I couldn't feel anything anymore, just him. And I couldn't bring myself to say any of the things that were on my mind.

My body was robbing me of another goodnight's sleep. Soft lips and warm breath whispered down the column of my neck. I moaned and dug deeper into the warmth behind me. I had never had anyone wake up like this before. This was a dream. Definitely a dream. "I don't want to wake up," I muttered.

A chuckle tingled my spine. Hard, roughness scraped against my cheek, the friction delightful. "You said that you had to get to patrol," Nate's deep voice whispered.

I rolled and looked up at the stubble that covered his jaw. "You should shave before I get back," I said. I liked it more when he was clean shaven. The stubble was too distracting, made him look to... Yeah, stopping there. Until he knew about the imprint, I couldn't let myself think those things.

"Thanks Leah." At first, I thought that he was being sarcastic. I prepared myself for his remark about my comment, but one look in his eyes told me that it was something completely different. His jade green eyes were flat and serious. The teasing glint that I found so attractive was gone. This was no sarcasm, so what was he talking about? There was embarrassment hidden in his eyes, shame of something. Last night; he'd asked me to stay and now he was embarrassed about it, upset that he needed help.

"Any time," I said warmly. "I don't mind in the least." But now I had my own problem. I liked falling asleep next to Nate. I liked the feeling of a warm body behind me. Not any body thought; just Nate. I wanted him to hold me, like he had the night before. I wanted to be there to calm him when his nightmares got out of control. But I had no idea how to tell him how much I needed him. I didn't know how to tell him that I wanted to sleep right here with him for the rest of my life. So I just said, "I should get going. Come over for dinner?"

I nodded; I sat up and kissed his cheek before leaving. I'm not sorry to say that I stole his shirt. I ran around on patrol, replaying everything in my mind from the day before. How could Sam do that to me? Imprints were supposed to be protected at all costs. I fought to protect Emily before I had an imprint. And I hated my cousin. If Sam still loved me, like he claimed that he did, why would he go after the one person who mattered to me. Nate was on an equal level with my mother and my brother. Sam wouldn't hurt them, so why should he try to hurt Nate?

_He did _**_what_**_? _Seth growled in my head. I let the whole fight play in my head, allowing Seth to feel the clenching of my heart when Sam commanded me to lie still. The ultimate betrayal; the inability to protect my mate. _He stood up to Sam?_ I smiled, remembering when Nate had threatened to call Billy Black to get him to leave. I nodded.

Sam wouldn't let me protect him, Seth. Nate could've been killed because of what he did, I said, thinking about all the things that could've gone wrong because Nate couldn't keep himself from fighting back.

_What did he do?_ Jared snarled in my head. I let the memory play again. _What the fuck is your problem, Sam?_ he snarled. Was Jared really coming to my rescue in this? _Yeah I am. He's fucking up right and left. Sam you provoked Paul -_

_Paul needed to tell Charlie. It was time that she knew the truth._

You didn't have to attack him, Sam.

_He needed to know and understand how dangerous it is to be around us sometimes,_ Sam countered.

_Shove off,_ Quil said suddenly._ You would've attacked any guy that Leah started dating. You have Emily, Sam. Leave her alone._

All the guys were coming to my defense now, phasing in one by one as our snarls and barks got louder and louder. _I was protecting her. Leah, that's all I was doing; I was just looking out for you. You're my Pack sister._

Bullshit! I screamed. You wanted to hurt him because he actually likes me!

_If she can't be with you, she shouldn't be happy,_ Seth snarled. My baby brother leapt in front of me, standing directly between me and Sam. _How could you do that, Sam? I always thought of my as my brother. You've always claimed that you wanted to best for Leah. _

_I do! But Nate is not right for her, Seth. You guys have to see that. Leah you can fight this and find the _**_right_**_ guy to make you happy._

I made you happy once,I muttered. And you left me for your imprint. So if I can fight this, so can you. And you chose not to because you knew what I'm learning: the imprint is right. Nate is the right guy, Sam. If you want to talk to someone about fighting the imprint, why don't you find someone who hasn't been burned yet.

_Let Nate have her. That's what's best,_ Jake said. I had never felt so cared about in all my life. The guys were acting like it was Sam against us and in many ways, it was.

_Enough! I won't hear this anymore,_ Sam said. There was a unanimous feeling of the wind being knocked out of us while our hearts were squeezed and choked until all of us finally gave in, turning belly up to show submission.

_The truth hurts, doesn't it Sam?_ Jake asked.

_I said I didn't want to hear this anymore. Your little boyfriend already came down here and yelled at me. His pack of lies was more than enough. You should have heard the shit that he had to say._

Nate was here?

_This morning,_ Sam growled._ Got Emily involved in everything. I hope he's happy. Your cousin is mad at me. She hasn't spoken to me in hours._

Well at least one good thing came from this. I'm done,I muttered. I finished my patrol silently, thinking about one thing: Nate had lied to me. I asked him where he was going and he'd told me on a run. How could he do that? Why would he do that? The howl of Quil joining the patrol marked the end of mine. I guess it was time to find out.

"You lied to me," I snarled the second the office door was closed. I hadn't meant to be so forceful. I was fucking livid. At the end, before he left me for Emily, Sam lied to me all the time. Emily will swear for the rest of her life that it wasn't to see her, but I knew that it was. He was falling in love with her, even back then. I wouldn't go through this again.

"Yep." He didn't even try to deny it.

"What the fuck, Nate? I told you that I wanted to talk to him. You went down there without me _and_ you lied to me!"

"You wouldn't have let me go otherwise." Of course I wouldn't have let him go. It was too dangerous. What if he had provoked Sam and gotten hurt? I could heal, but Nate couldn't; not like I would.

"Thank you genius. We're wolves, Nate. Do you realize that he could have killed you?" I whispered, making sure that there was no one around to hear us. Nate stood from his chair and appeared in front of me, his fingers brushing the skin of my chest as he gabbed the chain that held his tags.

"Do you know what these mean?" I nodded. I knew that they were a big deal. I wasn't stupid. They were one of my most prized possessions. "They tell anyone else that you're my girl. Anyone who fights for this country knows that you're mine. But Sam doesn't get that yet. Okay?" No, I was confused. Sam didn't know what? That I was his? That he was mine? I had told Sam those exact statements multiple times. "You're part wolf; think of it as marking my territory. I don't give a fuck who he is. I'm not scared of him." Of course he wouldn't care. Of course he wasn't scared. Leave it to Nate to stand up to the wolves of La Push. "I wasn't trying to piss you off, Clearwater. You were tired and needed sleep. I needed to talk to you." I understood that. He was the kind of man my father always wanted me to find. He fought his own battles and waged his own wars. "Are you really going to be pissed off at me for _defending_ you?"

I wanted to nod and tell him that I was still angry, but my body was staring to shake my head. Finally I sighed and looked at him. "No, I'm not. I just wish that you hadn't lied to me, okay?"

"I'm sorry; next time, I'll inform you that your ex is a dick and I went to go beat the shit out of him, okay?" I giggled a little. Oh yes, Leah Clearwater can giggle when the occasion calls for it. "I thought your mom was doing dinner tonight?" I heard his stomach rumbling.

"She is. I came to pick you up." I was smiling again, glad that he hadn't tried to lie about where he was been. That didn't seem like it was his style. He was always honest. "Go shower; you smell." I sneered and curled my nose, pretending to sniff at his deliciously sweaty shirt. "And then I'll tell you how_ my _conversation with the Asshole went today."

* * *

"Well, at least all the guys were there for you today," he said when we were sitting under the canopy in Mom's backyard. It was her domain. She loved her garden. We had a raised patio that housed the patio furniture, a counter, and a barbecue. It was like our own outdoor kitchen, complete with a mini fridge that Mom housed sodas in. In the center was my mother's prized gazebo, covered and warm so that we could sit out there all year long. That was where I found myself with Nate, reiterating most of my conversation with my Pack brothers that morning. Most. I still hadn't told him about the imprint. I had to have the right timing.

"It was kind of weird, actually. I've always been the bitch of the Pack, in every way possible." Nate chuckled at little. "It was weird to see them backing me up instead of Sam for a chance. Granted, most of the guys that were yelling at him were people who were... dating. And Seth." Nate didn't reply. "Seth likes you, you know. And my mom. They want you to come around more often."

"I guess I should do that then. Maybe Seth and I could start working on some of the broken things in the house," he suggested. I bit my lip and smiled.

"You mean everything?" We laughed, Nate's arm snaking around my waist and tugged me into his side. "Did you, uh, did you sleep well last night?" I saw a little color burn in his cheeks as I asked the question. He nodded ever so slightly. "I was thinking that, uh, maybe if you were okay with it, I could stay the night again."

I bit my lip, instantly worried about what he'd say. I should've known that he wouldn't _say_ anything. He leaned over and tilted my face up, his lips engulfing mine. I guess that was my answer. "I, uh, I don't - - There isn't much room in the office. Your - - you know... stuff and." I wanted to laugh at his convoluted sentence, but I understood what he was trying to say.

"I've got a locker and a duffle. Besides, it's not like I wear much clothing anymore. I'm too warm for that." He nodded, although there was a question in his eyes. "Wolf thing." His nod was slower this time. He leaned down again and kissed me, telling me in his own way that he still wasn't freaked out.

So I kissed him back, hoping that he got my message._ I love you._


	39. Chapter XXXVIII

**Author's Note: Okay, please don't be upset with me. It will get better; I promise! Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXXVIII**

Leah had been keeping me captive for the last few weeks, but I was more than willing. In the mornings, we would wake up and head over to her house. Seth and I had begun our assault on the house, fixing all the things that were broken. Sometimes, I would tell him we had to go get parts, but I was looking at apartments. I hadn't seen the insides of any of them yet, but the search was beginning. And when Seth wasn't helping me apartment hunt, on strict order not to tell his sister, we were in the garage, working on the vents for the dryer.

Leah would run patrol in the mornings and the the two of us would drive our asses back to the gym. I needed to make more money if I wanted to get out of my uncle's gym, but there weren't many jobs open in this small town. So MMA fights seemed the best way to start saving money. I hadn't told Leah. She'd only freak out about it.

It was interesting to me that a girl as brave and strong as Leah, never mind her supernatural abilities, had a hard time seeing me fight. She wouldn't give me the specifics when I asked, just that it was a wolf thing. She would explain it later. So, our afternoons were spent sparring and training. My first match was coming up in Seattle in just a few weeks. Another thing that I hadn't told Leah quite yet.

But the evenings were the best. Leah claimed the Sue couldn't say anything about her 21-year-old daughter about where she slept. I think it was her way of saying she hadn't told her mother where she was staying at night. When the day was over, Leah would shower and pull on one of my shirts. I had noticed that my number of sleep shirts was slowly dwindling. It had started shortly after Leah had started coming around more. But Leah never said something about my sleeping shirtless, it just didn't stop my wondering what was happening to them. But then Leah would come in from the bathroom with one of them on. Who needed to sleep with a shirt on anyways?

She would crawl into bed beside me and collapse for a few hours, her head tucked against my shoulder and her arm slung over my waist. Before she fell asleep, she would amuse herself by tracing the scars on my chest and shoulders. Finally, she would yawn and drift off.

The first night that she'd come back to sleep with me, she'd forgotten to tell me that she had to leave around midnight. We'd only been asleep for a few hours when I felt her shifting away from me. In the Corps, we were trained to wake up and be prepared for anything and everything that could happen. I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back, not in the gym for a few moments.

Leah patiently waited for me to come back to the States. "You're okay. I was trying not to wake you up; pretty stupid of me. Sorry," she muttered. "I have to go and meet with the Cullens." The Cullens?

"The vampires?" She nodded. "Why are you meeting with the things that you're supposed to kill?"

"They know more about the newborns than we do. Newborns are stronger because they still have all their human blood, but they have't learned how to fight with strategy yet. We don't know how to fight them, but the leeches do. We've been training with them at night," she explained. "I'll be back around three."

She rolled over and moved to kiss my cheek. I felt her coming closer and turned, catching her lips with mine. I kissed her slowly and sweetly, trying to say goodbye. "Be safe, Leah. I'll see you soon," I whispered after a little while. I laid back on the bed and rolled on my stomach, listening to her leave.

The problem was that I was afraid to go back to sleep once Leah was away from me. It was like her holding me held my nightmares away. So I dozed, thinking about all the places that Seth and I had looked at. Kid was a motormouth with an opinion about everything. Every apartment that we drove by had a comment attacked. "That one is nice," he said about the last one. I had quickly learned that it was his way of saying he didn't like it. So while I dozed, I contemplated each little condo that I had driven by.

The one that I liked the most was a little more expensive, but only three blocks from where Leah was. I mean, that was like a walk in the park to her. Her wolf form could jog that in no time flat. There was something about being so close to her that seemed like the best idea. I had a showing for it just before the battle. Leah and I had talked about me living someone else a little, me trying to hint that I might be looking at places. Leah didn't seem to pick up on it. The condo was the only one that I had scheduled a looking for.

What the hell did one wear to a showing? I could ask Jeanie, although with my luck she would insist on picking out my outfit. No; not Jeanie. Whatever; I didn't even care. I just wanted to look and see if this place would be nice enough for Leah to stay with me. My thoughts turned to her, dozing off a little more until I was more asleep than awake. I was seeing sand around me, not the bed and the ceiling in front of me. And then something warm and heavy thudded down on top of me.

I groaned as my back ricocheted pain up my spine. "Sorry," Leah muttered. "Are you okay? Shit, I'm really sorry Nate," she said when I hadn't responded.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," I assured her, breathing deeply. "I've had worse." She frowned at my words and rolled off of me to face me. I laid my arm out beside me, feeling Leah's short hair come in contact with my bicep. "How was the thing that you went to?"

"Fine," she said with a shrug. "I hate them." I laughed and snuggled her closer. I wasn't tired anymore. I didn't want to go back to sleep. Leah seemed to be right there with me. "Hey, you, uh, you want to go to the cliff for sunrise?"

I tried to keep my face passive, like what she was asking was a simple request. But my heart was thudding in my chest. I knew what that meant to her, probably better than anyone else. I actually couldn't believe that she was asking me at all. I had never expected it from her. We did sunset whenever we weren't busy, but I adamantly avoided sunrise. Anytime before noon was too early, actually. I didn't want her to feel like I was pushing on her father's territory.

"Sure," I said simply, pushing myself up right. The sun would come up in two hours. We could sit and enjoy the fact that it was just us two for a couple hours. "If you're sure," I added. She laughed and nodded like I had asked her if she knew her own name. She didn't both changing, but I still pulled a shirt on. With Leah the human furnace sitting next to me, it wasn't likely that I wouldn't get cold. But I didn't want a repeat of the morning that she had found out about my scars.

Leah and I walked up the cliff hand and hand, like we were a couple. I mean, we were. But it was always hard for me to imagine _why_ Leah Clearwater wanted to be around me, that she still wanted to be my girl. I had so much shit to deal with, I was amazed she wanted to deal with it too. But she didn't seem to have any problems dealing with mine. We settled in what had become our usual spots on the cliff. It wasn't like it used to be. Now she sat on my lap, tangling her legs with mine while I held her waist tightly, afraid that she would fall into the water.

I knew that it couldn't hurt her; nothing could. But I didn't want her hurt at all, even if there was the smallest possibility. "Hey, I have something that I want to tell you about," she whispered. "It's kind of important. And I need you to be open minded."

She took everything I said without a problem. The least I could do is listen to what she had to say. I nodded, resting my chin on her shoulder. "Do you remember when I was explaining about the Third Wife and Taha Aki?" I nodded again, kneading her shoulder with my jaw. "Taha Aki loved her unlike any other because the wolf in him found her as his mate too. The Pack, we call it imprinting," she continued. "It's supposed to be rare, you know? Not something that all of us do," she muttered.

My stomach dropped as I realized what she was trying to say. "I should... I should get going. I have something to do," I muttered. I tried to lightly place her on the grass beside me, but I wasn't sure how well I succeeded. "I'm - - I got to go."

"Nate, wait!" I heard her shouted, but I couldn't turn around. This was what I got for putting myself out there. I knew what would happen if I let myself fall too hard. And that's what I had done. I had let myself fall for Leah Clearwater. I had let myself fall in love with her.

And now she was trying to put me down easy, trying to tell me that there was a _chance_ she could leave me for someone else. It wouldn't be her choice; it would just happen. "I'm sorry," I said again, running to the car.

"Nate, wait!"


	40. Chapter XXXIX

**Author's Note: Sorry that it's up so late. I'm really, super sorry. Unfortunately, I cannot control the airports and their stupid delays that mess up your entire travel plan. Really sorry! But enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter XXXIX:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

The battle was coming up too soon. I had to tell him; I couldn't just keep hiding from him how important he was. He needed to know. I needed him to know. But Nate was the kind of guy who lived by the philosophy of actions speak louder than words. So I decided to bring him to the cliff, trying to get him to understand that he was on a level of no guy that I had ever met before; that I loved him. "It's kind of important. And I need you to keep an open mind," I said as a warning.

He brought his head down to my shoulder and laid his chin there, nodding alone with what I said. "The Pack, we call it imprinting. It's supposed to be rare, you know?" I lifted my head to look back at him and watch realization fly into his eyes. "No something that all of us do," I continued. The fire just kept flashing in his eyes with every word that I said. Good; maybe I wouldn't have to talk to him about it. Once he understood, he would know what it was and we would be able to move on.

"I should - - I should get going. I have something to do," he said, throwing me off of him and almost off the cliff. "I'm... I've got to go."

This was what I had been afraid of. He'd figured it out and now he didn't want me. I couldn't blame him. It would be nearly impossible to stick with the same girl, a girl with all the fucked up brains that I had, for the rest of your life because of some weird, wolf claim that she had on you. Yeah, no; I couldn't blame him for running. "Nate, wait!" If I could explain that this was his choice, that it didn't have to be a forever thing, maybe, just maybe, I could convince him to do forever with me.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Nate, wait!" I tried again, but I heard his footsteps through the forest as he sprinted back to his car. As he sprinted away from me. That was what was really going on here. He was leaving me because he did't want me. The harsh reality that was my life. I had put everything that I had, save three words, back out there. And the exact thing that I had feared had come true. Nate hadn't wanted me. It was all just an illusion; he just _thought_ that he wanted me.

I swallowed the tears and looked away from the forest, out over the ocean. Why couldn't I turn into a bird or something? That would make my life a little easier. I could fly away from everything bad that was coming after me. I could get away from all of the hopes and dreams that I'd allowed myself to have.

I shoved myself upright and stood on my toes, leaning out over the ocean until the weightlessness took me over and I was soaring through the sky. I made sure that I put my hands together, the palms out flat to break the surface of the water. Just like my mother had taught me. I floated underneath the water, wishing that I had my long hair so that it would be suspended around me and I wouldn't have to see the vast emptiness that was engulfing me.

I knew better than to let myself get in too deep. That was the thing about me and Nate; we were both afraid of getting hurt. But leave it to him to get me to let up and open up to him. Leave it to him to be the only guy that I would ever fall in love with again. And then leave me. Not just leave me, but run away because he knew what he was to me.

Despite my blurry vision, his dog tags floated up into my line of sight. It was supposed to be his way of telling others that I was his, that no one else could have me. I surfaced, the need for air having become a necessity after almost two minutes. I swam swiftly towards shore, wishing that I could have just laid there and died. Because life without Nate would be worse than that. I grabbed at the chain around my neck, clutching at it and starting to pull.

But I couldn't.

I couldn't manage to pull the flimsy chain free from my neck because it wasn't worth it. Nate may not want to be mine, but I would always be his. And until he asked for the stupid pieces of etched metal back, I wouldn't let them go. They were the only things that I had left of him now. Well, that and the few shirts that I had managed to commandeer before I'd thought about telling him.

"Leah?" Kim. Fucking Kim. Of all the people that it had to be, it had to be the quiet, shy little imprint who had pined after Jared for so long. It had come to a _joy_ to her to find out that he wanted to be hers for the rest of his life. She got everything that she wanted when he'd told her that she was his soulmate. Of course I'd get her here with me.

Although she was a right sight better than Emily.

"What do you want, Kim?" I snapped. She frowned a little.

"I saw someone jump and I wanted to make sure that they were okay. I - I didn't know it was you. Are you - - Is everything okay?" she asked.

"No, nothing is okay. You and Jared get to live your happily ever after just like in the fairytales and I don't. Because that's the reality of my life. It just fucking sucks. Maybe _you_ can explain this shit to _my _imprint. Because he doesn't seem to understand that I just want to love him. I just want him. But no; no, he doesn't want me," I shouted at her. "So, no, Kimberly. Nothing is okay."

I sank down in the sand, feeling the grain stick to my uncomfortably. There was a long pause and then she sighed, settling down next to me. "I'm sorry that happened," she whispered. "I can only think that he will come around. It's not easy for us to just accept."

"Don't go there, okay? He's different than the rest of you. For starters, I'm not like the rest of the wolves," I snapped.

"Yeah, you're right; he's not like the rest of us. Charlie, Ryanne, Claire, Emily, me; we all know each other. We hang out together. After your first attempt didn't go so well, you stopped trying. Nate isn't a part of the Pack like the rest of us are." I frowned at her. "I didn't mean that," she quickly retracted. "I didn't mean that. I -"

"It's cool," I insisted. "I like seeing the side of you that isn't quite as shy," I said quietly.

"I can actually talk," she insisted with a laugh. I just didn't care about that. Nate had left me. "I know that you don't like any of us, Leah. Well, except for Ryanne, but the rest of us are nothing." I laughed, surprised that a part of me actually wanted to tell her that they were important to me in their own way. "I'm sure that I'm the last person that you want to talk to about this, Leah. So maybe you could go and talk to someone that you _do_ want to talk to."

As far as suggestions went, it wasn't the worst idea I'd ever heard. Actually, it would be a good idea. I could talk to my mother about this. She wouldn't understand... But she would listen since the one person that I wanted to talk to had walked away from me. "Hey, uh, thanks Kim," I whispered as I shoved myself up and ran to the house. Nate wouldn't be there waiting for me. Not this time. "Mom!" I called, pushing the door open.

"In the kitchen Leah," she called back. I was trying to keep myself from crying, but I must have failed. My mom's face fell as I looked down at her. "What happened sweetie?" she asked, patting the counter.

"You remember when you and Dad used to say that the truth will set us free?" I whispered, my voice breaking a little bit. She nodded. I jumped up on the counter. "You guys didn't talk about it setting someone else free." She frowned. "I tried to tell him about the imprint and he figured it before I had a chance to explain. He walked away, Mom. He said that he had 'things to do.'"

"Just give him some time," she said with a pat on my thigh.

"Why do you all keep saying that?" I shouted at her, jumping out of her kitchen and pacing the small confines of the dining room. "Nate has faced down shit that the rest of us have never even dreamed about. He doesn't need time, Mom. He's gone. That's the reality, okay?"

He was gone.


	41. Chapter XL

**Author's Note: First chapter of today. I hope you all enjoy!**

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**Chapter XL:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

Nate hadn't said a word to me in the last few days. I kept coming by the gym, trying to get him alone so that I could talk to him. But he wouldn't even look at me anymore. I didn't know what to say, what to do. I thought at first that I could come down to the gym and he would have to talk to me, listen to me, hear me out. He wouldn't even spar with me anymore!

I was growing desperate. I just wanted him to listen to me, to let me explain. But the imprint have been the straw the broke the camel's back. He could handle all the weird that I came with, all the weird that he had, but this was what he couldn't handle. I couldn't bring myself to force him, to ask him about it. It would only hurt him. If there was one thing that I couldn't do it was hurt him.

I hadn't slept in days, nightmares plaguing me every time that I closed my eyes. Whether they were mine or Nate's, I wasn't sure. I couldn't eat because everything just made me throw up. Worse than all of that was knowing that if I was feeling this way, Nate was feeling something too. We didn't know how the imprint rejecting the wolf would effect the wolf. At least, we hadn't known. It hurt, worse than any pain that I had ever felt. I felt like my heart was being tossed through a shredder while it was still partially attached to my chest. I just wanted to see him again. And I needed to make sure that no matter what he thought of me, he came down to the Rez tomorrow while I was at the battle. So I ran into his bedroom, since he was no where else on the floor.

It was gone. Everything that I had grown to love about the small space was gone. I could see the floor now that all of his clothing was gone. The duffle bag that was usually exploding in the corner had disappeared. His little cot bed had been removed, hiding in the corner next to the desk. How could he do this to me? He went back to Montana, more than likely. It was the only other place that he had family to go to. I couldn't let him leave; I couldn't let him go.

"Jeanie!" I practically screamed as I left the office and smacked right into Frank. "Hey Frank... Do you, uh, do you know where he is?" I begged.

"He didn't say anything," Frank assured me. "Thought he would have told you. He hasn't shut up about you in weeks," he added. Yeah, that was all over now. He was gone now. "I'll tell him you stopped by."

I just nodded and ran out the doors and straight home, not bothering to look at anything around me. I curled on my mother's bed, clinging my dad's old pillow and wishing that I could drift off to sleep.

Whether or not Frank had actually told Nate, I wasn't sure. He didn't reach out to me the rest of the night. The next morning, I was sitting in Sam and Emily's, holding a strong cup of coffee between my hands when a knock sounded on the door. Emily was saying her goodbyes to Sam and getting a room set up for Claire. Paul was on the porch with Charlotte. And I was sitting here drinking coffee. I stood up and pulled the door open, expecting to see Kim or someone. "Nate?"

"I told you that I'd be here and I never break a promise," he said. I stepped back and allowed him access into the house. "Place is kind of big," he commented as he looked around.

"Nate, can I please just explain?" I begged. I was less anxious with him right there in front of me. "Please?"

"There's nothing to explain, Leah. It's fine. I know about it now," he cut me off. There was no acceptance in his voice, just anger. The problem was, I couldn't understand _why_ he was so angry. Nate had always been able to tell me what he did and didn't want, even if it took him a little while. He could have just told me that he didn't want me. I would have learned to deal with that. I mean, hadn't I done that before?

"Leah, we're getting ready to go," Sam said as he pounded down the stairs. He growled as he saw Nate. Nate didn't seem to care; he was glaring at Sam with a look that said that he should be dead. "You've got two minutes."

I hadn't said anything to Sam about Nate. It would only cause the asshole Alpha to gloat about things that he knew nothing about. He didn't know how it felt to be rejected by the person that you love. And I loved Nate a thousand times more than I had ever loved Sam so this hurt a million times worse. Sam walked outside, waiting impatiently for me to join him. "I have to go," I whispered, wishing that I could have more time with him to explain everything. "I'll uh, I'll see you later, okay?" I added.

Nate just nodded, his jaw set hard in a look that I hadn't seen since Scott and Allie had been there. I looked down, knowing that everything that I had wanted to build with him was gone. I walked away then, not wanting to watch him hate me. So I just looked down and walked away. "Leah!" he shouted, his hand wrapping around my elbow. He spun me around and into his chest, arms falling over my waist. Maybe all hope wasn't lost yet. "Stay safe, okay? I'll, uh, I'll be here when you get back."

I clung to him for a moment, loving his arms around my slim form. I was so tempted to say the words, to let him know how I really felt about him being around me again. But I didn't; I couldn't. He didn't want me. It was the impending danger that told him that he should care about me. I couldn't do that to him. If I said the words and walked away, he would feel guilty about things that he couldn't change. I was the one that had fallen in love with him. It wasn't his fault. "Please stay safe, Leah," he begged. I nodded and pulled away, not looking back at him as I made my way to the forest.

The guys were arguing about something or another while we were waiting for the battle to officially begin. _Hey,_ Quil said inside my head. _Everything okay?"_

Why wouldn't it be?

_You just seem a little agitated,_ he said simply. The guys were still arguing, not hearing us behind him. I replayed the entire conversation with Nate, what little of it there had been, in my head, letting Quil hear it. _I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better, it's probably not as bad as you think. He didn't let you finish Leah. You just have to tell him that he didn't let you finish._

He's been avoiding me for the last few days, Quil. Him coming down to Sam and Emily's was the first time that I've seen him in ages,I explained.

_You'll have another chance, Leah. He told you that he started leasing an apartment? _

What?

_Yeah, he started leasing the old place of my mom's,_ Quil said, showing me the place in his mind._ You know, in case you ever need that information,_ he teased.

I just laughed a little and swiveled my head towards him. Thanks Quil, I whispered. His head dipped in acknowledgement.

_Let's go to the clearing, _Sam said now that all of us were gathered together. Jared kept replaying images of kissing Kim in his head. _Knock it off, dude,_ Sam warned with a growl. Sam's own thoughts were of Emily and their night together. I fought the urge to vomit as he moaned in his own head.

_Sam!_ Quil said. Paul still hadn't shown up, so there was no one to tease him about his nastiness. _You're getting a little carried away over there._

Sam apologized but it didn't seem like he really meant it. Paul leapt into the fray, his thoughts consumed with thoughts about love and Ariana and Charlie. It was all rather disgusting if you asked me. _Focus. Love is great and all, but this isn't the time for it,_ Sam barked.

_Says the man who fucked up someone else's imprint because he's that selfish,_ Seth said, the sound strangled. Leave it to my brother.

_Shut up, Seth. Now is not the time,_ Sam countered. Jared joined the rest of us. I hadn't realized that he wasn't with us, his thoughts were that freaking loud! Seth didn't say anything in response to Jared's announcement. I ignored the rest of the comments from the rest of the guys.

"They're coming," the quite little witch with the dark hair said. I had to go home; I had to talk to Nate. So I had to survive this first.


	42. Chapter XLI

**Author's Note: I don't have much to say, so just enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter XLI:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

It was all going pretty well. My brothers were getting more wound up by the moment. Every vamp that they killed only seemed to spur them on to kill another. I was just drained. There was nothing in me that was wanting to fight anymore. I couldn't find any anger or fire in my belly to spur me forward. No, instead I was just going through them motions of fighting.

The mama leech was fighting a few. Paul had formed a team with the big burly leech that I didn't know anything about. Blondie and the Seer were hanging out on the edges, killing off the fastest. The Doc and the one who had trained were each fighting their own. We wolves were just helping out where necessary. But I was so physically exhausted, I didn't see one of the parasites jump up on to my back. I flipped him over, but he only grabbed hold of my ankle. There was a snap and pop that I easily ignored. _Leah! _It was Jake shouting in my head. Of all the guys, not counting Seth because brother trumps wolf, Jake was the one who cared the most about me. I think it had something to do with the fact that I was Ryanne's best bitch.

I'm fine, I'm fine, I reassured him. But I couldn't catch my breath. Jake was standing over me, his large form covering all of me while I recovered. This was bad. It shouldn't be this bad.

_Leah, head back,_ Sam commanded.

_She doesn't need to go, Sam,_ Jake interfered. He was so close to stepping into his Alpha roll. I just wished he'd do it already so the rest of us could move on with our lives.

_I say she does,_ Sam said, punctuating the sentence with a kill.

"Jake!" I heard Ryanne's scream clear as day. Jake needed to get to her. If I couldn't have my imprint, if I couldn't be happy, all my brothers should be. I shoved Jake away, knowing that Ryanne needed him more than I ever would. I could be dying and Ryanne would still need him more.

He started sprinting towards the campsite, ignoring the rest of us. The leeches that he'd been holding off jumped on me the moment they had the chance. There were only three and on any other day, I would have been just fine. It was the imprint, or the lack thereof, I guess. It was finally hitting me. Days without sleep, days without food; it was all finally catching up to me. There was a part of me that didn't want fight anymore. I could let the parasitic assholes take me and I could be done with life.

Jake was at my side as soon as I started seeing black spots in my vision from the leech that was suffocating me. Jake tore it from me instantly. I've got this, I told him, but the sounds were broken while I was trying to catch my breath.

_Let me help,_ he insisted, but I shook my head.

Sam will only send me home and I've got this.

The truth was, I didn't have this. But this pain, the physical pain of fighting a losing battle was nothing compared to what I felt when I thought about the fact that I was going to have to go back to the house and see the imprint that didn't want me anymore. Regardless of what I'd said to Jake though, he was still helping me. He grabbed another beast and tore it apart before Ryanne's shrill scream pierced the air. Without any vampires choking me, I was good to fight again. _I'm good now. Go!_ I shouted in his head. He turned with a nod, heading straight into a group of newborns that I don't think even Jake saw. _Jake!_ me and the rest of the Pack screamed, but it was too late. One of the parasites managed to get its arms around his neck, like it had me, and was slowly choking the life out of him.

Ryanne was still shouting, begging for Jake. Through the link, I could feel him losing the battle. I couldn't let this happen to my only friend. She was probably the only person that I had now who wasn't going to judge me. I wouldn't let her feel even a fraction of what I was feeling in losing Nate right now and that's what she would feel if Jake died. I couldn't let her feel that.

As soon as Jake was unconscious on the ground, I wrapped my long teeth around the vampire that was trying to kill him and heaved him straight into the fire. The sounds of his pleas filled the air and filled me with an added satisfaction. Ryanne screamed again, this time managing to pull Jake out of his little coma. He sprinted off towards the clearing that she was hiding in. I don't even think he realized what the monsters had done to him, the pieces of flesh that were hanging off of him. I don't think he realized that he was limping.

I turned around to see the rest of the bodies being gathered for burning. I helped out, but I felt like I was nothing more than a shell of a person. Everyone was excitedly thinking about going home to their imprints, crawling underneath the covers and curling up with the women that they loved. I wanted to yell at them all, to tell them all to shut up. Their imprints wanted them. God only knows why the girls would electively choose to be with these losers. I mean, who would date Paul out of her own freewill? Hanging out with Paul was like trying to eat a firecracker, it was just a bad idea.

But that wasn't the biggest problem that I had. It was knowing that no one was going to bother to think of me and the fact that my man was literally fighting the imprint with everything that he had. I was good enough to be his PTSD buddy and his person to talk to, but I wasn't good enough to take the place that he had once given to Allie. No; no one would be that special for him again, I guess. I had just fooled myself into thinking that I could actually be the person that he needed. Stupid fucking spirits._ Let's go home,_ Sam suggested.

He wasn't paying any attention to me. In fact, we phased and pulled on clothing as we waled to the house and he still didn't say anything. He walked straight into the house and up the stairs to the bedroom that he and Emily shared. Quil found his little infant imprint. It was still weird seeing them together, but a man with a child was always an adorable thing to watch. Paul walked straight upstairs to the room that Charlie now lived in. Jared scooped Kim up off the love seat and made his way to the couch. Embry said something about staying with Ryanne. I thought about making up some bullshit excuse and going over there so that I didn't have to say goodbye to Nate tonight, but I couldn't do it.

Nate was grunting as he lifted weights in the backyard from the set that wasn't even used anymore. "Nate?" I called, not wanted to scare him by coming any closer. He looked at me in the glowing porch light. For a moment, I thought I saw a look of relief and love pass through his face, but it was quickly hidden away again if it actually existed.

He settled the weights back down in their cradle and crossed the yard. I was shocked when he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me tight into his chest. I could hear his heart hammering in his chest as he held me close, like the proximity was going to cause his heart to stop. I felt something press into my sweat slicked hair, but I wasn't sure. I mean, it's not like he would kiss me anymore. Not after everything that had happened. "Are you okay?" I wanted to shake my head, to tell him how guilty I felt.

The entire right half of Jake's body was shattered because he'd been protecting me and distracted. He had walked right into a group of vampires that were going to kill him and it had been all my fault. But I knew Nate. He would feel obligated to make me feel better. So I told him that I was fine. "Good," he said. "I should get going."

There were no other words after that. He grabbed his keys and walked out the front door without another word. And I knew right then it would be the last time that I would ever see him. The thought made my heart hurt. I wanted him to love me, to hold me, to tell me that everything that I had been responsible for wasn't actually my fault. Instead, I was left to sit in a house full of imprints with nothing by my guilt to keep my company.

* * *

I sat in my room and didn't say anything to anyone. Jake had some great big romantic weekend planned for him and Ryanne. I tried to be happy for them, but I was just waiting for the lack of nutrients to finally kill me. It was a slow and painful death, but one that I fully deserved. I shouldn't have been stupid enough to think that I was worth loving.

Quil didn't bother knocking, he just came right in. "You remember when I said that guys are kind of dense and that he didn't let you finish?" he asked immediately. I nodded, even though my eyes were still fixed on the spot on the wall. "Go talk to him, Leah. Don't leave it like this. You're hurting yourself." Who cares? "You're hurting him." He wrote down the address of Nate's new apartment, which was only three blocks from my home, and left without a word.

I knocked on the door, waiting impatiently for Nate to answer. He had a hastily thrown on shirt and looked like he hadn't slept in days. He looked terrible, nothing like the Nate that I knew and loved. "Leah?" he sounded shocked, like he hadn't expected to see me again.

"I know that you hate me," I began quietly, knowing that the words were going to hurt as they came out of my mouth. "I'm really sorry for everything that happened. But I - - I really - " I could feel the tears threatening. "I was hoping -"

Nate hushed me and pulled me tight against his chest with a whispered, "Come here." I came willing enough, clinging to him with everything that I had in me. "It's okay, Clearwater. I'm here," he muttered. "I'm here."


	43. Chapter XLII

**Author's Note: Okay, here we go everyone. I hope you all are happy with it. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter XLII**

I was standing outside of the house, not wanting to go in. But I had promised Leah that I would stay at this house while she was off at the battle. I was trying to make it easier for the both of us by not being around. The day after she'd told me that she might imprint one day I'd went down and signed the lease. I didn't tell Jeanie or frank where I was living. I couldn't risk them saying anything to Leah. The whole point of me avoiding her was to make this easier for her. I knew that we had started caring about each other. Hell, I was in love with Leah Clearwater. It would be easier if this was just over and there was no other contact.

But I had to make sure that she was okay after she came back from this war. I couldn't handle it if Leah was hurt. I don't know what I would do if something happened to her. So I was standing outside of the stupid, fucking house and finally knocked on the door. Leah looked shocked, but I couldn't let myself talk to her. It would only hurt me home. She kept trying to tell me that she just wanted to explain, that she just needed a second, but I couldn't let her. Sam gave us two minutes to say goodbye. Just shrugged it off until she said two sentences. "I have to go. I'll, uh, I'll see you later," she whispered.

I just couldn't bring myself to look at her, to say goodbye when I could relate to where she was going. She was going into war, the one place that I never wanted anyone to go. I made the mistake of looking up to see her sad eyes before she turned around and started walking out the door. "Leah!" I shouted. I wanted to tell her that I was sorry, that I didn't want to hurt her. But I couldn't. It would only hurt the both of us more in the long run. So instead, I pulled her to my chest, my heart relaxing for the first time in days. "Stay safe okay?" I needed her to stay safe, to come back. Even if she hated me for the rest of my life, I needed her to come back here. "I'll - uh - I'll be here when you get back." She had to come back.

She was holding onto me like she never wanted to let me go. That was the hardest part about all of this. One day she would imprint on someone else and they would live a long, happy life together. I couldn't be the person that was just going to sit here and wait for her to leave me. "Please stay safe, Leah." It was the only thing that I could hope for. I wanted her to stay here with me for the rest of her life. But she'd made it clear that one day, some day, she'd end up leaving me for her real soulmate. And I wasn't going to be the guy.

She walked away and I walked outside to the weight set. That was all I did during the duration of the battle. I helped the deaf girl, Charlotte, go and get little sister, but other than that, I didn't do much else. I was lucky that I was still alive. I hadn't eaten in a few days. I sure as hell hadn't slept because all I dreamt about was Leah being stuck in the sand with me, James beating Leah, Leah beating me. They wouldn't go away. I couldn't protect her from James and I couldn't save myself. Instead, I spent hours working on my new little apartment, making sure that I got everything just right.

But all the lack of sleep had my arms shaking as I lifted another set of weights over my head. "Nate?" The quiet voice was honestly the last thing that I wanted to hear. I couldn't stand how perfect it sounded, how much it hurt to have her there. But I looked up at her anyways. There were no bruises, no cuts, nothing was swollen. She was fine. Thank God she was fine. I dropped the weights back on their hooks and jumped up, acting without thinking.

I pulled her tight against my chest. She was safe. She had come back without a single scrape on her. I would praise any god that existed for that. "Are you okay?" There was a part of me that wanted her to say that she wasn't okay, that she needed me to stay here and hold her like this forever. But instead, she nodded. So I wasn't needed, not anymore. One day this would be her imprint's job. "Good." I pulled away from her and set her down on the ground again. No need for me to hang around where I'm not wanted. "I should get going."

I pulled away from her and walked out the door, wishing that I could kiss her one more time. But it would only cause more problems for Leah later. If we kept hanging out together, she would have a harder time telling me goodbye when her imprint finally came around. I was struggling to tell her goodbye now.

The apartment was empty and clean, just as I had left it. I couldn't let myself fall down on the bed. I would only sweat all over my new sheets and wake up every half an hour. No, instead I stripped my shirt off and stood in front of the bag that I'd set up in what should have been the office. I kept punching and punching, feeling the anger boil in my chest. Why could I have one good thing? I loved Leah Clearwater. I loved the way that she fought for the things that she believed in. I loved that she was strong and slowly healing herself. I loved that she didn't take shit from anyone. I loved her.

And I couldn't have her.

I sank down on the ground and leaned back against the wall. "I'm so sorry, Leah," I muttered. I had seen the hurt in her eyes when she'd gone to walk away for the battle. I was trying to protect her from any pain that she could feel. The problem was that this was like stitches. To make the pain go away, I had to cause a little. "I'm really sorry," I said, pushing myself up again so that I could finish the bag.

I wasn't sure how long I had been standing there hitting the bag. I knew that my knuckles were bleeding, but that was about it. There was a loud knock on the door that I didn't really register at first. But there were only a few people who had my address and if they were here then I needed to get the door. I quickly pulled on a tank top, wishing that it was a shirt that would better cover my scars, and walked towards the door. "Leah?" My voice sounded shitty even to me.

"I know that you hate me," she whispered. Shit; that wasn't what I wanted her to feel. I didn't hate her; nothing could ever make me hate her. "But I... I really," I watched in horror as tears started trickling down cheeks in a steady torrent. "I was just hoping -"

I had never seen Leah cry. This wasn't what I wanted her to feel. I wasn't trying to hurt her. I was just trying to protect her. "Come here," I managed to say, pulling her into my chest. It felt so right to have her in my arms again. "It's okay, Clearwater," I muttered, stroking up her back. "I'm here. I'm here."

Her energy was flagging, her knees buckling. "It's okay, Leah," I promised, stooping to pull her into my arms, cuddling her close to my chest.

"I'm sorry that you hate me for it," she hiccuped. "I didn't mean for it to happen, but I'm not sorry that it did." I wasn't sure what she was talking about. "I know that you don't want me here, but I needed to talk to you."

I hushed her and walked to my room, resting her in one arm and my knee while I grabbed a pair of sweatpants for her to wear. "It's okay Leah. I'm glad that you're here," I admitted. I had never seen her cry. I didn't even know her tear ducts worked. I wasn't sure how to handle this, how to make her stop crying. But I did know that I wanted to stop the tears. I'd do whatever it took. "Come on," I said, putting her on the bed.

I was probably blushing like a little girl when I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of her pants and peeled them down her legs, the dirt brushed to the ground as I shook them out. I was quick to replace her shorts with my sweatpants. She was still sobbing, the occasional hiccup sounding in the air. "What happened, Leah?" She hadn't looked right since she got back from the battle. I settled on the bed beside her, gathering her to my chest. "Tell me."

"Jake got hurt," she whispered, burying her face into my pec. "He was trying to help me and he ended up almost dead. It was all my fault. I almost let my brother get killed. I didn't mean to. I didn't want him to get hurt. I told him to leave. The vampires wouldn't get - - I couldn't do anything to save him. I tried," she kept saying, but she wasn't really making any sense.

"Everything is going to be okay, Leah. Jake will heal and get better. You're okay now," I assured her.

"I'm sorry that you're so upset that I imprinted on you," she muttered. "I can't control it, you know."

"What? You... You imprinted on me?" No, that wasn't it. She'd told me that she could imprint. That was what she was trying to tell me that day... Wasn't it? "No, you didn't. That's what you were telling me the other day. You thought that you might imprint on someone one day," I denied.

"You thought that I was... breaking up with you? No, Nate, I love you." Her face fell as soon as the words left her mouth, but her tears had finally stopped. She... loved me?


	44. Chapter XLIII

**Chapter XLIII**

"You love me?" Her face was beet red as she stared at my belly button to avoid my eye. "Leah, please look at me," I begged her. She didn't move. "Please."

She finally looked up at me, her milk chocolate eyes shining with tears and apprehension. "Yeah, Nate; I do," she whispered. I wanted to push her, to make her say it again just because I loved hearing the words. But I was distracted by the unfiltered love that was staring at me. I mean, I hated the idea of love and falling in love and even I couldn't claim that she didn't love me. It was staring me in the face. I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers sweetly, too distracted to say anything back. I wanted more the moment that her lips touched mine, but I had other things to think about. I had hurt her when I had left.

I had been so stupid. I should have just let her finish. I could have saved us both so much pain. What was wrong with me? Running away was probably the most selfish thing that I could have done. I should have stayed there, even if she was breaking up with me, and taken it like a man. A _real_ man would have let her say her piece before he left. There was nothing I could do about my stupid actions now, but I could make sure that Leah was sure that I would never hurt her again. Slowly, I started to pull away, ready to tell her the same.

But Leah wasn't something that could be controlled. Her hands came up to my cheeks to pull me down against her mouth again. She growled as I slipped my tongue to her lower lip, asking her if she would let me in. I wouldn't blame her if she wouldn't. I had just up and left, too afraid of what she was trying to tell me and sure that I knew what she was saying. Instead of letting me in, Leah took control. She rolled herself on top of me, straddling my hips. I could feel the heat of her along the length of my body while her hands dug themselves into my hair. I rested my own hands on the gentle curves of her hips, squeezing slightly. "If you ever pull that shit again," she said, sitting up a little and grinding her hips against mine, "I'll rip your dick off."

I laughed. That was the Leah that I loved. "I won't leave you again, Leah. I'm so sorry. I never meant -" She kissed me, cutting off my words.

"Too much talking," she muttered, pulling at my hair just a little bit. I stretched my neck, trying to get closer to her. Leah eventually pulled me over and was lying beneath me, her hands wrapped around my waist now. She slid her fingers under my shirt and up my spine, tracing the scars. Who would have thought that it was something that she would love to do? Things were heating up way too fast here.

"Leah, stop," I whispered, pushing her off of me slowly and standing up to get off the bed.

"Seriously?" She flopped down in the sea of pillows. "What's wrong?"

"I hurt you Leah. I looked up imprinting; I read about it. I remember what you had to say about the legends. I should have let you finish and I'm really sorry that I didn't. I can't let you jump back into things like there's nothing wrong. I want you to know that I'm not going to leave you, ever again. This isn't something that I'm upset about or anything, Leah. I am _happy _that you imprinted on me. I can't tell you how sorry I am that you had to be hurt," I explained. She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed.

"I trust you, Nate." I shook my head. "Besides, I'll kill you before I'll let it get that far." She wouldn't. I knew about the imprints; she couldn't hurt me. "You want me to be mad at you?" she asked.

"I just don't want you to think that what I did was okay, Leah. I shouldn't have run away from you. I shouldn't have left you like that. What I did was horrendous. I shouldn't have left you, Leah. Not like that. I should have heard you out and I'm sorry that I didn't," I said.

"I heard you say that," she replied from her spot on the brand new bed; a bed that I had bought so that I had somewhere better to take her than the gym. "So I don't understand what you're saying. You want me to not trust you? You want me to be mad at you? Because, believe me, I am. I thought that you had figured it out. And then I'm sitting here and I found out that you had no idea and you _walked away!_ I mean, I don't know what I expected, Nate. I thought that you, I don't know that maybe you felt the same. But see, if you felt the same then you would have fought for me. I mean, imprint or no imprint, whether you _were_ my imprint or I imprinted on someone else, I thought that you would might fight for me. You just laid down at _died_!" she shouted at me.

"I know that Leah."

"So what was your fucking reasoning there, huh? You didn't think that you could handle all of this? What did you do? You put me in the same category as Allie?" she spat at me, her anger rising again.

"No; I didn't Leah. That wasn't it at all. I..." I stopped trying to say this without completely fucking up. "When I talked to Sam the day before you told me about the imprint, or tried to tell me about the imprint, I told him that if I wasn't the guy for you, I wouldn't act like him. Sam's a dick about us. He knows what you don't, Leah. Or what you haven't realized yet."

"What do you think that I haven't realized?"

"That I don't deserve you, Leah. I know that you see yourself as this weird, messed up girl that no one can love. But you're wrong, Leah. You're so great I can't even figure out how to tell you. Sam knows that, he knows that you deserve someone so much better than me and that you don't even realize it. When I went and talked to him that day, I told him that if you were supposed to be with someone else, I would step away. I wouldn't sit here and give the guy shit. I would just let you be happy. I didn't know I was supposed to be that guy, Leah. I can't _believe_ I'm supposed to be that guy," I admitted.

"Why not? You're... God I sound like such a girl, but Nate you're perfect," she whispered. "You understand where I'm coming from on just about everything. You never judge me for being angry or bitter." I snorted and smiled wickedly at her. "What?"

"You just admitted that you were bitter," I laughed. It was kind of like an unspoken game that we had going on. Neither one of us would ever admit that we were bitter or jaded or burned by the people that we had loved.

"I did not!" she was quick to shout. "I was just saying that people _say_ that about me," she amended. I just laughed. "You ruined my moment," she said, pouting on the bed.

"I guess it's just another thing that I'll have to apologize for," I said seriously.

"Stop it, okay. Yes I'm mad at you. Yes I think that you were a dick for not letting me finish. Yes, I will kill you if you ever pull that shit again. But we have to move forward, Nate. We just have to... I don't now, we just have to keep going," she whispered. "I've missed you."

"Okay, so here's the plan," I said, sinking down on the bed beside her. "We're going to build up the trust again, Leah. Because it was there and I broke it and I have to prove it to you again. I have to show you that you _can_ trust me again." I bumped into her arm and watched her relax against me. "Now allow me to apologize for earlier," I added, pushing her down into the bed and hovering over her. "I'm sorry that I ruined your moment," I whispered, my lips a breath from hers. She licked her already moist lips and stretched up like she was going to kiss me.

"You're an asshole, Marine," she whispered. "Tell me you want me to trust you and you want to take it slow and then you do this. Remind me again why I want to be around you?"

"Because I love you, Clearwater." Her mouth dropped as she stared at me, waiting for me to do something that would undo the words I had just said. "It's hard for me to say that okay? I'm shit with words, but I love you, Leah."

She grabbed at the back of my neck and pulled me down to her, kissing me sweetly and warmly. She pulled away suddenly and started panting, her form shaking. "Didn't know that could happen," she said as she struggled to regain control. "It's supposed to be when your angry, you know?" she breathed.

"Or maybe it's whenever you get overwhelmed. Do I overwhelm you Clearwater?" I laughed.

"You have no idea," she breathed. "You have no idea Marine." I laughed and kissed her again. Her hand came up to the dark circles under my eyes. "You look tired," she whispered. "When was the last time you slept?"

"The day that you tried to tell me," I admitted. "If I tried to sleep, I just had nightmares." She continued to trace the blackness with a frown on her beautiful face. "So what do you think about the apartment?"

"I think that I haven't seen it yet," she muttered. "I was a little preoccupied." I laughed and dropped onto my back, settling Leah into my side. "Nate, do you think that maybe I could," she paused, chewing on her lip and then yawning loudly, "maybe I could stay the night?" She looked so nervous, like I was going to say no.

"When was the last time that _you_ slept?" I asked, trying to ignore her yawn and the evident fatigue.

"Same day as you," she yawned. "I can go home if -"

"Go to sleep, Leah. You're not going anywhere," I said, tightening my hold on her. I rolled over and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "I love you, Leah."

She yawned again. "You, too." I smiled, exhaustion sweeping over me. But even being beyond tired, I was happy where I was.


	45. Chapter XLIV

**Author's Note: Hey everyone. I hope you all enjoy tonight's chapter! Much love and thanks.**

* * *

**Chapter XLIV**

My first thought when I woke up was that I didn't deserve her. Leah's tan arm was wrapped around my chest, her fingers tickling my ribcage. It had been this way for the last week and it was damn good every single time. I had almost lost her once; I wasn't going to let it happen again. So every morning, I would rub the sleep out of my eyes and draw random shapes on her skin until she opened her eyes again. She would groan and rub her cheek against my chest, which was shirtless all the time now. With just Leah around to see me, there was no need for me to put a shirt on again.

This morning was no different than the last few mornings. She rolled over onto her stomach, landing more on me than the mattress. "Good morning," she muttered, just like every morning. I would just smile. "Please tell me you set the coffee pot up last night?" she begged.

I leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Don't I always?" I laughed. She asked every morning and the answer was always the same. The only difference was how exhausted I was this morning. I had slept soundly enough, no nightmares, nothing to wake me up. There weren't really any problems. So I didn't understand why I could barely muster enough energy to roll over on my side and look at the girl I loved.

"Are we going to go get coffee?" she asked, her brows furrowed. I just shrugged, letting my eyes drift closed again. "You okay?" I was normally a great morning person, all the years in the Marines having sharpened my ability to wake up. "Nate?"

I hadn't realized that I had yet to answer her. "I'll be up in a minute," I promised her. She looked up at me, her chin resting on my chest as she surveyed me. I watched her bite her lip as her eyes darted around my face. I closed my eyes completely, but I could still see her staring at me in my mind's eyes. "You're staring," I informed her a minute later.

"You're not normally sleeping at eight o'clock," she replied like that made it okay for her to stare at me. "Are you feeling okay?" Her hand pressed against my forehead but it probably made me warmer. Another wolf attribute, I had learned.

"I feel fine, Leah. And you wouldn't be able to tell me if I had a fever," I said. That was a lie; I definitely didn't feel okay. Something was off, but I wasn't going to tell Leah that.

"You're lying," she said. Just the tone of her voice told me that her eyes were narrowed. "Nate, it's part of the imprint. I know when you're not feeling well and when you're lying. Both of those things are happening right now."

"I'm just tired, Leah; I don't know what tell you other than that," I yawned.

"Why don't you go to bed? I'll clean the apartment up and stay here to take care of you," she said. What was there to clean in the house?

I think it was from all the years of being in the Corps, but I was obsessively neat. I woke up every morning and made the bed. I cleaned up after myself every time that I did something. It was kind of annoying, I guess. But it was still a habit. The place was also tiny. It consisted of one bedroom and one bathroom. The bathroom had two doors, one that led to the bedroom and one that led to the living room. My mother was always ridiculous about cleaning where people would be. Your bedroom could look like shit and no one would really care. But the bathroom, the living room, the dining room, the kitchen, those had to be cleaner than anything else. I had a small living room and an even smaller kitchen. But the place wasn't a cot in the gym and that made it seem huge.

Leah rolled off of me, standing up next to the bed. Her fingers threaded through my hair, gathering the sweat that was gathering there. "Go to sleep, Nate," she implored. I rolled over onto my side, facing Leah's shape. "I'll make you some tea," she said.

"I don't drink tea," I mumbled.

"You do when you're sick," she replied. Her hand trailed down my neck and over my shoulder as she stood up to leave. I couldn't tell you what was wrong, just that I felt like shit. I was dozing, which I really hadn't meant to do. I shouldn't be tired. I had slept plenty last night. And with Leah sleeping right there, I wasn't having nightmares anymore. Finally, I gave into the exhaustion that was killing me.

I swore it was only a moment later that Leah was waking me up. "Nate," she whispered, leaning over and pressing her lips to my cheek. "Did you have a nightmare?" I shook my head and pried my eyes open. "Something isn't right, Nate. You're covered in sweat," she was telling me. "Come on, let's drink this." I didn't realize that I was on my back, but I must have moved because Leah's hand had slipped under the back of my head and was lifting me up so that I could drink whatever tea she'd made.

I swallowed hard, the sweet liquid trickling down my throat. No wonder I didn't like tea; I'd never had it made like this. I tried to swallow the groan caused by the pain that was suddenly shattering in my stomach. Leah hushed me, managing to maneuver me so that she was behind me and I was leaned back against her. "You're okay," she said, her hand petting my hair. I could hear the clicks of her phone somewhere over my head. I tried to turn around and look at her, but there was still some kind of pain radiating in my lower stomach. "It's going to be okay, Nate," she assured me. I tried hard not to flinch and groan and shout. This shit hurt. What was going on? "My mom's going to come and look at you, okay?"

"I'm fine, Leah," I said. Her mother was a nurse and I didn't need her looking at me a deciding that I needed to go to the hospital. It was a little pain. I was no pussy.

"You're not, Nate. Remember when I came over here because I knew you would take care of me? Let me take care of you, okay?" I wanted to argue with her and tell her that she didn't need to take care of me, that I was a big boy. But I liked the spot that I was in. I didn't really want to move. "Why don't you try to go back to sleep, Nate? My mom will be right here. Just rest."

I leaned my head against her chest, holding tight to her hand. It could have only been a moment or two when I could hear Leah and her mother talking. "I don't know, Mom. He normally wakes up and is ready to go. But he just seemed off. I keep trying to get more tea into him; he's sweating so much I'm worried that he's going to be dehydrated," Leah was saying. "He's in pain. I can feel it."

"It might be something internal,Leah, but I don't see anything," Sue was saying.

"So I have to take him to the hospital?"

"No hospital," I groaned, trying to shove my way up. It just hurt, so much more than I thought that it would. "I'm good; I don't need to go to the hospital."

"You can't even sit up, Nate," Sue was saying. She slid her icy hand onto my forehead. To be fair, it probably wasn't icy cold. I was so used to Leah's warm body temperature that anything else just felt cold. "And you're burning up," she added.

"I thought so, but I wasn't sure," Leah said.

"So he's got a fever and pain; it might be an infection," Sue said. "Nate, we have to take you to the hospital. You could die if we don't treat this."

"We don't know anything about it. It could just go away. My immune system could fight it," I replied.

"I'll get him to the hospital, Ma. Just let me talk to him," Leah said. I heard Sue leave and then Leah was shifting me. "Do you remember when I told you what happened with Jake and me?" I nodded, although it probably didn't look like much. "I was beating myself up and you asked me if I would do the same. If I would do the same, then I couldn't be upset."

"I remember what I said, Leah."

"Okay, so if this was me lying in that bed, you would have dragged me to the hospital before I could fight you, wouldn't you?" I had to no. Not to would be a lie and I generally didn't lie to Leah. "So let me get you to the hospital. Please," she begged.

The pain was spearing through me again, but I gritted my teeth against it. Leah was right, something was wrong. And if this was her I would have carried her away to the hospital before she could argue. "Fine."


	46. Chapter XLV

**Author's Note: Sorry that I'm late. The hospital wouldn't let me go until they were sure that I wasn't going to die. Stupid people; one fall from a horse and they act like you're going to die any moment. Either way, enjoy!**

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**Chapter XLV:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

I just couldn't catch a break. I had only had back with me a week and already something was going wrong. It had been the same routine as every morning until he had _electively_ stayed in bed. Nate never stayed in bed. Once he was awake, he was up and that was all there was to it. And despite his stubbornness, I had finally convinced him to go to the hospital, which was no easy task where Nathan Crowe was involved. He did an admirable of swallowing his pain, acting like it didn't hurt. But I could feel it. It was this pain that just radiated through my abdomen that I couldn't figure out. It was just there.

Trying to save his ego, I only _helped_ him out to the car. It was stupid that I couldn't just pick him up; I was more than strong enough. But for the sake of peace and keeping him calm, I supported most of his weight with an arm wrapped around his waist. Getting him to take the step up into the Jeep was probably the hardest part of the entire ordeal. Well, for him. It was harder for me to think that he was pain.

It was only a short distance to the hospital, but the ghost pain in my stomach only got worse. I started to wonder if it had been such a good idea to move him. I mean with my luck he'd be right and this was something his body would fight off naturally. But what if it wasn't? What if it was his appendix? What if it was something internal that was killing his organs? No, I was right to take him to the hospital. I'd rather be the overprotective girlfriend than lose him.

I was glad that Mom had gone ahead of me. She'd gotten Nate's name into the system, but it was still lacking the important information. I was ecstatic when I was able to answer all the questions they had to ask about his medical history, his allergies. I knew everything, like a good girlfriend would. The nurses said that they would be quick and let me know what they could find on him in just a few moments. In the meantime, Nate was sitting quietly in his hospital bed, glaring at me whenever he thought that I couldn't see. "This is ridiculous," he griped. "Can we please just leave?"

"No," I said simply.

"There's nothing wrong with me."

"I'm sorry, did you go to med school while you were deployed? Because unless the answer is yes, you can lay your ass back down in that hospital bed and shut up," I commanded, pressing a hand to his chest with enough insistence to force him back into the mattress. I watched his eyes narrow with suppressed moans as he fought for control of his pain. Yelling at him wasn't going to help him heal. I sighed and sat down on the edge of the mattress, staring at his closed eyes and sweat slicked face. "Okay, listen," I finally said, resting a hand on his cheek. "We don't know what's wrong with you. And I'd rather be crazy than have you die, okay? So just shut up and lie down and let someone else take care of shit for a little while," I said softly.

He nodded and rested his cheek against my hand after some moments of quiet debate. I tried to ignore the pain that was written all of his face while I impatiently waited to hear from a nurse. "They're working as fast as they can, Leah," my mom assured me some twenty minutes later. "Nate is their most pressing case," she added. I'm sure that the words were supposed to make me feel better but all they did was cause me to worry. What was so wrong with him that hospital people were scrambling to figure out? Yeah, there was no comfort here.

Nate shot up in bed, his hand searching blindly for something beside him. Mom figured it out before I could, holding the bed pan in front of his face while he threw up. I just sat there like an idiot, petting his back and promising him that everything was going to be okay. No wonder Jake and the guys were so antsy when their imprints were in trouble. This was enough to drive a girl over the edge. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and laid back against the pillows for a few seconds. His beautiful green eyes opened in little slits and stared up at me. "Everything is fine, Leah. I promise," he whispered, patting my thigh with the hand that he hadn't used to clean his own vomit.

"I'm not the one in a hospital bed," I shot back. His lips twitched a little and he gave my leg a light squeeze in the seconds before he was crying out and pushing himself upright to empty more of his stomach, not that there was much left in there. I held his little tray this time, wishing I could take all this pain away from him.

"Miss Clearwater?" a nurse whispered when I had gotten Nate settled back in the bed. I turned towards her, not wanting him to hear about this. There were only two scenarios that could come out of this. Either the nurse told me that Nate was right and I was overreacting, which meant that I would have to deal with his gloating. Or, the far more likely scenario given the vomiting that just happened, the nurse would tell me that this was serious and Nate would try to downplay it. Either way, I didn't want him to be listening. I gave him a glance, making sure that he was still sleeping, and slipped out of the room, making sure that Mom was still sitting in the corner of the room. "We got the results back from the x-rays," she said. "And I really shouldn't be telling you this -"

"Please; I'm the only one that he has out here. I haven't been able to get a hold of his mother. Please, I'm begging you," I said, thinking that I would do just about anything at this moment to find out what was wrong with my imprint.

"Nathan has a piece of shrapnel lingering in his abdomen. From what we can see, it has perforated his spleen," she said.

"So we just take it out? I mean, you can do that can't you?"

"The shrapnel is not our main concern. It's turned septic now," she said, looking down at the ground.

"What does that mean?" She didn't answer me. "What does that mean!" I shouted at her.

She looked around to make sure that I hadn't disturbed anyone else around us. "It means that there is an infection. That's what causing his fever and vomiting. We can remove the shrapnel, but we have no guarantees that it will cause all the problems."

"But it will increase his chances, right? I mean without the thing that is causing the infection, we can treat that, right?" I couldn't lose him. I couldn't go through that again.

"It might be too risky to open him up with the infection. Exposing it to the air...we don't know what that could do to the cells that the infection has latched onto," she said.

"You don't know! I don't come to a hospital to hear that you don't know! I brought him here so that someone would be able to protect him, to help him. And you don't fucking know?" I shouted at her, a few people sitting in the rooms around us turning their heads and staring at us.

"Leah." I didn't want to turn and face Nate. I didn't want him to say the words that would make me feel better, but wouldn't heal him. "Thank you," he grunted to the girl in front of me. "We'll talk and then call you." The little bitch in front of me nodded and walked away.

Nate's hand was hot and clammy against my skin, instantly reminding me of why we were here. "What are you doing out of bed, Nate?" I growled, slapping his hand away and wrapping my arms around his waist to haul him back to bed. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"Leah."

"I don't want to hear it. It's not going to be okay. They don't _know_ what's wrong with you! Didn't you hear her? They have no fucking clue!" I shouted.

He probably used what was left of his strength to pull me to a stop and into his chest, wincing as he did so. "Listen to me, Clearwater. We're going to do the surgery, get the shrapnel out, and then focus on the infection. They know what's wrong with me, Leah; they just aren't sure how to fix it. I don't need _them_ to be sure; I need you to be sure. You're the only one who matters," he whispered. I could feel his knees buckling.

"Let's get you back to bed," I said, leading him away from the hallway. His hand was clutched around his stomach. "Couldn't just be your fucking appendix," I muttered. He laughed, coughing shortly after.

"Go tell the nurse that I want the surgery, okay?" he breathed. I hesitated, not wanting to leave his side. "Your mom will be right here. Just go tell her, okay?" I nodded and turned, finding his pants on the chair. Mom was distracting him by telling him some story that I was sure I would be embarrassed about him hearing later. So I grabbed his phone and left the room; because there was going to be a later for us.


	47. Chapter XLVI

**Author's Note: Thanks for all the reviews! Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XLVI:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

I was careful to be out of the way, where no one could hear me, ignoring the nurses who were staring at me. I dialed the number that was the second most called number in his phone, mine being the first. "_Nate! I was wondering if you were going to call today. How's Leah?"_ God it hurt so much to tell her this. But if the situation was reversed and my mother wasn't there with me, I would expect Nate to call her and tell her what was going on.

"Diane, it's Leah," I whispered.

_"Leah! My boy treating you right? You just say the word and I'll be down there to come and kick his butt and get everything straightened out,"_ she laughed. I tried to laugh along with her, but I just couldn't do it.

"Diane, Nate's sick," I managed to get out.

_"He's what?"_

I took a deep breath to gather my thoughts and calm myself down. "He has a piece of shrapnel in his stomach from his time overseas. It hit his spleen and turned septic. They're...they're saying that they have to do surgery before they can do anything else,"I explained. "My mom's with him right now. But he's, uh, he's in bad shape. I thought that you might want to come out here. He's got a place now that you could stay if you wanted."

_"Is it serious, Leah?"_

"I think so; I don't really know much about it right now. Only that the nurses were saying that they need to take care of it soon. I can keep you posted," I whispered. I felt like the life was being sucked out of me. I was going to lose my best friend and boyfriend if I wasn't careful here. I needed him to pull through this, needed him to be okay. I heard a zipper on the other end of the line.

_"I'm on my way to the airport. I'll be there as soon as I can. Keep me in the loop on what's going on, okay?"_

"Of course, Diane. I'll call you the second that I know more," I promised her.

_"It'll be good to see you again,_" she replied.

"Just wish it was under a different set of circumstances," I replied. "I've got to get going, see how much time we have and if I can postpone his surgery until you get here. I'll see you soon Diane." We said our goodbyes before I tucked the phone in my back pocket and marched towards the nurse's station. "We want the surgery," I said. The girl behind the desk nodded and rose to go talk to someone that would be able to help us, but I interrupted her. "How long can we put it off? I mean, how serious is it?"

"No more than a day," the elderly woman said. "You could push thirty-six hours if you really needed, but I wouldn't recommend anything more than twenty-four. Is there something on your mind?"

"His mother is flying in, that's all. She should be here tonight," I explained. "Could we... When could we do this?"

"Tomorrow morning would be best if you're trying to wait for his mother. I could look at the schedule and let you know," she suggested. I just nodded. There was a beeping between us and then she was gone, running towards Nate's room. "His temperature is too high. We have to get it to drop. Grab the ice."

There were already bags of ice around Nate's sweaty skin as they tried to force his body temperature to fall. I couldn't lose him, I couldn't have him taken from me. I wasn't ready for it 's arm wrapped around my waist pulled me from Nate's side. "You're too warm, Leah. You'll only make it worse," Seth whispered. I felt like I was going to break. I couldn't lose him. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to him. I never would be. I was fighting with him, pulling against him to try to get back to my imprint. "You're only hurt him, Leah. I know you don't want to hurt him."  
He was right, of course. I didn't want to hurt him; I wanted to protect him. That's the whole fucking reason that we were here. I wanted to protect him. The nurses fussed around him for a while before determining that he was cool enough to be left alone. Mom was sitting by his bed, close enough that she could help him. Seth had gone out for patrol. And me? I was sitting in a chair as far away from Nate as physically possible, trying to keep him from feeling any of my one hundred and eight degree warmth.

It was the worst feeling in the world. I wasn't able to sit by his side, to hold his hand, to tell him that everything would be all right. No, I had to try to assure him from ten feet away, where I was sure that he would be safe. "You don't have to sit all the way over there, you know," he coughed sometime around two in the morning.

"You didn't see yourself almost die because you were too hot," I countered.

"Please come over here, Leah," he begged. "Please."

"I don't want you to overheat, Marine," I whispered but even as I said the words, I was inching closer to his bedside.

"We both know that you being closer will make things better, Leah; for the both of us," he retorted. He was right. As an imprint he would feel safer with me right there by his side and as a wolf I would feel better knowing that I was there to save him if it became necessary. So I slipped into a chair that was only a few inches from his seat and rested my elbows on the mattress. "Thank you for listening and not being so stubborn," he coughed again. I was ready to grab a bedpan, but he waved my hand away.

"So, I did something without your permission. And I know how much you love when I do that," I joked. He smiled and regarded me with tired eyes. "I called your mom," I admitted.

"You did what?" So much for being tired. "Why would you do that Leah? She's only going to worry unnecessarily!"

I looked over to see my mother slipping out of the door of the room and leaving us alone. She was always one of those who understood when the rest of us were still confused. "You're going to _die_ if they don't do something. Do you get that? Do you understand that people have died from things that are way less severe than this?"

"Leah, nothing is going to happen," he said.

"You don't know that!" I shouted, jumping to my feet. "And I'm fucking tired of sitting here and listening to you comfort me. You're wrong, Nate. You're going to die if you don't have surgery, Nate. If I was lying in a hospital bed in Montana because I was going to die, you would call my mother without hesitation," I spat, gripping the railing on the foot of his bed. "Your mom isn't worried like you would think; she's on here way here. Because she cares, Nate. You're in this fucking hospital because I care. We all care about you. I get that you're the one used to taking care of everybody but for once, you need to back the fuck off."

"Leah, I know that all of this is scary, but nothing is going to happen," he repeated.

I sank down on his bed, just beside his knee. "I love you, Nathan Crowe. And I have so many other things that are girly and stupid and just fucking disgustingly sweet that I could tell you, but that's what it all boils down to. I'm not ready to lose you, Nate. So you aren't allowed to give up," I said, feeling the stupid tear dribble down my cheek.

"Come here," he commanded. He pulled my arm until I was curled up next to him. "I've been through some shit that has all brought me here to you, Leah. If I wanted to leave, don't you think I would've done it before vampires attacked and alpha wolves decided that they hated me?" he joked. Well at least his sense of humor was still intact. The hand that had his IV in it was stroking my arm as he pulled me closer.

"Well, at least I know that you're in good hands," Diane Crowe said as she pushed open the door. Nate smiled weakly as his mom but kept his arms wrapped around me. I absently fingered the dog tags that were hanging around my next. They never left my skin, even it I was in wolf form. I made sure to keep them on me at all times. "How are you, sweetheart?"

"I'm fine, Mom; everyone is overreacting," he promised her.

Diane's eyes narrowed. "I was talk to Leah. Jesus, Nate, the whole world doesn't revolve around you," she teased back. We sat together and chatted, my mother eventually rejoined us, adding her own childhood stories to distract us. Nate was in pain the entire time, but he didn't say anything.

A nurse shuffled in a little while later, announcing that it was time for Nate to get prepped for surgery. Mom kissed his forehead, Diane kissed his cheek. Each of them whispered something about him coming back to us in one piece. "I love you," I whispered. Nate smiled and kissed my lips. "I'll be right here when you're finished, okay?"

"You better be, Clearwater."


	48. Chapter XLVII

**Author's Note: Okay, this chapter jumps forward and then the next will jump back. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XLVII**

"Nate, you promised that you wouldn't leave!" I could hear her shouting at me, but it was like my ears had been stuffed with cotton. I struggled against the fatigue, trying to keep myself afloat. "Nate, please!" What the hell was she begging me for? "You have to help him!" I was still fighting, trying to get back to her. I didn't want to leave her. I had so many things to tell her, so many things to do with her. I mean, I wasn't perfect but I was in love with her. I was finally ready to settle down as long as I had her with me. In the background, I could hear sniffling and crying. Who was crying? Not Leah; not again. I couldn't handle it if she was crying again. After I had caused her tears before, I had promised that she would never cry because of me again.

But even as I was struggling to get back to her, I could feel darkness crowding in. I wanted to be there with her; I wanted to stay with her, with my mom, with Seth, with Sue. I wanted to be with them. My entire body was seeping with fatigue. "Sh, Nathan; it's okay," Leah was assuring me. Hadn't she just asked me to stay with her? To fight for her? What the hell was I supposed to do? Fight or fall? "You're okay, Nate." I felt her hands in my hair, my body slumping until I was surrounded by darkness.

The night swirled around me and lightened, bringing me to the sand and desert. "Nate." I turned to find James standing in front of me. I tackled him to the ground without another though. "Nate, I didn't want to hurt you. It was the only thing that I could do to keep myself safe."

"I didn't need to keep myself safe. They asked me if I would do it and I said no. I told them that I was a Marine, that I couldn't hurt my brothers," I snarled at him, smacking his head into the sand. "How could you do that to me, James? You were my brother man, my best friend."

"Nate, come home to me," James was saying. What? What the hell was he talking about? I wasn't going anywhere with him. He'd tried to kill me. He had done anything and everything he could in order to keep himself safe. He didn't care about me or any of the men that he'd killed. So; we weren't important to him.

"Fuck off, James."

"Nate, please! You can't leave me here!" His face shrank and contorted until it was Leah standing there with me. This was a dream, only a dream. "Please, Nate; you promised that you wouldn't leave me. You have to fight," she was begging. She took a step forward so that she was only a breath away. Her hands were shaking as she stroked the hair away from my face. "Fight for me, Nate. Please don't leave me here." She was shoved down in the sand, James behind her. He cracked the whip over his head, the sound reverberating even though there was no where for the sound waves to hit. "Nate!" she screamed. I was fighting, but something was holding me down. "Nate, please!" I couldn't help her. "Please, I love you!" I tried to get to her, but the sun was high in the sky, blinding me.

The beeping was rhythmic in my ears as the sand blurred and the sound intensified. I could feel warmth against my chest, but it was wet. I blinked, trying to open my eyes but they were crusted with sand. I blinked again, wanting the lights to fade. I inhaled, trying to get air to tell her that I was right here, that I wasn't leaving. But the air hit my lungs and only made me start coughing. "Nate!" she shouted, launching herself onto my body. I groaned, my abdomen feeling like it did after I'd been stabbed. "Sorry, sorry," she whispered.

I opened my eyes all the way to see the tear stained face of Leah Clearwater. Her eyes were red and puffy, tears still streaming down her face. "Leah," I whispered but the words sounded like I had spoken with marbles in my mouth. I fought the drug induced weight on my arms and managed to get my arm around her waist. I hushed her while she sobbed against me, trying to keep her calm.

Her hands fisted in my hospital gown. Gown? The surgery. That's why I was here. The shrapnel had gotten to my spleen and infected me. That was what the dreams were. "I should go get your mom," she breathed after a few minutes. She tried to push away, but I tightened my arm. At least, I thought that I had but Leah was still able to get away. I never really had any power over her, but most of the time she stayed if she felt it.

"Stay," I managed to say. "Stay with me."

"You scared the shit out of me," she accused. I chuckled, but it didn't come out nearly as happy as I would have liked. "You're not allowed to do that to me again, okay?"

"I'll keep that in mind," I replied, my eyes drifting closed. I wasn't sure if she would actually understand what I was saying. I barely understood myself.

"You can rest now; as long as you promise me that you'll wake up," she replied. I was nodding, but I wasn't sure if the movement actually came out. I felt a warm circle of heat against my forehead, hotter than anything else around me. "Go to sleep, Nate."

"Stay," I begged.

"Of course," she promised.

"Stay, Leah." She hushed me and pulled my hand closer to her. My body felt heavy again, the drugs weighing me down as I drifted away again. "Stay."

"He'll wake up soon," I heard someone whispering. "It's been a few hours. His body had a great deal of trauma, Leah. He's got to recover."

"He's a fighter, Leah; you know that he's not going to give up." Ma? What was she doing here?

"He's awake." I sighed. Leah. She was still here, just like she'd promise she'd be.

"No, sweetie, he's not," Ma was saying.

"No, Diane, he's awake. Nate, come on, open your eyes," Leah was begging me. My mom didn't know that she was a wolf, that she would be able to pick up all the little things that weren't perceptible to the human ear and eye. "Please, Nate."

I couldn't listen to her beg me again. It was just like the dream where James had been hurting her. So I fought the heaviness of my lids and pried my eyes open. Her rough thumb stroked over the back of my hand. "Hey," I breathed. Mom was smiling at me, Sue looked a little watery. And Leah was staring at me like I was the most important thing in the world. "How you guys doing?"

"I don't think that you're in any position to ask about that," Leah whispered. She leaned over and brushed my hair away from my face. It was getting too long. I would need to get a hair cut soon. But maybe I would keep it long if it meant that she would find reasons to brush the hair away from my face. "How are _you_ feeling?"

"Sore," I said, ignoring the pain in my stomach.

"Okay, as great as all of this is," Sue said, slapping her hands down on the railing by my bed. "We should go get the doctors. We need to make sure that you're okay before they bring in any heavier medication for your infection."

My lids were drooping again, but I clung tight to Leah's hand to keep myself awake. "We should go get the nurses, Sue," Ma said, shoving Sue towards the door. I tried to smile but I couldn't get enough energy to do it. They waved at me before the door clicked open.

"You should know that we owe your mom like a thousand dollars?"

I was too tired to even address the fact that she'd said we. "Why is that?" I asked. She smiled.

"Because she bought the last first class ticket to get out here. Straight shot; took her like four hours and then the drive from Seattle. She was here at like three in the morning," she said simply. "She was worried."

"She didn't have to be," I grumbled. Leah could have just kept it all a secret and no one would have known about this.

"Yeah right! You eded up with a splenic bleed. You almost died, Nate. Remember when I said that you should have listened to me? You had me worried sick," she reprimanded. "I thought I was going to lose you, Nate," she whispered.

"Didn't I tell you that I wouldn't leave you? I mean, dear God it's not like you didn't remind me enough," I teased. She blushed red and collapsed into my chest.

"You heard that?" she groaned.

I coughed out a laugh. "Of course I heard you, Leah; you were screaming." She made a move to pull away but I pulled her into my chest again. "It's okay, Leah," I said when I felt her start shaking and her hot tears hitting my chest. "I'm okay."


	49. Chapter XLVIII

**Author's Note: Oh the joys of roman numerals... they make everything look so long. Like I said yesterday, we're jumping back a little today. Hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter XLVIII:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

"He's going to be fine, Leah," Seth was saying from his spot next to me. Mom had taken Diane, who Seth had officially dubbed the magician after her magical appearance in La Push, down to the cafeteria for some jello pudding. Because when you were in the hospital, _that_ was a thing. A disgusting thing that went against nature, but still something that they offered here.

"We can all keep saying that, but I won't believe it until I see it," I countered, tossing my head back against the couch. Four hours; he was in surgery for four hours. They had told us that it would only be two, maybe three. And then someone still in her operation scrubs came out and told us that there were some complications and Nate would be out soon. Complications... That was never the thing that you want to hear while the man you loved was in surgery.

"He's fine, Leah. Nate's a fighter. I mean, he's a Marine," Seth said. My lips twitched a little at the title. I had started calling him Marine just because I didn't want to say his name. But now it was something that I loved, a reminder of all the things that he'd gone through and all the shit that he fought everyday.

"He's in recovery," Diane said from the doorway. I had chosen to stay in his room instead of in the waiting area. I wanted to be somewhere where it smelled like him and not like rubbing alcohol. I jumped out of my chair and practically sprinted to the hallway where the doctor was standing with my mother. "How is he?"

"There was more shrapnel than we had thought, meaning it was deeper in his spleen than we had originally feared," the doctor was saying, smoothing her scrubs. "But we got all of it out and after patching him up, he was good to go," she ended happily.

"Can we see him?" I asked, the wolf in me pacing restlessly. He'd been in pain when he'd left me and I could feel it intensifying throughout the night.

"I would recommend just one of you," she said looking between me, my mother, and Diane. "Too many at once might overwhelm him."

I nodded in understanding and stepped back, pressing his mother forward. "You should go," I whispered. He should see his mother when he first wakes up. Diane laughed, although the sound was shaky.

"I don't think it's me he wants to see, sweetheart." I cocked my head, a little confused by what she said. "Go, Leah; I've had him for the last twenty-three years. Besides, he'll have plenty of years to figure out how to balance mother and girlfriend." She smiled at me, her eyes filled with tears. I couldn't tell whether they were happy or sad but I just nodded and stepped around the older women and into his room. "And I should go call Jeanie and Frank; it seems a little wrong that we haven't told them about this. I was just so caught up in what was going on, I didn't even think about it," I heard behind me.

Nate looked like shit, lower than that if there was such a thing. His face was clammy and voice of most of his color. He had a few different wires that were attached to needles and poking into his skin. And as if that wasn't bad enough, he was lying completely still. Nate was never still. There was so much pent up agitation inside of him, so much anger, so much hurt. So he would run, he would work out, he would fight. He would keep moving until he hit his mattress. But now all I had was the steady rise and fall of his chest and the ever-beeping of the heart monitor.

"I told you I'd be here," I mocked, hoping that he would hear me. "Your mom's out waiting for you. I mean, my mom too," I chuckled. "All of us are waiting for you to get up again." He moaned a little in his drugged sleep. I was quick to hush him and take a seat beside him. The color drained a little more from his face as his breathing and heart rate picked up. "It's okay, Nate. You're okay."

It was like he didn't believe me. His eyes flew wide, green staring up at me but not seeing me. And then they rolled back in his head and the heart monitor began beeping fast and faster. "Nate!" I shouted at him, trying to get him to wake up again. "Help!" He flatlined, the beeping becoming one loud, long sound. "Nate, you promised that you wouldn't leave me!" I screamed at his face. A nurse tried to pull me away, but I wouldn't move. I kissed his cheek and looked up, hoping that his heart would start again. But there was nothing. "Nate, please!" I begged him.

"Something's wrong," the nurse said, trying again to get me out of her way. I listened to her this time, not wanting to be in anyone's way. Not if they could save him. At the same time, I wanted to yell at the stupid bitch who had figured out that a flat line wasn't a good sign.

"You have to help him!" I screamed when she had yet to do anything that I saw as productive. She shot something into his IV that send his heart rocketing. All I cared about was that it was going again. But he was thrashing, fighting with everything that he had. He smacked one nurse straight across the face, her eyes going wide as she sucked in a shocked breath. I hushed him again. "Nate, it's okay," I promised, trying to get him to calm down. It worked like a charm. He went still again. It was nice to know that even when the world was crashing down around him, he trusted me. "You're okay, Nate," I promised him.

His heart stopped again, but this time the lady was ready. She had called in for someone else who was standing ready with the paddles. I had always thought that it was much simpler than what actually happened. There was gel and pads and prep work all involved just to get his heart going again. His back arched inhumanly but his heart started going again. "We've got to take him to surgery again," the lady told me.

The next surgery lasted a few hours, only long enough to get him safe again. They didn't let any of us see him this time, afraid of what the stress would do. So I stood outside the windowed walls, just staring at him. His chest rose and fell, his eyes twitching, his fingers trying to move again. "Nate, please," I whispered, sure that he wouldn't hear me. "You can't leave me here!" "Please, Nate; you promised that you wouldn't leave me. You have to fight."

"When he wakes up, you can go in there," a woman said from behind me. "But you have to wait until then." I nodded. He was going to wake up. He was going to come back. Two surgeries ago, he had made me promise to be here when he woke up. So here I was; now he had to wake up.

"Fight for me, Nate," I whispered when I was sure that I was alone. "Please don't leave me here." His eyes twitched, green peeking out from beneath his lids. "Nate, please. Please, I love you."

His eyes flashed open wide as he attempted to shove himself up. He blinked again and again. "Nate!" I screamed. I launched myself from the wall that I was standing by. He was coughing while I was air born. I landed on him with a light thud. He flinched and groaned. "Sorry, sorry," I muttered. But I couldn't bring myself to get off of him. His eyes opened wide, his head tilting to look up at me.

"Leah." I was pretty sure that my heart stopped beating at the gargled sound of my name from his lips. But it wasn't until later that I would get my reunion with him. He was fading fast, his energy drained from all the time that he'd spent fighting. And yet, all he'd had to say later that night was sore.

My mom and Diane left, putting me and Nate in our own little world. "You should know that we owe your mom like a thousand dollars," I said to break the ice.

"Why is that?" he replied.

I explained how his mother had come to be out here and how I felt like we should pay her back. We should have been able to fly her out, but I didn't have the time. "She was worried.

"She didn't have to be," he replied, although he was clearly unhappy with me.

"Yeah right!" I shouted at him. "You ended up with a splenic bleed." He'd scared the ever living daylights out of me. "You almost died, Nate." I don't even think he realized how close he had come to being gone. If he wasn't someone that was in such perfect health, ignoring his infection, they weren't sure if they would have caught it. "Remember when I said that you should have listened to me? You had me worried sick," I finally admitted. "I thought I was going to lose you."

And those word brought on my tears. I couldn't bring myself to stop crying as I laid on him and allowed him to hold me. "I'm okay, Leah," he kept repeating.

"Well that's good to know," Diane said from the door. "Because you had us scared there for a minute."

"I'll, uh, I'll give you guys some room," I said, put Nate's hand tightened just a little around me.

"Stay." If he only knew how much that word meant to me.


	50. Chapter XLIX

**Author's Note: I'm sorry that I'm so late. We're going to get ourselves on schedule with proofing tonight so that this can stop happening. Sorry if I'm disappointing anyone! Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter XLIX**

"I'll, uh, I'll give you guys some room," she whispered, making a move to pull away from me. She had just been crying. I could still hear it in her voice, the thickness, the tears. I tried to tighten my hand around her to make sure that she was going to stay with me.

"Stay," I whispered. She sighed and sank back into my arms, resting her head on my shoulder. "I'm really sorry that I scared you so much, Ma," I added when I had Leah settled in my arms. My mother's arms shined with water as she stared between me and Leah. "I hope we didn't derail any plans."

"There are no plans important enough to keep me away from you when you need me, Nathan. I'm your mother," she laughed. "I wasn't really invited anyways," she whispered. I looked over at Leah to see if she knew what was going on. Leah discreetly shook her head. My mother's eyes were wet with unshed tears and a sadness that I hadn't seen since my father died.

"Weren't invited to what, Ma?" I asked, almost afraid of what I was going to hear in response.

"I wasn't invited to your brother's wedding," she admitted. The quiet words stabbed me like they were the scalpel that had removed the metal in my skin only a few hours ago.

"Scott didn't invite you to his and Allie's wedding?" I asked, floored. She shook her head sadly. I wanted to find my brother, even though I couldn't really move, and pummel him. I'm sure that Leah would help me with it. "Why?" I asked tightly. Leah petted my arm soothingly.

"After we got back to Montana, I confronted your brother. I was a little worried about what else he could be lying about. I mean, he should have told me about him and Allison. I had a right to know what was going on and it was his _duty_ as a man to tell me about his marriage," she began contemptuously. A stray tear dropped down her cheeks. "I was upset that you didn't tell me either, but it wasn't your responsibility, Nathan. Your brother should have told me that he was dating your girlfriend, your ex-girlfriend, I guess. I wish that you had found this one a long time ago," she said, jerking her hand towards Leah.

"I think that everyone ended up with who they should be with," she whispered then. "But after I told Scott that I was disappointed in him from his actions and decisions, he felt like... He said that I was choosing you over him. That wasn't what I was trying to do. I just wanted your brother to be the man that your father wanted him to be. But he told me that you were always the favorite and that he wouldn't stand for it anymore. He moved out and into the apartment that Allie had. And then I was disinvited from their wedding." Another tear. I wished that I could get out of this damn bed and pick her up, promise her that it would be okay.

Just like she read my mind, Leah jumped up off the bed and wrapped her arm around my mother, keeping her other hand in mine. My mother sobbed with abandon then, upset about everything that had happened. "Diane, you bought a one way ticket, right?" My mother nodded, pressing the tissue that Leah had given her against her face. "Why don't you stay here, with me? My mother would be glad to have you again." I saw Sue nod from outside our little bubble. I hadn't even noticed her slipping inside the room. "You can stay here with us until the wedding has blown over."

"When is the wedding, Mom?" I asked.

"Saturday," she choked out.

"Dad would be so disappointed in him," I whispered, wishing that it was just me and Leah. As if she knew what I was thinking, she turned and glared at me lovingly, shaking her head quietly. She was right, of course; we could talk about this later. I needed to comfort my mother, not gripe about my brother. "Stay here with us, Mom. There's nothing in Montana for you." She was shaking her head, not wanting to be a burden. "Just think about it. I have a place now, Jeanie and Frank will be willing to have you. And I know that Sue and Leah would take you any day of the week. Just think about it."

She nodded and sat up from Leah's arm, wiping a hand over her face. "Look at me crying over here," she laughed. "We're sitting here in recovery and talking about _me._" I laughed with her then and let her lean over to kiss my cheek. I tried to keep her trapped there, but she was stronger than me right now. "I do need to talk to you alone, Nathan," she whispered in my ear. I wanted to tell her that Leah heard her, but I didn't want to make her feel like she couldn't tell me anything in secret.

"Ma, why don't we go check on Seth? Last time that he saw me, I was a little bit of a mess," Leah laughed. Sue jumped up and kissed my cheek before she left the hospital room with Leah.

"Your girl's got some intuition," Ma laughed. I chucked along with her.

"What's on your mind, Ma?" I said between laughs.

"I have something for you, for whenever you need it," she whispered now. Oh yeah, now that Leah wasn't here she was whispering. She settled her purse on the bed and started digging through it. "Your father and I had always talked about what to do with this, when the time got there," she began explaining, still rummaging through the bottomless bag. "We had decided that the best thing to do was the give them to the boy that got married first. So it should have been Scott, but I'm not allowed to go to his wedding and you're right: your father would be disappointed."

She had finally found her prize. She wrapped her hands around her something small and boxy that I didn't recognize. "After he died, I thought that the best way to do it would be to give one to you and one to Scott, but I guess that doesn't work either." She looked so sad, but I could see the determination in her eyes, the faith that she had in what she was saying. "So I think that you and Leah should have these. When you're ready, of course," she amended.

She handed me the small box in her hands. It was shiny and silver with the name Crowe engraved on the top. With the pulse monitor on my hand, it was hard for me to open the little thing, but I managed to get it open. Staring down at me were the rings that symbolized everything that I wanted for my life some day. There were two small strands of diamonds that seemed to braid around each other to the center stone, which was noticeable, but not disgustingly large. The diamond band sat right behind Mom's ring. Lying next to it was Dad's band. These were the people that I wanted Leah and I to become one day. Obviously we would never be as perfect as our parents. But I wanted the love and marriage that the women had.

"I don't want you to feel like it has to happen tonight or tomorrow or anything," Ma said while I stared down at the rings, clearing my throat to keep myself from getting overwhelmed with any emotions that I shouldn't be showing. "But I know that Leah is it for you, Nate. I see it in your eyes. You're don't want anyone else. I know that as your mother I should be telling to keep looking, to remember that you shouldn't be settling on anyone or anything. But I like her and I know that you love her. She's helped you through a lot more than I realize. I know that. Leah Clearwater has brought back the son that I had before his father died. And I don't know how to thank that girl for what she did," she whispered.

I didn't know how to tell her how much Leah had done for me, really. It seemed wrong to tell my mother just how fucked up I had been. "It'll happen one day, Ma. I just need life for me and Leah to slow down first. She's got a lot going on with, uh, with work and stuff. And I need to be able to say the words correctly," I said.

"You never were one for words," Ma laughed at me. "Don't go scaring us again, Nathan. I may have to ground you." I promised her to stay right here with her for a good long while. "I'll send your girl back in. I don't know how she knew that I needed to talk to you, but I do that girl hasn't left your side in forever, not since you got back from surgery."

"Love you, Ma," I laughed. "And think about staying."

"I will, I will."


	51. Chapter L

**Author's Note: I'm not going to keep apologizing for my inability to update like I would like to. I'm just going to work a little harder to get everything together again. Also, there is drama to come so I hope you don't mind a little fluff while we have it. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter L**

I was stuck in the hospital for the next four days while they made sure the medication that they had given me was going to end the infection. It wasn't until I got home that began to want to go _back_ to the hospital. My mother had decided to stay in La Push because she felt like there was more she could do. She wasn't needed in Scott's life anymore; he'd made it perfectly clear to her.

I had given Leah the second key to the apartment because she came and went all the time. The problem was that since I had come home from the hospital, I wasn't allowed to come and go. My MMA match plans were derailed due to recovery. There was a part of me that said that I could be just fine in a few short days and start training again. But Leah had started bringing my mom around whenever she had to go out for patrol. She claimed it was because my mother missed me and really needed me around right now. But I knew that Leah was smart enough to know that I would go to the gym if no one was here watching me.

So she used my mother as her excuse to have someone watching me while she was working. Leah had really taken to this place, my place. It was like it was her home, which brought me endless joy. I loved that she felt so welcome here. The unfortunate thing was that I had to hide the rings that my mother had given me because if they were anywhere easy to find, Leah was certain to get them. And while I was sure that she was the one that I wanted to spend my life with, I wouldn't want to propose to her as an invalid.

Sue came to get my mother early, which was strange. They wanted to go into Port Angeles and go shopping. I was glad to see the two mothers getting along so well, especially since it seemed like my mom would be living with Sue pretty soon. I'm sure they swapped stories constantly, telling each other all of mine and Leah's secrets. But I didn't care what they said to each other so long as they left. I waved to them from the doorway of my first floor apartment while they drove away. I waited a half hour, sure that Leah would be walking in any moment and my plan would be finished.

But she didn't.

As quickly as a man who'd had his stomach cut open could, I hobbled up the stairs and into the bedroom. I pulled on a clean pair of workout shorts, taking it slow in order to do it on my own. Who knew bending was so freaking difficult? But then again, so was lifting my arms far enough over my head to be able to pull my shirt on. When all of those things were done, though, I walked out the front door. I had only a few more minutes before Leah realized that I was left alone and that I was going to work out for the first time in ages. I had to act quick. "Where you going, Marine?" Shit.

"Hey," I greeted. "Just thought I'd run some errands," I said nonchalantly.

"Oh, good; I'll just tag along then," she replied. She walked straight to me and pulled the keys from my hand. Regardless of what my health was like, Leah was stronger than me. It was the reality of what came with being a wolf. Little bitch; literally. "Where are we heading?" She cocked her head to the side, silently daring me to tell her that I was planning on heading to the gym.

"Never mind; they can wait," I said.

"No, no," she said innocently. "Please; let's go run your fucking errands. Because I know that you're dumb enough to thing that you get to go to the gym when you _just_ had surgery like five days ago. And you're sure as hell not stupid enough to think that your infection is gone. You've got thirty days on medication and multiple doctor's appointments to go to until we're sure."

"I just want to work out, Leah. You don't have treat me like a child," I grumbled. I hated when she did this. She acted like I was going to die any moment. The whole point of the surgery and the shit storm that it came with was to make sure that I _wasn't_ going to die. "I'm a grown ass man."

"Then get your grown ass in that house." She pointed at the door, sounding more like a mother than a girlfriend. I stomped into the house, pissed off at the way that she was acting. "I wouldn't have to treat you like a child if you weren't behaving like one," she said as she slammed the front door shut. "You can't work out yet, Nate. The doctors said it would be a month before you were even allowed to go running again. You've got a good long while before it will be okay for you to go get the shit beat out of you."

"Thanks for the confidence, _Mom_," I spat back. "Your support means so much to me."

"It has nothing to do with me supporting you, Nate. It has everything to do with your health. I'm not going to lose you because your stupid male ego doesn't want to admit that you physically _cannot_ fight," she shouted back at. "I'm not arguing about this with you. You do know that I have an entire Pack of brothers that I can have watching your every move, right?"

"There's not a reason for that, Leah," I said exasperated. She didn't need to be threatening me about this.

"You're right because you're not going to try this shit again. Are we clear?"

"Dear fucking God, Clearwater, you're not my parent!"

"No; I'm not. Because you would listen to your mother and you wouldn't argue with her about this. I may not be your mother, but I am a woman who loves you just as much in a completely different way," she finished in a whisper, sinking down on the couch. "Okay, let's put your logic to the test here, shall we?"

This was the problem with being a nice person. After the battle with the newborns, Leah'd had guilt just like all of us get when someone we love gets hurt to save us. Our CO in the Corps gave us one question to ask ourselves: what would you have done? If we would have jumped in the line of fire or behaved the same way that the injured man did, we weren't allowed to get pissed off or give him shit. How could we be upset with someone who did just what we would have done? I gave the same advice to Leah. And now, she used it against me at every turn. "If this was me, if I was the one who had almost died because of a bleed that no one had found, would you let me even consider going to work out?" she asked.

"It's different; you'd be healed," I pointed out.

"Supernatural shit aside, would you let me go?"

"It's still different?"

"Are you going to pull the sexist _you're a girl_ shit? Because it's only going to piss me off," she warned me.

"Leah -"

"So there's my answer." I sighed. She was right, of course. I wouldn't let her move a muscle if the situation was reversed. But she had to understand that I couldn't take all this nothingness. There was _nothing_ for me to do in the house. I kept it in good shape, so there was nothing to fix. And it wouldn't matter if there was shit to fix because I was too fucking tired to do it by the time I could get to it. I was in the middle of a dilemma. My body knew that I couldn't do all the shit that I wanted to do, but my mind had yet to accept it. Just like what happened after I was rescued. "No one is asking you to lay down and die, Nate," she whispered. "I know that you want to go out and do stuff. But you can't. And if you wouldn't let me go out and do it, then you can't."

I sighed and sank down on the couch next to her, fighting the groan as I did. "What would you like me to do, Leah? I've read all the legends in that book twice. I've cleaned the house three times. I've done everything that I can think. I'm just bored, Leah. I can't do this much longer," I admitted.

"But you're going to," she informed. "Because I have other shit to focus on. I spend enough time worrying about you; I don't need an actual reason to be distracted by you."

It was the first time since the surgery that she'd made a comment about what was going on outside of my own self-pity world. "What's wrong, Clearwater?" I had a bad habit of calling people by their last names, something that I inherited from the Corps. But her last name wasn't just a habit anymore; it was what I called her when I wanted to know what was going on. Like when other guys called their girls babe or sweetie or honey. She was Clearwater.

"I have to go to a vampire wedding," she whispered, pulling a disgusted face.

"Why?"

"It's a long story," she whispered.

"I'm not going anywhere," I replied curling protectively to the side of my body that was getting sore. It had felt like so long since we had talked about something other than our families and my surgery. And I, being the pussy-whipped prick that I was, had honestly missed hearing about her day.

"It's like this," she began. And I just smiled and listened.


	52. Chapter LI

**Author's Note: I know I didn't post a chapter yesterday. I'm really sorry about that. I'm working on getting more consistent with my updates again. I used to be really good but finishing school, starting summer school, and working again is really messing up my schedule. I'm really sorry that I didn't update yesterday. I didn't have my computer with me so it made it kind of hard. But I'll get back on track this week. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter LI**

"So Bella, who is Ryanne's sister, is knowingly getting married to a vampire?" I asked Leah when we were sitting in bed later that night. I pulled the thin blanket up from the foot of the bed and tucked Leah into my side. "And while she's getting married, she's in love with Jake?" Leah yawned and nodded. We had spent the last five hours talking and catching up for the first time in almost a week. "So what reason is there for you to go to this wedding?"

"Bella invited Ryanne to the wedding and to be a bridesmaid because she wanted to make sure that Jake went to the wedding to," Leah explained. She rubbed her cheek against my bare chest in the way that I had come to love. "Ryanne needs to go to this wedding, Nate."

"Why should she? From what you've told me, Bella hasn't done anything but try to hurt her," I asked. If it was me, I wouldn't go. I didn't even go watch my own brother get married.

"It's different from what you and I feel, Nate. Our family hurt us by picking the people that we thought we loved. Bella tried to do anything she could to take Jake from Ryanne. But Rye hasn't let her and I think that it's important that she goes down there and shows the bitch that she doesn't get to win. And if Jake goes, Bella Swan gets exactly what she wants," she explained.

"But you can't let Ryanne go by herself," I caught on. "So you are going as protection for Rye?"

"Jake will hang out with you every time I'm out of town," she replied. Because _that_is what I was worried about; myself.

"I meant who is going to protect you," I replied, trying to keep my exasperation from getting the best of me. I wasn't frustrated with her. I wasn't frustrated with her.

"I don't need protection, Nathan," she replied indignantly.

"Those things can kill you, right?" She rolled her eyes at what she deemed me being ridiculous but nodded honestly. "So who is going to protect you from them, Leah?" I asked again. I wanted to know who I needed to threaten to keep my girl safe. Was it really that difficult to understand?

"Okay, worry wart," she said. "Listen, they won't try anything. Bella already has a wedding dress so we're just trying to find some stupid bridesmaid dresses. Ryanne is trying to make her parents happy by doing the whole sister maid of honor thing. They won't try anything in front of everyone else that's there. We're going to be in a bridal salon," she explained. "It'll only be for a couple hours tomorrow," she added with a yawn. "Can we please go to sleep?"

"Whiny," I muttered, holding her tight against my side. "Love you, Clearwater."

"I love you too, Marine." I made a point to say it every night. With Leah's line of "work," I couldn't really afford not to tell her. I knew that I loved her with everything in my heart and I just wanted to make sure that she knew that.

Leah wasn't in the bed with me. Red eyes were glaring down with the most menacing look that I had ever seen. He pulled the cloth away from his face, leaving me to stare at James and the Arab that had first captured us. Like magic, James had his hand around Leah's throat, pointed fangs just a few inches away from her throat. "Let her go," I stated darkly. "Just let her go." James hushed me. Iron fetters chained me to the bed on either side of my face. "Let her go!" I thrashed.

A silent tear streamed down Leah's face as she struggled in James' arms. "It's going to be okay, Leah. Everything is going to be fine, I promise," I told her. I strained and fought, trying to get her away from the monster. James laughed in disgust, his hand wrapping tighter around Leah's tiny waist.

"You shouldn't make promises that you can't keep," he snarled.

"It's not like you didn't break yours," I spat. "We promised that we were going to watch each other's backs, Jay. You broke that one, didn't you?"

"Nate," Leah whimpered. I couldn't get my hands free, I couldn't protect her from him. His red eyes glared at her and then flickered to me. "Nate."

"It's going to be okay, Leah. Just - - Jay, you don't want to hurt her. No matter what happened between us, I know you man. You won't hurt an innocent girl."

"I can smell her, Nate," he snarled back. "I know that she's not just some girl."

"Let her go, James!" I fought again. Normally I couldn't reach her; I couldn't get to her. But it was rare that I couldn't get my hands free. James hushed me darkly. "She isn't important to you."

"Nate!" Her panic was building, her dark eyes frantic. James leaned down and sank his sharp teeth into her neck. Leah screamed at the same moment that I cried out for him to stop. My face stung like I was being slapped. I closed my eyes tightly to avoid seeing the pain on Leah's face. "Nathan!"

I opened my eyes to reveal the dark eyes that I loved still frantic. But there were no marks on her neck where James had bitten her, no hand around her neck, no James lingering in the background. "You're okay, Nate," she whispered. Her hands cupped my cheeks. "I'm sorry that I hit you," she said, leaning down to press her forehead against mine. "You haven't had one that made in a while." I nodded shakily, but she just kept talking, kept telling me that I was okay, that I was safe with her. It was almost an hour later that my heart rate was back to normal and I was able to look at Leah. "What was it about?"

Leah made a point of asking me about any nightmares that I had gotten. She thought that it was better if I told her about what had happened in the ones that I remembered. The weird thing was that I remembered more and more after every time I talked to her. Like I was confronting the things that had plagued me for so long. Memories that had been haunting me for so long came back to the forefront of my mind and reminded me what had happened. But talking to Leah about them did seem to be helping. "James was a vampire and he bit you."

Leah becoming a part of my life had changed so much about my dreams. It wasn't just my torture anymore, but Leah's. The things that had gotten to me, that had ruined my life were now trying to ruin the best thing that had ever happened to me. The nightmares were just a reminder of how helpless I really was. Leah could go off any day on patrol and die because she wasn't strong enough to fight off some vampire. I had talked to Jake about it once before. Leah wasn't very strong but she was fast. She could outrun anything and everything. But what got to me was that she couldn't actually fight them off. There were some that were stronger than Leah and could actually hurt her. That was what my nightmares were; they were the simple mnemonic that I couldn't protect her.

"Nothing is going to happen to me, Nate." She seemed so sure that it was difficult not to believe her. But it was also hard not to think about all the shit that could happen to her while she was gone."Are you going to keep staring at me or are you going to talk to me?" she asked after I'd been looking at her for a few long minutes.

"Wil it piss you off if I tell you that I don't want you to go to this thing?" I asked. She cocked her head to the side. "To hang out with Ryanne in the vampires," I explained unprompted.

"Yes, it will piss me off," she said, her eyebrows arching in a dare. "But you could give me some reasons that I can completely counter," she added kindly.

"I just... Leah, what happens if they do decide that attack you?" She was already shaking her head. "I'm being serious here, Leah. They can attack you and kill you and I can't help you."

"Nate, you're being ridiculous. You're supposed to relax while you're recovery. Quiet winding yourself up. We're going to go to the bridal store and I will text you the entire time," she said with surety.

God, please don't let her get any ideas while she's surrounded by wedding shit.


	53. Chapter LII

**Author's Note: I'm warning you now that there isn't much action in this chapter. You can't really call it fluff... But it's like the heart to heart stuff. I don't know... Enjoy!**

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**Chapter LII**

While Leah was out and about in the last few weeks with the wedding shit, I spent more and more time down at the Clearwater house. Now that I was feeling better, I was trying finish all of the things that I had started in the house. I was still a little sore, still struggling a little with the pain. But the less that I said to Leah, the more Leah let me do in a day. So I fought through the pain and kept working.

I had fixed the shed in the backyard and was laying down some mulch in the areas that were getting a little sparse when Seth appeared. "Hey," I greeted. He whispered back the same thing. I sat up, ignoring the stinging in my stomach and looked at him. The kid was so full of life, so full of happiness. I couldn't imagine what could take that smile from his face. But he wasn't grinning at me at all right now. In fact, he looked so ridiculously serious that it was almost comical. "You got something on your mind or are you just going to sit there and stare at me?" I asked.

"Can I talk to you?" he said then. Dear God, this kid was no better than a woman. I sighed quietly and nodded. He helped me up and led me to the shed that we had been working on for the last few weeks. But there was a certain area of the little shack that Seth wouldn't let me touch. I figured that it was something to do with his father. I knew what that felt like; I had some things that were special to me. That was why I didn't say anything to him about it.

But that back corner of the workroom was exactly where Seth was leading me now. He dusted off one of the stools and sat on the one that I'm sure Harry Clearwater used to sit in. I braced my hands in between my legs and rested my weight, curling to protect my stomach. "My dad always had heart problems," he said quietly, looking around the room. "It's why he wasn't really good at fixing stuff. He would start it, but he got too tired to finish it." I nodded, although I didn't understand. My father had been a Marine; he'd always been in good shape. But I just nodded and let him continue. "He told me about these because he didn't think that Mom would be able to handle them. I think he wanted to tell Leah too, but after Sam broke her down like he did, she was kind of impossible to talk to."

I could see how much that had effected him in that moment. He wanted nothing more than to help his sister, to protect her from any other heartache. The Seth that I talked to all the time was laughing and bubbly and happy. This kid was serious and opening up to me for the first time. I doubt he talked to anyone about how he really felt. "Leah didn't really talk to anyone. She was kind of a bitch." I snorted. "But my dad told me about them because I would be able to handle it," he said. He used the flat end of a screwdriver to pop open a plate on the wooden desk. From my spot on the stool, I could see a few envelopes with chicken scratch writing on the front rubber banded together. "Dad wrote them two weeks before we phased. I think he knew that it was all coming to end," he said.

I just watched in silence as Seth pulled them all out from their hiding place, pull the band free and searching for the one that he was looking for. "I know that Leah doesn't really talk about him, Nate," he began again, putting the prize between his legs and replacing the rest of them. "It's hard for us," he said. I could see him struggling with his emotions. It was funny how different people were. Seth had grown up with a family that wanted to talk about the things that were bothering them. In my family, we swallowed our feelings and avoided talking about them at all costs. "But he would have liked you, Nate. I mean, I like you. My mom likes you. We like your mom, by the way." I snorted and smiled a little. "But he would have liked all the stuff that you do for Leah. She needs someone like you." He placed the letter in front of me. "I'll talk to you a little later," he said, slapping my shoulder.

I watched him leave, narrowing my eyes in confusion. What the hell was I supposed to do with this? The door clicked shut and I looked down at the white envelope in front of me. _For The Guy In My Daughter's Life_. I picked it up, still a little confused and turned it over to find writing just above the seal of the envelope. _I'm watching you._ The man had a sense of human.

_For the guy in my daughter's life,_

_I know that this is probably a surprise to get. It's not the kind of thing that people often think about doing. But if you're reading this, than I'm not there to have a barbecue with the guys and polish the guns to freak you out. Regardless of where I am, there are some things that I need to say to you. _

_I don't know why you first noticed my girl, but I would assume it was because of her looks. I'm well aware that my daughter is beautiful; I've spent countless days fighting off guys who thought that they were good enough for her. And teaching her brother how to look after her. If you're reading this, that means that Seth thinks you're good enough for her. It means that you noticed something more important than her beauty._

_To like her for her body is great. Hell, it's normal to notice a girl for what she looks like. That's how I first noticed Sue. But Leah is strong, stronger than most people. The love of her life left her for her best friend. You'll have a lot of things to combat with her. She's been hurt... A lot. But I called the man the love of her life and I was wrong. Even when they were dating, I knew that Sam wasn't the love of Leah's life. She has so much more in store for her, so much that I'm hoping you can give her._

_There's a part of me that hopes that you have a sister or something. I wish that you would have someone that you would want protected like I want my Leah protected. The best I can do is trust her judgement. She's been broken before; I don't want to see it happen again. Nd let's get that clear right now: I am watching you. This is my little girl, my _**_only_**_ little girl._

_I hope that you're everything that she's wanted; the kind of guy who will open the door for her and pay for dinner and watch out for her. The important thing for me, the one that I'll be watching out for, is when she cries. Leah doesn't cry. From the time that she was an infant, she wasn't one to cry. So the most important thing for me is to know what you do when she does cry. I don't care what's going on in your lives, when my girl cries, I expect you to hold her, to care for her, to make sure that she knows that she's loved. That's the true test. Can you put my girl before yourself?_

_We're an open family and we'll welcome you with open arms if you want us to. Please remember that this isn't just some girl that we're talking about, but my girl. This is my Leah that I'm looking out for. I'll be as close by as I can be, watching you and making sure that you never step a toe over the line. I wish that I could have been there to meet you, to make sure that you're all the things that I wanted for my girl. But I'm putting my faith in my family and my daughter. And you. _

_Don't let me down._

_Harry Clearwater._

_P.S. It's just for when you're ready._

As confused as ever, I spread the envelope wide to see a small piece of paper. The title on the transfer of ownership papers were blank, but it was signed. Four acres of land on the other side of town, away from Sam and Emily, away from everything but close enough to her family. Just what Leah would have wanted. There was a small sticky note on the backside. _You might want to start building soon. She's pretty picky_.

I smiled, fighting the emotions that were swirling around me. I didn't want let the kid see that I was that touched by a piece of paper. I wasn't sure what to do with it, whether or not I could take it. So I grabbed the paper and folded it up, placing it in my wallet behind my Dear John and the letter from my fathers. I sighed.

I had a ring and an empty plot of land for us to build a life on. "What else do I really need?" I muttered to myself.


	54. Chapter LIII

**Author's Note: So I wanted to take a moment and address a review that I got on this story. Now, I don't really mind if you have a negative comment about what I've written. Everyone is different. But if you really don't like what I've written and think that it "sucks so much" you don't have to read. Sorry that it made you feel that way. To everyone else who likes what I've written, enjoy!**

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**Chapter LIII: ****_Leah's Point of View_**

**Chapter LIII:_ Leah's Point of View_**

Our lives were easy. And just great, really. Except for the part of it where I was forced to go and be with leeches all day. I had meant everything that I'd said to him the other day though; Ryanne needed to face down her sister and prove that she hadn't broken my best friend. Besides, watching Rye writhe in pain and swallow her anger was a little entertaining. Okay...more than a little. "Leah, will you please just kill me before we have to go to this thing?" she begged me while I drove.

"No," I laughed. "Jake would kill me, my day would be ruined, and it would take all the fun out of torturing you," I explained. She glared at me, but I kept my eyes on the road. After everything that happened with Sarah Black, Ryanne was a little weary of driving. I promised Jake, on the threat of my life, that I would be a good girl and drive properly. "Besides, you have no one to blame but yourself."

"What are you talking about?" she growled. Clearly she was spending to much time with all of us.

"Rye, you had the chance to call your sister on her shit and make sure that your dad knew what a manipulative bitch she is. But you didn't," I said. She narrowed her eyes. She hated her sister, with good reason. Bella hadn't done anything but hurt her. "A part of my brain gets it. I understand that you don't want him to worry about you and Bella, but you have to fight back at some point."

"I do fight back!" she shouted back at me. She had fought her sister. But I wasn't talking about trying to beat the shit out of the bitch; I was talking about making sure that Bella didn't win.

"No, you fight _her_. You wait until you can't take anymore and then you explode," I replied, trying to keep my eyes on the road and not look over at her. I'm sure her blue eyes were probably spitting fire. "That's no healthier than letting it all go to hell like you've been doing. Find the medium, bitch," I ended in a joke, trying to lighten the mood. I was fairly sure that Nate wasn't getting drilled by Jake or Seth... _Fairly_ certain. "You're disappointing me. You used to be so much busier than this." She snorted at me and I grinned at the road. "Now turn on your bitch switch and let's go hang out with some vamps!" I shouted happily.

She laughed at me but followed me into the bridal salon. I had always imagined being their with Emily, shopping for mine and Sam's wedding. It seemed a little weird to be walking into the white decorated room with Ryanne and thinking about mine and Nate's wedding. It would happen at some point, but I wanted to know when. I really wanted to know when. Living with him wasn't enough; I wanted to build the rest of my life with him. But my thoughts were interrupted by the stench of leech seeping into my pores.

I couldn't help myself from shaking. It was instinctual. Ryanne wrapped her hand around my arm "Will you stop it?" she asked quietly. "You can't just kill them."

I was well aware of that. "I wish that I could," I muttered.

"Shut up, Leah." Like that had ever gotten me to shut up before. She rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Leah, it's hard enough to go through this without you sitting in my ear and calling me a whiny little whore." I snorted.

I couldn't actually sit in her ear; it was too small. "I didn't call you a whore," I replied instead, feigning hurt that she thought I would say something like that.

"No, but you're the bitch so I can't exactly take that title from you." I just laughed. I had spent two fucking weeks with her and the leeches, watching them plan all aspects of this wedding. I was getting ideas for my own wedding, which was probably a dangerous thing. I loved Nate, but hope was a worrisome thing to have. I didn't know when, or if, Nate would want to get married. I didn't want to be the girl that spent all her time planning a wedding that I might not even have.

The little sprite leech was flitting around, barely controlling her speed. All the dresses were the same color and cut, the only variations being the placement of the fucking ugly bows and flowers that were supposed to accent the peace. "You're sister-in-law-to-be has to have the worst taste in clothing that I have ever seen," I muttered to her when she reached out for a purple dress with an ass bow. An ass bow; who would do that to themselves or their family? That wasn't what I wanted for my wedding.

"It's Bella's wedding. No matter what you say, I know that you have pictured Emily's wedding back when you liked her," she said. I love that she never tried to get me and Emily back together. It wasn't going to happen for us. We couldn't do anything to help that relationship now. Sam had made it clear that he though an imprint bond was something that you could fight. That meant that he and Emily didn't care about me enough to fight it. Why should I care about people who don't care about me? "You could at least be polite about it," she whispered.

I didn't owe these _monsters_ anything. "I don't have to be," I snapped back.

"Okay, you two. We're here for dresses," Blondie said. I growled at her underneath my breath. "Is there anyway that you could focus on something other than each other?" I snarled at her, but Ryanne beat me to the punch when she opened her mouth and asked the bitch about getting dressed.

When they finally decided that we could be finished, Ryanne said that she would drive and let me sleep on the way home. I couldn't really bring myself to argue with her. I needed to sleep a little bit before I had to get back to the Rez and straight to patrol. Hopefully the grandma driver next to me would get me home in enough time for me to check on Nate.

I managed to get to see him only a little bit before I had to leave and patrol with jake. It had become a regular thing since the early days of my imprint. Jake was the only one who knew about it back then. And after the disaster that was the bonfire, I kept to the one person that wouldn't say shit about my imprint. So all the months later, we just talked about nothing really. We just went about our businesses and made our way to our houses and imprints.

I trudged my way into the apartment what felt like ages later. Nate was sitting awake, drinking decaf coffee in his kitchen. I hated working the night shift; Nate wouldn't sleep until he knew that I was home and that I was safe. Or, at least, that's what he said. I think that he tried and realized that the nightmares would get him without me there. It was fine; Nate needing me there with him gave me a sense of purpose. "Hey," I whispered, walking right by him and straight to the bedroom. He followed me, like I knew he would.

He joined me on the bed, wrapping his arms around me. "How was patrol?" I just grunted in response. "Hey Leah?" I managed to pry my eyes open and look at him, trying to keep myself from falling asleep. It took so much of my control not to kill the vampires every time that I had to be around them. Between that mental exhaustion and the physical energy that I would use when running patrol, I was exhausted the last few weeks. "I love you," he whispered.

I smiled. He said it all the time. I just enjoyed it when he would say it like that. He wanted to make sure that I knew it all the time. "I really love you, Leah. And I know that there are other, more poetic ways to say it, but I suck at them. But I do want you to know," he said. I wondered what had happened to make him feel like he had to say it so clearly.

"I know Nate," I said, leaning over to give him a sweet kiss. I don't know what happened to my brain in the last few moments, but I think it might have died or something. I trailed my fingers down his chest, thankful that he wasn't wearing a shirt. I loved his abs and the ridges of his scars. Each rough piece of skin was a reminder of all the things that had brought him to me. I straddled his hips, careful of his surgery sight and dragged my hips over his slowly. He groaned into my mouth and pulled away.

"Leah," he warned, but I could feel the desire building in his veins and racing with his heart.

"Actions speak louder that words," I whispered just as his hand slid up my chest. I nearly gasped when his fingers grazed the skin underneath my sports bra. Instead, I whispered, "Be nice."

His laughter shook me as he looked me dead in the eyes. "No biting," he warned.

"No guarantees."


	55. Chapter LIV

**Author's Note: Happy belated Memorial Day to all the men and women who serve our country. You sacrifices are not something that will be ****forgotten. Sorry that there as no chapter yesterday. Memorial Day is really important to me. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter LIV**

I woke up next to Leah every morning for the last few weeks, but it was different this time. The heat of her was pressed tight against my chest, her smooth skin rubbing against my scarred flesh. Waking up next to her never ceased to amaze me, though. It had been months since we'd met and I was still waiting for her to walk away, to realize that she could do so much better than me. Every morning was just another little miracle.

But this morning was different. I knew it was because we had finally... yeah. I had never gotten to feel all of her skin against me at once. And I thought that it was awesome when she was wearing a sports bra and shorts! "Yo! Leah!"

Seth clearly had never learned how to knock. He threw the bedroom door wide open, exposing both Leah and I to a cold blast of air. How the hell did he get in the apartment? "Leah!" He shouted again, still looking for her. As soon as he'd walked in, Leah had jumped upright, clutching the thin blanket to her chest.

"Seth! Get out," she screeched. Poor kid's eyes fell to his sister's bare chest and arms. He slapped his hand over his eyes and quickly backed himself out the room. Leah waited until the door slammed shut to flop down and bury her face in my chest with a groan. "I'm going to kill him," she muttered, her lips whispering against a scar on my ribcage. I laughed and pulled the blanket over both of our heads, tucking it underneath my head to hold it in place before I looked at her.

"It could have been worse," I laughed.

"I highly doubt that. My brother just walked in the room to see us naked in bed. It really can't get worse."

"It could have been Sam," I said. She moaned against and thumped her head against my chest, muttering under her breath. I chuckled and pulled her closer. "See could have been worse."

"It is worse. Seth is going to be thinking about this for the next like year and all of the guys are going to see it in the Pack mind," she explained, burrowing her face deeper into my chest like I would be able to swallow her whole. "I'm never going to live this down."

"Who cares what they think? I know you don't." She glared at me in response. "And you could always remind Sam that he didn't ever really claim you," I added.

Leah blushed bright red, embarrassed. "But everyone thinks we did," she said. "And I never really said anything to the contrary."

"I know that you two never did the things we did last night," I said. "Sam can let everyone believe what they want. I know what's actually true." She smiled at me a little, the light filtering the the cream sheets casting a yellow glow over our caramel skin. "You're kind if incredible, you know that?" I asked her.

"I think you're a little sleep derived. You're talking crazy," she laughed.

"Well, any sleep deprivation is your fault," I said, watching her face flame. "But I'm not talking crazy. You are absolutely amazing. I ran from my brother and Allie. Even when you weren't a wolf, you stayed around. You watched your cousin and your ex get closer and closer. You stayed here and put up with all their shut. I acted like a coward and ran."

"You're anything but a coward, Nate."

"We aren't talking about me. We're talking about you," I interrupted before she could start in on me. "You are insane, Leah. And I love you," I finished. She smiled at me and opened her mouth, undoubtedly to tell me that she loved me too. I pressed my mouth to hers in a hot morning kiss. She moaned against my lips as I dug my hands into the bare skin of her backside. But as quickly as it started, it subsided into a laugh.

"You guys are disgusting! The walls are thin," Seth shouted from the living room. I just laughed back at Leah and kept kissing, loving the feel of her silken skin against my rough, thick, scars. It was the most delicious kind of friction known to man. "Please stop! That's my sister," he groaned. I laughed out loud at that one, actually pulling away from Leah and resting my head on the pillow.

"You have a wedding to get to," I whispered. "And I have to help Jake with some stuff."

"I don't want to go to the wedding," she whined.

"Why? Ryanne's going to be struggling not to kill her sister. Maybe you can encourage her to fight; we all know how you love a fight," I laughed.

"He's got a point," Seth called.

"Shut it, Seth!" Leah and I snapped back. I could hear him grumbling in the other room, but the actual words were unintelligible to me. I turned my attention back the girl in my arms. "Go to wedding, don't kill anything, and then come home." She sighed a little too dramatically, but rolled herself off the bed. "Love you, Clearwater."

"You're a pain in the ass," she retorted, ripping her shorts from my hand. "But I love you too, Marine."

I could hear Seth grumbling about seeing his sister naked, but the words were drowned out by his screams as Leah started smacking him. "I'm sorry!" Seth kept shouting, but I'm sure that Leah didn't stop. I stood up, found my clothes, made my bed, drank some coffee, and waited, starting to get impatient.

With Leah keeping her eyes on Ryanne, Jake was charged with watching me. He was a cool kid, but he was still a babysitter. It wasn't that Leah didn't trust me, she'd explained. It was that she was worried about what the vampires would do to me if I wasn't guarded. Jake and I got along pretty well, so it didn't really matter all that much to me that he was the one that I was stuck with all day. Well, it didn't until he started having me work.

The wedding was a tricky situation for him. He wanted to go, but not because of Bella or Edward or any of that. He'd wanted to go because he wanted to go to a wedding with Rye. I understood that; I wanted to know what Leah was going to wear to this thing. I loved seeing her in her everyday clothing, but that was because I loved seeing her. I wanted to find more reasons for her to wear dresses; I don't think anything was sexier than Leah Clearwater when she tried. So Jake was going to set up some treehouse that he and Ryanne used to hang out in while I set up a battery operated radio with a CD that he'd put some of her favorite songs on. Romantic, right?

I finished it up quickly, hoping that it looked as nice as what I would like to d for Leah. Jake would probably check it himself later on. I know I would. I shot him a text to let him know that I was going to be on the Rez, but I couldn't tell him what I was doing. He just replied, _Whatever. Be back at the house before dark and don't die._ I snorted and shoved the phone back in my pocket. The drive was slow, but I finally made it to where the GPS said I should be.

The property.

I knew that it was a little premature for me to be looking at the place. Okay a lot. I shouldn't even be considering mine and Leah's home, but I was. I wanted to live up to all the things that her father wanted for her. It was just hard to imagine myself being that person. What with the PTSD that I had and the problems that Leah and I both shared with trust and love, I wasn't sure if I was ready to give myself up completely.

But I loved Leah; if there was anyone that I would live the rest of my life out with, it would be Leah. "Starting to plan already?" Sue's voice startled me. I tried my best not to blush; that wasn't something that I should be doing. I was a hardened Marine for goodness sake! "Don't worry; I knew about the letters and all that. He'd always talked about writing them, he just never told me where he was going to hide them." I nodded, turning my attention back to the empty property in front of me.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with it," I admitted.

"But you want to do something?" I nodded, not willing to meet the eyes of the mother of the girl I loved. Not after the things that Leah and I had done last night. I blushed as I thought about the things that I had done. "Leah has always wanted to build her own home, since she was little." I nodded. "That's why Harry bought the land for her when it first went up for sale." I just kept nodding. "I have a picture of the things that she wanted." I swung my head around to meet her. "Maybe it could give you some ideas."

I walked with Sue the few blacks back to her house and let her lead me upstairs to the box of Leah's things that she'd kept. "He would have loved you," Sue said as she handed me a picture of Harry and Leah.

I had never seen myself as the kind of her person that was going to settle down after everything that happened over seas. But I was; I was still that guy. And I wanted this with Leah. I just had to wait for things to calm down enough for us to get things straightened out. In the meantime... I knew how to build a house.


	56. Chapter LV

**Author's Note: I hope you all enjoy! I don't really have much to say except for thank you for all the support. Much love!**

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**Chapter LV:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

Digging through my closet at home to find things for Ryanne to wear was a little bittersweet. Sam was the kind of guy who wanted to show off what he had on his arm. Back when we were dating, I had a million excuses to wear heels and dresses and show off my body. After he dumped me and I became the person that I am today, I didn't really have reasons anymore. And since I had gotten together with Nate, I had even fewer. Not by any fault of his, honestly. It was just too much drama that was holding us back from getting to go on real dates.

But now I was thinking that we needed to find more reasons for the two of us to go out and about together. In the meantime, I was sitting here with Ryanne. Believe it or not, I knew how to be a girl and do my hair and makeup. I just hated to do it most of the time. Sam had expected me to look nice though. I guess it was just another thing that separated Sam from Nate. Nate didn't give a fuck what I looked like. "Jake doesn't think I should go," she was saying while I was working on her hair.

"You're going," I replied simply, rubbing the polishing wax between my hands.

"What are you putting in my hair? And why can't I just stay home?" After all of my hard work, there was no way that I would let her stay home. Besides, Jake had some big plan for her after the wedding. Maybe I could be a hairstylist. Nah; I didn't like people enough for that shit.

"Well, there are a few reasons you have to go to the damned thing," I said, walking around her. People didn't realize how good I was at doing makeup and hair. I kept her back to the mirror to make sure that she didn't get to see me work my magic. I knelt in front of her so that I could paint her lids in dustings of pinks and cream colors. "First of all, I have no reason to wear dresses or heels anymore. I mean, not these kind of dresses.

I pulled my mascara wand out and started to lay it against the root of her lashes when she opened her mouth. "Nate could -"

"Mouth closed," I snarled. I listen to her jaw snap shut with satisfaction. "Now, I'm looking forward to having a dress on." And causing trouble at the wedding. "So that's _one_ reason that you should be going. The next reason is that we all need to see the little witch's face when she discovers that I'm there instead of Jake. Oh and then there's the added benefit of getting the chance to yell at her." The little bitch had ruined my life. If the Cullens had just stayed away, there is a chance that I never would have phased. My life would have been a little more normal.

As soon as the thought was in my head, I quickly tossed it out. I didn't want to live a normal life anymore. I wanted the life that I had... the life with Nate. I never thought that I would actually _want_ to be in a pack with Sam and continue to be a wolf. But I did. I wanted to be with Nate and the only way that I would have had the balls to talk to him was if I was a wolf. I suddenly noticed that Ryanne was glaring at me, her lids twitching. "Eyes closed," I commanded. But I guess what's most important is that you get to prove a point," I said, picking up where we left off. She lifted one eye to look at me in question. "If you go to this wedding, Ryanne, you get to prove that she didn't break you. You told your dad the truth, you ratted her out, you are alive despite her multiple _accidental_ attempts to kill you, and you got Jake."

It was so hard to imagine how Bella and Jake would have fared together. Bella was nothing like Ryanne and Rye was everything that Jake needed. She kept him responsible and honest and fair and all the things that he should be. "Your sister has done nothing but try to hurt you. And you are alive and happy despite her. So don't go to the wedding for your dad or mom or because you think that it's what you _should _do. Do it because you are the only other bitch that I can count on." She laughed at me. "And because she didn't break you." I watched her try to make sense of what I was saying, try to find a place where I could have possibly been wrong. "Fine, we'll go," She said finally. I smirked at her. Of course we would go; I was always right.

After I made sure that she was satisfied with her look. I poofed her hair out with the wax so that it was more like a mane around her face and dusted her eyes lightly to highlight the blue. I turned to the mirror and dusted my own eyes, pulling a cream strapless slip onto my body. It was a little thicker than most so I was willing to wear it around until I got finished saying goodbye. "I'm going to say goodbye to Nate," I announced. "Do me a favor and stay here until I get back?" She cocked her head to the side like I had bored her. "Jake's on patrol so I need you to stay in the house, kay?" I lied.

"Yes Mom," she teased.

I pointed to the ground. "Stay." Once I was sure that she wouldn't mess up all my work, I started out the door and over to Nate's apartment. I slid the key into the lock and opened the door, but Nate was there. Mama Crowe, as Diane had insisted that I call her, was sitting there instead. "Hi, Mama," I greeted, kissing her cheek. "Where's Nate?"

"Who knows? That boy is always off doing something or another." I frowned, hoping that he wasn't doing something strenuous. Fuck it; knowing Nate he was probably at the gym. "He said to tell you that he was staying with Jake." Okay, I _had_ threatened Jake with his life if he let Nate work out. Could be worse. I nodded. "You look simply stunning, Leah," she whispered, lifting her hand out to me.

I took it and let her twirl me around. "My boy needs to give you more of a reason to dress up," she determined. "Or you should dress like this all of the time. You are truly beautiful." I smiled and thanked her again, wishing that I could have reason to dress up more. I doubted Nate liked going out and about all that much. It didn't seem like him. And in truth, I wasn't the biggest fan of it either. But I wouldn't mind going out just once a month of something. Maybe once every other month. "I have something for you," she announced, patting my hand in a motherly fashion.

She held out a necklace to me, the locket falling in her hand. It was yellow gold with little white gold scroll work on the front cover. "I always wanted to give this to a daughter one day," she whispered, her voice growing thick with tears. "I thought that I would have a daughter, actually. But I think that God didn't give me one because he knew that I would have you." I could feel my own emotions threatening to bubble over. "I found this picture for you," she continued, dropping the long, delicate chain over my head. The little oval pendant fell to the center of my boobs, resting on the cream fabric of my dress.

I lifted the locket and popped it open to find a picture of my mother and father, back in their younger days, laughing at me with a bright smile. The other half of the locket was empty, nothing there for me. "Maybe some day there can be a picture of you and Nate in the other half," she said when she caught me staring at my reflection in the empty side.

"Or maybe a picture of you and Nate's father," I suggested. Her eyes misted over and a tiny tear escaped her eye. I watched her fight valiantly for her controlling, wiping her cheek to erase the evidence.

"I would like that," she managed to say. "I wish that he had been as prepared as your father," she laughed then. The statement confused me a little but I didn't say anything. "I guess you and Nate are in the same boat there, huh?" I nodded. He would never know my father and I would never know his. We would have to cling to the little things that they left behind because otherwise, we wouldn't have a clue as to who they are. "You should get going sweetheart. Maybe get your dress on," she suggested. I looked down, remembering that I was in a slip.

"Love you, Mama," I said as I pulled the door shut and booked it back to the house. Time to stir up some trouble.


	57. Chapter LVI

**Author's Note: I know that I didn't have a chapter up yesterday. My mom had surgery and I was stuck in the hospital all night. I'm really sorry! I wish that I could have gotten it up, but life gets in the way sometimes, huh? Anyways, enjoy!**

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**Chapter LVI:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

We laughed at Billy's inappropriate comments as I drove all the way down to the Cullen house. I was trembling from the moment that we crossed the treaty line. I just wanted to go home, hang out with Nate on the couch, watch something stupid on television, eat ice cream and laugh about whatever had gone on with our mothers today. They were best fucking friends now. I'm not sure how I felt about that actually. They talked all the time and probably shared stories that I wanted kept secret. But I guess I would prefer that to them hating each other. Mom wouldn't even talk to her sister after everything that had happened with Emily. She said their relationship was beyond repair now. I understood; that's how I felt about my relationship with my cousin too.

The house was disgusting. I don't mean that it was filthy or anything like that. How could it be? It was inhabited by living corpses. No, the entire place was just so gaudy. It was like someone went out of their way to make sure that everything was the best of the best. The cars that were parked in the driveway were all European and expensive. The lawn and shrubberies all looked well cared for, like someone came by everyday and did some kind of maintenance. It just looked...dead. It looked like everything was set up their for appearances, to make it look like they had the best of the best. And I guess they did.

But I could also argue that they didn't really have anything worth while. What good is a beautiful home in the secluded woods when you can't bring friends down there? When you don't have a family to raise in the those forests? When there aren't kids to teach the forest to? I had always pictured a little house on a few acres of land for my future home. A little log cabin with a wrap around porch so that Nate could sit on the front porch and watch our daughter drive away on her first date, so that we could sit in the back and watch our boys play on a playhouse that Nate would build. The house wouldn't be big, just large enough for us and a few kids. I just wanted something warm and homey. Not the cold, glass walls of the Cullen house.

"Ryanne!" a buttercream voice shouted above the noise. Charlie kissed her head and took Billy from her, but I stayed right where I was. I was here to watch her, to keep her safe. And if it were somehow reversed, I would want someone to make sure that Nate was taken care of at all moments. I caught Rye's, but she nodded towards Billy and Charlie. Fine; I would go. But I stayed close enough to make sure that I could get to her in a moment. "Sweetheart, your sister told me that you left last night. She was so disappointed." Dear God this was worse than dealing with Bitch Swan.

"I didn't want to sleep here, Mom. And I was kind of upset that you left me here," Ryanne said harshly. At least the girl was doing well.

"Your sister wanted you to stay," her mother countered.

"But I wanted to leave, Mom." That's my best friend.

"Well, either way, your sister is waiting for you upstairs. She's got your dress all ready for you." My ears perked up at the words. Ryanne best keep her ass down here. I'd have to kill otherwise.

"I'm wearing my dress, Mom," she said. I nodded a little to myself.

"Ryanne, dear, she has your bridesmaid's dress," the older woman laughed. Really? She was going to laugh it off like her daughter was being stupid.

"I'm not a bridesmaid."

"This is your sister's day, sweetie. And she wants you to be a part of you this."

I listened to Rye stand up for herself and tell her mother that she didn't need to be understood, only loved. "You should go enjoy your daughter's day with her," she said finally. I smiled when her mother walked away in a huff, muttering about ungratefulness under her breath. I turned towards her and tossed an arm over her shoulders.

"There's my partner in bitchiness," I laughed. The death march - - I mean bridal song started. Bella slowly descended the stairs, holding tight to Charlie's arm to keep herself from falling. The smell of leech was swirling around my nose, burning all the hairs in there and threatening to push me over the edge. How did people manage to live around these things? More importantly, how did _Jake_ ever manage to be around these things? Dear God, I just want to kill them. I wrapped a firm hand around the arm of Billy's chair, listening to the barely audible creaking of the metal. Billy just stared ahead, although I'm sure he could hear it too. "Happy thoughts," Ryanne whispered in my ear. That didn't help. It was impossible to think about happy things when I was watching a vampire changing in action. Any day now, they would break the treaty. "Nate."

I had to calm down. I had to do it; if I didn't I wouldn't be able to protect Ryanne like I was supposed to. So I thought about the other night, about how gentle Nate had been. I thought about the look on his face when he realized that I was still a virgin, the way that he'd kissed me when I started to worry about what he had thought of me. I thought about that damn dimple on his left cheek that made me want to melt every time it appeared. And before I knew it, someone was saying, "If you are family of the bride and groom, we'd like for you to stay down here. Otherwise, please feel free to head on out to the backyard."

I stood up, figuring I could stand by the staircase. The _groom's_ family were all vampires. I'd be damned and then murdered by the Pack if I left her there by herself. Rye was roughly pushed back down on her ass. "If you're not going to be an active part of the wedding, the least you can do is take pictures with the rest of us," that buttercream voiced hissed. "I'm sure your friend can get Billy to the backyard," she added with a look to me. I watched Ryanne start to walk towards the rest of the people that were crowding around the altar. I pulled her to a stop.

"Why are you doing this?" I demanded gently. I wanted to keep her from making a mistake in this. She needed to be doing this for herself, not because her parents expected it of her.

"Because years from now, I'll get married and Bella won't be there." Well that was a given; the Cullens were going to have to say that she was dead. She would never get to be a part of Ryanne's wedding to Jake. Although I was doubting her time frame. She'd be lucky to make it more than a year. "And centuries from now, when my great-great-great-grandchildren are doing what you and Jake do, Bella will have to look back at these pictures. She'll see her entire family dead and realize what she gave up." I smiled at her, proud that she was in fact, thinking about herself. "And that I lived happily ever after."

"Good girl," I affirmed, patting her head like a puppy and letting her walk towards the altar.

She barely made it a step before a blonde parasite was coming up and shaking her hand. I growled a warning, daring her to continue touching my Pack sister. She dropped Rye's hand only a moment later, probably realizing who I was and what exactly she was dealing with. "After yesterday, I think you'll forgive me if I don't want any contact," Ryanne said with forced manners. Rye had been staying at the Cullen house the night before for the bachelorette party. She had assumed that her mother was going to take her home. When the bitch left her there, Rye decided to walk the five miles to the treaty line.

She was only a few steps away when she was grabbed by a leech who threatened to eat her. "I was only coming to apologize for Jonas' actions yesterday," the blonde said. "We did not know that he was here," she explained, pushing her hand back out like a peace offering. "I'm Kate." Ryanne just stared at her hand while I kept my eyes on the parasite herself. We were quickly called over to Bella's side of the family. They took a few pictures before Bella screeched her sister's name.

"Is Jake here?" she asked immediately. I watched her bright brown eyes search her surroundings for any sign of Big Bad Black.

"He had work tonight, Bella." Her smile dropped to a flatline, her eyes turned dull, and the part of the dress that she'd been holding up dropped to the side again. "I didn't want to throw off Alice's count, so I brought Leah." Ryanne met my eyes, laughter brimming in her bright blue orbs.

"Oh thank you!" I thought I was going to pee my pants with laughter. "Rearranging those tables would have been a nightmare." The little sprite thing sounded like she was actually happy that I was there. Could I please just kill her? Actually, I'll just kill all of them.

Bella Swan turned a pale, sour apple green as she realized that we had completely played her. "But I - I thought that I had sent the invitation out early enough for him to get the day off," she stammered."Surely Sam would've allowed him the day off." Oh my God this was amazing.

I watched Ryanne shrug like she knew nothing beyond what she'd been told. "Jake told me that he had work today and that he wouldn't be going to the wedding," she said with another little shrug. "Billy, you must be getting hungry. Let's head outside." She grabbed Billy's chair from me and started to walk away.

I was biting my lip to keep from laughing. The bitch sister looked like she wanted to vomit or like she really really needed to go to the bathroom. But when Bella grabbed her elbow, I had to fight the urge to kill her. "Remove hand from sister or lose arm," I whispered with a solicitous smile on my face.

"Do't touch her," Edward snarled at me. "Bella, let go of your sister. Let's go out to the part." He gripped his wife's hand and pried it off of Rye's forearm.

"I want to speak with my sister," she whispered shyly.

"Only for a moment dead," he replied, kissing her cheek. Ryanne looked like she was going to vomit. "I wouldn't know," he said with a smile at my friend.

"I'm pretty sure we say this every time: Get out of my head." I smiled at her. "What do you have to say, Bella?"

"Is he coming later, when he gets off pat-"

"No," she cut in, saving her sister the pain of saying something that would make me kill her. "He's working all night."

"What about his lunch break?" I snorted. "What did you do, Ryanne?" she said in a whisper. I took a deep breath trying to keep from phasing. Why did she assume that Ryanne had anything to do with it? "I asked him to come here. I wrote him a note and everything. The only reason that he wouldn't be here right now is because you did something. You said something!"

"You're making a scene, Bella. And I don't think you want to do that on your wedding day," Ryanne countered, ignoring the things that Bella had said about her.

"It won't," Edward said suddenly. He was digging around in her head again? Fuck that. I growled at him and he stepped back again, pulling Bella with him.

"Jake didn't come because he didn't want to, Bella. I don't know what else to tell you," Rye said. She turned away and Bella's face fell. It looked like all the fun had just drained out of her. God I couldn't wait for the guys to see this.

I followed my little minion out the door and squeezed her shoulders. "I've missed you bitch," I said with a sigh. She just laughed at me.


	58. Chapter LVII

**Author's Note: We're getting a little mature and cutesie tonight. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter LVII:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

I danced with Billy at the wedding. Well...kind of. I wanted to make sure that I was right there for Ryanne should anything happen. The good news was that the major ordeal of the night was over. Just before the little pixie leech was going to sneak her away, however, Bella tried to make another go at her sister. I growled at her, looking at her now husband and thinking of every possible way to kill her. The leech pulled her away. Smart move.

Trying to be a part of the wedding, we threw rice with the rest of the guests. Ryanne through hers hard. I torpedoed mine into leech lover and the parasite's ear. He glared at me dangerously but it didn't bother me. What _did_ bother me was the drunk men that I was going to have to drive back home. "Come on, guys," I said, pushing Billy and towing Charlie behind me. "Let's get into the truck. Into the truck, Charlie." I practically forced the man into the cab and then lifted Billy, ignoring the stare that I got from the Newton kid. "Hey kid," I shouted. He pointed to himself and then looked around. "No the other jackass who's trying to hard to get a married woman. Yes, you," I said. He took a tentative step towards me. "Don't let them out of the truck, you got it? I'll be back in five." He nodded, looking like he was still a little scared. I searched out Ryanne, who was sitting on the back patio with her hands in her lap. "Hey, Newton is going to watch them really quick," I said, pointing to the truck. "Come with me."

Jake owed me big after all of this. Not only did I have to go to a leech infested wedding, but I also had to help him pull off his big surprise for her. She pulled off her heels, undeterred by the dirt outside. I practically made her jog to the creek to keep up with me. I just wanted to finish all of my jobs and then get to be home with Nate. As soon as she saw Jake staring at the other side, she jumped down the river bank and sprinted across. Jake mouthed a _"Thank you,"_ and then linked their fingers and started walking away.

I sprinted at wolf speed back to the truck and relieved the kid. He must have been afraid of me because he was standing right where I left him, staring at Charlie and Billy. "Thanks," I said brusquely. I brushed by him and into the driver's seat, speeding toward the Chief's house. I helped Charlie out of the truck, making sure that he at least made it upstairs to his bedroom before I went to take care of Billy. I would have been much easier if Jake was there. I was grumbling about him being a bad son when I pulled up to see my mom sitting on the front porch. "What are you dong here?"

"I thought you might be a little anxious to get back home, especially after a wedding," she said with a smile that said she knew more than she was letting on. "Head on home. I've got this boy," she said, taking Billy's chair from my hands and steering him towards the house. I quirked a brow and watched her wave me off. "Get going," she commanded.

Sure that he had it in hand and was being serious about wanting to take care of Billy, I sped off to Nate's apartment. Lights were flickering in the windows, telling me that he was still awake. I took a quick check in the rearview mirror to make sure that I looked good. I wanted Nate to see what I could look like when I had the right occasion. I knew how to make myself look good and I wasn't exactly shy about it. Flicking my bangs out of my face, I pushed the door of the truck open and marched up to the front door.

I didn't bother to knock; I had stopped that ages ago when he'd given me the house key. It was a strange thing, actually, to have the house key. It made it more official for me. I listened to the door groan as I pushed it aside, thinking that I would find Nate on the couch in a tank top and basketball shorts.

Instead he was sitting there, elbows resting on knees while he wrung his hands together. There was an orchid on the coffee table, the petals gleaming in the candle light. Surrounding the delicate flower were some small bowls that were barely a quarter of a gallon, filled half way with water, a single tea candle floating in the center. Cold shivers ran down my spine, shocking me when I realized that this was all done for me.

More candles decorated our small kitchen table, another purple orchid plant standing in the center of the table, dinner plated. The portions were a good deal heartier than what I had eaten at the wedding that night. Nate still hadn't looked up at me, but I knew he was aware of my presence. "What is all this?" I whispered, sinking down in the cushions beside him.

"I was helping Jake set up his thing for Ryanne and I... I uh, well see I kind of thought that maybe... You know, you might- - uh, like it if," he tried to get out. The boy was shit with words but damn if he didn't know how to pull his shit together and show that he loved me. "I thought you might this," he finally managed.

"All that stuttering to say that little sentence?" I teased. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine in the sweetest, most intoxicating kiss that I had ever I felt. His hands wrapped themselves in my short hair while I traced the buttons down his shirt. He had ever gotten dressed with good clothes. He pulled me closer and kissed me deeper, his hand moving to brush the bangs out of my face. He pulled away after I was panting for air and smiled at me.

"You hungry? I - - uh, I made... I cooked." I know that it would probably get frustrating to some that he couldn't finish a sentence when it came to stuff like this, but honestly, I thought it was charming, in its own way. Nate could get the words out because his brain was too flustered with everything else going on, because he was thinking about what he wanted to do next. What kind of girl wouldn't want that? Who wouldn't want someone that was always thinking?

"I'm starving," I said, fingering the chain that held the locket. I still wanted to find a picture of his parents. I was tempted to ask him, but I wasn't sure how he would handle it. His father was kind of off limits most days. "This looks delicious," I said, sitting down in his offered chair. He tucked it in for me and rounded the corner. It was a basic chicken caesar salad, which Nate had admitted once was the only thing that he could cook. But it was fucking delicious. He poured out a glass of red wine, the same one that I'd first gotten drunk with when I went to meet his aunt. "It's beautiful in here, Nate," I whispered when he rose to collect the dishes.

"I'm glad you like it," he replied with a smile. I was still fingering the chain, suddenly nervous. I mean dear God, it wasn't like we hadn't had sex already. "The locket?" he asked when he saw me a few moments later.

"What?"

"Is that the locket?" he repeated.

"How'd you know?" I was astonished.

"When I thought that I loved Allie, I had asked my dad for it," he admitted. It kind of dampened my spirits to know that he'd asked for it for his ex. "But Pop said he didn't think Allie was the right girl for the locket," he continued. "And he was right."

"You just try to say the right thing every damn time, huh?" I said, swallowing the tears that threatened.

"If I can _say_ the right thing just once, I'll be happy," he laughed. His hands enclosed mine and pulled me up from my seat as a soft piano song started playing in the background. He pulled me close and pressed a gentle kiss to my cheek. "You want to dance?" It was the only thing that I could think about when I was on the dance floor that night. I nodded, my cheek resting against his shoulder. "How was the wedding?"

"Not as good as ours will be," I replied quietly. As soon as the words left my mouth, I wished that I hadn't said them. My cheeks flamed and I buried my head against his chest to hide my blush.

"I would hope it wouldn't be better than ours, Leah," he laughed, his hand fanning out on my back. "You look stunning," he whispered. I felt his hand drifting up my back to the zipper on my spine. "We should find more reasons for you to get dressed up," he continued, "but I think we can both agree that it's not time for this right now."

The man was a romantic at heart, no matter how much he fought it.


	59. Chapter LVIII

**Author's Note: I don't have much to say about this chapter except enjoy!**

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**Chapter LVII**

It had been almost two weeks since I had surprised Leah that night. I had rented all the right equipment and leveled the property for the house, hoping that I could build her the big backyard that she'd wanted since she was a little girl along with the house. But therein lied the problem: I couldn't build an entire house by myself. I just needed a few people that I could tell how to do something. I could teach people; I just needed help.

It was with that thought that I brought myself to a house that I had sworn to avoid at all costs. Sam and Emily's house was so small and nestled back into the trees that it had a look about it that was off putting to me. Leah had been very specific about what she wanted; it was to be wide open and small, just barely large enough for us and some kids.

Kids.

I had never pictured myself as someone that would ever have kids, but I wanted them whenever I thought about my life with Leah. I wanted them to grow up and have their mother's strength, their grandmothers' caring, their Uncle Seth's endless joy. I wanted them so badly, I'd caught myself daydreaming about it from time to time. It was probably because I was at the plot, thinking about all the things that I could put in the house. I could let Leah decorate once it was built, but I felt like that detracted from the point of building the house. No; I needed to build it and have it ready for her to move in. I just had to figure out the right way to ask her about what she wanted without giving away my plans.

I knocked on the door, probably the only person in the history of the house to do so. I heard the entire house fall silent before someone moved to the door. Emily pulled the door open with a smile on her that only brightened when she realized that it was me standing in front of her. "Nate! It's good to see you again," she stated warmly. She stepped back after I nodded. She seemed a little upset that I didn't give her a worded response. "Leah's not here; she's on patrol with Sam." Perfect, the two people that I _don't_ want to talk to about this were gone.

"I'm actually here to talk to the rest of the guys. Is everyone here?" She looked a little taken aback that I wasn't here to find Leah but quickly recovered and nodded.

"Of course; they're in the dining room," she said quickly, leading me to another area of the house.

The guys were loud and boisterous, acting just like a family as they fought over who was going to get the food that was left on the table. Jake was the first one to look up at me. He smiled in a friendly manner. He was the only one of all the guys that I actually knew, so I liked him more than the rest. Well, except for Seth. I thought of that kid as the little brother I should've had. "Hey Nate," Seth said through a mouthful of muffin. "Leah's not here," he puffed out.

"I know; I came to talk to you all," I said. I think his name was Paul. Regardless, his eyes narrowed as he looked over at me. I really didn't care what he thought of me. I just needed his help for a few weeks and then I wouldn't talk to him again. "It's about that letter, Seth," I said.

The kid's eyes went wide as he realized what I was talking about. "What letter?" another one of the guys asked. _Embry,_ Jake mouthed behind him. I nodded. He pointed out each of the guys and mouthed their names so that I wouldn't look like a complete dunce.

"Harry left me a letter and some, uh, some land," I said. Everyone's eyes went a little wide. "To build a house for Leah and me one day," I added. "That's what I wanted to talk you all about. I, um, I want to talk to you all about. I want to start building this house for her and make sure that I get everything right, but I need some help."

"We'll help you," Jake promised before I had finished fully explaining. A few of the guys nodded along with him. Seth looked like he wanted to cry. He was such an emotional little thing sometimes. I couldn't really blame him; the kid'd had his family ripped apart when he needed them most. He had to grow up real quick and all I could hope was that someway, somehow, I could slow down the whole process. All of the guys started nodding after Jake sent a glare their way. It was Emily's reaction that I didn't see coming.

"You want to build her a house?" she said from the kitchen. I looked over at her, still confused as to why it mattered so much, but I nodded. "From the ground up?"

"The ground is all turned up and leveled. I just want to get the house up so that I can work more on the landscaping. It'll barely be a few weeks if we work on it everyday." A few of the guys' eyes narrowed. "I know that some of you guys have imprints. I'm not asking you to spend all your time away from your girls or anything." Most of the guys nodded at me. "Leah told me once that this was your family, like you guys were a great family. She said that you guys are her pack brothers."

"We are," Embry said with surety.

"So I guess what I'm asking for is your help to give your pack sister what she deserves. We all know that Leah can be a little bit of a bitch," I said. Everyone, with the exception of Emily, laughed. "I think that we can all agree that Leah's been a little nicer since the two of us started dating."

"True that," Paul said with a fake gangster accent. I rolled my eyes.

"Leah deserves the house that she always dreamt about. If this was one of your imprints, you guys would stop at nothing to make it happen. I'm just trying to give her all the things that she wants." Mentioning the imprints seemed to have worked. The guys that had girls nodded along, understanding what I was saying. Paul, the one that didn't seem to like me much at all, nodded and stood up.

"We'll help you, man," he promised. "When did you want to start?"

I turned around without another word and sprinted to the car to grab the blueprints that I had spent hours pouring over. If Leah wasn't at the house with me then she was on patrol. And with the limited drama that was going on in the last few days, her patrol time was severely lowered. I had her mother and mine calling her over at the house at all hours of the day so that I could get them done. "Oh so now," Seth said with a laugh. I smiled and nodded.

The guys all lifted their plates so that there was room to spread the plans out on the table. I started speaking quickly, glad that they all had super hearing and would understand me. I pointed to each area of the house and explained what I wanted it to become. Everyone was nodding along... Until they all sat up straight and stared at front door. "What the fuck are you doing in my house?" Sam growled at me.

This was what I was trying to avoid. Leah would only find out about it which would ruin my surprise. I had promised her that I wouldn't lie to her again, not after I did the last time. "I came here to talk to the Pack. I'm not stupid enough to ask for your help," I said, turning to face him. "I just wanted to talk to the guys."

"Why?"

"You don't want to know man," I promised him.

"Why? Why don't you want to tell me, huh?"

I pulled the blueprints from the table, my temper flaring and my anger getting the best of me. "I'm building a house for Leah," I said. "I needed some help getting shit together so that I could get the house built for her."

"You're building her a fucking house?" he screamed at me. "You already live with her!"

"Sam you're overreacting," Jake said calmly from behind me. "He's just taking care of his imprint like the rest of us."

"You're going to help him?"

"You always say that you want the best for Leah," Paul said then. "And if that's true, then you're going to understand how important this is. Leah always told you about her house that she wanted, we all saw that in your mind. He's just doing what he can to make her happy."

"You don't deserve her," he snarled at me.

Jake raced over, unseen by me, and rested his hand on Sam's shoulder while I spoke. "You're right and I know that. But I'm what she wants and what's chosen. So get over yourself and realize that you don't win," I spat. I wrote the address of the property down and handed it to Paul with a whispered thanks before I turned to walk towards the door. "And do me a favor and don't tell Leah that I was here. She'll only suspicious."

Emily walked me out and held the door open for me. I nodded to her when I walked through the threshold. "This is a real great thing you're doing for her," she whispered. "I'm glad she has someone like you."

I didn't say anything, just nodded. Now all I had to do was start fighting again so that I could pay for everything I wanted to buy her.


	60. Chapter LIX

**Author's Note: Okay everyone, here we go. Please let me know if you have any questions, concerns, or requests. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter LIX**

The guys were a great help with the house. In the weeks since we'd talked about the blueprints, we'd gotten the foundation poured and the framework for the majority of the house. The guys worked their shifts from sun up to sun down so long as they weren't on patrol. They even worked on it when I wasn't there. For four hours a day, I was back in the gym training. I had finally convinced Leah to let me go back to the gym a few weeks ago. The fight was three days away, the one that I was going to win. I needed that money in order to get the carpets for the bedroom.

So far, none of the guys had told Leah. And if we could make it without her knowing for a month, I think we were in pretty good shape. So while the house was getting worked on and Leah had no clue, I was working on figuring out how to tell her that I was going to be competing in a fight. I knew that she wasn't going to like it, that she would say that I was only a few weeks post op. I'd had a piece of shrapnel in my chest, I'd almost lost my life because of splenic bleed. She was going to argue with me and say that if anyone hit me just right, I would die. I knew that she was going to do all those things, but I still had to sit down and talk to her.

We were sitting on the couch, drinking beer, and watching some action movie on television when I decided to broach the subject. "How was patrol?" I asked her suddenly. She looked a little startled but looked up at me. She was staring at me with narrowed eyes, trying to figure out what was making me want to ask.

"What's going on?" she asked, placing her beer on the table and crossing her arms. I just stared at her, waiting for her to explain herself. "You don't want to know about patrol. You want to know about something else. What is it?" she explained.

"I registered for a fight," I said, looking away from her so that I didn't have to see the glare in her eyes.

"Could you repeat that? Because it sounded like you, who just had surgery, said that you registered for an MMA fight," she said. I flinched at the sound of her voice. This was going worse than I thought that it would. I sighed and blew the air out slowly as I looked over at her.

"I don't have a job, Leah and -"

"You work for your uncle," she interrupted.

"And that's not always good enough to make sure that I can take of my shit, Leah. I don't have a good job that can pay for things." That can provide for you and the family that I want to have with you, I was thinking. "I can win this fight, Leah. And it's six hundred bucks for the one night," I said.

"You want me to let you go and fight so that you can make six hundred dollars?" she asked incredulously. "I mean, dear God, I'll give you a loan if I have to. Six hundred dollars is not worth it for this," she stated firmly.

Here comes the kicker. I wouldn't be surprised if she up and left the house after I told her this part. "It, uh - - It wouldn't be a one time thing, Leah," I whispered.

"You want to _fight_ for your career?" she snarled, shoving off the couch and pacing nervously. "You want to let people beat the shit out of you just so that you can make a couple hundred?"

"Leah, there's fights like twice a week in this area. I can get a reputation and make a grand a week," I explained. I had been looking into this for the last couple of months. I needed to make this a career, a full time thing while I was working at Frank's. At least until I got to old or found a job that I liked better.

"At what cost Nate? You want to go out and make a thousand dollars because you're letting people_ beat you up_," she shouted at me. "And I'm sure that you just expect me to come along and watch you fight."

"We both know that I'm a better fighter than that. I'll be fine," I whispered. I looked down at her, gently wrapping my hands around hers and pulling her towards the couch. "I would never ask you to go and watch me fight, Leah. Not if you don't want to," I said when we were seated again. "I'm sure that it's hard to watch people you care about fight. And I'm sure that it will be worse when you're a wolf. So, I understand that you don't want me to fight, but I have to make an income," I said. "I have to fight."

"Fine," she said, standing up off the couch and padding off to the bedroom. She stopped in the entry to the tiny hallway and looked back at me. "If you want to fight, I'll support you, but I can't watch it, Nate."

With those final words, she got into bed. I downed the rest of our beers and did some minor cleanup, taking my time so that I could avoid an angry Leah for a little time. When I had finished everything, I silently made my way to our room. She was lying on the edge of her side of the bed, almost off the bed to get away from where I would be. "Lovely," I muttered as I pulled my shorts and shirt off and placing them on the little bench on the foot of the bed. "Just piss her the fuck off Nate," I said to myself. "That's the way to make sure that she wants to stay with you."

Friday had finally arrived. True to her word, Leah was at the house to see me off when I had packed the last of my stuff. Frank was going to act as trainer and manager and meet me in Seattle. I wished that Leah would go, that she would support me ringside, but I knew that it was too much to ask. She'd made her opinion on the whole thing rather clear.

But she was sitting on the hood of my Jeep, waiting for me. "Thanks, Leah," I whispered when I had loaded my bag. She sighed and slid off of the car. "I'm glad that you're here." I opened my arms to her so that she would take a step forward. I didn't expect her to come barreling into my arms. "You're worrying again," I whispered, covering her back with my hands.

"Kind of hard not to," she replied. She pulled back and looked up at me, using my arms to brace herself. "I swear on my life if you come home with anything worse than a cracked rib, I'll kill you myself. And you know I can do it," she threatened.

She opened her mouth to continue to threaten me, but I forced her head to mine and kissed her until she was nothing more than goo in my arms. Her knees were struggling to keep herself upright, so I did the only thing that a rational person would do. I cupped her ass in my hands and puled her off the ground. Her muscular legs wrapped around my waist, squeezing me to keep herself there. With her legs twined around me, she was a few inches taller. She pressed down on my shoulders and kissed me deeply. "Come home, Nate," she breathed when she finally pulled away.

"I promise, Leah," I said surely. I dropped her down on the ground again and kissed her one last time. "I'll be home late tonight." She nodded and I dropped my voice to an intimate whisper. "Maybe you can keep the bed warm."

She blushed but said nothing else. I got in the car, unsure what else there was to say, and looked at her through the windshield. She'd wrapped her arms around herself and was standing in the open doorway of the apartment, smiling ever so slightly. I knew that this wasn't easy for her; I knew that she wanted me to stay with her, but I had to do something.

Leah couldn't have a job, it's just not something that would be applicable to her life. I had to do my duty as a man and take care of her. She was mine, my responsibility and my love. My father had taught me that I was supposed to be there for my woman and make sure that she never needed anything. Fighting wasn't something that I necessarily wanted to do for money, but it was the only thing that I had left for me. Until I could get to school or something, this was what I had. This was the only way that I had to take care of my family.

So I had to fight.


	61. Chapter LX

**Author's Note: I'm really sorry that there wasn't a chapter up yesterday. Like I said a few days ago, my mom had surgery and needed a little help around her house yesterday. To make it up to you all, there will be a double update. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter LXI**

I was one of the of the strange people that actually enjoyed driving alone. That wasn't to say that I didn't like to drive with other people, but I liked to talk things through in my head. I had so much to think about and sometimes it wasn't possible to think it through with another person right there. Unless that person was Leah. She was always pretty good about talking with me and making sure that I didn't have anything weighing on my brain.

But she hadn't come with me.

I had told her that it was okay, that I didn't care that she didn't want to come with me. I mean, I had never watched _her_ fight any vampires. I don't think that I actually could. I mean, I had a hard time watching her fight Sam when the two of them were in wolf form. And I supposed that Leah wasn't too excited to watch me go fight either. I had confidence in my abilities. But I had confidence in Leah's too and it still worried me every time that she said that she had to go out and catch a parasite.

Who cares if Leah didn't want to actually come ad watch me? She was there, waiting for me when I go home. I listened to the radio and replayed some of the videos I had watched about the competitors. This wasn't a big fight. It was in the parking lot of a Seattle strip club with a few guys acting as bouncers to keep us all in line. Usually just a few body builders that were hoping to make some quick money. I guess I could be a bouncer somewhere... Or not. I didn't want to do that.

I pulled into the lot and parked, sending a quick text to Leah that just let her know that I was safe. _I love you, babe. Fight smart,_ she sent back. Fight smart. Those two words held all the advice in the world. Leah knew that my anger and my flashbacks would get the best of me if I wasn't thinking about the fight ahead. I had to stay smart, to keep my head where it needed to be. A text message was the best way that Leah could give me some support. I sent her back a text that just said that I loved her and I would be home soon in the brief second before Frank tapped on my window. I turned and looked at him, catching his eye.

Frank and I were always easy company. The two of us were so similar because of our time spent in the Corps. We weren't prone to using many words and I don't think either of us understood how we ended up with the women that we got. Jeanie was so sweet, so able to counteract Frank's grumpiness. She brought out a softer side that I don't think that anyone ever got to see. And I supposed the same could be said for me and Leah. No matter how much I wanted to, she never let me back down and hide away behind the anger. She asked me over and over until I had told her everything going on n my head. She was the one thing that was holding me to sanity.

There were only six fighters. One loss, you were out. That's the way unsanctioned, underground fights worked. But these fights were the only way to make it up to the big leagues. Scouts from the UFC would watch these videos, would come to the bigger fights, would take the best of these guys and turn them into professional fighters. I didn't ever really need that break. I could win and make a few hundred. It was enough to keep me and Leah afloat until I could get a better job. The redhead in the ring in front of me, though, turned my attention from the financial problems that had been weighing on my mind to the fights that could solve some of those problems.

Derek "The Tank" Brown was no larger than I was, but he was definitely cockier than I was. I knew that I had the ability and talent to win these fights; I had watched my competitors on the internet. But I had faults and weaknesses. God only knows how many favors it took Frank to get, a guy that no one knew about, into this fight set. I guess I'd just have to win to prove to Frank that it was all worth it.

I sat myself down and watched as the Tank went up against a blonde, the Wrecking Ball, whose name I really didn't catch. Out of the gate, he started with a superman punch that resulted in the snapping of the man's nose. Clearly this man was not someone who wanted the show of fighting; he just wanted to win and be done. He didn't even wait for the referee to announce him the winner. He just jumped out of the ring and padded off to a curtained area. The next match came out, but I didn't really watch that one.

I was able to register that it was longer than the Tank's match, but not who was fighting, nothing about their strengths or weaknesses. In all honesty, I didn't even recognize who had gone up against each other. I was too focused on all the things that could happen in my own fight. No the good or the bad or anything like that. Just simply how I could counteract the punch that the Tank had thrown, how I could have blocked the showtime kick that the competitor in the ring was doing.

Frank nudged me lightly and nodded towards the entrance to the fight. The first thing that I noticed were the girl's long legs and white snorts with sequins on her pockets. They contrasted so well with her russet colored skin. I drank in the feminine curve of her hips and tiny waist that were covered in a black tank top, nothing special, nothing too fancy. But damn if it wasn't the hottest thing I had ever seen. My eyes crawled over the rust colored lips and met her eyes.

Leah.

My breath hitched as my brain realized what my eyes knew. She was here. She'd come here to be with me, to show her support. I raised myself out of my seat and walked on ghost legs to the spot where Leah stood. She smiled shyly at me and tucked the right corner of her bottom lip in between her teeth. I stopped in front of her, marveling at the woman that was staring at me with fear in her eyes. "Hi," she whispered like she had the first time that she'd realized I wanted to get to know her, not hurt her like Sam had.

"Hi," I whispered back. "I, uh... I thought you weren't going to - - you know you said that you didn't want to - "

"I know," she replied, cutting off my stuttered words. "I know what I said, but I changed my mind," she whispered. A teasing glint lit her eyes as she smiled a little at me. "People do that, you know?" I smiled down at her. "I just - - I figured if you were going to get the shit beat out of you, I might as well be here."

"You got here pretty quick," I replied. I mean, it had only been a half hour or so. She must have left just after I did.

"I... I ran, okay?" she said. I laughed at her then, tossing my head back and pulling her into my chest. I tucked her head underneath my chin and stroked her back. "I needed to get here as soon as I could," she murmured.

Frank's shrill whistle pierced the air and brought me out of my happy world with Leah. I was here to do a job. "I'm up in just a few," I murmured into the longer part of her hair. "Come on," I whispered, threading our fingers together and pulling her towards the ring.

"You're up in five," Frank shouted over the noise. I nodded and pressed Leah down to a seat, giving her hand a tight squeeze before I turned my attention to my uncle.

I leaned into his ear so that I was sure that he would hear me clearly. "Watch my girl," I said. He nodded. "Keep a good eye on her," I added. He nodded again and clapped me on the shoulder.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let's welcome a newcomer to our humble octagon. We've had our fair share of military men in the octagon, but I don't think we've ever had one like him. Ladies and gentlemen, to fight up against the Jackhammer is Nathan "The Marine" Crowe," the announcer boomed out over the area. The crowd clapped and there were a few whoops and hollers. As I moved my way to the entrance of the cage, a whistle unlike Frank's screeched. I turned around to find Leah sprint towards me.

Her hands fisted around the hem of my shirt and tugged it over my head, revealing my scars to the rest of the world. I looked around me, certain that I was getting stares and there were whispers being spread around the small crowd. But with one shirt in her hand, Leah gripped my face and pulled me down to her mouth. She kissed me with surety and love. "Go kick ass, Marine," she whispered.


	62. Chapter LXI

**Author's Note: Okay, peoples, I know that I'm late. I'm really sorry. Family takes precedence over writing. Either way, enjoy!**

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**Chapter LXI**

I marched my way up to the center of the octagon, opening and closing my hands in fists as I marched. The man in front of me was dark skinned, his hair braided in tight cornrows that were pulling at his scalp. His mouth guard forced her mouth to jut out, his lips bowing to accommodate the bulk. I barely heard the ref talking about all the rules. I knew them well. I had to protect myself at all times. Failure to do so would mean disqualification. Blah, blah, blah. "Touch gloves and start the fight," I heard.

I extended my hand to the guy in front of me. His eyes darkened but he finally lifted his hand. There was no need to be a jackass about it. I kept my left hand up in front of my face in case he decided to swing at me. His knuckles bumped with mine and both of of us retreated. I waited for the bell to sound before I came at him.

I knew it wasn't to be expected from a guy my size, but I was a defensive fighter. I didn't like to be in people's faces and trying to knock the shit out of them. I had learned through fighting that all guys got tired eventually, especially heavyweight guys like me. It's why I worked on my endurance. If I could keep myself up the entire fight, I could tire out the guys the relied on their strength. And this guy was no different. The Jackhammer started with a quick punch combo, but he only managed to hit my arms.

I blocked the next punch and the next. One sharp fist connected with my ribs. I stumbled back against the cage, deciding that I could tired him out just as easily from the ground. "Come on, Nate," I heard behind me. I wrapped my legs around the guy's waist, curling myself up to protect my chest and ribs. I covered most of my face with my forearms and fists and let him wale on me. "Come on, Nate. You got this baby!" I smiled to myself as I heard her shouting. I knew that the anxiety was eating her alive, but I also knew how to get through this kind of a fight.

I waited until I felt the strength behind his fists begin to wane and took hold of his moment of weakness. I threw a few punches into his waist, knowing that he wasn't prepared to cover himself. He leaned to the left in order to protect himself, but I used to the tilt and change in his center of gravity. Soon he was the one on the ground, curled to try and protect himself from me. I pounding on his ribs until his arms dropped ever so slightly to cover his chest. I used the break again and right crossed, hitting his cheek and then repeating the action on the other side. I kept hitting him until his head thunked as he lost consciousness. The ref was immediately there to pull me off.

He checked the Jackhammer and let the medic in before announcing me the winner by way of knock out. Leah screamed from her place in the crowd, her hands fisted above her head. As son as they let me leave the cage, I was wrapped in Leah's arms. Despite the face that I was probably covered in sweat and a little blood, Leah hugged me tight to her chest. "You were amazing," she gushed. I pushed her away far enough that I could kiss her gently.

"That your girl, Crowe?" a man's voice asked from behind me. Leah blushed and buried her face in my chest. I turned to face the ginger that was standing in the octagon earlier that morning. "She's pretty."  
I watched his eyes roam over Leah's curves and fought the urge to growl and punch him out right there. I knew that Leah was drop dead gorgeous and that she could do much better than a scarred piece of shit like me. That knowledge didn't stop the pang of jealously and defensiveness that stirred in my gut. "Back off, Brown. She's taken," I said, pulling my girl into my side. The Tank winked at Leah, eliciting growls from both me and Leah. "Two more and I take home the win." She nodded into my side, her nails trailing over the scars on the arm around her waist.

"Are you going to fight him?" she nodded towards the Tank.

"If he wins his next match, yeah," I said.

Her eyes narrowed as she glared at the man over my head. "You better beat the shit out of him," she said darkly. I smiled and chuckled, leaning down to kiss her gently. I rolled my shoulders back, testing the tightness and any injuries that could be there before taking my place next to Leah ringside.

Tank's next fight was just as quick as the first. He did a quick side kick and a curt uppercut that sent his man's large form sprawling on the ground. He caught Leah's eye as he was announced the winner. He winked again and Leah made a gagging noise, sticking her tongue out like she was throwing up. I smiled down at her and squeezed her hand, pulling it into my lap while I waited for the next fight.

The blonde man in front of me didn't have much energy left in him. He threw a few poor punches before I took him down to the ground, pinning his arm between my knees and leaning back in a perfectly executed arm bar. I could feel the joint straining, the bones threatening to pop out underneath my hand. Finally the man's hand reached up to tap me twice, signify his surrender. I smiled again as I heard Leah holler her appreciation. For someone that didn't want to be here, she was sure enjoying herself.

The Tank and I were given fifteen minutes to catch our breath while some amateur rap star attempted to gain the crowd's attention. There were some dancing girls and even a show brought over from the strip club. Leah wasn't the biggest fan of that part of the night. "Are you ready to go up against him?" she asked, making contact with her hated enemy.

"I guess; he's got a few little things that I've noticed," I replied, burying my face in her neck and breathing in her clean soap scent. "Don't worry about it, Leah; it'll work itself out," I said when she was still glaring at the Scotsman. Frank was sitting behind us laughing, covering his mouth and humor with his hand. Poorly so, but it was still an attempt.

"I hope you win that fight," she murmured.

"Hey Crowe," a man said. It wasn't Brown so I quickly turned my attention to him. It was the proprietor of the fight. "You're good man; your uncle was right about your talents," he said. Frank and I just grunted in response. Leah smiled as she realized what I would be when I was older. "We've got another fight next week on Wednesday in Olympia; should I put you on the rotation?"

I watched Leah's jaw clench as she realized what my good fighting had done for me. I was on the map, I was establishing myself as someone to be feared. I was going to get more fights because of tonight. She sighed and rested her head against my shoulder. I could feel the slight bob of her head as she nodded. "Yes, sir; I'd appreciate that," I replied, squeezing Leah's thigh just above her knee. "You can speak to Frank about any of the information that you need, sir," I added. The man nodded and turned his attention to Frank. Frank just grunted and nodded at whatever was said and slipped one of his business cards into the man's hand. "You ready, kid?" he asked.

"Yes sir," I replied, pulling my shirt over my head and handing it to Leah. She took it gratefully and stood with me, running her fingers over the large scar that ran from shoulder to shoulder.

"Don't go getting a big head about this," she said, holding up the shirt and smiling at me with that teasing air that I found almost as sexy as when she tried to be. "You're still mine," she growled, the rumble in her throat unmistakably hot.

"I don't want to be anyone else's," I promised her. She smiled and pressed another kiss to my lips.

"If you don't win, the couch will be waiting for you," she promised with that dark look on her face but sparkling eyes.

I walked into the ring, ignoring the man that was in front of me to make sure that I didn't have anything illegal on me. Illegal to fighting, that is. They couldn't give two fucks if I was doing something actually illegal. Tank dropped his mouth guard from his teeth and pulled it out of his mouth, a disgusting smirk on his face. "I bet your bitch will give it up to me once she sees you lose," he swore. I thought I was going to vomit when he began talking about bending her over and all the other shit that he said that he wanted to do to her.

"Gentlemen, tap gloves and wait for the bell," the ref said. I tapped gloves with the man in front of me and for the first time in my life, I couldn't wait for that bell.

I was going to beat the shit out of this man.


	63. Chapter LXII

**Author's Note: I know how much you all love my cliffhangers! I'm sorry but being an MMA fighter, I wanted to make sure that I was doing this justice. Thank you all for sitting through this all with me. Anyone who is wondering about what Nate looks like, I will have actors names for all my main OCs on my profile tonight. I hope that you all enjoy the fight! **

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**Chapter LXII**

I had already been expecting the superman punch when it came. In a normal fight, I would have kept my head down and my fists up until the man was ready to go down. No reason to make a hard thing harder for me. I had never been into fighting because I thought it was fun to beat the shit out of other people. I did it because it was one of the things that I knew I would be good at. But at the moment, I wanted to put this man on the ground and drive my knuckles into his face until he was a pulp that was beyond recognition.

I blocked his punch, but didn't wait for him to land. As he started coming down from his leap, I planted a solid high front kick in the center of his sternum, sending him flying against the cage. The chain links clinked and rattled as he hit and fell to the ground. The Tank shoved himself up from the ground and looked up at me. There was a desperate hatred in their green depths but I just glared at him, daring him to come on back for another beating.

Without a second though, he started towards me. A simple left-right combo to the ribs was easily blocked. But I was faster than he was. As he pulled his hands back, I threw my own double combination and watching him duck down behind his forearms. Rage burned my veins as I thought about the things that he had said about Leah, the degrading, disrespectful shit that he had actually vocalized. He was as good as dead.

I launched another left cross to through him off balance before I threaded my fingers together behind his neck. I preferred boxing to wrestling and the martial arts aspects of MMA, but I was just as good at them as I was at the punching. From his hunched position, his jaw was just begging for my knee to put a dent in the straight line. My knee connected with his jaw but I wasn't finished. I pulled back, but kept my right hand at the back of his head to keep him close to me. A solid leopard's paw to his nose resulted in a satisfying crunch, not enough for a break but damn if it wouldn't hurt in the morning.

I pushed him back towards the cage with two left crosses and an uppercut. His right arm was up by his head while he tried to keep me from hitting his face. His left hand grasped my elbow in a feeble attempt to break my hold on him. Not this time; I had a girl to defend. Thinking of Leah only caused anger to flare up again. I folded my fist into my chest so that my arm stuck out like a chicken wing. I elbowed him straight in the cheek while he tried again to deflect it. I had been working on my elbows for the last few weeks. Might as well put them to good use.

A few more left elbows into his face and a solid punch into his pack to make sure that was going down and I was able to wrap my arms around the fucking asshole who had unknowingly signed his own death warrant. I could feel blood from his mouth hitting my shoulder as it dribbled down his chin, but even knowing there was blood couldn't stop me. I wrapped my right around around his neck, securing the hold with my left arm, joining the two at the wrist. If it was his back that was pressed against me and not his chest, I would have the man unconscious on the ground.

The bell rang out as the signal to let us know that the round was ending. I stepped back, flicking the blood off my fingers and feeling my knuckles chafe in my gloves. Leah came scurrying over my corner with the little fold out stool. Frank followed right behind her, an amused look on his face. "Clearly you're not someone that we should piss off," he chuckled. Leah's hand laid out flat underneath my lips, waiting for my mouth guard. It slipped from my mouth easily, a little blood covered from where the edges had bitten into my gums. "Keep your head straight. Anger is great for fuel but don't let it blind you," he said. I nodded. Frank turned away to get the water that he'd brought with him.

"I don't like this," Leah muttered, her fingers grazing a swollen little cut on my cheek from one of the three punches the Tank had gotten in. "That's a lot of blood."

I laughed and squeezed her hand in my fingers. "The good news is, I'm pretty sure that none of it is mine," I promised her. She snorted and mimicked the words _pretty sure_. Frank handed the water bottle to Leah. Her long fingers wrapped around my chin and tilted it back before she squirted the icy liquid down my throat. I swallowed gratefully and wiped my lips with my wrist. "Thanks, Leah," I muttered.

The ref stopped by to make sure that we were both ready to begin again. I nodded to him and popped the guard in her hand back into my mouth. "Stay smart, Nate," she muttered, pressing her lips against my cheek.

The Tank was pretty well covered in blood. It had dribbled from his face and all the wrestling around had spread it down his chest as well as mine. He winked at Leah when she turned to get out of the cage and the flames came back with new force. The guys just didn't know what to quit, did he? As soon as the bell rang, I charged out of the corner with a side kick to his gut that sent him to the ground.

He must have had enough then. His fists slammed into the side of my face with enough force to split the skin on my cheek. Another well aimed knuckle landed in my eyebrow, the hairs fraying as he pushed that skin apart too. I wrapped my calf around knee and pulled until he hit the ground with a loud thud. I tossed my right elbow into his face while he continued to try to get at me. He punched my nose and sent a good spurt of blood down both of our faces. I threw another elbow and another and another until both of our faces were covered in blood. And then his eyes rolled back in his head and the ref's bare arms were around my bare chest to pull me off the carcass underneath me.

There were some boos and some screams from the audience as I was announced the winner. The proprietor came up and handed me a wad of cash and clapped me on the shoulder. I couldn't remember the last time I had been this sore and it wasn't from surgery. No, no; it was definitely torture. After James had gone a little crazy; that's when I had almost lost myself in the pain. Leah launched herself at me, her bare legs wrapping around my waist. I stumbled a little when her weight hit me but I snaked my right arm around her waist and anchored her to my chest.

Her short hair tickled my neck when she buried her face and kissed me there. I hopped her up and dropped my arm underneath her ass to make sure that she couldn't leave. I dropped her down to the ground again, ignoring the people around me and turning over to Frank. "Thanks, Uncle," I said. I kept my arm around Leah but extended my hand to Frank. He shook it and his lips tweaked in a smile.

"Come and have breakfast with your aunt and I tomorrow morning," he commanded. "Both of you," he added, sending a smile to Leah.

"Will do," I nodded, dragging Leah beside me to my car. "How you doing?" I asked when we were alone.

"I've had better days, but once my heart stops trying to beat out of my chest I think I'll be fine," she said. I laughed and pulled her door open for her. She shook her head and gently trailed the cut that now marred my face. My one eye was starting to swell, the bag underneath my eye turning purple. "You're tired, Nate. I'll drive."

I could see her trying to slip the keys from my hand. No matter how insistently I tried to keep my grip on them, she was still managing to slip them out of my hand. She gently guided me towards the car before sprinting to the other side and starting the car. I twined my fingers with hers as soon as we were on the freeway and headed back home. "New rule," she said put it sounded like she was talking through cotton. "You don't fight if I'm not there."

"Mm-kay," I hummed. I leaned my head against the window, ignoring the blood that I could see in my lap. "Whatever you say." I felt her fingers brush through my hair again, sending shivers of warmth throw my forehead. No matter how hard I tried to fight it, I couldn't manage to keep myself awake. The darkness was clouding in...


	64. Chapter LXIII

**Author's Note: There is no need to worry about Nate. I promise you that he's fine. I don't know how many out there are MMA fighters or have been in any kind of match before but going up against someone that has really pissed you off is draining. Anger is a great fuel and it really helps keep you going, but letting your emotions get so raw is just draining. That's all. No cause to be concerned. Sorry if I didn't make that clear.**

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**Chapter LXIII:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

I couldn't believe that Nate was actually driving away from me. I couldn't believe that he was leaving me to go off and fight. I was kind of hoping that when he saw me sitting there he would decide that he could do something else, that there were other ways to earn a paycheck. But no; he'd gone anyways. Gone and left me to sprint around the reservation in hopes that I could stop thinking about him for even a second._ It's not possible,_ Jake's voice informed me.

How do you do this? How do you watch Ryanne go and fight? She goes and there are times where you know she's going to lose; where _she_ knows she's going to lose, right? So how to do you go and watch her?

_What if she does go up against someone and lose? Think about Nate, Leah. What if he gets up there tonight and he gets the blow to the head and goes down? What if something goes terribly wrong, Leah? And where are you? You're here. He could be sitting in an ER with a brain bleed and you are still running circles around the Reservation. _**_That_**_ is why I go. If for some terrible reason Annie goes to the fight and gets the blow to her temple that brings her down, I want to be there. I want to hold her, to comfort her, to be there for every moment of the ordeal. _

I silently processed his words. He was right, of course. He would always be right about some things. His imprint had been an MMA fighter for years. Even before they were tied in that way, Jake would go and watch her. He wanted to make sure that she was safe. And the only way to do that was to be right there, ringside. _Go on, Leah. It's going to hurt watching it all, but not nearly as bad as it would knowing that he's hurt and you're not there to be with him._

Fuck you, Black! I shouted the words in my head because I knew that he was right, but I was already turning around and phasing out to get into my house. I grabbed my white shorts an the black tank top that I had sitting on the floor. I shouted through the house to make sure that no one else was home before I tied the clothes to my ankle and streaked, butt naked, down to the stairs and into the forest. It wasn't going to be easy to get all the way to Seattle before his fight started. I sprinted, pushing my legs until I was pretty sure I was going to collapse. But Jake was right. I needed to be there for him.

If, by some devastating turn of events he died and the last memory he had of me was saying goodbye to me while I refused to support him... I couldn't forgive myself for that. So I ran, knowing that I was going to be late and praying to every god that I had ever heard of that he was safe and nothing was going to happen to him. He had told me everything about the fight. I think that he was actually hoping that was going to show up. I really hadn't been planning on it until he left. I needed to protect my imprint and that urge drove way all the fear.

I dressed in a dark alley between the strip club and another bar, mussing my hair to make sure that it looked a little nice. I had no clue what I was doing here. Hell I didn't even no where to walk to find Nate. This wasn't like some big, sanctioned fight. He'd explained that much to me. This was a free for all. This was all guys who were hoping to make it to the UFC. So I was just standing there awkwardly, hoping that I could search Nate out amongst the hundreds of people there.

I locked eyes with Frank over the rest of the cloud. I could feel my knees flagging as I was met with the relief of having Nate close by. He elbowed someone next to him and then jerked his head towards me. Green eyes that shined like jade in the sunlight met mine. He wasn't harmed. He didn't even look like he'd broken a sweat. He was fine. He was safe. I watched him with weariness as he worked his way through the crowd and came to stand in front of me. He was gloriously and amazingly unharmed. But as the thought walked through my brain, the realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

I was here...watching him fight. He probably expected some kind of explanation from me but I didn't have one to give him. I gnawed on my lip and looked at him. "Hi," I murmured.

"Hi. I, uh... I thought you weren't going to - - you know you say that you didn't want to -" I know that it probably frustrated most other people that he couldn't get through a sentence to save his life. But honestly, I didn't mind it. I knew what he was trying to say and when it came down to the _really_ important things, Nate always got it out.

"I know," I said when I had gathered enough about his confusion. "I know what I said but I changed my mind." As I said the words, I was reminded of exactly how many times I had changed my mind. When I imprinted on the man standing in front of me, I told myself that I didn't want him. I told myself that I didn't need anyone else in my life. But I changed my mind. I tried to tell myself that all I wanted from him was a sparing partner and a friend but I changed my mind about that too. "People do that, you know?" His reply smile was beautiful. "I just ... I figured if you were going to get the shit beat out of you, I might as well be here."

"You got here pretty quick." There was no question there, but I could feel it lingering in the air.

"I - I ran, okay?" He laughed. He _laughed_ at me and then pulled me into a tight hug. It felt so good to have him there, to breath in the scent of him so close to me. It eased away the end of the agitation in my heart. It felt like only seconds later that he was saying that he was up in just a moment.

I think the hardest thing to do, wolf or not, is watch the man that you love fight. He took more hits than I wanted him to. I knew he had the strength to take the men in front of him down, but he just kept letting them whale on him again and again until I was pretty sure that he couldn't hold his block. And just when I thought he was going to get knocked out, he threw a few solid punches into his tired opponent and brought them to the mat.

It wasn't until after his second fight that I met the asshole that Nate would face in the end of the night. The Tank. "That your girl, Crowe?" he asked while I was hugging Nate with pride. I blushed; I didn't realize that's who I was going to be seen as while I was down here. I tried to bury my face into Nate's shoulder. "She's pretty."

There was a deep rumbling in Nate's chest as he fought to keep control of his emotions. "Back off, Brown. She's taken," he said, the arm around me constricting. The redheaded asshole in front of me actually had to nerve to wink at me. I was actually excited for Nate to fight this man because I knew that he would win.

I don't think that I would have been as excited if I had known how bloody the fight would become. Nate and the Tank weren't even close to neck and neck. Nate had him beat before it ever started, just because of the anger that was radiating off of him. But after some scrapes, some cuts, and more than a few bruises, Nate had the man lying on the ground.

He marched out of the ring and straight to his car, barely stopping to give Frank the time of day. His heart was going strong and he was breathing regularly, but I could see the fatigue that was forcing his shoulders to slump. And he honestly thought that he was going to get to drive. I don't think he actually heard a word I said, but he had agreed when I told him that I had to be there for every single fight. It was only a moment later when Nate's head flopped against the windowpane. His heartbeat slowed and his breathing evened out as he drifted off the sleep. I bit my lip as I looked at him. "Nate," I called, but there was no answer. He really was out, dead to the world. "Hey Dad," I whispered, looking at the dreamcatcher that I'd made for Nate one day. It was something my father had taught me how to do. "Remember when you told me that you wanted me to find the greatest guy that I could ever dream of, better even then Sam?" I waited like I thought he would give me an answer. "I found him, Daddy. And he's everything that you wanted for me."

Everything I wanted for me.


	65. Chapter LXIV

**Author's Note: Okay, here we are ladies and gentlemen! I don't know what's wrong with FanFiction, but it wasn't allowing me to update stories yesterday. I'm so sorry. I literally tried everything. I tried every computer that we had, my phone, I restated my computer, I turned it off for a time; nothing worked. I'm super, super sorry! But it's not exactly my fault. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter LXIV**

There was an insistent wetness on my forehead. For a second, I thought it might be a dog licking my forehead but when it trickled down past my ear I realized it was something different. I jerked awake and then hissed in pain. "Stop that," a distinctively angelic voice commanded. "You'll hurt yourself." Smooth, rounded fingernails brushed the hair away from my forehead and were quickly replaced with a pair of lips that I would know anywhere.

"Bossy, bossy," I managed to get out. A washcloth rubbed against my forehead again but I pushed her hand away and rolled gingerly towards the hand that had been touching me. I came up right against Leah's upper thigh, along the straight muscle before Leah's ass. I lifted my head a little and dropped it down in her lap. "How you doing?" I muttered.

"You're asleep and drooling on my leg. Don't you think I should be asking how _you_ are?" she said, brushing the hair around my ears now. "If you didn't wake up soon, I was going to have to take you to the hospital," she said. I frowned and bushed myself up, ignoring the tight pulling in my face as I grimaced. The sun was shining high in the sky and the clock read eleven forty. I'd been out for almost twelve hours... At least that's what I would guess. I hadn't really been paying attention to the time after Leah had started driving.

I curled my knees up to protect my body from the pain that came with stretching out. Leah lightly tossed one of her long legs over my knees and continued to pet my hair. Her other hand came up to cup my chin and tilt it up. "It really wasn't _that_ bad yesterday," she said. I finally opened my eyes and stared at the hazelnut ones that were staring down at me with love. I pulled one eyebrow up to stare at her. "I'm serious. It really wasn't all that bad. There was a lot of blood, but -"

"I was a little more vicious than normal last night," I interrupted. "There's not normally that much blood," I explained.

"What did he do to you, Nate? I thought you were going to kill him."

"Don't think it didn't cross my mind," I said, reaching up to draw circles on the sensitive flesh of her inner thigh with my index fingers. Almost immediately goosebumps rippled across her skin and she let out a breathy sigh. "He was talking about you."

She snorted. "Liar."

I sighed heavily. "Why can't you ever believe that someone other than me thinks your gorgeous, Leah?"

"I have trouble believe you think I'm beautiful."

"Way to avoid the question, Clearwater." I shoved up and sat to look at her, sucking in a tight breath to try to keep from crying out in pain. "Why don't you think that you're gorgeous, Leah?"

She shrugged, but the defeat in that motion hit me worse than any punch that Tank had landed the night before. "I just... I used to be. But after Sam left me, I stopped caring. And then I phased and my whole body changed. I wasn't a curvy _girl_ anymore. I'm not what guys want to see in a girl anymore. _I'm_ barely a girl anymore," she muttered. I had to give her credit. Leah was always honest about what she was thinking. Even if I didn't like what she had to say, I could always count on her to tell me the truth.

I grabbed hold of Leah and mustered most of the strength left in my body to pull her close. She struggled a little, unsure of what I was going to do next. I couldn't blame her. I was the one person that she was always open with. And the people that she trusted had a habit of leaving her. Sam, her father, Emily, all of them. But I wasn't going anywhere. I wasn't leaving her any time soon. "You're not a girl, Clearwater. You're a twenty-one-year-old woman with a head as thick as a double thick steel wall," I murmured. I traced my fingers down her neck, over across the gentle round edges of her shoulders, gliding over the long lines of her arms and back up the inside. I felt her shiver under my touch as I reached to hollows of her armpits.

My fingers ran along the outer curve created by her breasts, bumping over the ridges of the ribs that were exposed by her sports bra, and finally settled in the waist that was a few inches smaller than her shoulders or hips. "Yeah, there were some definite curves there," I whispered, my face only two centimeters from hers. I narrowed my eyes as I stared into hers. I slid my hands back up her waist until my thumbs were lying on top of the bottom line of her sports bra. She sucked in a deep breath, her chest rising until she was pressed against me. "And you're definitely of the female variety," I added.

The hot air that escaped her lips washed over my face and drowned me in her sweet scent. I breathed in and just let it swirl around in my head for a moment. And then I continued down to her waist again, squeezing the flesh there. She yelped a little and jumped towards me on accident. I slid one hand around her waist until my fingers were lying over her spine. I bumped over each ridge until my pinky collided with something soft. Her spandex shorts.

I wanted to slide my hand underneath the fabric, but she probably wouldn't welcome that at the moment. Her emotions were too prominent, too raw. She felt vulnerable. I needed to be the man that her father wanted for her. And right now, that meant putting down the urge to lie her down on the bed and make her completely aware of just how much I loved her, aware of what she does to me. I slid my hands over the spandex instead, pulling her closer and rubbing my thumbs in circles. "Of course, I think this is my favorite curve though," I whispered, squeezing her ass in my hands. She moaned and collapsed a little in my arms.

"God, Leah, I don't even know how to tell you how beautiful you are." She hadn't responded to me yet. "The Tank was talking about things that he wanted to do to you, things that shouldn't be repeated. I couldn't take it, Leah. You're mine and I couldn't just let him talk about you like that. Hell, I couldn't listen to him talk about _any_ girl like that, but knowing that it was you only made it worse for me." She still didn't make a sound. "You have the most amazing eyes," I said. Those beautiful orbs flashed to my face in disbelief. "Being completely serious here, they're fucking - -" I couldn't figure out what to say about them. It was like being a few feet from the finish line and tripping on your own feet. "Leah, you're beautiful, baby," I whispered. She looked down at the bedspread that I'd let her pick out the last time that we were in the city. God I was whipped. And I wouldn't have it any way else.

If I was going to convince her that she was the most captivatingly gorgeous thing to walk this Earth, I was going to have to get the words out of my mouth. "I'm not good with words, Leah," I whispered. "Let's be honest, I'm shit with words." I was hoping that her lips would tweak or that she would smile or even just a little light in her eyes. I wanted something...anything. But I still got nothing. I thought about all the books that I'd read, all the movies that I watched, all the things that girls loved to hear. I didn't know how to say them like a writer, how to make them make sense. But I was going to give it a try if it killed me.

"Okay, Clearwater, listen here," I said. It was probably a bad start to this whole thing. "The whole reason that I first noticed you is not because of the imprint and God _knows_ it wasn't because of your friendly attitude. I noticed you because you were stunning. You're the most amazing person that I - - the most beautiful... I've never met anyone as gorgeous as you are," I finally managed to mash out. "Your eyes are ridiculous. I can seriously get lost if I'm not paying enough attention to other things. Your lips are so - - they're just lush and the color of them... I guess it's nothing compared to the taste. You're beautiful, Leah. You've got the most amazing body of any girl that I have ever seen. And if it wasn't enough that you are drop dead gorgeous, you have the most determined... The most beautiful- - spirit of anyone I've ever met. You're strong and stoic and everything that I could ever want in a woman. You're the kind of person that I've always dreamt about but never thought could exist. You understand me in ways that no one ever has."

"I love you, Nate," she whispered. I don't think four words had ever meant so much to me. "I just... It's hard to believe that someone as amazing as you wants me, Nate. That's all."

I only had one thing left. I pulled her tighter down into my lap so that she could feel just how much I wanted her. Talking about how gorgeous she was hadn't made my situation any easier for me. "I know that you can feel that, Leah. I know that you can feel how much I want you." I ground myself into her a little harder and felt her trembled again. She let out a quiet moan that sent my pulse racing like it had been a gunshot. "Never doubt that you're beautiful, Leah. Because you are and I'll tell you all that shit again if you keep this up."

I braided my fingers through her hair and pulled her mouth down to me and claimed her in the only way that I could. She chuckled as I pulled away. "I might pretend to doubt just to hear you speak that much," she muttered.

"Too much talking," I breathed in response.


	66. Chapter LXV

**Author's Note: I'm super sorry that there wasn't a chapter up yesterday. My mother is trying to do to much too soon and ended up back in the hospital because of it. I'm really sorry that I couldn't get these up last night. But there will be a double update tonight. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter LXV:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

I was happy in my little bubble, wrapped in Nate's arms and lying against his bare chest. His gentle snores rumbled out of his chest and every so often, his arms would constrict around me a little tighter than they had been. I sighed, content to have my imprint holding me tight. I couldn't help but remember his words from the night before. He was so awkward as he tried to tell me how precious, how beautiful I was. But the words that managed to come out of his mouth, regardless of how gruff and strangled they were, were better than any poetry.

Snarls echoed through the quiet morning. They probably weren't audible to the human ear, but I heard them clear enough. The guys were fighting and the threatening sounds that were sounding through the forests told me that this wasn't just some play fight. Carefully, I wiggled my way out of bed without waking Nate and dashed on silent feet to the kitchen. Grabbing the pad of sticky notes that we used whenever one of us left early and pressed it to the coffee pot, the first place that he would look when he walked in. _Hey Marine, wolf stuff. Had to leave. I'll be home as soon as I can. Love you._ Just like he wasn't a man of many words, he didn't require many either.

I phased as soon as I hit the trees, not even bothering to tie my clothes to my ankle. Seth was sprinting just like I was, trying to get over to the source of the noise and break up the fight. Sam wasn't that big on fighting. We were a Pack, one single unit. We were supposed to be a family. I knew from my own experiences that family fought so I thought it was stupid that we weren't supposed to voice our opinion but Sam was the Alpha.

I got to the tree line just in time to see Jake erupt into his wolf form. He was the rightful Alpha, it didn't take a genius to see that. Emily came out on her front porch, screaming for Sam and begging her not to do something. He turned and growled at her, telling her to back down, to submit. I couldn't imagine myself being the kind of person that would be okay with that. And it was almost impossible to imagine that I _had_ been like that at one point. _What's going on? _Seth demanded in our heads.

_Sam is backing down, _Jake snapped.

Sam snarled in response. Jake seemed unaware of any of us but Sam. And as their fight progressed, the thoughts that we could hear began to fad. Jake and Sam were are war with each other. I could see Sam's plans taking shape in his head, but Jake's thoughts and sights were becoming fuzzier, as if I was looking at them underwater. _You're not ready yet, Jake. We talked about it,_ Sam insister.

_You say that I'm not ready, the spirits say otherwise,_ Jake countered. Jake was right, of course. It was time for him to become the Alpha; time for him to take over and be the man in charge. The spirits were showing that to us. It wasn't like it was things any of us thought about later. On the contrary, I hadn't given a second thought to the fact that Sam had revealed the whole wolf thing to Nate. Nate had taken it so well there was no real reason to be upset about it. But he had done the same thing to Paul, provoking him until he phased in front of Charlotte. He'd told us that it was for the best, so that our imprints knew about the wolves. But thinking back on it now, I think it would've have been better if I'd had the chance to tell Nate on my own. Maybe then we wouldn't have gone through all the pain of him freaking out about the imprint.

I could see Sam lunge towards Jake but Jake side stepped him and launched himself on Sam's back, pressing him belly up into the dirt. Emily was crying, begging the wolves to stop. But there were only two ways this could end: Sam could submit or one of them would end up injured. _Step down,_ Jake commanded. I could hear the Alpha rumbling in his voice, sending shivers of fear down my spine.

_You're not ready,_ Sam managed to spit out but the words were breathless with Jake's large paw pressed against his throat. _If this is how you think you gain dominance, you're not ready._ But Jake was ready; I knew he was.

_You're only saying that because you were the Alpha. You _**_were_**_ an Alpha, Sam. It's time to step down and do all those things that you want to do with Emily._

_You're not ready for this Jacob,_ Sam tried to convey but the words were more or less cut off by the added pressure on his throat. He threw Jacob off of him, jumping to his feet. _I will not bow to you, Jacob. You are not my Alpha._

_And you're not mine,_ Jake replied.

Just like that, any blurred vision that I could see of Jake was gone. It was like someone had turned off the TV. He was no long in tune with the rest of us. He turned and began walking away, ignoring me and Seth and Jared and Quil shouting after him, begging him to come back. He bounded off through the forest until he was out of sight and none of us had a chance of getting to see him again._ This is what he wanted,_ Sam said surely.

This isn't right Sam, I replied. Jake was the rightful Alpha. He wasn't supposed to be a Beta. We all knew this day would come eventually. We _all_ knew. Why are you acting like this?

_He isn't - - He shouldn't be Alpha yet. You see how immature he can be!_ he countered. _He only does things for himself, Leah. He only _**_thinks _**_about himself._

_You're right,_ I said, knowing I was about to throw the final barb. I thought back on all the times that Sam and I had spent together. I watched him flinch as the memories flooded his mind as well. And then I let Nate fill my mind, from the first time that I saw him to when I cried after the newborn battle, when Nate had held me so tenderly and promised me that everything would be okay. _A selfish Alpha would be someone who would tell his ex-girlfriend that she should fight her imprint because, regardless of the fact that he's with her cousin, he can't see her with someone else._

_You know that I still love you Lee-Lee,_ he replied.

The memories that had passed through my brain didn't come with the pain that I normally brought with them. They were nothing but memories now. I didn't love Sam anymore, I knew that. What I wasn't prepared for was the fact that I didn't hate him anymore. He was just Sam Uley, nothing special, nothing painful. Yeah, he may have been the guy that betrayed me... _I guess that's unfortunate for my cousin then,_ I replied.

Everyone stopped in their tracks. I hadn't acknowledged Emily by name since Sam imprinted on her. _I don't hate you, Sam. You couldn't control it. But I don't love you. Not anymore. I have someone who gives me all the things that you never did and I wouldn't trade him for anything. And the last thing that I would want for him, for Emily, or for anyone is being in love with a man that is only giving half of himself. _He flinched and then growled at me. _I don't hate you Sam. I feel bad for you. I'm moving on with my life and you're stuck remembering me and the things that we had instead of moving on with the beautiful girl sitting on your porch._

_Back the fuck down, Leah; you're entering dangerous territory,_ he commanded. I could feel the fist around my lungs, tightening to cut off my air supply.

_No, Sam,_ I said, standing up tall instead of cowering down. _I won't listen to you any longer. You're not my Alpha. I'll stick by the man that is _**_supposed _**_to be Alpha. _I turned away to watch all my brothers stare at me. I walked away but stopped after only a few feet. _Come to your senses, Sam. Before you lose all the people that are important to you._

I trotted off them to find Jake, his vision in my head becoming clearer with every passing moment. Finally, I could see him staring at his house, wondering if he could survive without a Pack in his head. _Hey._

_Leah?_

_Who else would it be?_ He chuckled, relieved to hear me in his head. _I heard you fighting with Sam. Guess it's just you and me a little while._

_A little while? The guys won't want to choose between us, Leah. Why are _**_you_**_ here?_

I could tell him that Ryanne was my best friend, that I had faith in him as an Alpha. I could tell him that I pitied Sam for being stuck in the past. Or I could lie._ Look, I love Nate, but having Sam in my head everyday hasn't exactly been easy for me. Okay? So I figure that you and I can just do our own thing. I know Sam, he'll come to his sense._ He had to. There was only so much time that our Pack could spend divided like this.

_Because just me and Leah was going to drive me crazy._ It was supposed to be a private thought, but with so few voice in our heads, I couldn't help but hear it.

_Hey!_


	67. Chapter LXVI

**Author's Note: I know I promised two chapters yesterday, but life got ahead of me. Super ridiculously sorry! Enjoy!**

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**Chapter LXVI**

I really hated waking up in bed alone. I was curled on my side, my arms holding a pillow tight to my chest. A pillow? Where the fuck was Leah? "Clearwater?" I called out quietly. She usually woke up before me, but she was normally in bed still, sitting there pretending to sleep. There was no response. "Leah?" I rolled out of bed, pushing to large duvet that she had picked out to the foot of the bed. I rubbed a tired hand over my face and headed instinctively for the sweet smell of coffee. A bright yellow sticky note caught my eye. _Hey Marine, wolf stuff. Had to leave. I'll be home as soon as I can. Love you._ Well that would explain where she was.

I looked around the small apartment, thinking about how quickly I could get everything packed and out of the house. I had started discreetly getting Leah's opinions about the house. Okay, I wasn't _that_ discreet. I had just started small, telling her that I wanted to get better bedding for the bed and letting her pick it out with me. Same with the kitchen, the new couches, the chairs that I had just recently ordered. I wanted the new house to feel like something that she would want, that she would pick out, not just what I thought she might like. And all that planning and scheming was starting to drive me crazy.

Her wolf stuff tended to take most of the day, which meant that I would be alone most of the morning. The walls of the house were all up, the last of the shingles for the slanted roof went up a couple of hours ago. I knew what I was doing with the outside, thanks to Leah's childhood artwork. But what wasn't in that damn picture were the colors that she wanted the kitchen, the living room, the bedrooms, the bathrooms. I was a Marine...not an interior designer.

Which meant that this coveted secret was about to be shared with two of the biggest mouthed people that I had ever met. I sighed out loud. "Might as well shower," I said out loud. I really didn't want to have to spend the afternoon with them. But they were going to give the best insight. Which was why I shortly found myself in my Jeep, driving the short distance to the Clearwater house. I had given up on knocking before I entered this house. It was just as much home to me as my home in Montana ever was. "Ma? Sue?"

"On the patio!" Sue called back. Sue, of course, knew that I was going to start the house. I just don't think that she knew that I was starting right away. Ma had no clue that I was building a house. "Hi, sweetheart. How are you?" she asked as I walked through the house to find them.

"Good; how are you?" They both gave their generic responses followed by some polite conversation about the weather and the things that had gone on in the past few days. We really hadn't seen each other very much in the last couple of days. I was too busy training and then there was the fight. Both ladies hadn't really seen me yet, though. When I stepped through the back door and into the patio area, both of them turned to look at me.

"Oh my Lord, what happened to you?" Sue demanded. She shoved herself out of her chair and marched towards the door with a purpose. Her hand gripped my chin in a way that was so reminiscent of Leah that I almost smiled. "What were you doing? What happened?"

"It was just an MMA fight, don't worry about it," I said, pulling away from her gently. "Leah was there," I said when I saw the look on her face. That seemed to pacify her for the moment. "This isn't what I'm here about," I said. "I need some help."

"What's up?" Ma asked.

I put the manilla folder down on the patio table. Sue slipped it across the table to her and my mother. She opened it wide and spread all the papers and pictures that were there out for view. I saw the smile that was on Sue's face as she came across the drawing of Leah's dream house from when she was a little kid. "How can we help?" she asked. I smiled and bit my lip, knowing that I was finally doing the things that Harry had wanted me to do.

"What is all of this?" Ma asked then.

"I'm building a house," I explained. "Come on. I'll take you over there." Sue gathered the papers and threw them all in the folder and jumped up, marching with determination towards my car.

"Why are you building a house?" Mom asked as we started the drive.

"Well, someone gave me a ring for my girl," I said, shooting her a look in the rearview mirror. "And someone else gave me some property that they wanted a house built on." Ma's mind started putting the pieces together and a smile blossomed on her face too. "So I'm just trying to get everything together for Leah. You know, before we decide to tie the knot."

Sue and my mother shouted out with joy, sounding exactly like two women should. You would think they had been waiting to hear those words for a good long while. I laughed and pulled up in the newly paved driveway. "Here we are," I said, puling the gear into park. I got out and held each door open for the two mothers in my life. With each lady on my arm, I walked them towards the house, Leah's drawing in my hand.

"It's not finished," I muttered. I still needed to do the stonework around the porch stairs and the pillars that Quil had spent hours getting done. But the covering on the front portion was down, far enough forward that we would be able to sit out there whether it was raining or not. "But it's really coming along." For the few weeks that we had been working on, I really felt like we were making great progress. Hopefully the wolf stuff going on wouldn't keep the guys from helping me with the rest of the house. Hopefully.

I looked down to see Sue with tears in her eyes. "It's beautiful, Nate. Truly and utterly beautiful," she muttered. I smiled down on her and held open the door for them. The inside wasn't nearly as far along as the outside, but you could still picture where everything was going to be.

"Paul's going to come down here and get the electricity going," I said. "And Jake's coming up with Billy to work on the plumbing." I really wished the old man could come out more; he was good about keeping the guys on task and helping out with a little bit of everything that was going on around the place. "But that's not what I need you all here," I added.

"And why are we here?" Sue asked then.

"I've been trying to get her to tell me what she wants in the house without telling her that I'm _building_ a house for us," I explained. "But there's only so much I can do. I'm going to take care of the bedroom, but I need help with the rest of the house. And I thought who could be better than our mamas," I explained.

I thought it was almost ironic that I was so close to Sue Clearwater. She really was like another mother for me. I had always gotten along with Allie's mom, but not like what I feel about Sue Clearwater. She was my person that I could always come to, talk to, treat like another member of my family. "Let's start in the kitchen," Ma said, rubbing her hands together like a maniacal villain. What had I just put myself in the middle of?

I showed them to the kitchen. I had seen enough of Leah in the kitchen to know that she would want something big and warm and homey. I had already set the paint swatches on the walls so that I would know what color everything was supposed to be. Most of them were things that I thought Leah would like. For example, I knew that she really loved cream, which was why I had decided to put the color in the main rooms of the house.

What I still had to figure out was how I was going to bring color to the rooms. The new couch was a bright yellow with burgundy and orange through pillows. And I had ordered the matching love seat, although Leah didn't know that. The entry area had two bright blue sitting chairs with some green pillows that I'd seen her looking at in a store that we went in one time. But I hadn't figured out what I was doing for the kitchen. I said as much. "So you have orange and yellow in one room and blue and green in the other?" Sue said. I nodded. "Leah has always talked about wanting an open fridge," she said. How was that supposed to help me.

"Oh, Sue, what a lovely idea! Nathan, you could create a shelved pantry and the inside wall of the shelves a color," Ma explained. Well that wouldn't look half bad.

"And if you're doing such bold colors in the other rooms, maybe some lavender and green," Sue chimed in. I just laughed at them as they continued to talk about what they wanted to do.

"How about I just let you two come back when I'm ready to start the painting?" I suggested. That seemed to get them going. I heard the word IKEA tossed in there somewhere and cringed a little as I heard them planning my house out for me.

What demon had I set free in my new house?


	68. Chapter LXVII

**Author's Note: All other chapters tonight will be late! FanFiction had me locked out of my account for a little while today. Super super sorry; not quite sure what happened. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter LXVII**

As I had assumed, Leah's wolf stuff took her the majority of the day. I finished showing our mothers the house and dropped them back off at the Clearwater house...still talking about what they wanted to do to my home and what they felt they should contribute. It hadn't mattered that I had told them that I didn't want help. This was my gift to Leah, my way to show her how much I loved her. They just kept talking about buying us the newest stove, getting us the newest things for the kitchen. After leaving them to their conversations, I drove back to the property and continued working on the inside of the house, trying to get as much finished as I could while the sun was still burning in the sky.

But now I sat on the bright yellow couch, waiting for Leah to come stumbling in the door and telling me how tired she was, what a dick Sam was, the list could go on and on. And I loved listening to every moment of it. I plated her dinner and stuck it in the microwave so that it would be warm when she got home and sat myself down to eat. "You can't eat on my couch!" she screeched. "It is yellow, Nathan Crowe. _Yellow!_"

"I know my colors, Leah," I laughed.

"Good, then you understand that we cannot just eat greasy food on a yellow couch. You will drip it will stain - - And a couch is not just something that we can throw in the wash!" she shouted at me.

"There's some dinner in the kitchen for you," I said simply. She marched off to get her food, but she was still talking to me.

"You can't just eat this food on my couch. I'm serious, Nate," she said. "That burger is dripping grease out the back and it's going to get on my sofa!"

"You said it was the grease that made my burgers so good," I said around a mouthful of food.

"I didn't say your food wasn't good. I said that I didn't want it on the yellow," she explained, sinking down on the ground between my knees. "At least drip on my hair," she commanded. I laughed and dipped my fingers in the glass of water beside me, flicking it onto her hair. "I was kidding!" she screamed, running her hands over her cropped hair. She'd gotten it cut down again since she'd been out and about.

"So was I," I said, leaning down and showing her the water on my fingers. "I try not to be completely mean to you," I added. She repeated the sentence in a mocking tone. "How was your day?" I asked politely.

She gulped down her mouthful of food and I prepared myself for the monologue that was about to come. "Jake decided that it was time for him to step up and become Alpha," she began. I gave her a quizzical look. "Jake is the one that's supposed to be our chief and our Alpha. Sam was the first to phase because he was the oldest. We can't phase until we reach maturity and I think that it's more mental than physical. Which doesn't really explain why Embry and Paul were allowed to phase at all, but I digress." I chuckled a little at her. "Jake didn't want to be the Alpha because he didn't think that he was ready. But he decided today that he wanted to be Alpha."

"That's a good thing, I guess," I said.

"You would think that, but Sam threw a fit about it today. That's why I had to leave. Sam and Jake got in a fight this morning about who should be Alpha. Obviously it should be Jake because that's who he's _meant_ to be. But Sam was shouting at him and then they go in a fight," she explained. She went on to go into more detail and even though I know it's not what I'm supposed to do, I stopped listening because there comes a point where Leah's talking just to talk. "Oh and I almost forget to tell you about my epiphany!" she shouted suddenly. I leaned around her to put my plate down, taking extra time to kiss her neck when I pulled back.

"What did you learn today?" I asked placatingly. She shivered a little.

"I don't hate Sam anymore," she said exuberantly.

A million scenarios where Leah chose to leave me had gone through my head a million different times. But her going back to Sam had never been one of them. I had always told myself that I would be man enough to step down, to give her what she needed. But I wasn't so sure that I could do that when it was Sam that we were talking about. Instead of saying any of the million things that were going through my mind, however, I just nodded. "What, uh, what changed?" I muttered, looking down at her hair.

"I spent so much of my energy hating him, wishing for something that he could never be. But I had to choose today between Jake and Sam. I told myself that I didn't need to stay with Sam because Jake was the rightful Alpha, but there has always been this little part of my brain that said that I should do anything and everything to hurt Sam. And I didn't feel that way today. I chose to be with Jake because he is the rightful Alpha. He's the one that we're all supposed to follow," she explained.

"What a second... You don't love Sam?" I asked. I was amazed that I didn't stutter or choke on my words.

Leah turned around and stared at me. "Of course I don't love Sam. I love you, Marine," she said.

"But you don't... You don't hate him anymore either?"

"He's not worth that much of my energy," she whispered. She braced her hands on each of my knees and pushed upwards until her nose bumped mine and her lips were gently pressed against mine. "The only person that I feel _that_ strongly about is you," she muttered before she kissed me deeply.

I fitted my hands to her waist and hauled her up onto my lap, letting her knees come to either side of my hips. Her hands slid up my chest until they got to the joint of my neck and shoulder. Her fingers were digging a little at the sensitive skin on my neck. I jumped and groaned as my ribs protested. Leah moaned in her own sad way and pulled away from my kiss. "Is there anyway that we can wait long enough between fights for you to heal?" she begged. Her fingers traced the little line that marred my cheek at the moment. "You're no fun to play with when you're hurt," she muttered.

I laughed and pulled her mouth back down to me and let her linger there. The hand that was on my face wrapped its way to my hair and pulled lightly at the strands. She nipped my lip lightly and pressed herself closer. She pulled back suddenly. "What?" I asked.

"Were you around... paint today?" she asked, leaning over to sniff my shirt again. We were only staining the outside of the house. Damn the wolf nose on this girl.

"Yeah; I'm uh," I made a valiant effort not to lie to Leah. It had pissed her off the one time that I had done it on purpose. "Paul was building that extension on his house, remember?" She nodded, her eyes still narrowed like she suspected something of me. "He noticed a few spots that he wasn't happy with and I told him I'd come and take care of them for Charlie." That wasn't a lie. I had promised Paul that I would come and touch up their crown molding in the next few days.

"You're way too nice," she muttered. "I guess it's a good thing you got that done today."

My pulse leapt. "Why? What's going on?"

"We're two Packs now. Seth joined Jake but I don't think that the other guys will. It's hard for them to pick sides, you know? Sam could actually hurt them," she explained. "I can't let you go down there without me there."

"You think Sam will do anything?" I couldn't imagine the man hurting someone's imprint. He could appreciate how important an imprint was to a wolf. And beyond that, he kept claiming to love Leah. He wouldn't do anything to hurt her. Well... anything more to hurt her.

"I just don't know," she explained. "And I don't want to risk you getting hurt by anything. Promise me that you'll wait before you have to go with any of the guys for a while." I couldn't. They were supposed to help me with the house. I couldn't rely on Seth and Jake to finish this house for me. It wasn't that it was super large or extravagant. But it was a house; three people couldn't build a _house_. "Nate, please. I'm just trying to keep you safe."

"Fine," I said quietly. "I promise." How the fuck was I supposed to finish the house now?


	69. Chapter LXVIII

Chapter LXVIII

No Pack to help me out. I had Leah, who couldn't know about the house for obvious reasons, Jake, who was trying to help his imprint through some stuff, and Seth, who had to be taught everything and watched before you could actually let the kid do anything. In other words: I had nothing. Leah was starting to spend more and more time at the gym, working out on her own since I was so busy training for fights. She'd gone to my next fight, but I wasn't nearly as beat up. She didn't seem nearly as scared at the second fight. And she definitely knew how to dress like a fighter's girl

Thanks to Jake, though, I managed to escape her for the majority of the afternoon. There was too much left to do on the house and I was the only one left to get it done. I was thankful that I had told Sue and Ma about the house because whenever she started wondering where I was, one of the parents claimed that I was working on a project over at the Clearwater house. And while that got Leah off my back for a few hours, it only created more work for me. I was stuck having to fix one house, distract my girl, and build her house without letting her know that anything was going on.

So I had gotten into a bad habit of sleeping in the Jeep while parked on the property for an hour and a half a day. And today was no different than the others. At least, it wasn't until Leah's ringtone sounded on my phone. I jumped awake, kicking the dash and the center compartment as I reached out to grab the device. "Hey babe; everything good?" I asked.

"Fine; I was just wondering where you were." I quickly searched around the car for something that I could tell her, something that would make her believe that I wasn't lying. My gaze roamed the car until I caught an envelope with chicken scratch on the front of it. Yes; You Get Two. I frowned a little. I recognized that hand writing. Pops.

"I, uh - I found something from my dad," I whispered, holding the envelope in front of me.

"Let me know if you need anything Marine," she replied. "I'm going to do some laundry." That was Leah. She never pushed me to talk about him, to talk about my dad. Everything else, she would drag out of me like I was a demon that needed to go back to hell. But not about him. "Love you." She hung up without waiting for me to say the words back but I was a little too distracted. I shoved open the seal and ripped the letter from its bounds.

Nathan,

I hope you know that these letters aren't easy to right. I've gone over and over what I want you to know, what I think I should say to you. You and Scott are so different and if you ever tell him that you got two letters, I will deny every single word of it. I guess I won't really be around to deny it. I said all the things that a father is supposed to say to his sons when he goes in the other letter, but there are some things that I want to say to you. Things that I don't think your mother needs to read.

If you're reading this, then you're in Forks with your aunt and uncle. I hope that you are. It's a good place for you, Nate. Even when you were a kid you like it there. Call it a gut instinct from a father. I know that's the place that you should end up. There are things that are waiting for you there. I can feel them.

I know that we're a military family, that I should be telling you to join the Marine Corps and think of nothing else. But that's not what I want for you, Nathan. I want you to be happy. Grow old with someone that's going to love you. Have fat babies and give your mother everything that she's ever dreamed of. I'm trusting you to take care of me for her. There are a lot of things that your brother is really good at, but he's still growing up, still learning how to be the man that you've become. So while he's making his mistakes and figuring his shit out, you've got to take care of your mother for me.

Letters are overrated, if you ask me. There's so many things that I had left to tell you, to teach you. But if you're reading this, then I'm probably not here to teach you. Take care of your mother, watch after your brother. And don't throw your life away on someone that you think you should be with. Just listen to yourself. That's how I ended up with your mother and Frank ended up with Jeanie. It's served us all well in the past.

I'm counting on you son.

Pops

I swallowed hard and cleared my throat, feeling it constrict just a little. I left the letter on the front seat and then got out of the car, marching towards the house. I stopped in front of the cement that needed to be done, slathered on the vertical portions of the steps that needed to be stoned. So I started, biting my lip as I kept going.

I hadn't been expecting the letter. I never thought that I was going to see something from my father that I didn't already have. It kind of rattled me, to be honest. In the sense that it was a reminder that he wasn't there. I kept trying to get the cement to lie flat without bubbles on the stair, but it wasn't working. After forty minutes on the same damn, step, I finished and decided to call it a night. At least at the house. I drove to the beach and parked, sprinting up the trail to the cliff. Amazing how the place had become my thinking place too.

With the letter in my hands, I sank down in the wet grass and looked over it again. He would have liked Leah, would have loved her, actually. She was so strong, so outspoke. Having my mother there to meet her was great, but as I stared at the letter I was reminded that Dad would never get to meet her. And the worst part was, he knew that she was coming. He didn't know how, but he'd said himself that Forks was waiting for me. And that I didn't need to settle for anything. He knew that one day, I was going to meet someone that was perfect for me. And he would never get to fucking meet her.

I crumbled the letter in my fist and lobbed it, hoping that it would disappear along with the stupid fucking emotions that were swirling in my head. I was exhausted. For a week, I had been building a house, repairing a house, and trying to keep Leah from getting suspicious on my own. This was the last fucking thing that I needed.

A caramel colored hand snagged the letter from the air. She sank down beside me but didn't touch me. Which sucked ass because I really needed her to just grab my hand or something. She unfolded the letter and looked over at me, silently asking permission to read it. "Go ahead. It's not going to change anything," I snarled. Luckily she didn't take offense. She was silent as she read the letter. I watched her eyes scan the words, pausing to decipher some of the things that weren't as easy to understand if you hadn't grown up with it.

"He would have been proud of you," she whispered, delicately folding the paper again, but keeping it underneath her leg. I didn't say anything, just stared at the water and the waves. "Are you going to say anything?" I looked over at her. "If you're not, I just want to know."

"He should be here," I finally said. "He should have been here to help me when I got home." She sighed.

"It never gets any easier, does it?" she finally said. "There are still days where I wake up and think that he's going to be waiting for me downstairs." I saw the pain in her eyes, the emotion that I don't think she showed to anyone else. That's what we were for each other. Besides the love that we have for one another, we were also the other's confidant. "He wrote me a letter, but that's the only thing that I have left of him, you know?"

Didn't I? I hadn't thought I was ever going to hear another word from my father. And as much as it hurt to see that he wasn't here to meet the girl of my dreams, getting to see him say that he was proud of me, getting to see more of his words for the first time in years was amazing. "I have something for you," I finally whispered. Leah looked up at me.

"I came here to comfort you, and you have something for me?" she asked. I nodded, reaching into my wallet and grabbing the letter from her father. I switched her paper for paper, folding up the new letter and putting it behind the other one that I had for him. "What is this?" she demanded, her eyebrows falling as she saw the handwriting.

"Seth gave that to me a while back," I began. "You were right; it never gets easier when they're not around. My problem was just the reminder that he's not here anymore." She nodded. "But every once in a while, Leah, they find a way to make sure we know they're still around." I tapped the paper. "Come and see me when you finish." I whispered.

That's what it had to be from now on. It wasn't just the memory of his loss that had to haunt me. It was the fact that they'd found a way to make sure that we all knew they were still there.


	70. Chapter LXIX

**Author's Note: I know that it's late. The second chapter will be up after midnight, but it will be up. I'm really sorry, guys. I'm going to work on everything so that I can be more consistent with my updates. I'm really sorry everyone. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter LXIX**

Leah said that a few of the other guys had joined Jake's pack. Thank God! With the help of Embry and Jared, I was back on schedule for getting everything together for the house. I don't know where I would be without them. But today... Today something was off. The guys seemed normal, but Seth seemed like he wanted to hurt everyone around him. Which was strange for him. He was normally such a happy, bubbly kid. And it was infectious. He was the person that could make you smile no matter how much you hated what was going on. "Just leave him alone," Embry warned me.

That was the funny thing about me. I hated when people wanted to talk to me when I was in a bad mood, but I wasn't one who was willing to let someone else just slide. People needed the help and I was always willing to give it. It was accepting it that I had problems with. "You good?" I said when I caught him sealing some of the tiling in the bathroom. He snorted in response. That wasn't what I thought was going to come from the kid. "Dude, what's your problem?"

"None of your business," he snapped back.

"It's always my business, Seth. I'm trying to help you," I said.

"You don't give a fuck about me!" he snarled. "You only act this way with me because your with Leah. It's cool, I get it."

"Dude, if I didn't care about you, I wouldn't ask," I promised him. "Come on, man. Talk to me."

"You're real good at that, aren't you? Isn't that why you ended up in Forks? You talked to your brother before you decided to leave? You told him that he was an asshole and that you couldn't believe that he'd done those things to you? Oh wait! No, you didn't. You didn't say shit to anyone and you walked away," Seth snapped.

My first thought was that I should pummel him until he realized that he didn't know anything about what he was saying. But my second thought was of James...on my dad's birthday. When I had to relive the fact that he was never going to be there for another birthday cake with his family. And I had lashed out at James on the base. But Sue had told me that Harry's birthday was long passed. We would have to deal with this next year. So what were we having to deal with right now? "I'll be at the apartment for the rest of the night," I told him. "Guys, we're good for the day," I added.

Jared looked at me with a little confusion but he didn't argue. He wanted to go and see his imprint too. There wasn't really much we could to lock the house so I just walked away and went to find Leah. If Seth was acting hurt over something and I could recognize it as missing a parent, then Leah was going to have to deal with it too. I jumped in the Jeep and drove to the apartment, but she wasn't there. So I sped off to the Clearwater house but she wasn't there either. Ma was sitting in the house, though.

"Do you know what's going on?" I asked.

She sighed. "It's their anniversary," she whispered, pushing the framed picture that was sitting on the kitchen table towards me. I took it in hand, looking a the large 1980's hair and shoulder pad dress. But Leah looked so much like her mother, it was like staring at a picture of the girl that I loved. "How'd you know there was something wrong? Have you seen Leah?"

"No, but I was talking with Seth and noticed that there was something off. Have _you_ seen Leah?" She shook her head. "She's not here, not at my place. Maybe the gym?"

"I don't think the gym would be the place that would help her mourn her father," Ma said.

"The cliff!" I practically screamed. "I'll talk to you later," I called over my shoulder as I started sprinting towards the door. I jogged quickly up the path, through the forest, and to the cliff's edge.

Sure enough, Leah was sitting in the grass, her feet hanging over the side. Why hadn't I thought of coming here first? It was her place with her father. It was then I noticed that she had a few things clutched in her hand. "Hey Clearwater," I said, slowing to a walk. I marched over to her and plopped down beside her. But she didn't look at me, didn't even acknowledge that I was there. "I heard," I whispered after nearly ten minutes of silence.

"So you thought you'd come and find me, right? Because I need my big ol' Marine here to comfort me," she muttered distastefully. At least Seth just yelled at me. I wasn't sure if I could handle many more of those quiet little daggers. "Because that's why the spirits put us together, huh? You were going to understand what it's like to lose your father and be able to help me through it." She pushed up to her feet and glared down at me. "But you don't fucking know what it feels like to be responsible for his death! I killed him, Nate."

"You didn't kill him, Leah," I promised her.

"I did," she shouted but she was heartbroken. I could hear her voice cracking as she spoke. "I never told him that I loved him that day. Do you know what it feels like to know that you were responsible for it? I phased, I turned into a wolf. That's why he was out with the other hunters. That's how Victoria got to him. Your father was killed trying to save people. Mine died because his daughter was," her voice began to shake and tears started to well up in her eyes, "a fucking freak of nature." She was crying now, her voice trembling with the emotions in her. "I killed him. I'm the one to blame. He's dead because of me."

I couldn't take it anymore. I stood too and walked towards her. She backed away but the slowness of her movements told me that she didn't really want me to leave her alone. She was a fucking wolf, for Christ's sake. She could leave me if she really wanted to. "I don't want your pity!" she screamed. I wrapped my arms around her waist and tried to pull her tight against my chest. Her fists came up to my shoulders. She began wailing on, her hands probably leaving bruises on my chest. But her tears didn't stop. "I don't want your comfort; I don't want your pity," she sobbed.

I held fast though, keeping her close until the hands that were beating me suddenly wrapped themselves around my t-shirt fabric. She laid her head in my chest and cried then, her chest heaving, her breath shaking, her body trembling. I didn't hush her or tell her that she should stop crying. That wasn't what she needed. No; she needed to get this out. And I had to do what her father wanted me to do. I had to hold on, despite the fact that my chest was throbbing, and wait until she was finished. I had never seen her cry as hard as she was right now. And I had thought it was bad when Jake had been injured and she felt guilty.

"I'm s-s-s-s," she tried. I stroked her hair and pulled her impossibly closer, feeling the wetness of her tears forcing my shirt to cling to my chest. "I didn't mean to hurt you," she said through some more tears. "I just -"

"I'm fine, Leah," I whispered. She took in a tremulous breath, her body still shaking. I bent down to wrap her in my arms and settled her against my chest, taking the regular place on the cliff. I tucked her head into the spot between my neck and my shoulder. I watched the sun shine on the ocean, felt the heat warming my skin.

"I miss him," she finally said. "I killed him, Nate. He would still be here if I hadn't phased."

"We don't always know why things happen, Clearwater. But I know that it's not your fault he died," I muttered.

"It is, Nate! I phased. I'm the freak. Is there another girl in the Pack? No! It's just me," she snapped, but she didn't move herself out of my arms.

"I know the legends, Leah. Becoming a Spirit Warrior was for the strongest descendant of Taha Aki. You're not a freak; you're the strongest warrior of them all. You're the most unique," I said, amazed that I managed to get it all out. "And your father died how he wanted to. He went out there to protect his kids Leah."

"I miss him, Nate," she whispered.

"I know," I replied, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I know Clearwater." Her tears started again but I just let it go. I just kept holding her tight and rocking back and forth, watching the sun on the water and the waves on the shore. "I know."


	71. Chapter LXX

**Author's Note: I know that we're going slow here, but the big moments are coming. If anyone is interested in seeing a more mature chapter, please review or PM and let me know. NO CHAPTERS TOMORROW. Father's Day is a little hectic around my family I hope you all enjoy! Much love and thanks.**

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**Chapter LXX**

The bruises bloomed over my chest in the next few days and made working on the house difficult. But the good news was that I was getting ready to paint. Now the problem was keeping clean clothes in my car without Leah getting suspicious. I kept paint worthy clothes in the house and changed when I got there. I didn't want Leah to know that I was working on something big. Not to mention the ring. I knew that it was going to be too small for Leah; my mother was so much tinier than her. But I didn't know how to discreetly go about asking her ring size. Then again, she was a wolf. Maybe it would be best to get a chain for the ring so that she would wear it while she was human or wolf.

The opportunity to find out her ring size, however, presented itself a few days later. Leah was snuggled in my arms, lying against my chest while we watched _Fear Factor_. She sighed sadly. "My mother just gave me a ring of my grandmother's today," she whispered. My heart stopped beating. I had never thought that Sue would try to give Leah a ring. My brain said that she would give the ring to me because I was the only who was supposed to propose, but I was still worried that my plans might have been completely derailed. I didn't comment. I just nodded and rubbed my hand up and down her arm again. "It was like a size six. I'm going to have to get it sized. Mom said she thought that it would fit. I mean, who in their right mind would think that a girl my size would wear a size _six_."

"I don't know anything about rings, Clearwater," I replied, trying to keep my heartbeat steady and act like I wasn't the least bit interested in the ring sizing that she was talking about.

"I wear a size eight and a half. That's almost _three _whole sizes too large. And my mother thought that a size six would fit my sausage finger," she laughed. I let the other comment slide and gathered her close. Now we had an exact size. Looks like things were going to work out in my favor just for once in my life. "Oh! I almost forgot!" She sat completely upright. I balked a little as she moved but looked at her again. "Jake's Alpha."

"I know, Leah. You told me the other day, remember?" I told her.

"No, no; I mean that Jake is Alpha over the _whole_ Pack."

"When did that happen?" I asked her.

"Today; I can't believe that I forgot to tell you," she muttered. I just smiled. "Sam came after Jake and, oh my gosh I wish you could've been there. Jake went to go talk to him about stepping down. The Volturi are coming after Ryanne now."

"The who?"

"The Volturi. Did I tell you about them?" I shook my head. Danger signs were flashing through my brain. Things coming after people were never a good sign. "They're like the royal family of leeches. I guess when Ryanne went to Italy to get her sister's fuck leech back, the Volturi met her. Humans aren't supposed to know about them. There's a really long story there, but basically the seer Cullen showed the mind reader on the Volturi side Rye's future. But the little witch thing couldn't see the wolves so the Italian parasites assumed the she was going to die. Somehow, I'm not really sure how, they found out she's still alive. So now they're coming after her." I just nodded, not really understanding everything that she was saying but following the conversation anyways.

"Okay so Jake wanted to step down," I said now that I had some background here. Volturi bad. Coming after Ryanne. Not much left to understand.

"So, Jake went to step down because he wanted to make sure that Ryanne was going to be protected but then Sam charged him. The Alpha in Jake couldn't handle it and then there was the fight," she explained. "But the short story is that Jake is Alpha and Sam stepped down _and_ I'm Beta."

"You're... Beta?" I was slightly confused but whatever.

"Yeah; basically I'm second in command." She kept talking about things and I'm pretty sure that she said something about Jake standing up for her to Sam tonight, but the only thing that I heard was that the Pack was back together. I could have all of the guys helping me out again. "We still have to figure out what we're doing about Renesmee and Bella and all that though."

"Ren- - Who?" I had heard of Bella before but I had no idea who Renesmee was.

"Bella's daughter. Didn't I tell you about that?" I shook my head. "Good Lord, we haven't talked in ages." She began explaining about Renesmee, who was some kind of hybrid something or another. Apparently she was the whole reason that the Packs split in the first place was because Jake didn't think it was right to kill Bella while she was still human. The Volturi were actually coming after Renesmee and found out, in the process, that Ryanne was still alive.

After what seemed like ages, Leah had finished talking about her day, catching me up on the wolf things that had been going on. She yawned a little and burrowed herself deeper in my embrace. It was kind of funny how much I enjoyed listening to her talk. Even the pointless things that had happened, like the salad dressing that she'd messed up when she was cooking with her mother. I liked hearing about them all, every last little detail of her life. But now she was starting to fall asleep, her arms wrapped tight around my waist. "Come on, chatty," I said, lifting her high in my arms and walking towards the bedroom.

"I was just telling you about my day," she grumbled. "You could've told me to shut the fuck up." I snorted a breathy laugh and laid her down in bed. "I thought you were listening."

I leaned down and kissed her, loving the feel of her lips between mine. "I was listening and I didn't _want_ you to shut up," I whispered. I climbed over her and settled myself beside her. "Go to sleep Leah." I waited until I could hear her snoring a little after about fifteen minutes of silence. "What are you doing to me Leah Clearwater?" I asked her. She snored and grumbled and muttered something or another. I was instantly worried that I had woken her up but she was still out. She rubbed her cheek against my chest like a kitten, her smooth skin sliding over the scars on my skin.

"What am I going to do with you?" I asked her. But now that the house was going well and I had the guys to help me get it finished again, I had an answer. I was going to marry her. Unwelcome mental images flooded through my brain. I could see Leah sitting in my lap on the front porch of her dream house. I could see our children running around the front yard that I was finishing. I could see us hosting barbecue's in the backyard, Sue and Ma fussing over their grandchildren who would be playing in the treehouse. I could see it all and I wanted it more than anything.

I wasn't the war hardened Marine that I had been when I walked off the airplane all those months ago. That man was gone... And I didn't need to have him back. I had Leah here; she would protect me. And I didn't mean physically or from all the supernatural shit that was always surrounding my life now. She could protect me from the pain and the fear and the nightmares. She wouldn't leave me. "I love you, Clearwater," I whispered. Fuck I was going soft.

The next morning I thought I might die from the sight in front of me. Leah was sitting up, straddling my hips, her thumbs stroking up and along my jaw line. "Good morning," she whispered in a sing song voice. "It's time to wake up." I rolled my head around, looking at the clock. It was only four in the morning. What the fuck were we doing awake at this time? "Come on, Marine. Get dressed."

"Leah, this is too early. Even for me," I grumbled. She laughed and leaned down to kiss me in a way that had me awake almost instantly.

"If you don't wake up," she muttered, her lips still pressed against mine, "then we'll miss it." I didn't give a fuck what we were going to miss. How could I when she was kissing my like that? She pulled away, our ragged breath mingling in the air between us.

"Miss what?" I finally managed to say.

"Sunrise."


	72. Chapter LXXI

**Author's Note: Good Lord it feels like its been years since I updated. Prepare yourselves for some intense...maturity. Not a full blown scene, though. Just a little lustiness. Not going to lie, it's something that I'm a little timid about, so let me know what you all think! Enjoy!**

**Chapter LXXI**

My brain was muddled with sleep, but I pulled myself up and changed from just my shorts to my sweatpants and one of my long sleeved thermal shirts. Leah was already wearing a tank top and yoga pants, bouncing up and down with excitement as I dressed and came to stand beside her. It was like working through a fog as I wrapped my hand around hers and followed her out the door.

The clouds were lingering low in the sky as we marched up the hill, but my mind still hadn't registered what we were doing. At least, not until we broke through the line of trees and I saw the cliff's edge. There was a thick blanket and another quilt lying atop that one. I noticed a thermos of coffee sitting at the ready right behind a basket of covered muffins. Sunrise. She - - This - - Sunrise. It was like my brain couldn't even form a sentence. The only word that kept flashing through my mind was sunrise.

Leah led me to the blanket and sank down, lying on her stomach and looking out over the water. We were really sitting here; she was really giving me this. This had been her spot with her father for so very long. I had been expecting a wait that would last a few years, but here we'd only been waiting a few months. And I would have continued to wait for her until she was ready to give this up. To give me the sunrise. She shoved herself upright suddenly and grabbed a hold of a mug, metering out some coffee to me and handed it over to me. I was still sitting there like a statue. My girl grabbed my wrist and lifted it until she had my hand wrapped around the mug.

On instinct, I took the proffered cup and lifted it to my lips. I had expected to drop it and see Leah staring out over the ocean, but instead she was looking at me. "I don't have things that I can give you," she whispered then. The light was just beginning to shine from the sea line, turning the dark sky into a lighter blue. "I can't do the things that you've done for me." Didn't she understand all the things that she did for me? Didn't she understand what she meant to me? "I don't have lockets to give you or dog tags to give you. I can't pay you back for everything that you've done for me." I opened my mouth to tell her that she didn't have to when she leaned in and kissed me. "This is the only thing that I have to offer, Nate. Sunrise."

I had so many things that I wanted to tell her, but even in my mind they were discombobulated and wrong. So I didn't say anything. I dug the fingers of my free through her hair and grasped to the nape of her neck, tilting her head up. I slanted my lips over hers and drank her in, feeling her moan rumbling through her chest and down into mine. My entire body trembled with the feel of her pressed up against mine. I was more awake in that moment than I had been in a long time. I pulled away after I was starting to see black spots appear in my vision. "You're welcome," Leah breathed. I just chuckled and her and sipped at my coffee.

With our heads lying near the edge of the cliff, I cuddled her against my chest and watched the sun begin to rise over our heads. "I love you, Clearwater," I whispered suddenly. Leah sat up straight and rolled herself so that she was sitting on my chest, lying along the whole length of me.

"Where did that come from?" she asked suddenly.

"Do I need a reason to say it?" I teased. She smiled but didn't say anything more. She was expecting an answer. I sighed. "You said that you didn't have anything to give me," I began, "but you do." She cocked her head to the side, her bed head bangs falling over her eyes. I reached up to brush them out of the way. "You give me loyalty," I said, pulling her down to my lips so that I could kiss the frown lines out of her forehead. "You give me friendship," I began, moving my lips down to her right cheek, "and someone to talk to," I said, kissing the bridge of her nose and making my way down to her cheek, "and someone to hold,"I murmured against her left cheek. I pushed her face away so that I could look into her eyes. I sucked at words. It was easier for me to show her how much I loved her, how much I wanted to be with her. "And someone to love," I added, sealing it with a gentle press of my lips against hers.

But as it always was with Leah, she wasn't ready to give up just yet. I drew back so that I could look at her, but instead, I suddenly found myself sitting on top of Leah, who was now on her back. She seldom used her wolf strength on me. I'm sure it was to make sure that I knew I was the man in the relationship, but in all honesty, I didn't really care about the reasoning behind it. I braced my weight on my forearms, leaning down to lie on top of her as much as I thought was appropriate. Her hands found there way to my hips, gripping my skin before she moved underneath my shirt to rake her fingers down my back.

I groaned and couldn't help myself; I ground my hips into hers, listening to her delicious response. "We're missing your sunrise," I breathed. She laughed and shoved me off of her. "Isn't that the whole reason that we're up here?"

"Maybe that's just what I let you think," she countered. I rolled my eyes and sat up, spreading my legs open wide, letting my calves dangle over the edge. Leah clambered into my lap. The sun began climbing in the sky, the warmth beginning to spread over our faces. "How long have we been... busy?" she asked.

"I wasn't keeping track of time, Leah," I said with a laugh. She chuckled and laid back against my chest, resting fully against me. "It's beautiful," I said, looking at the way her hair was shimmering in the early morning sun.

"My dad used to say there's nothing like a good sunrise," she replied.

"Yeah, that's beautiful to," I replied. She laughed at me. "Why now?" I asked. I knew that it was out of the blue, but I just wanted to know why today was the day that she thought she should show me the sunrise.

"I talked to Seth," she began. I nodded, resting my chin on her head. "He wants to talk to you tomorrow. He's so sorry about what he said, Nate. Please, you have to understand -" she said, suddenly frantic.

"Clearwater, I'm not mad at him. I know what these days feel like. I might not have had the same situation as you guys, but I know what it's like to miss him," I interrupted. "Seth was just yelling at someone that he knew wouldn't hate him for it."

"Well...that's the thing, Marine, he thinks that you hate him," she explained. "She said that you took him off some project that you've been working on lately. He's a little worried."

"He's not off the project," I said. "We've just been busy for the last couple of days."

"So you'll talk to him?" she begged.

"I'll deal with it," I said, knowing better than to promise that I would actually _talk_. "Don't worry about it Leah." The sun was above the sea line now, the light reflecting off of the ocean. "Thank you for this, Leah," I said, leaning back and grabbed two muffins in my hands. I rested my forearm over her shoulder and dropped the bread in her lap. "When did you even have time to set this all up?"

"You'll never get that from me," she promised. I kissed her neck, finding the sweet spot that she didn't think that I knew about. I seldom used it; it was kind of like my secret weapon. She groaned and leaned herself back against me, her hips rolling a little against me. "You're cheating," she complained.

"I didn't know there were rules when it came to torture," I said, licking over the little spot softly. She moaned and turned in my arms. I smiled at her and pressed my lips against hers, kissing her sweetly and softly. She dragged her heat along the length of my growing desire for her. "You should probably stop that," I warned her.

"There's no rules to torture," she muttered. I laughed and kissed her again before deciding that we shouldn't ruin hers and her father's place for us. She cuddled against my side and watched the morning evolve. "Best sunrise ever."


	73. Chapter LXXII

**Author's Note: For those who read the ****_Consequences_****, it will either be up late tonight or tomorrow morning around 7:30-ish. I'm adjusting the timetables so that I can be more consistent with updates again. Super sorry that I've been so bad about it lately. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter LXXII**

Leah and I had started going to bed earlier and earlier everyday, getting enough sleep to go and watch the sunrise together pretty much every morning. It had been a few days since she had first taken me up there and I loved it every single time. She honestly believed that she had nothing to give me, nothing to offer me. I thought I was going to throttle her when she'd said it. She gave me the world and more every single morning, when I woke up with her in my arms and saw that contented smile on her face.

This morning, however, I was not woken up by my natural sleep cycle or even Leah's incessant bouncing so that we could go see the sunrise. No; this morning I was awoken by the doorbell. Leah groaned and unconsciously tightened her hold on my waist. "Let go," I said quietly, trying to pry her fingers away. "Leah, release. Release," I groaned. I managed to get one finger loose and a rolled out of her hold while I had the chance. She grumbled and moaned, not at all happy that her slumber had been disturbed.

In the plane between sleep and awake, she kept mumbling. The only word that made it through, however, was "Asshole." I smiled and brushed her hair away from her face before padding my way off to the entry. I knew that I was hardly dressed, but my chest (and the major scars) was covered. Scrubbing the sleep from my face, I pried to door open and looked...down. Billy Black was sitting in his chair, his hands resting in his lap and a bemused expression on his face.

"I've heard some things from Sue," he said immediately. At least the man had enough gumption to get straight to the point. "And if I wasn't here, Harry would do this for me." Do what? "Care to take an old man fishing?"

"Of course, sir. Please, come in. I'll just get appropriate clothes on," I said, opening my door all the way to allow him to roll in. I poured him a cup of coffee and brought it out, thinking that I had never been so grateful for auto-start programming on a coffee machine before. "Just one moment, sir." He nodded and turned to survey the apartment, his coffee mug sandwhiched in between his legs. I quietly opened the bedroom door and snuck in, trying not to wake Leah.

"Did you tell the asshole at the door that they could come back when the sun was actually _in_ the sky?" she muttered into the pillow.

"I did not; it's Billy Black," I explained. She sighed and pushed upright, complaining about the wolf things underneath her breath. "He wants me to go fishing with him." That woke her up.

"You don't want to do that," she said surely.

"Leah, it can't be all that bad," I tried but she was adamantly shaking her head. "He's your dad's best friend. He's just trying to make sure that your well cared for."

"You don't know what happens on these fishing trips. They tell each other _everything_. Billy knows every bad thing that I have ever done in my lifetime."

"Is that supposed to make me want to get out of this?" She glared at me and said my name like a warning. "I don't know, Clearwater. Your mom doesn't want to embarrass you, but I highly doubt Billy will be as concerned." In my head, I was pretty sure I already knew what this conversation was going to entail.

"I swear on my life, Marine, if you -"

I kissed her to shut her up, feeling her melt underneath me. At least I wasn't the only one who felt that way when we touched. "Cool your jets, Clearwater. He just wants to make sure I know what's expected of me."

"That's the whole reason that my father wrote you that letter," she said in an impertinent tone.

"Let it go, Leah. I'll be back before you even know that I'm gone," I promised her, pulling clothes over my head and leaning in for a quick kiss. "Love you."

Charlie Swan was waiting for us at the lake that Billy had directed me to, the boat already in the water. I had a brief moment of panic where I wondered what I should do with Billy. His paralysis was a thing that every one just seemed okay with, like it was nothing out of the ordinary. And even though he couldn't stand and walk on his own, there was a masculine authority about him that made it difficult to think about carting him around like an invalid. But when I rounded the car to open his door, he opened his arms out of habit. "Don't even bother with the old coot's chair," Charlie called to me. "Just get him in the damn boat."

"One day I'm going to make you sit in the little thing for a day and see what you think about it," Billy called back while I carried him to the little dingy that was waiting for us. "Call the thing a chair. They should have called it fucking prison." I didn't say anything, unsure whether it was appropriate to laugh at the obvious joke that he was telling.

"Quit your whining," Charlie called back. I set Billy on the bench, watching the boat sway a little. "Don't forget your vest," Charlie teased, shoving the caution cone orange flotation device over Billy's head.

There wasn't much said as Charlie and I rowed out to the middle of the cove that they usually set up in. The morning fog was still lingering there. Billy doled out coffee to each of us while Charlie set up his fishing poles like he wanted them. "I'm sure the old man told you why you're here," Charlie said then.

"Yes sir," I replied instantly.

"Son, if you're going to spend the day on the water with us, you're going to need to loosen up," Billy said, his hand coming up to shake my shoulder.

"Yes, sir," I said, relaxing just a little. Both men laughed at me, but I couldn't bring myself to feel embarrassed. It was a habit. When I was nervous or unsure about a situation, it was easiest just to treat it like meeting a new CO or some other superior officer.

"Just get the whole threat out of the way. Would you be able to relax if your girl's uncles were sitting here grilling you?" Charlie said.

"If he had a face like yours," Billy trailed off. I just stared between them. "All right, kid; I know Seth gave you the letter. He already told us," he started in immediately. I leveled gazes with him. "But the letter was what Harry wrote in case he wasn't here. He had a million other things that he wanted for Leah." I nodded. My father had been the same way. His line of work meant that we weren't always sure if he would be able to come home. And he wrote letters that were expected to him and then wrote the things that he actually wanted to say. "We all wrote letters. We had a couple of close calls and losses in our lifetimes. We both know what it said."

"What he's trying to say is that Harry's letter tell you what kind of man he wanted Leah to _find_. And no matter what he said, we both know that he isn't here to watch over his daughter," Charlie cut in. I couldn't help but think that they sounded like an old married couple. "But we're still here."

"And if she can't have Harry here, we want to make sure that she has us here whenever she needs us," Billy cut in. I nodded deftly. "Now I know about the house and I've explained it to the crazy dementia patient here, but we want to know why. Why spend everything you have to build her a house?"

"Because I love her, sir," I said without hesitation. "And I fully intend to marry her. That is, of course, if I have your blessings." I looked between the two of them. "I intend to talk to Sue and Seth, as well," I added. "But I would do everything and anything I could to make her happy. And if she'll take me, I would like to spend every day of the rest of my life trying to make her happy."

"Well," Charlie announced, throwing his arms up in the air, "I'm convinced. Enough talk about that shit."

"Agreed," Billy said, turning his attention back to the water. "Just remember that we're watching you."

"Yes sir," I promised. "I understand, sir."

"And you do have our blessing," Charlie added, although I detected a hint of uncomfortableness in his words. He shifted around a little bit.

"I gave no such consent," Billy shouted.

"Oh good Lord, you crazy bat. Let the boy marry the girl," Charlie said, shoving Billy towards the water.

"Like you're one to talk about daughter's getting married," Billy spat back. And I couldn't help but laugh.


	74. Chapter LXXIII

**Author's Note: I know; I'm a terrible person. I'm going to get this whole thing dealt with today and figure out how to make this all work again. I miss getting to update as often as I used to. I just hope people are still reading despite my inconsistency. I'm super sorry. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter LXXII**

I shook hands with Charlie when we were finally finished. Billy had let me keep whatever I'd caught during the day, which left me with a styrofoam cooler full of fish that I got to cart home to Leah. I had loosened up a little after Billy's comment alluding to Bella Swan. But both men had commented that I was above and beyond polite. I helped Billy out of the car and made sure he was in the house. "Thank you for inviting me today, sir," I said.

"You're more than welcome, son." He dipped his head in a slight nod. "Get home to your girl," he said with a bright smile. "I see that impatience." Everything in me said that I should tell him that I could stay if he needed help with anything. But then he winked and I was able to hold my tongue. "Get out of here."

I drove quickly to the apartment, glad to get to walk in the door. "Hey Clearwater," I called as I closed the door behind me. "I brought you home some fish." I brought the cheap cooler to the kitchen, placing it in the refrigerator so that I wouldn't have to be thinking about rotting fish all night. We could always gut them tomorrow. I put the few dishes that were in the sink into the dishwater and scrubbed down the counters before realizing that I hadn't heard anything from my girl. "Leah?"

Using a hand towel to wipe my now washed hands, I made my way to the living room area. Leah was curled up on her beloved yellow couch, her neck cocked at an awkward angle. Those stupid real housewives of whatever city were on television, talking about their miserable lives. Leah was purring and smiling, but I could see that she wouldn't be comfortable in the morning. "Come here Clearwater," I groaned, leaning down and bringing her to my chest. She groaned and moaned and turned her head into my chest during the short walk to the bedroom.

"I didn't think you were going to be leaving me all damn day," she grumbled when I pulled my shirt over my head. "I thought it was just a quick fishing trip."

"When is anything with them ever quick?" I teased back. I crawled into bed beside her. "How was your day?" She just groaned a little and humphed. "That good, huh?" I laughed. She smiled and wrapped her arms around me, drawing me even closer. "Don't you want to know anything about my day?"

"Did you want to talk about it?" she teased back. I laughed; she knew me so well. There was no reason for me to try stumbling through that conversation. "I can think of things we could do other than talk," she began.

"I'm much better at those," I said with a shrug.

"I would agree with that," she said. I leaned down to kiss her gently, my favorite way to feast on her mouth and make her know just how much I loved her. And for once, Leah let me be in charge. I pressed her down into the mattress and rested my weight on one forearm. I slid the other hand up her waist, feeling her silky skin glide underneath my hand. She rose up to meet my kiss, her hands tripping and stumbling over the thick scar tissue while she pulled me down to her. Her hips thrust against mine with raw want. A desire that would only be too easy to give her.

"Not yet, Clearwater," I panted. Damn what this girl could do to me. Her hands played with the waistband of my shorts and slowly drew them down my legs until I could kick them free. Leah moaned into my mouth as I was finally freed from the confines of my cotton boxer briefs. Sliding my hands underneath her sports bra until I reached the swell of her breasts. Leah squirmed underneath me, his hips rising and falling in search of some kind of friction. "I love you, Clearwater," I whispered.

"You chose _now_ to be the time to talk?" she complained. Her back arched as she tried to press her breasts into my hands. At the same time, she reached down and grabbed her own sleep shorts. I listened to the seams ripping and laughed against her mouth.

"Anxious, are we?" I slid the length of my hardness along her groin. "I thought you liked listening to me talk."

"Not at the moment," she said. She shoved me onto my back and sat herself up on me, her hand wrapping around my base. "Too much talking."

"No biting," I reminded her. She just scoffed at me and leaned down to kiss me again. And I drank from her like a man that had gone years without water. Slowly, she slid herself down on me until I was sheathed inside of her her. "God, Leah," I groaned. She smiled against my mouth and let me take back control. Her palms came up to lie flat on my chest, just over my heart. I held onto her waist, pinching and and squeezing at her chest and breasts and waist until she was covered in a fine sheen of sweat.

I matched her rise with my fall, feeling our skin smash together when she lowered herself and I rose to meet her again. It just kept going until she was breathing heavily, her chest heaving in the air, pressing her chest more up against my hands. "Nate," she tried to say, but it came out as little more than air. I angled her farther forward and listened to her heartbeat skip. So I rolled her over, leaning over her until she was practically dead underneath me. Using the strength that I forgot she had, she pulled on my neck until she could kiss me with all the intensity that she had been storing up. I could hear her whispering my name over and over until something in her finally snapped. Her teeth sank into my shoulder just at my deltoid muscle. But there was no pain from it. In fact, the joy that resulted from it forced me to lose what little control I was clinging to.

I crashed down on her, completely spent and buried my head in her neck. She stroked my hair after a few long moments, her heart still thudding in her chest but her breathing coming back down. I stayed there with her while I waited for my own breath to comedown from its panting rate. "I thought that we agreed on no biting," I muttered into her hair. She chuckled breathily.

"I think we both know I don't really do what I'm told," she replied. I lifted my chin from her neck and kissed her forehead.

"I wouldn't have you any other way," I promised her. I rested my forehead against her collarbone again. A little purring snore sounded underneath me. I pulled back to look at the girl who had seemingly come out of no where and into my life. How had I found such a miracle? In the middle of all the shit that I had going on around me, she had come in and made sense of everything. It was almost impossible to think of my life without her. And besides the fact that she was the only person I had ever met who could keep me from losing my mind, she was stunning.

Her eyes were shut, her lashes lying like delicate petals against her cheeks. Her mouth, swollen and pink from all our kisses, was open ever so slightly. It was almost asking to be kissed. I reached down and pressed a kiss to her cheek before I rolled off of her and tucked her into my side. Stroking her arm with my hand, I held her close and listened to her feminine snores and deep breathing. "I love you, Leah," I muttered like I would every night before we fell asleep. Lying completely on my back, I tossed my arm over my head and rested in the pillow. "I've got a ring and almost a whole house. God knows I got the girl if I just ask," I murmured to myself.

Maybe it was about time that I had the wife, too. Yeah, that's what I would do. Sue already knew that I wanted to marry her daughter, but I hadn't asked for her hand yet. And there was still Seth to deal with. I had spent enough time with him trying to make sure that he was the man of the house. So it was only right that I ask for his permission to marry his sister. Tomorrow... Yeah, tomorrow while Leah was on patrol or talking to Jake, I would sit down with Sue and Seth and make sure that I had their permission.

The house would be ready in a week or so. Which meant that I was going to have a week to plan this proposal. I looked down at Leah again. "You better say yes, Leah Clearwater."


	75. Chapter LXXIV

**Author's Note: Please see the new timetables on my profile over the next couple of days. I'm rearranging so I can stop disappointing all my loyal readers. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter LXXIV**

The house was finished, completely and utterly down to the last little itty bitty wire finished. It was primed, painted, cleaned, and stocked for us to live in as soon as she was ready. I'd had Jake kidnap Leah with some nonexistent drama with Ryanne. Now I just had to hope that the little girl was as good of an actress as she was a fighter. "Hey," Seth said. He was standing just a few inches away from the truck's tailgate.

"Just the man that I needed to see," I said, pulling the mattress in with a little grunt before I jumped down to meet her. "How you been?" I hadn't seen Seth since his parents' anniversary. It wasn't that I had been avoiding him or anything, but I'd been busy trying to get things together so that I could propose and get it over with. It was going to be hard enough to ask her without all this anticipation driving a man mad.

"I think I owe you an apology," he said, standing up straight and squaring his shoulders. My lips tweaked a little. This must have been what my father felt the first time I'd stood in front of him and admitted that I was wrong for stealing his truck and drinking in high school. "You didn't deserve any of those things that I said to you." I could see the muscles in his neck ticking, like he wanted to drop his gaze from me so that he didn't have to look me in the eyes. But all the hard work, all the things that I'd been saying to him over the past few months must have sank in. It wasn't a little boy who sat in front of me asking for forgiveness. Seth Clearwater had become a man somewhere along our line.

"I get it man," I replied, grabbing part of the bed frame and sliding it into the bed. "I know what it's like."

"But that doesn't make what I said anything good. I shouldn't have been such a dick to you."

"I really do get it, Seth." I turned to give him just a little smile. "Besides," I grunted, "your sister is Leah. What else would I expect besides angry comments and dark glares?" He chuckled a little behind me, lifting the oak headboard in as if it weighed nothing at all. He didn't even do a grunt to disguise his abilities.

"How long has your dad been gone know?" I stumbled a little with the next beam for the bed. My father was a topic that I kept strictly off limits. I mean, I talked about him to Leah, but not anyone else. I looked around to see Seth with a glimmer in his eyes. I'd said it before and I'd gladly say it again. The boy was a fucking woman when it came to emotions. That included his ability to make me cave.

"A few years now. I enlisted in the Corps right after he died," I explained, lifting my piece of the bed. I needed something to do with my hands while I was talking about this shit.

"Does it ever get easier?"

"Fuck, Seth, I want to tell you that it does. I really do, kid," I whispered.

"But...?"  
"But it doesn't," I admitted. "You think that you've got it under control that you're finally getting over it and then you find a picture or it's their birthday or their anniversary. Just when you start to think that you're okay with them being gone and you've learned how to live without them, they com right back to remind you they're still here." I found myself smiling, thinking that I couldn't have found a better way to say it and proud that I could find such poetry. Of course, when it came down to saying shit like that to Leah, I would never be able to. "You know, I did what you did when his birthday came around the first time?"

"You did?"

"Oh yeah," I laughed. "I was overseas and I realized the date. I had a friend over there, James." I flinched a little at his name, wishing that I hadn't said it. I shook it off and grabbed the footboard. "I yelled at James, called him every God damn name in the book. And at the end of the day, when I came to him and said that I was sorry, he said that it was no big deal. Because if I felt comfortable enough with him to scream at him and know that he would forgive me, then he would have to take that as the greatest compliment there is. And he was right. You could have just kept silent, Seth. But you knew that at the end of the day I would never hate you for what you did."

There was silence for a little while. I kept loading the car, checking over my shoulder for the slightest sign that Leah was coming home. "I'm still sorry." I laughed, the sound echoing off the trees. "Come on, let me make it up to you. I'm really, really sorry."

"Okay, okay," I said. "Help me get this bed all moved in and we'll call it even." He nodded and pressed a bed sight over his head like it was little more than plastic. "There's, uh, there's something else that we need to talk about." He nodded towards me but didn't give a verbal response. "Look, you know that I'm your sister's imprint and I know that you know what that means for us. But it's more than that, Seth. I love her."

"Oh God, could we please not talk about this?" he begged. "Please? I see it enough in Leah's head when she thinks that she's alone."

I laughed at him. "I'm just going to pretend that you didn't say that," I replied. "Look, you're the man of the house, Seth. And I want to marry your sister." He dropped to a dead stop, forcing me to run into him. "That's what I was getting at. I want to marry your sister and I'm asking for your permission." At the rates my fights were going, I could afford to give her any kind of wedding she wanted with time. I'd made almost three grand at the fight last week. And I had two this week. My savings was a little depleted from the house but I knew that when she saw it, it would all be worth it.

"Of course you can marry her," Seth said. "I knew you guys would one day... I just wasn't expecting it to be so soon." My conversation with Sue had gone in much the same fashion when I'd talked to her the day before. Leah kept saying that she wasn't going to leave me, but I still worried. She could decide at any moment and I need a solid, legal hold on her before that happened. "I, uh, I give you my permission," he said with a strangled expression on his face.

"You don't have to sound so formal," I laughed. "Come on. I need to get this all set up soon so that I have somewhere to bring her to."

"I'll meet you there," he replied. I nodded and began the drive, still thinking over what both Sue and Seth had said. Was it really too early for Leah and I to get married? There were plenty of people who got married earlier than we were. _If _we were, that is. Besides, Leah was twenty-two and I was twenty-three. I could think of more than one couple that were married by the time that we were, never minding our parents.

Between me, Seth, and Quil, who was at the house to distract himself from the fact that his imprint was sick at the Makah reservation, we got the bed unloaded and assembled in what was probably record time. "Okay, I've got to go get my girl before she thinks that I've deserted her for a lifetime," I said as I shooed the other two out of the house. "And Seth!" He turned back to look at me. "Thanks." With a dip of his head, he disappeared into the forest with Quil, howls and barks coming up shortly after.

I turned back to survey our hard work, holding Leah's drawing up. The house looked exactly like what she wanted. Log cabin exterior, stone covered porch stairs, a stone chimney. And the inside... Well, that I had to trust that I knew my girl well enough to know what she would like. I patted my front pocket, where the ring was sitting in a new velvet box. Thank God for jewelry stores and their amazing ability to make rings three sizes larger. Now I just had to finish setting up a picnic up on the cliff. Maybe get her mother to cook... She wasn't do off of patrol for another couple of hours, despite what I had told the boys. I just wanted them out of my house. My completely finished house.

"Nate?" I stopped breathing, my muscles tensing. Of all the fucking days, it had to be this one? "I, uh, I asked around town and they all said that you were living here."

"For the love of all the is fucking holy, what the hell are you doing here?" I demanded with a growl.


	76. Chapter LXXV

**Author's Note: Oh, how I enjoyed the guesses and reviews. I love to see them flood my inbox. Hope you all enjoy tonight's chapter! Love and thanks!**

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**Chapter LXXV**

I turned around, keeping my fists clenched at my side. "Your, um... Your brother and his wife brought me out here. They're over at your uncle's gym right now. Said to ask around town and find you," he explained. "I just want a chance to explain myself, Nate."

"I don't need to hear a fucking explanation," I snapped, shoving past the man that I had once thought of as my brother. "Get the hell out of my town." I stepped towards my car again, any thoughts that I'd had about the house gone. It had to be the fucking day that I was going to propose to her, the day that I was finally accepting that everything was over with and I could move on with my life. I turned back around to face him. His dirty blonde hair was shaking in the slight breeze, his Marine cut having grown out to a certain floppiness. "Did you seriously think that you could just come here and everything would be okay?"

"Nate, we haven't spoken since -"

"Since you betrayed your country? Yeah, I remember the day," I cut in.

"Are you going to give me a chance to explain? Come on, Nate. We were friends."

_"Were_ being the operative word in that sentence. We _were_ friends, James. You made your decisions and I made mine." I wasn't going to fight over which had been the right choices. "Get out of here, James. I've got friends that you won't want to mess with."

"They said that this was what you'd become. Especially after the Dear John," he tried again. "I just didn't believe them."

"What my brother and Allie did to me has nothing to do with what has happened between me and you. Stay the fuck away from me." I didn't spare him another glance or another word. I got in my truck and drove aimlessly around town. I was finally okay with life again. I had finally learned to live with my past because of my future, the future that I saw with Leah standing right beside me. "Fuck!" I shouted to the car. I slammed a fist down onto the steering wheel as memories flooded me.

I could see him there, taunting me, commanding others to hold me down while he whipped me. Knowing that I would soon be sucked into a world that I hadn't visited in ages, I pulled off the side of the road and let everything play out before my eyes. I could taste the blood in my mouth from where I'd bitten down to hard on my tongue or my lip. "Nathan," a quiet voice called. A voice that reached beyond the memories and the pain. "Come on, Marine, open the door." I'm sure I made some sight, sitting in a car staring at nothing. Probably shaking. "I don't want to break your car, Nate. Snap out of it," she commanded. "Marine!"

I jerked my head forward, the thoughts dissipating and leaving only the present behind. I reached over with trembling fingers to unlock the car. In the next moment, Leah has sitting on the center console, her knees bent at an awkward angle as she crouched next to me. Her warm, calloused fingers came up to rub my cheek, freeing the small muscle in my jaws to twitch a little. "I'm okay," I whispered.

"You're not," she said calmly. Her other hand reached around and grasped my chin, pulling me to her gaze while the fingers that had been stroking my cheek found my hair. "What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I replied. There would be too much to explain.

"Too bad, Marine. Tell me." I looked at her, seeing the concern swirl in her milk chocolate eyes. I knew it wasn't the appropriate moment, but I couldn't help but think that I would love to see a little girl with a her mother's eyes smiling at me. Especially when those eyes were Leah's. "Hey," she implored. "Tell me, Nate."

"Allie and Scott are here," I said. That would be the easiest part of the information to tell her. The harder part would be explaining to her that James was here. I doubted that she would take that information well. "They're at Frank's."

"Good, let's go," she promptly announced. "I've been itching to beat the shit out of that dick since -"

"Leah," I whispered. She stopped and immediately turned to look at me. "There's more."

"They didn't get married?" I laughed.

"That would be easier than the rest of what I have to tell you."

"Well, that's a way to scare me," she said, moving so that she was sitting in my lap instead of on the car. "Quit beating around the bush, you coward. Tell me what's going on."

"James is here." Her face fell, the laughter that had been on her face was gone. She was dead serious while she processed what I had said.

"James... Like your friend from the Corps?"  
"Friend is a loose word now, wouldn't you agree?" She just kept staring at me. "Scott and Allie brought him here after he came to Montana." At least that's what I would assume. There was no other reason that Scott and Allie should be here. They were just using James as an excuse to come and try to get me to go home. I didn't want to. I had a life here that I wasn't willing to relinquish for all the money in the world.

"Why don't we just head to my mom's house? She called and said that she wanted help with some stuff. Suggested that we stay the night and everything," she said. Leave it to Sue to pull through for me. I didn't have the apartment anymore and I had been planning on having us in our house tonight. Clearly, those plans were derailed.

Thankful that La Push had a frighteningly small number of cops, Leah remained in my lap for the short drive, although she was more curled than she was sitting. The sight that was waiting for us when we got back to the house, however, was anything but what I was expecting. James was sitting on the front porch, Seth's wolf snarling and hissing at him from the tree line. "Stay in the car," I said, gently placing her in the seat and getting out. "Seth, down. It's okay," I added to my soon-to-be brother-in-law when he and I locked eyes. I could see the laughter at my treating him like a guard dog, but I couldn't think of another way to make it seem normal.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I snapped. "How did you find this place?"

"I asked around town. They said you'd be at the gym, here, or at that , the said an apartment but when I got there the landlord gave me your forwarding address," he explained.

"You are not welcome in La Push at all, but least of all at this house. Now leave," I snapped.

"Is it really such a terrible thought to give me a chance to explain why I did the things that I did?" he asked. I could see Leah out of the corner of my eye. For some unknown reason, she was actually listening to me. Her nose was pressed against the glass, her eyes full of concern. But she was listening and in the car and safe from any words that James, Scott, or Allie could say to her.

"If I let you say your piece, will you get the fuck out of La Push?" I demanded.

"And you'll never have to see me again," he promised.

"Talk."

"I thought that I could be the one to keep you guys from getting hurt. If one of us gave in, then we could save all the others from the pain that comes with really being tortured. I was trying to do my duty and protect everyone," he said.

"That's it?" I asked after a few minutes' silence. "That's your big defense for why you betrayed us all and killed your brothers?"

"I was trying to do my duty!" he repeated.

"Your duty was to protect the American people, James. We were all Marines, we all knew what we were getting into. None of us cracked under the pressure. None of us betrayed everyone."

"I didn't -"

"Say what you want about protecting were saving your own hide and all of us knew it," I snapped. "And after all that you've done, all the pain that you've caused, you have the balls to come here, to my girlfriend's house?"

"I thought -"

"I don't give a fuck what you thought. I don't want you here. Whatever your reasons were for what you did, right, wrong, or indifferent, you still killed good men. Was it worth it?"  
"I live with that on my conscience every single day of my life," he said. I could see pain welling up in his eyes, fear and torment that I could easily relate to shining in his eyes. "I didn't want them to die. It was never meant for that."

"You're a coward, James. And nothing like the Marine that I thought you were. In the face of danger and death, you chose the easy way out. You chose to kill to save yourself instead of saving people. You're nothing better than the men that we caught," I spat.

In the next instant, he had leapt towards me and had me lying on my back. I landed a fist in his side, sending her sprawling to the ground, but he only came back for more. I hit him again and again and again until he was little more than recognizable. I heard the car door slam behind me, but it was quickly covered by the sound of James smashing into me again. "Catch him and hold him, Nate. It's not worth it anymore," Leah whispered.

I did as she asked, but wasn't prepared for what she did once I'd snaked my arms under his armpits and locked my hands behind his head, holding him up. She grasped his hair and pulled his face up to meet hers. "We've never met," she whispered in a deadly tone. "But believe me when I say I despise you to your very core. Get the hell away from my family. And if you come back, one wolf won't be all that's waiting for you."

I dropped James to his knees, but the fighter in him wouldn't just go down like that. He swung an exhausted arm out and sent me sprawling to my back before rushing to his feet and sprinting towards his car. Leah glared after him but ultimately decided to come back. "That won't be the end of him," I promised her. Despite what had happened between us, I still knew the man. She stared at something lying in the grass next to me for a moment, her head cocked to the side in confusion. "What's wrong?"  
She held up the velvet box that must have fallen from my pocket. "What's this?"


	77. Chapter LXXVI

**Author's Note: Okay, here's tonight's chapter. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter LXXVI:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

I held up the tiny box, staring at Nate with a startled face. "What is this?" I asked him. My heart hammered in my chest, begging him to tell me that it was exactly what I was dreaming of. There was no way that he would do this... He just wouldn't. It would mean that he was completely and utterly over Allie. That the bitch was no longer even a thought in his brain. And there was no way that my Marine, scarred from war and broken from heartache, would be ready for that.

Right?

Nate's heart picked up a little in his chest as he gently dislodged the little ring holder from my hand. "Do you... Could we... I was thinking," he tried to say but he wasn't making any sense. He kept trying to stumble over his words, but other than the beginning of his sentences, I got nothing. It was nearly three minutes after I'd asked about the little box that he finally stuck his hand out to me. A walk. He wanted to go for a walk. Okay then.

I slipped my hand into his and let him lead me through the forest to the cliff side. I was relatively sure that every single big moment, short of the wolf stuff, had happened on this cliff. Which meant that whatever he was bringing me up here for was of vital importance. Our blanket was safely tucked behind the tree. Nate dropped my hand and jogged over to it, sprinting back to me and laying it down on the grass and pulling me down beside him. He kept his hand in his pocket while he just stared at the ocean. I had learned long ago to wait patiently for him to get his thoughts together. So I sat there, watching him mess around with the thing in his pocket for a little while.

"I wanted this to be really special," he finally said. "I had a whole surprise thing planned out for you and everything." I smiled at him, sure that he went through oodles and oodles of planning to get everything together. "Every single time that I try to get something done for you, they come and ruin it all."

"Nothing has been ruined, Nate. Just tell me what's on your mind," I begged him. He shoved to his feet, his hands coming to rest on his hips as he marched back and forth. He stopped every fifth lap and stared at me, looking like he needed something that I couldn't give him. "Marine?" He hushed me rudely and kept his walking. It seemed like an eternity later when he finally stopped and rushed at me.

"Come on," he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me up to stand. He didn't say anything else, just kept marching us in a different direction that what we usually took. He was practically dragging me behind him in his haste to get to... wherever we were going. "I've been trying to keep this from you since I started it." He was keeping things from me? I thought we were well beyond that point in our relationship. He'd said that he wasn't going to do that again. Not since he'd gone out to talk to Sam without me. "And let me tell you that you haven't made that very easy."

Oh sure, now that it was't something important he could put together a handful of words and spit them out. I said nothing and just continued to follow him through the forest. "I even had your brothers helping me. Swearing those guys to secrecy is harder than milking a bull." I laughed at him then. Oh my Montana cowboy. "But I managed to get it done. And now that I've gotten all my shit together, they just had to come along and ruin it all!"

"Oh calm down, Marine," I said, rubbing my thumb over the back of his hand. "They only ruin it if you let them."

"But they didn't have to be here. I thought that I'd made myself clear about them," he snarled. He might be spending just a little too much time with me and Seth lately. "But here they are, fucking up a day that I've spent months planning." Well now he had me intrigued. I wasn't one for surprises but when your Marine who hates them more than you comes through and says that he's been planning things for _months_ it's enough for you to let it slide. Trust me. "There!" He pointed just beyond the tree line but even with my vision, I couldn't see it.

He jerked me forward so that I was standing in front of him. "Nate?"

"Trust me," he implored, releasing my hand so that he could cover my eyes with his hands.

"I don't like surprises," I informed him.

"You'll like this one," he promised. He pulled me back so that I was resting against his chest and them dropped one hand from my eyes. With an arm around my waist, he lifted me so that I was standing on top of his running shoes. And then I was blind again. He marched forward, forcing my knees to bend and me to laugh. "Trust me, you'll like this one, Clearwater." We walked for a time before he finally dropped me down to my own feet again, tugging back into his chest again and resting his chin on my shoulder. "I love you, Leah."

"That's not a surprise," I joked. "I'm pretty fucking amazing."

"You don't even know," he said tightly. "I love you, Clearwater, more than anything in this entire world. And I'm tired of waiting for everything to calm down so that we can be happy like we both want. That's what all this is, Leah. This is just me trying to make you happy."

"I _am_ happy," I insisted, wishing that he would take his damn hands away.

"But not as happy as you could be. I know you Leah. I know what you want from life and it's so much more than this," he replied. "I know that you want more than just an apartment and our moms. That's what this is all about. I want to give you all the girly shit that you want."

"Not the most eloquently put, Marine," I laughed. Leave it to him to start out great and manage to say the wrong thing halfway through.

"Well, then allow me to try again," he chuckled low in my ear. I was pretty sure that I had never seen this side of him before. He gently nudged me a few steps more and then a few to my right. Then his hands, rouged and large, slid down my arms from elbows to wrist. "I thought you would have looked by now," he laughed. "Open your eyes Clearwater."

I did as he asked, but I wasn't really prepared for what I was going to see. There was a house in front of me, the likes of which I could never dream of own. It looked like an old log cabin with a stone chimney and stairs, a wrap around porch, flowers planted along the mosaic walkway. Two rocking chairs were on the front porch, just a few feet away from the front door. A porch swing was on the other side. And me? I was thoroughly confused.

Nate gripped my shoulders and turned me around to look at him. I looked up at his emerald green eyes, but he was smiling brighter than anything I had ever seen. Bigger than when I had told him I loved him. I watched him dig into his back pocket and pull out his wallet, but he still hadn't answered my question. "Your mother gave me this," he whispered, handing over a folded piece of paper. My first thought was that it was another letter from my father. I began unfolding it, unsure what else my father could possibly have to say to him. But as I began undoing the layers, I realized that this was no letter.

This was the house. The one that I had drawn when I was in third grade. The one that I had sworn I would build when I was an adult. The one I wanted to raise my children in. The one that... That Nate had built? "You - - this? You?" I managed

"Leah, one of us has to be good with words," he replied. "And we know that it's not me." Was he seriously going to crack a joke right now? He reached into another pocket and pulled out a set of keys dangling from a ring. "You want to go inside?" I just stared at him.

"What is this?" I begged of him.

"What does it look like, Leah?" he teased, jingling the keys in his hand.

"It looks like you bought me a house," I breathed.

"I definitely didn't _buy_ you a house." My heart began beating again. I only wanted a house once we were getting married. Once we were getting engaged and I knew that he was sure he didn't want someone better. "I built you a house, Clearwater."

"What!"

"Come on," he laughed. "Just come and look inside."

"Nate - - I... This can't," I tried. Apparently my understanding of him was reciprocated.

He reached into his pocket again and pulled out the little box that I had completely forgotten about. "Open it," he said with the thing sitting in his house. There was no way that he was ready for this. It just - - It couldn't be. So I shook my head. "Then come and look at your house, Leah."

Fine; it that was the deal, fine. I took his hand and let him lead me in. But once I was there, I was pretty sure I'd died and gone to heaven.


	78. Chapter LXXVII

**Author's Note: I know it's been a while, but I needed a day (yesterday) to just sit and write and storyboard and brainstorm. I apologize sincerely. Please see my profile for the brand new update times. They won't change again until school starts again in late August. In all honesty, I don't expect this story to go on for ****_that_**** long though. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter LXXVII**

She kept her hand tight in mine as I dragged her up the front porch. She hadn't taken the keys from my hand, so I took the initiative and unlocked the door, pushing it aside with a gentle sweep of my hand. The lights were all dimmed but still on. And with Leah's vision, I didn't need them to be on full blast anyway. The entry was stone, carrying on the work that had been on the stairs and the pathway. A closet was neatly tucked into the corner, most of the jackets that she had in my house having already been moved over. Wrought iron hooks stuck out from the walls for any guests that we may have. I heard her suck in a tight breath as she stared at the room. I gave her hand a gentle squeeze, bringing her gaze up to me. "Come on," I insisted, pulling her through the entryway and into the living room.

The floor beneath our feet became wood planks and led to the bright white floor rug and the damned yellow couches that she loved so much. It probably wasn't the greatest match that world had ever seen, what with the dark beams that ran along the ceiling and the stone fireplace on the north wall. But it perfectly reflected the couple that Leah and I had come to be. "You - -" she tried to say. And then her hand came up to whack my arm. "You played me!"

I let my head fall back with laughter and smiled at her. "How else was I supposed to get everything perfect, Clearwater?" I chuckled. I yanked on her arm with enough force to send any other person flying across the room. But with Leah, it only brought her slamming into my side. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pressed a kiss to the top of her cropped hair. "Did you really think that I was going to paint our bedroom? It's an apartment, Leah."

"I didn't know!" she replied.

I led her towards the kitchen and watched her face light up. It was probably for the best that I had asked for our mothers' help. "Why don't you look around?" I suggested. She seemed completely dazed as her fingers reached out for the little white lace curtains that were in the box window, a fresh bouquet of flowers within. I waited only long enough to know that she was distracted to disappear into our bedroom. So my proposal had been ruined by my brother, sister-in-law and former best friend. That didn't mean that I had to give up on everything. I could make it all a little better. I would have to.

I snuck off to our bedroom, a door just beside the kitchen area. I looked back at her before I disappeared, quietly closing the door and looking around at the cream and turquoise room that I'd created for her. I lit some of the candles that were already there and then looked around. I had to make this special for her. I had to make her realize just how much I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. That, of course, left me pacing at the foot of the bed. Finally, I opened the little velvet box and looked down at the ring. This would be the best place.

This simple room with the stone fireplace and cream walls and cream counterpane and turquoise pillows would symbolize everything about our relationship. This is where Leah and I would someday sleep with our children in between us, where we would come when we were angry and we needed to talk to each other. This would be the center for a long time. So it only made sense that this is where it would start.

With that thought, I closed the bedroom door and found Leah staring at the pictures that were on the mantle of the fireplace. There were some of my parents, some of hers, our families, her and her brother, a few that I'd managed to find of her in Harry. And at the center was a picture of us that I didn't know existed until Sue had given it to me in a frame. We were in the kitchen, my hands resting on her hips and hers on my shoulders. I had a smile on my face, although it was only my profile that could be seen. Leah had a full blown grin, her eyes crinkled with laughter. I knew just by looking at her clothing that it was the birthday party, the day that she'd surprised me by bringing my mother out to Washington. And I was pretty sure that it was the only picture I had of us. Leah's fingers traced the grain of the wood as she stared at it.

I cleared my throat, though she probably already knew I was there. She looked up at me with shimmering eyes, tears welling in their dark depths. "How?" she asked. I smiled and took a step closer.

"I had help. All the guys, our moms, your brother," I began.

"I mean to ask why," she whispered. We were going to be in bad shape if she was going to lose her ability to speak too. The again, we did have an unspoken understanding that was different from anything I had ever had with anyone before. "I'm a little distracted."

I smiled and rested my chin on her shoulder, turning my head so that I could press a kiss to her jawline. "Why do you have to ask questions you know I can't answer?" I replied, knowing that if I tried to get the words out, it was only going to come out like half sentences that made nothing.

"Try," she implored, still staring at the picture of us.

I nudged her forward, figuring that I could kill two birds with one stone. I pulled open the bedroom door, one of four in the house, but the only one that I had taken time to decorate like I had. Leah gasped as she saw all the cream and blue and the candles. "Because I love you," I whispered. She turned to look back at me, confusion etched in her brow. "That's why. I did all of this because I love you and I want to do anything that I can to make you happy, Clearwater." She opened her mouth, but I covered it with one hand. "Let me finish. Otherwise I'll never get it out." I felt a giggle in her throat but I continued anyways.

"I - - You - - I don't think you understand how great you are Leah. I know that I've told you how beautiful you are, but that's not what I'm talking about. I don't know another person with your kind of strength, someone who can fight against the pain that you've gone through. And then I don't know anyone who could have remained as calm as you are." She scoffed at me. I shifted my hand to grip her chin and force her to look at me. "Don't do that. Don't write yourself off like that. I don't know another person who would do the things that you do. You help your mother, you take care of your brother, you put up with me. You do things that other people don't think of. Like bringing my mother out here. No one else would have thought about doing that. You think of yourself as this bitch, but you're really not Clearwater."

"Don't make me start on you," she threatened, ducking her face so that she could properly blush without me seeing. I knew what she meant, of course. Once one of us started complimenting the other, there was an air of embarrassment that came with it. Neither one of knew what to do with it. So months ago, when Leah wouldn't let something drop, I started in on her. I showered her with compliments until she finally agreed to leave me alone.

"I love you, Leah Clearwater," I said, digging my hand in my pocket. I had seen thousands of movies where the guy dropped to his knee to ask the girl to marry him. And to be honest, I had always thought it was the stupidest thing that I had ever seen. Why would someone get on his knees to ask a girl to marry him? Why not man up and ask her with a straight back and upturned chin?

But I understood now. It was because you weren't being _that _man. Because I wasn't just asking her to marry me. I was doing everything in my power to convince her to stay with me for the rest of our days; everything including begging. Her eyes went wide when I dropped to one knee, my fingers fumbling to get the ring out of that damned cumbersome box. I just wanted this to be simple. I held it up to her, pinched between my thumb and index finger. "I know that I suck with words and emotions, Leah. I know that I've got a lot of problems. I know that you put up with a lot from me." Her breathing hitched. "But is there anyway that you could find a way to put up with me for the rest of your life?"

In a blur that I didn't see, she launched herself into my arms. Sitting on the leg that was bent, she attempted to joke the life out of me. "Only if you'll let me call you an asshole every once in a while," she compromised.

"Call me whatever you like," I replied. I slipped my mother's ring onto her finger with a satisfied smile. "By the way, thanks for giving away your ring size. Made everything a little easier," I said with it slid into place at the perfect size.

Recognition flashed in her eyes as she realized what I was saying. With her ring in place, she pulled her hand away and smacked my shoulder. "Asshole!" she shouted. Any response I could give was smothered by her lips then.

Like I said, she could call me _whatever_ she liked.


	79. Chapter LXXVIII

**Author's Note: Not much to say other than enjoy and feel free to let me know what you guys think. Thanks!**

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**Chapter LXXVIII**

So, apparently it was an unwritten rule that after becoming engaged and getting a house, a couple threw a housewarming party to announce this big occasion. I personally choose to believe that Leah was so happy with the way that things had come out that she just wanted to brag. What's wrong with that? Especially for Leah, I saw no problem for it. She deserved something to gloat about. So I went along with it when she said that she wanted to host a dinner on Sunday night. "Like a housewarming party," she said excitedly.

"Leah, I don't even know what that is," I replied.

"Basically, everyone brings something for us to put in the house; like the things that we need and all of that," she explained.

"So I worked extra hours and fought extra fights to get everything in this house and there's a _party_ that we could have thrown and saved ourselves all that trouble?" I demanded in a teasing tone. I reached for her in our bed and flopped her down on the mattress so that she looked up at me with that bright laugh glimmering in her eyes.

"You did all of that because you love me," she reminded me, reaching up to stroke my cheek. My muscles twitched as I thought about all the things that I could do with her while we were sitting on the bed in this position. "Of course, it doesn't hurt that I'm amazing, incredible, and you know, altogether breathtaking." I leaned down and found her lips in mine, grabbing her bottom lip between mine. She moaned and wound her fingers through my hair.

"I'm glad that you've finally figured out what I've known for ages," I whispered when we broke apart. She laughed at me and scoffed a little in disbelief but I just kept kissing her, molding her to every hard line of my body.

"We should go," she whispered, shoving against my chest. I turned her face back to me and drank her in again. "Marine," she muttered, her mouth still against mine. "Nate." I wasn't willing to listen to her. I had been training all morning and now I was supposed to be going to dinner with our mothers. But I just couldn't bring myself to want to move at the moment. "You're not listening."

"You should stop talking then," I replied, pulling her over to straddle my hips. I had almost expected that to be the end of it. She had more self control than I did. I was counting on her to pull away and say that we had to go. So I didn't quite know how to react when she leaned down and began kissing me with as much fervor as I was giving her. I grabbed her ass in my hands and tugged until she was grinding against me.

"Okay, okay," she said, breaking the kiss and lying her forehead against mine some ten minutes later. "We're really going to be late if we don't leave." I just laid there panting and waiting for my heart to stop smacking my ribcage. "And you need to learn a little self control."

"That's what I have you for," I replied.

Finally, we were on our way to the house. Of course, we had to stop at Safeway first and grab a bottle of Leah's newfound favorite wine. I toted the basket in one hand and clasped Leah's hand in my other grip. She was chattering on about what she wanted to buy for our dinner on Sunday and who she wanted to invite. None of the boys, she was adamant about that. They would only break the things that we had in the house. "I think your aunt and uncle, our mothers, and maybe Sam and Emily."

"I'm sorry, who were the last people on that list?"

"I just want to brag. Just for one night," she said, gripping my hand tightly and looking up at me with pleading eyes. "Please, Nate. We'll invite them to dinner with people who know nothing about wolves."

"Are you wanting to start anything with them?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you trying to reconnect with your cousin?" She balked and shook her head vigorously. "Then I think that it's only fair that you _don't _invite them, Clearwater."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because bragging and teasing are two different things. If you want to show them how happy you are, then do it from a distance. Because otherwise you're just making them think that they had hope for the future when they clearly don't."

"You're no fun," she grumbled.

I looked at her with what I hoped was a flame of desire, dredging up memories of the night that we had shared in our new home. "I don't think you could honestly say that," I whispered. She blushed deep ruby red and stepped forward like she was going to hit me again, but someone cleared their voice behind us.

I spun around, apologetic but pretty sure that we hadn't been in anyone's way when our antics began. But instead, I was met with the face of the girl I once thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. For the first time, though, the sight of her didn't piss me off. It didn't make me think of all the pain she'd caused or even of the time that we shared before. I didn't feel anything. "What do you want, Allie?" Leah was right. They could only ruin things if I let them. And I was too happy with the way that my life was turning out to really care.

"We haven't seen you since we got into town," she said, tears shimmering in her eyes. "We had thought that you would come to the wedding," she added. Leah stepped closer to my side, resting her hand on my forearm. I wrapped my arm around her waist and drew her into my side. With a strength that was completely Leah, she shifted her hand from my forearm to my chest. It was almost like a restraint, incase I got a little too upset. But I wasn't going to. Allie turned her eyes to Leah. "What are you doing here?"  
Leah jerked her chin up a notch, but I cut in before she could say anything. "Allie, you remember my fiancee Leah, right?" I asked. I watched that fire flash in the shorter girl's eyes as her hands searched for Leah's left hand, the hand that was lying on my chest, of course. "Leah, you've met Allie, remember?"

"Of course," Leah said with a polite smile. "You married Dick, right?" I almost choked on the laugh that threatened to escape then.

"Scott," Allie correct tightly.

As if she'd been calling him, my brother appeared by her side. "Right, Scott," Leah said like she was just now remembering. I squeezed her waist, trying to tell her that she didn't need to be quite so mean. "Sorry; I get your name and your personality mixed up." She smiled at him with that proper gleam that was impossible to replicate. "Nate, we have to get going."

"I know, I know," I replied. "It was great to see you two again," I added, gliding my hand from Leah's waist to the small of her back. "Have a nice stay in Forks." Leah raised her hand in farewell.

"You didn't," Scott muttered lowly. I looked at him, slightly startled by his expression. He looked like he wanted to strangle me. "I fucking got married first!" he screamed. I gently dislodged Leah when I saw my brother storming towards me. I caught his fist in mine and waited until he was closer to me.

"What the fuck is your problem? You don't want to make a scene here, Scott," I hissed.

"I got married first. Why the _fuck_ does she have mom's ring?" The ring must have glinted in the lights when she waved goodbye. "Why the hell would she give it to you?"

"Because you didn't invite her to your own wedding," Leah said from behind him.

"She didn't want to give her blessing," Allie interrupted. "If she had just been willing to accept us for our relationship, she would have been more than welcome at the wedding."

"Whatever, bitch," Leah snorted. "I guess she'll just stay on this side of the country then."

"You should have given it back, Nate. You should have told her it was mine," Scott insisted, pulling his fist away from mine and attempting to throw another punch. "You have no right to take this from me."

"I don't think you're in a position to be talking about taking things from people," I pointed out. "Mom didn't feel welcome at your wedding. I don't know what to tell you. Now, if you'll excuse us, my fiancee and I have a dinner to get to."

I shoved him away and took Leah's hand in my own again, gently tugging her through the door. "You really think that this is okay, Nate? You've let this fucking bitch turn you into someone that you're not!" Allie screamed from behind us. I turned back to tell her to back off, but I was too late. Leah and already launched her lithe, almost-six-foot body across the distance and landed a square punch in Allie's jaw.


	80. Chapter LXXIX

**Author's Note: Here's tonight's chapter. For those who read ****_Consequences_**** and ****_Down to Nothing_****, there will not be an update on those tonight. Sorry. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter LXXIX**

The scream that echoed through the store drew everyone's attention. But I really couldn't give a fuck. Allie stumbled backwards into the sodas that were stacked in their neat display. Leah hit her again, not bothering to stop and wait for Allie to recover. I sighed and leaned against the candy that I was standing near. "Aren't you going to stop her?" Scott demanded. I shrugged. There was no stopping Leah Clearwater. I'd wait until things got too far or if it looked like she was going to phase. "She's beating your sister-in-law."

"I think she's beating your wife," I said. Allie was nothing to me. Hell, Scott was nothing to me. "And she'll stop when the lessons done."

"What lesson?"

"Leah is a little defensive and extremely loyal," I replied. "Not my fault that Allie chose to test both of those things."

"How can you defend that bitch?" We did everything else as a couple. Why not this too?

I hit my brother straight across the phase, relishing in the feel of his bone crunching underneath my fist. "That _bitch_ is my fiancee. And I never once insulted yours like that so have some respect. She's going to be my wife. So back off before I actually have to break something."

"I don't even recognize you anymore," he said, his hand on his jaw. I was acutely aware of Leah still beating on Allie. "You've become Pops!"

"Is that supposed to be an insult?" I asked him. "Do you have any idea what kind of man he was? Or did you just erase him from your memory?" Leah shoved Allie away. The girl's face was bruised, her lip split open at the center. I'm pretty sure it shouldn't have given me the joy that it did. I was proud of Leah for standing up for herself like that. She tried so had to stay completely in control I loved getting to see her release for just a moment. She stood behind me, sliding into her appointed place. I rested my arm on her waist and stared at my brother. "Does it hurt too much to remember him? Because you know that he'd be upset with the way that you've chosen to live your life?"

"I haven't done anything wrong."

"Be honest with yourself for a minute here, Scott. You've disowned your own mother because she wasn't happy with your decision to date my ex-girlfriend. You have ignored everything that everything that Pops stood for. You dishonored our family and betrayed his wife. You think he'd be happy with that?"

"I haven't done anything wrong," he repeated.

"Then why didn't you let Ma go to your wedding? Why don't you like to think about him? Why won't you see me or Ma or Leah or anyone? Because you know Dad was yell at you for what you've done? You know that he is turning over in his grave right now, looking at the two of us fight. You want to talk about becoming someone that's unrecognizable, why don't you look in the fucking mirror and see if you remember who you are," I spat.

"We can get wine next week," Leah whispered beside me. "Everyone will survive without it." I nodded curtly and turned my attention back to my brother.

"If you come near me, my family, or my friends, you'll regret it." I said nothing more to him. I gripped Leah, who was behaving remarkably well after everything that had happened, and started walking towards the car. Scott and Allie were shouting at us from behind, trying to get me to turn around and change my mind. It wasn't going to happen. I jerked Leah to a stop in front of her passenger door and gripped her jaw in my hand. "You okay?" I asked.

"You're going to ask the supernatural_ wolf _if she's okay?" she laughed. I knew that she was healed by now, but it didn't stop me from looking over her. I turned her face towards the sunlight, but I couldn't see anything on her face. "Are you happy yet?" she asked me. I leaned down and kissed her, pulling back a moment later with a slight smile on my face.

"I am now. Get in the car. I'll apologize to your mom," I said simply.

"Or you could just say that we ran into your brother and we decided to leave before one of us was arrested," she replied.

"I don't think that Charlie Swan would arrest us." She shrugged and pulled away from my hold on her. I held her door open for her before running around to my side to bring us over to the house. Seth was standing on the front porch, his arms crossed impatiently over his chest. "Can I help you?" I asked when Leah and I were walking up the stairs.

"Let's go swimming. It's warm enough," he said, jumping up and down like a toddler. Leah looked up at me, hopeful. She wouldn't leave me if I didn't want to go. I jerked my head towards the beach. Seth and Leah both took off at a sprint, acting like little kids for the first time since I had met them. "Mom's already there! Picnic at the beach!" he screamed behind his shoulder.

Once I'd sprinted to the beach and caught up with the rest of my family, Seth had stripped his shirt off and Leah was down to her bra and underwear. She smiled at me with a glimmer of seduction that set my heart going at breakneck speed. I jogged over to the beach wile pulling my shirt over my head.

Until I heard the gasp.

Leah didn't react anymore. She never had, in all honesty. But neither one of our mothers had seen my chest, my waist, my scars. Seth probably had in Leah's mind. He paid me no mind. He was already diving underneath the swell of the waves and happily splashing around. Sue and my mother were staring at me in disbelief, their eyes both swimming in tears. I stopped dead, instantly thinking to pull the shirt back over and cover the evidence. Unbeknownst to me, Leah had sprinted back to my side. "It's okay," she whispered, her hand coming up to my cheek. "They'll get used to them." She tugged on the fabric and ultimately pulled it away from my fingers, tossing it to the side where all of our things were. "You just have to give them the chance."

As she usually did, she brought her hands up to trace the scars. I shivered. "Where'd this one come from?" she asked, circling a mark on my collarbone.

"Cigarette," I muttered. I was still staring at our mothers, watching the two of them. They were waiting for me to come over, to explain what they were, where they'd come from.

"And this one?"

"Cat of nine." I remembered each of them, the day, the pain, the sound, the pain.

"And this?"

"Hot poker."

"You know them all Nate. And each one of them has made you the man that you are. Don't try to hide them, Marine." Her hand flattened out over my heart. "Go get in the water with Seth. I'll be right there."

"You don't have to -"

"Will you just trust me?" I snapped my mouth shut. She really didn't have to go and defend me. But the deathly glare on her face said that she wasn't going to change her mind. "Go get in the water with Seth and I'll be right there."

She waltzed over to our mothers and muttered something in their ears. Almost instantaneously, Sue's pitiful face disappeared and was replaced with a steely look. She took my mother's shoulders underneath her arm and steered her towards the picnic table she had all set up. And then she was turning to start running towards me and her brother. "It's weird to see them," Seth said, staring at me. I flinched a little. "It's cool." He just shrugged at me.

"Seriously? It's cool? That's what you've got for me?" I asked him. He just shrugged again.

"I mean, it's not like it's a big deal. You can't really change what's happened now. Besides, it's not like you got them because you did something shameful. You were a Marine. You got them because you were serving our country," he explained.

I was almost a little floored. I hadn't ever thought of it that way. My scars were a reminder of the fact that I hadn't been able to do my job. I had been caught, captured, tortured. I had failed. And yet, Seth was right in his own way. I hadn't revealed any of the information that I did know. I hadn't betrayed my friends, my brothers, my family. "You're smarter than you think, kid," I said, smacking his shoulder.

"You're way too serious. Have some fun," he said, sending a splash my way. I swam forward and gripped his shoulder, shoving him under the water. Leah's small hands came up to my shoulders and sent me under. The difference was that I was able to grab her ankle and pull her along with me. "See? Fun!"


	81. Chapter LXXX

**Author's Note: I hope you all enjoy. All I want to say is prepare yourselves! **

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**Chapter LXXX**

"No, no," I said, backing away from Leah and her squirt gun. "Don't you even think about it." She pressed down on the backend of the gun and sent the jet of water through the air. Into my face. I rushed forward and grabbed my girl about the waist, yanking her forward to my chest. She was giggling uncontrollably, wrapping her arms around my neck and threading her fingers through my hair. "You are pure evil"

"Wrapped in an adorable package," she laughed. I would have to agree with her there.

"You forgot the sodas?" Ma said from her spot by the table. It was kind of amazing how quickly our mothers had become best friends. They bickered like best friends that had known each other for ages. "Well, what are the children supposed to drink?"

"It's fine; we'll send Leah and Nate. Kids?" Sue shouted back at us.

"We're going Ma," I said, digging into my pocket to make sure that I had car's keys there. "Come on Leah." I started towards the car, knowing that it was a long walk, and toting Leah along with me. "God what are you? Part monkey?" I asked her. She made some sound like monkey and then jumped up wrapped her legs around my waist. "Well this brings back memories," I said then, wiggling my brows at her. She laughed and turned her face into my neck. I felt her tongue over my skin, goosebumps forming under her mouth. "If you give me a hickey, you're going to have to explain it to my mother."

The car came into sight then. I was almost tempted to place Leah in my lap and drive the car all the way to the store. I just didn't want to let her leave me. I dropped her to the ground at the other side of the car and opened the door for her. "Why do we have to drive anywhere?" she asked, wrapping her arms around my waist and pulling me against her. "I can think of other fun things that we could do."

"Get in the car, Leah," I said, tapping her ass and turning her to the car again. We drove in silence, but it was so comfortable that I couldn't bring myself to care. She had grown used to me coming to get her after I finished parking the car. She took off her seatbelt and sat in wait, her brown hair dripping water down her back. She took my hand and started walking alongside me. We danced our way down each aisle, Leah laughing when I started singing stupid Dean Martin songs to her. She would run ahead of me and turn around in a pirouette while I was carrying all the soda boxes that we had, two in each hand.

She sprinted forward again and slid to a stop at the end of the aisle. "Who are you?" he asked her. Leah slowly began backing away until she was by my side again. "You know her?"

"You should leave," I said. I stooped down and put the four boxes on the ground, taking Leah and placing her behind me. "No one wants you around here, James."

"I just want to talk to you," he said. He sounded like some desperate girl that had been broken up with. "You're not letting me explain what happened to me."

"I know what happened to you," I said curtly. He flipped his flannel shirt back out of his way. I noticed that his under shirt was stained and ugly but what really caught my attention was the gun in the waistband of his pants. Leah must have seen it too. She clutched my forearm with more force and sucked in a breath. I never took my eyes off the crazed man in front of me. "Go and tell people to start leaving," I murmured so quietly that James wouldn't hear me. "Your mom wants some win."

"I'm not leaving," she breathed back at me. "Of all the people in here, I'm the most equipped to deal with this."

"He's not here for you; he's here for me. Now get going." I gently pushed her towards the other end of the aisle, waiting for her footsteps to fade away so that I knew she was safe. "You've got me, James. I'm right here. Don't do anything stupid."

"You got to come home and have this great family and new friends. You know what happened to me?" I really didn't but we had been trained in hostile negotiations, especially those of our units. We were in a place that was covered with terrorists, with men that we had to talk to and negotiate with so that they wouldn't harm people. "None of my brothers would talk to me after I got back. Not my actual brothers, but my brothers from the Corps. And then my family found out what happened. My father is ashamed of me. My sister is afraid of me. And my mother? She doesn't know how to react. She defends me to everyone else and hates me to my face. Because of what my father thinks of me, I'm no longer welcome in their house."

"I'm sorry that happened to you, James," I replied.

"Are you really? You said yourself that we will never be friends again. You hate me now." It was all true, but I was shaking my head so that I didn't have to worry about him snapping. "You got to come home to this beautiful girl and have a great life." Because I'd made the correct decision. I'd chosen to do right by the men that I fought alongside for so long.

"It's not all roses, James. I didn't get to go home, remember? I'm from Montana. I moved to Forks to avoid being home," I replied. "It's not all fun and games. Everyone goes through their shit."

He pulled the gun, my words doing absolutely nothing to calm him down. Someone behind me skidded to a stop, the rubber of their shoes squeaking. "I was trying to make everything better for us!" he screamed. A small hand slid around my forearm, but I was too afraid to take my eyes off of James. "You had her go warn people, huh?" It was Leah. She hadn't left like I'd hoped she would. I should have known she wouldn't. "I was trying to keep everyone from feeling pain, from letting the other men torture you guys! And not one of you will forgive me."

"The other men are dead, James," I replied. I put my hand out and wrapped my arm around Leah's waist, pulling her fully behind me. It wasn't her that James wanted and I was going to keep as far from harm's way as possible. We didn't know what a bullet would do for her. And the last thing that we needed was for her body to try and heal around the metal round. Me? I'd had my fair share of bullet wounds. One more wouldn't kill me. "But I'm sure that they all understand that you were just trying to make it easier for us." I did really understand why he did it. I just couldn't fathom how someone could make the decision to torture his friends. I turned my head to the side and kept my eyes on James. "Leah, get out of here."

"I'm not going," she whispered. Her hands wrapped around my shirt. "You know better than to order me around."

"You still think that you can protect everyone? You still have that naive blind faith that you had all those years ago!" he screamed at me. "People are evil, Nate. How can you want to protect them? They do nothing but betray you and hurt you and leave you."

"Only when you wrong them," I replied. All thoughts of negotiating with him were gone. He wanted to use that gone. Nothing was going to stop him. "You don't want to hurt people, James. I know you. You don't want to do anything that would actually hurt innocent people."

"That's not what the Corps thinks. They think that I won't be able to control myself," he snarled. "Dishonorable discharge." Was that supposed to surprise me? It really didn't. There was nothing else that the Marine Corps could do with him now. "And you know who I have to blame for that? I have you! If you hadn't been alive at the end of it, then they wouldn't have found out." I balked. It was the last thing that I was expecting.

"I thought you wanted to be friends again?" Leah chirped from behind me. I smacked her thigh, wishing that I could swallow the sounds that she'd just made. James didn't need to be reminded that she was there.

"I did; but he doesn't want it. Right, Nate? You don't want anything to do with me, huh?" I trembled a little as he pointed the gun around us. "You think you're the great Marine, right? You think you can just go around saving people? You _ruined_ my life!"

"It was never what I meant to do," I promised him. "I'll help you get back on your feet, man. I'll help you." I just needed him to get away. The tension in the store was mounting.

"I know you're in here!" someone shouted. "I'm going to call the cops."

"The managed wouldn't leave," Leah whispered.

I nodded. "You called the cops? I thought you were this big bad Marine!"

"No one has called the cops. Okay? Leah is going to go talk to the man. I promise you she won't call for help." I nodded to Leah. I could feel her fighting with herself, trying to decide what to do. I nodded again, trying to tell her that it was all okay. She left and I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that she was outside of firing range. "Calm down, James."

"Calm down? Calm down? You ruined my fucking life!"

"I didn't mean to," I repeated.

"If you're not here," he said, the crazy in the air palpable, "then they'll let me back in." I was pretty sure that it didn't work like that, but right when I was about to try and talk him down, regretting my decision to forgo bargaining...

He fired.


	82. Chapter LXXXI

**Author's Note: I apologize for the cliff hanger. Here's the next chapter. For those who are interested, I will have Jared & Kim's story ****_Chivalry is Dead_**** and Seth's story ****_Falling with Style_** **up in the next week. Love and thanks, enjoy!**

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**Chapter LXXXI:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

I had to trust him. Nate knew what he was doing. He knew what he was doing. I repeated it over and over in my head but it didn't help me any. I still didn't want to leave him in that aisle with that crazy man. But I had to trust him. I squeezed his arms just a little before I left, backing out of the aisle so that I could keep my eyes on James. No wonder Nate was so cautious of him. I would be too. He had a look in his eyes like that of a wounded animal about to flee. And I have left Nate there with him. "You can't call the cops!" I screamed at the manager. "Please, you can't. He's got a gun and he'll shoot my fiancé. You can't."

"You want to protect one man over everyone in this store?" he asked me incredulously.

"There's no one else in this store. I got everyone else out," I said. "It's just us."

"What about the bathrooms?"

"I got it taken care of. Please, please, don't - -" A gunfire rang out and echoed in the store, reverberating off the linoleum floors. I felt the searing pain in my gut but it wasn't mine. "No!" I screamed. "No, no, no." Not Nate. It couldn't be him. Another shot pierced the air. It was enough to shake me out of my shock and send me flying at inhuman speed towards the aisle that we'd been in. "No, Nate, no!" I shouted. James was staring at his former friend, the gun still shaking in his hand. I raced forward and grabbed it, dodging bullet that was aimed towards me. I saw everything around me and nothing but red as I grabbed at the man who may have killed my imprint.

I heard and felt the satisfying crunch of his wrist as I snapped it. The gun clattered to the floor with the sound James' scream. "No, no, no," I shouted. I grabbed hold of his shirt and slammed him on the floor. "How could you do that?" I lost myself in my anger, wishing only to cause the man the pain that he was causing my imprint. "He was your friend. You killed him. You." I sobbed, tears streaming down my cheeks. "Killed. Him."

"Leah." The raspy voice shocked me. "Let him go, Leah." His breath hitched with a little grunt. I dropped the man down to the tile again and rushed over to his side. "I'm okay, Clearwater." He tried for a smile but all I got was a twitch and another groan.

"Call the police, please," I screamed. I found the wound in his shoulder and the one in his gut. He hissed when I pushed down on it, but I wanted to keep it from bleeding. "You got to stay with me, Nate. Okay?"

"I'm not going anywhere, Leah. I've had worse," he laughed. I could see the pain on his face. "We both know how long it's going to take the ambulance to get here, Leah," he breathed.

"They say they'll be here in a few hours; the ambulance is stuck in Port Angeles," the fat man said as he sprinted down to the aisle. His stomach jiggled and he was out of breath, but all I could focus on was an hour. I just had to keep him alive for a few hours. I couldn't do that. I had to it.

"Just get the top bullet out, Leah," Nate rasped.

"What?" I couldn't see with all my tears. "Nate, I can't." It would hurt him. And I wasn't a doctor. I didn't know how to get it out. "I can't; it'll hurt you. I can't be responsible for your death."

"I'm not going to die God damn it!" he screamed at me. I watched as he tried to push himself upright. I uncurled my legs and rested his head in my lap. I brushed his hair away from his forehead where beads of sweat had already formed. "I'll walk you through it Leah," he whispered. "But we don't know how long it's going to be. We have to get the bullets out."

"I am not digging around in your guts, Nathan Crowe!"

"Okay, Clearwater, not the one in my stomach. But you can get the one in my shoulder. It hurts like a bitch, Leah," he complained. "I'll help you get through it, okay?"

"I can't do it, Nate. I can't."

"You can, Leah. Now listen to me, okay?" He was panting for air, his eyes still slid shut and resting in my lap. "You need to get vodka and tweezers, okay? Get some of those dog bowls, the little metal ones. Pour the vodka in two of them and put the tweezers in one. Then go find a whole bunch of gauze and soak them in the other one." I couldn't do it. If it was anyone but my imprint, maybe I could. But this was my imprint, my soulmate. The man that I'm supposed to be with for the rest of my life. "Get some popsicle sticks or a dog chew toy, whatever you've got. Do you hear me?"

He wasn't Nate at this moment. He was the Marine. He was the man that had seen countless wounds and had to treat them in the middle of the desert. I couldn't answer him though. All I could see was his precious blood leaking out over the floor. "Leah!" he bellowed. I met his green eye. They looked a little dull, like he was ready to go to sleep. But I was afraid that he wouldn't wake up if I let him close his eyes. "You need to get the bullet out of my shoulder and check on the other one."

"Ch-check on it how?"

"If it went through, than we can clean it out and be finished. If not, we've got to clean it up and hope that it'll stay disinfected. I need your help, Clearwater." I couldn't do this. I could protect him from anything and everything, but I didn't know how to protect him from this. This was germs and infections and things that could take his life. Things that had already tried to take his life from me once before. "You can do this; I trust you. Leah, I need you." The words brought me out of my little pity party and my fear of losing him and reminded me that this was about him.

"I need you to get me vodka, and uh, uh, dog food bowls. Two of those. And then some gauze and, uh medical tape," I said to the manager, trying to remember all the things that he'd said to me.

"Tweezers," Nate muttered.

"And tweezers," I added. "And hand sanitizer, okay? Now." The fat man jumped up a little and started running away from me. "I'm here, Nate," I said to him then. "I'm going to take care of you. We're going to make sure that you're okay. But you can't leave me, Nate. I need you to talk to me, to walk me through this. I don't know what to do." His eyes were shut and I thought that he might be asleep. "I need a chew toy!" I shouted as I remembered.

"Got it!" the man screamed back to me.

"When I get you all set up, I'm going to take you to the hospital. But you are not allowed to leave. We have to get married. You promised me a happy fucking ending," I snarled.

"I heard you," he promised me. "I'm just resting a little bit before I have to walk you through it, okay?"

"I'm sorry," I replied. "I didn't mean to make you think that you should stay up and comfort me. I just don't want you to die."

"I'm not going anywhere, Leah. Just tell me when you've got stuff together," he replied. There was a strangled sigh and he breathed a little shallower. His heartbeat was still frantic but it was slowing down some. I chose to believe that was him relaxing, not him dying on me.

"I've got your stuff, miss," the man said as he came huffing down the way. "Here." He sank to the ground gracelessly but I didn't care. Keeping Nate's head in my lap, I poured out the vodka like he'd instructed and started soaking some of the bandages like he'd said. I pried open the tweezers and laid them in the bowl, doling out the alcohol until they were completely submerged. "I brought some water and zip ties as well, miss."

"Zip ties?" What did he think we were doing here?

"For James, Leah. Tie his wrists together behind his back," Nate said. I'll be fine here for a few minutes." I did as he asked, fighting the urge to kill him myself. I was quickly back beside Nate, kneeling at his ribcage. "Okay, you listening?" I nodded. His eyes peeked open so that he could look at me before he continued. "Use the dry pads to try and get some of the blood away. Then use the vodka ones to disinfect it all. After you get to where you can see everything, start digging around for the bullet."

"Could you use another word?" I begged. He coughed out a chuckle.

"Find the bullet and get it out, okay?" he amended. I nodded and reached behind me to grab the cotton. "Leah?" I turned back to his arm. It shot out and grabbed the back of my head. He pulled me down t him and kissed me roughly, his tongue swirling in my mouth. "You've got this, Clearwater. I love you."

With those words, he left me to my work.


	83. Chapter LXXXII

**Author's Note: No excuses, just apologies. Sorry that I haven't update. Happy Fourth of July, everyone! Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter LXXXII**

I opened my eyes to see determination flaring in Leah's. Good; she could do this if she could keep her focus. I kept my mouth drawn in a tight line so that I could keep control of my pain. The alcohol stung as it hit my open wound, dabbing and pushing while she cleaned. A groan sounded from my side, tempting me to lift my head. But I knew who it was just from the noise. "Leah, get him tied up, okay?"

"But the holes - -"

"Leah," I warned. She sighed audibly and gently lifted my head until I was lying on the ground again. "Don't hit him," I added when I remembered her temper. I could hear her heaving and snarling as she forced the man from the ground. I kept my eyes shut while she zipped the plastic tightly, the sound almost satisfying. And then she was by my side again, her lips finding their way to my temple. I helped her lift my head and settled it back in her lap. "Get going, Clearwater," I ground out. She breathed deeply and continued with her cleaning.

"So I was thinking that we should get married on the day that you were rescued from the camp," she began quietly, but I could hear the tightness of her voice. In the next moment, I felt her fingers against my shoulder. "It would only be fitting. Don't you -" she groaned and I'm sure she grimaced. "Don't you think?" I hissed as I felt her fingers begin to slide into the hole. "I, uh, I thought that it might mean something to your mother. You know, make the day something better than the day that you got out o hell. Make it something good." She made contact with the bullet, managing to shove it deeper into my skin. I snarled and tried to swallow the groan, but I couldn't. "I'm sorry, Marine. I'm so sorry. I'm real close, okay?"

"Just get it out," I managed to gasp out. She reached in again. The hand that wasn't buried in my flesh grabbed hold of my shoulder to keep me still and reached in again. She was stretching the wound trying to get two fingers in to pull it out. I could feel the screams in my throat, but I couldn't tell you if I was making any sounds. I was only focused on the pain, on trying to get it to end. Slowly, excruciatingly so, she began to back out, drawing the metal round with her.

"I've got it," she whispered then. Liquid sloshed behind me and then the stinging, searing pain. My lips trembled with the force of the pain. "It's out, okay, Nate?" I nodded again and again. "What now?"

"Dry and medical tape." If this was anyone else, I would have to say more. But there was no need to. Leah reached out and grabbed the dry bandages, pressing them against the wound while she fumbled for the medical tape. "Okay, okay," I said when she lifted me to wrap my shoulder. "Gentle." She nodded a little and tried to make the motion slower. Once it was all taped off, she lowered me back down to her thighs. "Okay, just give me a second," I said then. "I'm not going to stay conscious for much longer after you get the second one."  
"Don't talk like that. Of course you will," she said. You're going to be fine, Marine. I'm going to cover that other wound and then we're going to get you to a hospital." I nodded, just because I needed to give her some kind of hope. She needed to think that it was all going to be okay again. If she didn't, she would just give up. "I was thinking, after talking to our moms and everything, that we could wear, or I guess I could wear your mother's veil and my mother's dress. I've always wanted to be in my mother's dress."

"Whatever makes you happy," I groaned. "Just get this other wound cleaned up and then we'll talk more about it, okay?"

"Are you ready?" she whispered. I nodded. I could feel her trying to lift me and check for the exit wound, but the manager was still right there. She couldn't exactly act like I was a piece of paper. Her slender digits poked and prodded at me, both of them shoving down into my abdomen. I gave one thick, guttural scream. I tried desperately to swallow it, but I couldn't. It was just too much. "Nate!" I wanted to fight it, to tell her that I was going to be okay. But the darkness was crowding in, much like it had been back when I was in the desert. Back then it promised escape. It made certain that I couldn't feel the pain.

* * *

I don't know how long I was out, but when I opened my eyes I wasn't staring at the ceiling of a grocery store. There was a beeping off in the distance that made me want to scream. But it was quickly replaced by the feel of someone pressed against me and leaning over my chest. "Please open your eyes, Nate." It felt so reminiscent of the time that I'd had surgery those months ago. "You have to marry me," she screamed at me. "You have to! You promised me that you would give me a fucking happy ending. You told me that everything would be all right if I just got to the bullets out. I did exactly what you asking. Please don't leave me."

There was a kind of desperation to her movements that made me want to cry. "You selfish fucking bastard!" she screeched. "I wanted to give you everything! I wanted to have your kids and grow old and live the rest of my life with you! You can't leave me. You can't give up. Open you fucking eyes and tell me that you love me." A hot tear dropped on my chest, seeping through whatever shirt that I was wearing and stinging my chest like it always did. I wanted to gather her close and hold her until she finished crying. "Tease me about being a bitch. Who am I supposed to call an asshole? Tell me that I'm overreacting. Tell me that I'm being vindictive. You're the nice side of me, Nate. I'm your emotions and you're my conscience. Please, stop being a lazy asshole and open your eyes!"

I could feel more of her tears falling and hitting me again and again. I fought the grogginess and lifted my hand blindly until I felt her chin. "Nate?" she whimpered. I forced my eyes open and looked up at her. Chocolate swam in front of me, promising love and surrender for the rest of my life. "Oh my God, I'm going to kill you." Her hand came up to slap me lightly across the face. "Don't you fucking do that to me again." The other men that were around me suddenly focused in my sight. There were some EMT's and Sam. I didn't really have time to focus on why he was there.

I opened my mouth to find out where we were, how we managed to get out of there. But her mouth came down on mine. There was a certain mixture of fear, anxiety, love, and desire that mixed together and promised me joy. I tried to kiss her back, but every movement that I'd made felt like a thousand knives stabbing me. "Miss," a man said behind me. "Miss, please. He needs his rest." I felt a moan building in her throat and then she broke away from me. "We need to get him in to surgery."

Her fingers brushed the hair away from my face. "If you die on the operating table, I promise you that I will stab you with a scalpel." The men behind us sucked in tight breaths at her little threat, but they must have known that they were kidding. "I have too many years left to fight with you and make you try to hate me, Nathan Crowe. So don't you go trying to fuck all this up by dying. Do you understand me?" she demanded.

"Yes ma'am," I slurred.

"Miss, he really needs to get in surgery. He's lost too much blood as it is," a doctor interrupted. Leah pressed a kiss to my forehead and then one to my cheek.

"I love you, Nate. So quit being a selfish asshole," she demanded. The lady that was trying to usher my girl out of my way scurried between us and grabbed hold of the bars that were collapsed. She lifted them up and then moved away from us. She dragged the bed by the end railing and started dragging me to the hallway. She let Leah follow until we got to some doorways that were painted with yellow on them. "I love you," she called. "So you've got to stay alive for me."


	84. Chapter LXXXIII

**Author's Note: Anyone interested t find out why Leah was so mad yesterday...? Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter LXXXIII:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

"Just get this other wound cleaned up and then we'll talk more about it, okay?" He looked so pale. There was sweat beaded on his forehead and when he opened his eyes, there was no smile in the green depths.

"Are you ready?" I murmured. If he needed to rest more, I wanted him to do that. There was no reason for him to be trying to act all macho. He'd been shot twice, for Christ's sake, and he hadn't even cried. Most men couldn't make that claim. But he nodded and I knew that I couldn't argue with him at the moment. The second that I did, I would lose my concentration and start thinking about all the bad things that could happen while we were sitting here letting him bleed out on the tile. I wanted to roll him on his side, but there were a few problems. Fucking Tubby behind me would probably wonder where a _girl_ got the strength to push a guy Nate's size around like a feather. And I was afraid of hurting my imprint. He was in so much pain as it was.

So, instead, I gently stuck on finger and then another in the little hole. He didn't even try to swallow this scream. Instantly, I wondered if this is what he'd felt like the entire time. Knowing him, he probably hadn't wanted me to freak out or anything. It was blood curdling and heart breaking. I found the urge to sob and continued to dig. He'd told me before that stopping and starting once again was painful for him. Of course, back then he'd been talking about getting bullets pulled out in the desert, but I decided to take the statement and extend it to today's situation as well.

His eyes flew open while I was digging around in his stomach. And then they started to roll back. "Don't you dare, Nathan," I warned. But his eyes continued their ascent until all I could see were the whites. "Nate!" I screamed at him. I wanted to slap his cheeks, to make him think that there was a threat here that he had to stay for. But I couldn't. I wanted my imprint to know that he was safe with me. His body went slack and his head lolled to the side. "No, no, no!" I screamed at him. "Nate, come back!"

"Leah?" I never thought I'd have a moment where that voice was actually a relief to here. "Leah are you in here?" Sam came meandering down the aisle with a confused expression on his face. "What... Are you okay?" His question died when he realized that the blood he was smelling was Nate's; not mine. "What happened?"

"What are you doing here?" I stopped trying to find the bullet, convincing myself that it had gone all the way through him. "Why are you here?"

"Seth was down at the beach and I was talking to him about patrol stuff. He mentioned that you were gone with Nate, but you hadn't come back. When I got here, people said there was shooter," he explained. "That him?" He nodded towards the bloody heap that was James. I just nodded. "What happened?"

"Sam, I don't have time to talk to you. He's going to die! Please, I need your help," I begged him. I saw a look in his eyes that said that he didn't really care whether or not Nate died. "Please, Sam; I know you hate Nate. I know that you think you still love me."

"I do still love you, Lee-Lee," he replied.

"If you love then you will help me save him. Please, Sam. I love him. He's my imprint. Think about what it would do to you if Emily died. I would help you, Sam. No matter how much I hate you, I would help you. You have to save him!" I would have done just about anything to get him to say yes. I just needed Nate to be safe. "Please, Sam." I could feel a tear starting to roll down my cheek but I couldn't move. I needed him to help me. I needed him to save my imprint.

"What do you need me to do?" I breathed a sigh of relief.

"The ambulance is hours out. I need to get him in your truck, in the bed. I'll hold him still and we can drive him in," I explained.

"Are you sure that's the best idea, Leah? He's lost a lot of blood?"

"What would do if it was Emily?" He silenced immediately. "Do you have any flats in the back of the store?" I asked Tubby. He nodded. "I need one and a forklift. We'll put him on that and drive him out towards the truck so that we don't have to jostle him around to much." Sam nodded and the manager scurried off to get the things that I'd requested.

Ten minutes later, I was questioning my decision. Regardless of the fact that I'd cleaned and dressed both wounds, there was blood dripping from his shoulder and even more from his stomach. Sam clambered into the back of the truck while the manager lifted the machine to the same level. Sam then heaved him back into the bed of the pickup, leaving him on the flat. I grabbed some of the straps that we used to secure furniture that was being moved and tied Nate down as tightly as I dared. With a nod to Sam, we were on our way. "You listen to me, Nathan Crowe. You will not die. You've beaten death before and I expect you to do it again. Do you understand?" A moan was my response, but I wasn't sure if it was him hearing me or if it was because of all the movement. I clung to the hope that he was listening to me and held tight to the wooden flat while we drove.

Sam must have called ahead because there was a brigade of people waiting for us at the hospital. Most of them were men that would be able to pick up and move my imprint with ease. "Patient?" a female doctor asked. I felt guilty for hoping that Dr. Fang would be there to take care of him. I just wanted someone that understood how important my imprint was to me.

"His name's, uh, he's Nathan Crowe. Twenty-three," I supplied.

"Leah!" Seth appeared at our side. I don't think I'd ever been so excited to see my baby brother. I tried to smile to him, but I wanted to make sure that Nate was taken care of first.

"He's, um, he - - He's allergic to penicillin," I said then. By the time that I had realized what was happening, they had moved him to a stretcher and began wheeling him into the hospital. Another lady was sticking something onto his chest but I wasn't focused on that. I was focused on Nate.

They pulled us into a side room and began setting up heart monitors and other things to tell us if he was still alive. "Anything else?" the doctor asked.

"He - - he hates his middle name," I began. The woman looked at me and then realized that I was beginning to freak out. "He thinks that dressing dogs up is stupid. He wants a new tattoo. He's covered in scars and - - and - - and." I could feel myself starting to sob then. Warm arms turned me around and covered my eyes with his chest.

"He's going to be okay, Leah," Seth promised. When had my little brother grown up into such a man? When had he become this? I didn't really care about the when. Right now, I was more than grateful for it. I heard the sound of scissors behind me while they began cutting away all my work to get him free.

"He's crashing!" someone shouted. People started grabbing at his body, trying to get all of his vitals back to what they should be. "Get an O neg started," she commanded.

"B positive, Seth," I muttered, wanting more than anything to turn around. Seth held me firm, though. I hadn't realized that he had grown so much stronger than me. He kept me against his chest.

"Ma'am, he's B positive," he said louder.

"You're certain?" I nodded and Seth reiterated the affirmation.

My brother's hand ran up and down my back. When I finally managed to look up, I noticed that Sam's hands were in the fray, pressing down against the wound in his abdomen. "We're not going to let him die, Lee," he said. I'm not sure if anyone else heard it, but I realized what it meant. He was realizing that I was nothing to him and he was nothing to me. He realized that we both had our own lives to live. I nodded towards him. And then the room was met with the most irritating monotone sound. There was no beeping, no more rhythm to follow. There was only one long, never ending sound.

And death.


	85. Chapter LXXXIV

**Author's Note: Here you guys go! Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter LXXIV:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

The doctor began trying to get his heart to start again. I ripped away from Seth's embrace and stood at the foot of my imprint's gurney. "No," I muttered. "No, Nate, no," I muttered. I could feel my eyes welling up with tears. Seth's arms were wrapped around my waist from behind, trying to pull me back against his chest. "You can't do this to me!" He promised that he was going to give me my happily ever after. That was what we had decided.

"You might want to remove her from -" the doctor began.

"He's not dead," I snarled at her. She fell silent, but the pitiful look on her face spoke volumes. "He's not! Open your eyes, Nathan!" I screamed. The beeping that I was praying for didn't come back. His eyes didn't even twitch. "Wake up, Marine! Wake up!"

"Miss -"

"No!" Beeping started suddenly. Even the doctor seemed shocked. "Please open your eyes, Nate. You have to marry me." I was fucking sick and tired of all the pitiful looks that I was getting from everyone in this room. "You have to! You promised me that you would give me a fucking happy ending," I sobbed. "You told me that everything would be all right if I just got the bullets out. I did exactly what you asked. Please don't leave me." Seth's thumbs whispered over my waist as he tried to comfort me but I wasn't having any of it. Nate just had to wake up. How hard was that? It wasn't hard. He could do it. "You selfish fucking bastard!"

The room went still at the scream that erupted from my chest. "I wanted to give you everything. I wanted to have your kids and grow old and live the rest of my life with you! You can't leave! You can't give up." He'd never given up before. He wouldn't do it now. He _couldn't. _I rushed away from Seth and up to Nate. His heartbeat was getting stronger and stronger each moment. "Open your fucking eyes and tell me that you love," I begged of him. "Tease me about being a bitch. Who am I supposed to call an asshole? Tell me that I'm overreacting. Tell me that I'm being vindictive." He could do anything and everything that I hated as long as he opened his eyes. "You're the nice side of me, Nate. I'm your emotions and you're my conscience." He finished me. "Please, stop being a lazy asshole and open your eyes!"

I buried my face in the crook of his neck, sobbing with abandon now. And then he moved. His rough fingers wrapped around my chin and tilted it back. "Nate?" My voice broke three times in the single syllable but I didn't have control of anything. Because in the next moment, he opened his eyes and looked at me. Most fiancees would have cried and told their men how much their loved them. But that just wouldn't be my style. "Oh my God, I'm going to kill you," I whispered. I slapped his face lightly. "Don't you fucking do that to me again."

All those people who doubted his strength suddenly crowded around me, trying to get him stable again so that they could send him off to surgery. They were going to take him away from me again. And even though I knew it was for the best, I was fighting the anxiety that coming up in my stomach. I did the one thing that had always calmed me. I kissed him. I could feel him trying to kiss me back, but his movements were lethargic. "Miss," one of the orderlies said. "Miss, please. He needs his rest." Or he would die. He hadn't said it, but I'd heart it loud and clear. I whimpered and kissed him a little rougher but ultimately pulled away. "We need to get him to surgery." I nodded and pushed his hair away from the face that I loved, pale as it was.

"If you die on the operating table, I promise you that I will stab you with a scalpel," I vowed. It was a wonder that the hospital had yet to call security with all the threats and curses and I had sent his way. "I have too many years left to fight with you and make you try to hate me, Nathan Crowe. So don't you go trying to fuck all this up by dying. Do you understand me?" I tried to put as much order in my voice as possible, trying to make sure that he couldn't make any argument.

"Yes, ma'am," he managed.

"Miss, he really needs to get in surgery. He's lost too much blood as it is," the woman who had been pitying me for so long said. I didn't need her to tell me how much blood my imprint lost. She hadn't been sitting there watching his life pool around him on the tile. I nodded to her, though.

I kissed his forehead and then his cheek, watching his eyes light up a little despite the fading color in his face. "I love you, Nate," I muttered. "So quit being a selfish asshole." The doctor and her nurses wriggled their ways between me and Nate to start moving him towards an operating room. Someone might have told me that I wasn't allowed to go. In truth, I didn't hear them. But once I saw the bright yellow lines painted on the double doors, I knew I was going to have to stop. "I love you," I said when he was pulled to a stop. If they were willing to let me say goodbye, things had to be better than we thought... Or worse. They might be letting me say goodbye because they knew it would do no good to try surgery. "So you've got to stay alive for me."

I stared at the doors and just continued watching. The swinging stopped after a little while he'd disappeared, but I didn't move. Not until Seth wrapped his arms around my waist and started to pull me away. "One of the other doctors said that it'll be a few hours. We could go get lunch or something," he suggested. I leaned back completely against my brother. "He's going to be okay, Leah."

"We don't know that." He'd already died once before. His heart stopped, his breathing stopped. He was gone from me for a few minutes.

"You knew he would come back," he said. "You could feel it. You have to remember the imprint, Leah. You know what's good and bad with him."

"I have a bad feeling about this surgery," I replied.

"Then why don't we take your mind off of it for a few minutes," Sam suggested. I turned towards the man that I thought I was going to love for the rest of my life. He was so different from Nate. They weren't even the same _class_ of man. At least, in my eyes. Emily probably wouldn't be too comfortable with Nate's brand of teasing either.

"What in God's green Earth do you think would do that?" I asked him miserably.

"James is awake," he said.

It was al the I needed to hear. I started marching down the hallways with a purpose. I didn't even know what room the monster was in. But I was going to find him and I was going to rip him apart. "Left!" Sam shouted from behind him. "Right," he called when I got to the next hallway. "Two thirty-one." I nodded and threw the door open, hoping that there was no one in there to keep me from him. He was lying immobile on the bed, blonde and pale and evil incarnate. He would have to be literal evil in order to have done the things that he was saying that he wanted to do. "Leah no!" he screamed right as I lunged at the man lying in the bed.

Sam's arm wrapped encircled me and kept my from my target. "You fucking bastard!" I screamed, but I wasn't sure whether I was yelling at Sam or James. If it was Sam, it would be for holding me back. And I really don't think I need to explain my motives for killing James. "You killed him! You killed him!" I was thrashing in Sam's arms wishing that they were Nate's.

"He's not worth it, Leah," Seth tried to tell me.

"But Nate is! This man shot him!"

"We know." The authoritative voice was one that I knew well, but not one that I was used to hearing in the last few weeks. "And he'll be justly punished for it Leah," Charlie Swan assured me. Justly punished in prison? Given the right to live out the rest of his life? I had never been one for capital punishment, but looking at the man's sleeping face at the moment, I would be just fine with a lethal injection. "Mrs. Crowe is in the lobby, Leah."

"Come on, Lee," Sam said, trying to pull me along. But I just wanted blood. I wanted retribution for my imprint. "His mother needs you, Lee-Lee. What would Nate want you to do?" He was right, of course. Nate would want me to be there for his mother and tell her that it was going to be okay like I had when he had surgery. So I nodded and headed out to the lobby of my own volition.

I paused on the doorway and turned to look back at Sam. "Thanks for this, Sam," I said. It was probably the first nice statement that I had said to him since our breakup. I had told Nate that I didn't hate him anymore. But as I walked away from that hospital room, I realized that this was the real moment where I didn't feel anything for him. I didn't hate him, I didn't love him. And I could be...nice to him.

If only Nate could see it...


	86. Chapter LXXXV

**Author's Note: ****_Falling With Style_**** and ****_Chivalry is Dead_**** are both up and going. Please read if you're interested. Enjoy!**

**Chapter LXXXV**

The last thing that I remembered was the anesthesiologist telling me to count to ten. I don't think that I made it past three. I knew that I was dreaming for most of the time that I was out, but waking up was harder than I had imagined. In my dreams, Leah was happy and smiling, bouncing a little girl with Leah's angular features and my mother's green eyes. Our little girl would tease like Sue and laugh like Seth. I wanted that; I wanted to stay in that world. But if I wanted to make that world a reality, I was going to have to wake up.

When I finally managed to pry my eyes open, I thought that I might still be dreaming. A dark haired beauty sat in the chair next to my bed. The annoying beeping wouldn't go away and her eyelids fluttered with each sound. The bangs that needed to be cut flirted with the little beauty spot below her eye. I knew from experience that her hair was smooth and soft. I lifted my hand to stroke her hair but the rustling of the sheets got her to sit up straight. "Hi," she murmured. The quiet word didn't seem to be enough for either of us, but it was what we had for the moment.

"Hi," I returned. Her clothes were rumpled and the same ones that she'd been wearing since our beach picnic with our mothers. I couldn't have been out too long them. "How you doing, Clearwater?"

"You had some complications just from the blood loss, but other than that, they think that you're going to be okay," she replied. I frowned.

"That's nice to know, but I asked how _you_ were feeling."

"I know, but I felt like it was stupid of you to be asking me after you'd just been shot and had surgery. So I chose to tell you how your surgery went instead." She was something, this wolf of mine. "You gave us a scare there, Marine," she replied.

"I didn't mean to," I said by way of apology. She laughed at me. "Come here."

"Nate, you just woke up."

"I don't care. Come here." She didn't move. How long had I been out? Exhausted as I was, I reached up to the sensor that was on my chest, pulling it away from the skin.

"What are you doing?"

"If you won't come to me, I'll just have to come to you," I explained. I tried to push myself upright so that I could better reach the little pad, but Leah pressed me back down. I gently moved myself over to half of the bed and let Leah move herself onto my mattress. "Smart choice," I coughed out.

"You're such an asshole," she accused. She curled herself on her side so that I had as much room as possible and then laid her head down on my chest, just below my injured shoulder. "But at least you're alive."

"I wasn't going anywhere," I promised her. "Remember all the promises I made? I don't go back on my word, Leah."

"Tell that the the heart monitor that pronounced you dead three days ago," she replied. Her voice was quiet but there was a steeliness to it that made me want to cringe. "You scared the shit out of me, Nathan." I hated when she used my full name. It made me fee like a little boy getting in trouble by his mother. "I thought I was going to lose you. I don't know what I would do if Sam hadn't come around." Did I just hear her right? Did she say that she was thankful that _Sam _had come around?

"You're going to have to repeat that. I think the drugs might be going to my brain or something." She laughed at me and gently rubbed her cheek against my hospital gown.

"Sam saw Seth at the beach. He wanted to explain patrol stuff to us but Seth said we were down at the market. If he hadn't gone there, I never would have gotten you here. You could have bled out there on the floor," she explained. I had never heard Leah speak so kindly about her ex-boyfriend. I knew it had finally happened; Leah had finally gotten to the point that Sam was nothing to her. He wasn't someone that she hated or loved. He wasn't someone that she cared about anymore. He was literally nothing to her. This was all I had been waiting for.

"I love you, Leah." I hissed in pain, feeling the sting of stitches in the wounds. Without using me for leverage at all, Leah pushed herself more upright and grabbed the pain medicine dispenser. She pressed the little button on the end. All too soon, the slow, icy creep of morphine began crawling up my veins. Leah leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead. I tried to pull her back down, but the weight of the drugs kept me from holding her still. "Stay," I whispered.

"I'm not leaving, Marine."

"Stay on the bed," I explained. She cuddled herself against my side, resting her head on part of my pillow to avoid my wounds. I rested my head against hers, feeling like I was truly at home. And I was; as long as Leah was right here with me, I could be at home anywhere. I sighed, not caring about the pain that came with the motion.

"I think I quite like it when you beg," she whispered.

"Don't get used to it." The words came out like slurred garbage. But Leah smiled, moved my robe aside, and kissed the skin that was being pulled together by my stitches.

"We both know I've got your wrapped around my pretty little finger, Marine." I snorted so that she would know that I disagreed with the statement. But the reality of it was that she had me just as whipped as she said. And I was okay with that. "You're tired, Nate. Quit being so damned stubborn and go to sleep." I loved the girl. She acted like she didn't care about other people, but she had one of the most tender hearts of anyone I had ever met. Everything came out like a command, but if you were listening to her you could hear the concern in her voice.

I would have gone to sleep much quicker if I had known what was going to happen when I woke up. Sue was standing by my left side. Ma was standing on my right. And Leah? Clearwater was standing at the foot of my bed with Seth and Sam on either side of her. That was going to take some getting used to. Seth leaned over and whispered something in his sister's ear. She nodded but didn't turn around to look at me. "You think that you know what's best and you convince yourself that you're doing good things for your brother," she said. It wasn't he shouting Leah that I was used to when she was talking with my brother. No, this was a deadly voice that was quiet and leaking acid.

"The man showed up at the house and said he was looking for my brother. What did you want me to do?" Scott asked. Couldn't I recover in peace for a day? "He said he was an old Marine buddy and was trying to get back in touch with Nate."

"Did you even bother to ask him why they'd lost contact in the first place?" Seth asked then. I knew that he would know about James from Leah's thoughts and their time as wolves. But the last thing that I'd expected was to have Seth say anything.

"Nathan has a bad habit of writing people off," Allie said then. "It's hard to tell if there's a reason behind his temper tantrums."

Temper tantrums? That was probably not the correct phrase to use. "Tantrum?" Leah screeched. Clearly she agreed with me. "You think it's a tantrum? You guys went behind his back and got hitched. And that man that you brought here, his friend that you thought you should bring here: he tortured your brother in the Middle East. He's the reason that Nate came back as messed up as he is. They didn't _lose_ contact, Dick." My lips twitched a little at her name for my brother. "He was dishonorably discharged for torturing and _killing_ his brothers in arms. And you two, the all knowing power of the world, brought that man here."

"Leah," Seth warned. I'm sure she was losing control. In all honesty, my eyes had drifted closed again while I let her yell at my family.

"What, Seth?" she snapped. I frowned. She didn't have to yell at Seth. He was just trying to be nice. "You think that I should be nicer? Should I go easy on them? Too fucking bad." I swallowed the laugh that threatened. It would only draw attention to me and cause pain. "I'm sure you tow jackasses will think of some excuse that makes sense to you. But the reality is, Nate is in this hospital and in this bed because you two are too selfish to let him go. He doesn't want to be around you. He won't want to until you guys can stop pulling all this shit. So get out of here and don't come back, or kill him. Just know that if you pick the second option, you won't succeed."

She didn't finish the sentence, but I heard her threat in the end. If they tried, the Pack would kill them. Scott and Allie wouldn't know what that would mean, but the growls that rumbled in Sam and Seth's throat said that they agreed with her. "Get the fuck out," Seth said. There was a breath sucked in at my right.

Of course, to my left, there was an astonished, "Seth!" from Sue. "Language." After all that Leah said... we'll yell at Seth for language.

That's my family for ya.


	87. Chapter LXXXVI

**Author's Note: There will be no chapters for _Falling With Style_ or _Down to Nothing_ while I catch up on things over here. Sorry about the last few days. It's been a little crazy. Here you all go! Enjoy!**

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**Chapter LXXXVI**

"You want to stay at your mother's?" I asked her a few days later. James was handcuffed in his own room, not allowed visitors. He would be going to jail for the rest of his life. Everything was going to be just fine once I was completely out of here. "How is that going to change anything? We've only lived at our house like a week before all of this happened. I don't want to go and live with our parents again." That was the whole point of us moving to our own place.

"I have patrols to run and crazy vampires to prepare for. I can't just sit around and watch you all day long, Nate. You need to be with people that can take care of you while I'm not around," she replied. She gripped me on the underside of my upper bicep, just short of my armpit .

"I don't need your help," I growled, yanking my arm away from her. She glared at me ad dropped her hold.

"Then you just let me know what you need from me, Nathan Crowe. I forgot that I was here as a servant," she snapped. I knew in that instant that I'd hurt her feelings. It wasn't my intention. But a man couldn't be expected to recover when he had a woman fussing over him and treating him like an infant. "But whenever you're ready for me, Mr. Crowe, please give me a call. I'm at your beck and call."

She didn't turn around after that. She marched out the door and let the heavy portal swing shut with a loud clap. "Leah," I called while she was walking out but I was too late. "Leave it to me to fuck it all up," I muttered. I just didn't want her to think of me as some weakling. I was already weaker than her physically. She didn't need a pussy fiancé. I would just have to show her how strong I was.

It took me a good ten minutes just to be able to stand up. The doctors had switched me over to a portable drip set so that I could begin walking around again. Leah had brought some of my sweat pants up from the house and, against hospital regulation, I was wearing them instead of that embarrassing gown and robe. It took me another five minutes to get myself prepared for the pain that would come with walking.

I had been shot before but it would never cease to amaze me how a bullet to the gut could effect all of you. I guess that's why they called that area your core. The one in my shoulder would kill my arm if I tried to do too much with it. But the damn round that had hit my stomach made it difficult for me to raise my arms over my head or for me to hold myself erect. Not that it mattered. I was going to endure whatever I had to so that I could apologize to her for my idiocy.

I knew where I would find her. She liked to stand in front of the nursery and look at all the new babies. I'm sure it was her not-so-subtle way of telling me that she wanted kids some time soon. I was more than willing to oblige once we were married. In my head, I mapped out the walk to the nursery. Four turns. I could do four turns and a couple hundred feet of walking. Probably.

"Mr. Crowe, you're not supposed to be out of your room without supervision," a nurse said when she got me getting my breath at a little side sitting room.

"My chaperone's just over there," I said, waving my hand in a general direction. "I'm just testing my limits, ma'am. I'll be careful." She looked a little worried that I was going to hurt myself but I gave her my most charming smile. She beamed back at me and went on her merry way.

After a few minutes' rest, I pushed myself upright again and began the walk down to my girl. She had her arms crossed over her chest, her tank top clinging to her in all the right ways. I could see tear tacks glistening on her cheeks in the white hospital lighting. I told myself to walk all the way up to her and hold her close. But I had fucked up. I didn't know why she was crying but I was more than likely the cause of it. So I cleared my throat sheepishly a few feet from her.

She turned her head, her neck cracking with the motion. "What are you doing out of bed?" she demanded.

"Apologizing." I hobbled closer until I could feel the heat of her against me but I still didn't touch her. "I do need you Leah. I just didn't want you to be coddling me." Fire flashed in her beautiful eyes. "Why are you crying Clearwater?" I reached out and touched her face, brushing away the hair that was clinging to the wetness.

Apparently that was all it took for her to crumble. She stepped closer and fisted her hands around my shirt and sobbed. I held back a groan at the discomfort of having her against my wounded shoulder. "I almost lost you," she mumbled into the fabric. "And all I want to do is make sure nothing hurts you." I'd hurt her. My words had cut deep. My dad used to tell my mom to stop coddling him. A real man didn't need a woman to love on him while he healed. Made a man soft. But do you know where my dad is now Nate? He's dead because he wouldn't let Ma make him eat salads and fish and chicken. He's dead because he lived by your philosophy for years."

I drew her tight into my chest then, rubbing my fingers over her spine with my bad hand. "Sh, Clearwater." She clawed at my chest then like I was what she needed to breathe.

"I can't lose you, Nate," she begged me. "I just -"

"I'm so sorry, Clearwater." I rested my cheek on her hair and just continued to lightly pet her back. "I didn't mean to make you feel like I don't need you. I just didn't want you to look at me and think that I'm incapable of taking care of myself." But I could see now that my anger at my healing had hurt the person that I cared most about. "I promise to let you love on me as much as you'd like. I just want to recover first."

"But -"

"I'm not going anywhere Leah. I promise." That seemed to snap her out of her little daze. "Now why don't you help a worthless cripple back to his room?" She nodded and wrapped her arm around my waist, letting me lean on her.

"You know you're supposed to be using a cane," she chastised, wiping a hand underneath her eyes.

"I think I'd much rather keep hold of you," I said slyly. She blushed and rubbed her cheek against my shoulder. "You know that I'm not going anywhere, right Leah?" She nodded. I hissed in pain while we made the next turn. She tightened her hold on me and supported me while I sat a little while longer. "Come on."

"Why did you do something as stupid as walking around to find me?" she demanded when we were moving again. "You know that it hurts you."

"I don't like you being angry at me," I said simply. I would have gone through so much more if that's what it took for her to be okay with me again. "I really am sorry, Leah. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I wasn't trying to make you feel like I don't need you. I do." If she only knew how much I needed her. She was the only one that understood what I was thinking, what i was feeling. She was the only one who understood what I was saying when the words wouldn't come out of my mouth. "I know, I mean, I guess I think would be the right word, but I - -"

"Breathe," she said. "No need to get all tongue tied."

"You're stronger than me, Leah. I mean, obviously you're physically stronger. But you also deal with things better than I do most of the time." I didn't want to finish my rant. It would mean admitting that she should look for someone that could protect her. The last few times that I had tried, I had only ended up getting both of us hurt.

"You better not be telling me what to do, Nathan Crowe," she growled, staring me straight in the face. "Besides the fact that I _hate_ being bossed around," her hard eyes softened, "I love you. I want you. I don't want anyone elseI will _never_ want anyone else." She reached up to kiss me sweetly. "You're stronger than you think, Nate." I smiled at her, eagerly dreaming about our wedding. "Now get back in that bed or I'll pick you up and put you there."

"Way to make me feel strong, Clearwater."


	88. Chapter LXXXVII

**Author's Note: I just want to thank whoever it was that nominated me for the Energize W.I.P. award. I'm sincerely touched. If anyone is interested in voting, the polls close on Saturday. Enjoy the chapter! Love & Thanks!**

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**Chapter LXXXVII**

Leah's desire to have an engagement part kind of flew out the window in the weeks after my accident. July came and went; August found us enjoying our new house more than ever. Leah couldn't have been more excited about the place. She talked about little things that she found to her liking everyday. But of everything, the kitchen was clearly her favorite. I woke in the morning, six weeks after the accident, completely alone in bed. Leah was always in bed when I woke. It was an unspoken agreement between the two of us. If one woke before the other, we just stayed awake and waited. Granted, it was usually me that woke first but on the occasions that it was Leah, she would wait.

I rolled out of bed with a great yawn, cracking y back. Bacon wafted through the air, mingling with the smell of Leah's lavender body wash as I got closer. I don't think there is anything else that I needed in life. "Good morning," she said with a bright smile. She lifted a mug to me, the coffee colored just the way that I loved it. "I'm making omelets," she added. I narrowed an eye at her. Leah loved to cook - - if it wasn't breakfast. She hated breakfast. In her mind, the only thing that people were supposed to eat for breakfast was coffee and some form of bread.

"What's going on?" I asked her.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she replied with just a little too much innocence. "I was just trying to make you breakfast."

"You hate breakfast."

"I do not. It's the most important meal of the day." I eyed her suspiciously. She smiled back at me like she didn't have anything at al to tell me. That was strike number one. She _always_ had something to talk about. Quiet Leah Clearwater, the bitch who didn't give a fuck what anyone had to say, wasn't actually so quiet. I stared at her with my eyebrows up in my hairline and a knowing smirk on my lips. She lifted her coffee mug to her lips and looked up at the sky while she took a long draw. I just continued to stare at her. "Okay," she gave up. "So Jake and Ryanne are putting together the end of the summer bonfire. It's supposed to be Jake's first big debut as Alpha and all that jazz. It's supposed to be wolves and imprints."

There it was. She knew that I wasn't going to want to go. The last one that we'd gone to hadn't ended so well. In retrospect, it could have gone worse. I ended up with Leah at the end of the night and we talked about our fathers _and_ Sam. It _was_ the first time that she'd invited me somewhere that was truly important. But none of that meant that I wanted to go sit through another bonfire again. "Just hear me out, okay?" she begged. Well, how could I not when she was looking at me with those big brown eyes. "It will be different this time. See, last time, I hadn't told anyone that I was bringing you with me. I hadn't even told anyone that I had imprinted. And back then, I still thought that I hated Sam. I thought that he was worth that emotion. He's not, though. And I know that."

"That's not going to change the way that everyone treated me then, Leah," I said.

"But they know you better now. You've worried alongside the imprints and hung out with the guys. They know you now. It won't be like it was last time," she insisted. I could see that this was important to her. She needed her Pack; she needed her brothers. No matter how independent Leah tried to be, she still loved the guys.

"Fine; we'll go," I said. I couldn't take her staring at me like I was the end all to the world. I sighed again. "When is it?"

"Tonight."

"Tonight? You thought you'd bring this up _today_?"

"I thought you'd handle it better now than earlier," she answered. I just stared at her. "Fine, I was afraid," she blurted. "I was afraid of what would happen if I tried to mention it earlier."

I sighed again. "We should probably go to the store and find something for us to bring, huh?" I asked her. Her eyes lit up like the fireworks show on the Fourth of July.

"Have I told you lately that I love you?" she asked me.

"Not since last night," I said with a wiggle of my eyebrows. She blushed and look away from me, down at the counter. "What do you want to bring over there?"

"We don't have to; Ryanne said that they've got everything covered," she replied. "We just have to show up." I marched around the island counter and wrapped my arms around her, careful to avoid the stove in front of us. I dropped my chin down to her shoulder. "Thank you for this," she said. "I know that you don't like being around all of them."

"I just feel like it's another reminder that I'm not good enough to be with you," I explained.

"Quit your whining, Marine," she said, but even as she said it she turned her mouth to kiss me. "We'll head over there after lunch with our mothers."

I wasn't very happy later that night when we had started our walk to the beach. "Stop your sulking," she said. "It's going to be better than your expecting, I promise." I just grumbled under my breath. Leah dropped back behind me, stooping down to tie her shoe. Or, at least, I thought she was. She ran towards me and leapt on my back, sending me stumbling forward. She locked her arms around my neck.

I tripped down the beach, Leah laughing the entire way. I caught sight of Sam with his arms wrapped around Emily's waist. He didn't even seem to notice that we were walking in. Quil had that little girl on his shoulders, but I didn't focus too much on that. I didn't understand imprinting well enough to make any comment about Quil and the toddler. Paul, who happened the be the wolf I understand the best, was sitting with his imprint between his knees. After everything that happened to her, he was really hesitant to let her go. But no where near as hesitant as Embry.

Penn, his imprint, looked happy enough. I had helped him a few weeks back when she'd been attacked. I didn't know much about the girl, but I knew that a man had attacked her at her work. A man who thought that it was okay to hit a woman was barely a man at all. The men had gotten together and phased into wolves. I guess that had been the real turning point in my relationship with the wolves. There were a lot of things that the guys could do, but there were some that I was better suited to.

I would just have to keep telling myself that just because I wasn't a wolf didn't mean that I wasn't as strong. Jared and Kim were sitting together too, but they just looked like a happy old couple. From what I could tell, they had a very classic romance. I envied them; I envied the lake of difficulty that their imprint came with. Or, at least, I didn't see much difficulty. But I wasn't one to judge.

Everyone teased Ryanne and Jake for their open displays of affection. I found it a little funny; all of us were overly affectionate. There was no one way about it. Leah and I settled onto a log where Emily brought us some food. She smiled at us. Leah returned it and nestled deeper into my chest. We would truly get to move on with our lives. "I'm going to go and talk to Emily really quick," she said suddenly. I nodded and let my hands drop from my waist. It was like a swap out, though. Leah met up with her cousin and Sam dropped down to my side.

"You were right, you know," he said quietly, watching the girls. I couldn't know what was going on, but Emily was smiling gloriously. Leah didn't look as overjoyed as her former best friend, but there was a slight smile on her lips. "I never did deserve her."

"That's where you still don't get it," I said. "I was never saying that I deserved her and you didn't. _Neither_ one of us deserve her. She's too good for me to even touch. I'll never understand why she loves me, but she does." He nodded along with me, looking deep in contemplation. "I think any man that truly loves his girl will have the same thoughts. Don't you?"

"You're smarter than I thought, jughead," he said.

"Yeah, well, you're stupider than I thought." He lightly punched my arm.

"You know what she's saying over there?" he asked, nodding towards Leah.

"I rarely know what's going on in her head."

"I think any man that truly loves his girl will have the same thoughts." Maybe he wasn't as bad as I'd always thought.


	89. Chapter LXXXVIII

**Author's Note: I am so sorry that it has been so long. In the next few days, I'll have a double update to make it up to you guys. I honestly can't even give you all my excuses in order to make up for it. I'm appalled at how long it's been. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter LXXXVIII:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

He was finally stopping his sulking. I knew that coming to this bonfire wasn't going to be easy for him, especially after the disaster that had happened at the last one. He marched down the beach with me on his back, his feet sinking down in the sand. He was struggling to keep his balance and keep us upright which had me laughing the whole way down. Sam had his arms wrapped around my cousin, but for the first time in years, I didn't feel any pang of jealousy. The Pack was scattered around the fire, each wolf with his imprint. The loners, as I had taken to calling them, were off playing football. It was like listening to boulders clashing.

Nate dropped down onto a single open spot on the log, pulling me onto his lap and resting his hands on my sides. The hostess in Emily rushed forward with some plates in her hands. She smiled at us as she handed our food over. The gloating that I had always thought I was seeing there had disappeared. Or maybe I just wasn't as jealous. I grinned back at her and let myself fall deeper into Nate's broad chest. Why did I need to hate them when I had my own great thing going on over here? "I'm going to go and talk to Emily really quick," I said. He nodded against my shoulder, his fingers sending lines of flames down my ribs as he released me. I shoved up from his lap and went to where Em was standing by the makeshift table. "Hey," I said quietly.

She glanced up from whatever she was doing with a smile. Then she realized it was me and looked up with a startled light in her eyes. "Hey," she returned meekly. "How are you?" I just kind of shrugged and pointed back at her. "I can't complain; Sam and I are happy." I smiled and looked down at the ring on my finger. I definitely couldn't complain about me and Nate. "You and Nate seem to be doing well." She gave a pointed glance towards my ring.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," I admitted. "Things aren't like they were when we talked about weddings last," I whispered. She nodded somberly. "I... I don't think that things will ever be like they were, Em. There's a lot of things that have changed." I just got another nod. "But I was hoping that things wouldn't be so far gone that you wouldn't want to be a part of my wedding."

"Are you being serious?" She was grinning at me.

"Yeah. Well, I mean, Ryanne is going to be my maid of honor and I think Nate's going to have Seth and Jake stand up for him," I explained.

"Are you asking me to be a bridesmaid?" That was what I had been afraid of. I hadn't wanted her to think that. That's what I as trying to avoid making her think. I shook my head and her smile dropped. "Then what are you asking me?"

"If you'll help me plan the wedding. You know all about this kind of stuff and it's important for me and Nate to have an easy day. Things haven't always been smooth sailing for us, especially in recent months." I thought back to the shooting, to the thought of almost losing him. This day needed to be perfect. I needed it to go off without a hitch. "Please, Emily. I'm asking you because I know that you can do it better than anyone else. I'm asking you because I know anyone who can organize a bonfire for a Pack of wolves can make the perfect wedding for me. It's not because I don't want you to be a bridesmaid. It's because... because I know you're the only person I can trust to get this done for me."

Her smile came back full force. She leapt forward and hugged me with a strength that probably would have bruised me if I had been human. I glanced back at my imprint, who was sitting beside Nate on the log. The two men seemed to be getting along just fine. Maybe everything within my Pack would be great. Sam had finally figured out that being jealous wasn't going to get him anywhere. From the looks of it, the two men were trying to find common ground. There was even a smile and a few deep chuckles shared between them.

I hugged Emily back and then smiled, returning to Nate's side. He uncrossed his arms and welcomed me back into his lap, resting his chin on my shoulder and pressing a kiss into my neck. "The legends are about to begin," I muttered. "You should pay attention." He nodded, but only shifted me so that I was pressed in the cozy pocket by his collarbone. While he watched Jacob's mouth move with rapt attention, I was content to daydream.

In my head, I could see a little boy with Nate's green eyes and my father's dark hair. What could we name a little boy? Harry was such an old name. I didn't even know Nate's father's name. That would be a good thing to know before I married him. Maybe we could name our son after that boy. Both of us knew what it was like to have good parents. For all that he had been through, I knew that he would be a great father. He had a patience about him and a gentility that I was dying to see in action. And while I was dying for a son, I wanted a little girl more than I could say. Just the thought of seeing my big, old Marine holding a little girl swathed in pink tight to his chest had me tingling from the inside out.

Nate looked down at me with confusion etched in his brow. "That's a funny look you got there," he said, his index finger coming to trace my bones. "What are you thinking about?"

"Do I look upset?" I asked. His bottom lip puckered, his upper lip lifting in a little snarl-like motion when he shook his head.

"What were you thinking about?" he asked again.

"You should be paying attention to the legends," I admonished.

"They're over, Leah. Now tell what you were thinking about." I looked around to see all of our friends, most of the girl asleep, getting ready to go. I blushed and looked down at my lap. "Ooh, a blush. Now I'm very curious."

"Don't be rude." He rolled his eyes and tipped my chin up so that I had to look at him. "I was thinking about what you would look like holding a little girl, our little girl." A grin unlike any that I had ever seen stole over his face then, his teeth brilliantly white against his tan skin. With the night sky around us, they looked even brighter. "I know, I'm being a stupid girl," I said before he could tease me about it.

"Well then I guess I'm a stupid girl most days," he said. I flashed my eyes up to his with a guarded hope in my eyes. "I don't think dreaming about our family makes you stupid, Leah. I think it's natural. I dream about our family every day."

There was no way that a big, tough man like Nate actually sat around thinking about little kids. I snorted. "You dream about having kids?" I didn't add the _with me_ that was there. I think it was given by now.

"Oh yeah. See, I think that Harold is one of those names you don't saddle a boy with. But a Lucas Harold, that could be a good, solid, strong name," he said.

"Lucas?"

"My father's name." There was a pink tinge to his cheeks. "But I'm not opposed to a Harold," he added quickly. "I was just thinking that Luke was a little more normal for the kids nowadays. But a boy should have a good name. A name that makes him want to be something great. And really, whether he chose to be like your father or mine, I think we could both agree that he's got great men to look up to."

"Let's not forget about you," I said. That dusting of pink turned a little more red.

"And Seth." Leave it to Nate to attempt to take the attention from himself. "I think that our son would do fine no matter which one of our friends he looked up to." I smiled at him. "I think I'd like a little Susie, though," he said with a contemplative look on his face.

"Susie?"

"Susan Crowe. It has a certain ring to it," he explained.

"Her full name is Susanna," I said.

"Even better. Susanna Crowe." He was right, of course. There was something nice about the name, just like Lucas Harold. "You know, all this talk about babies and names has gotten me wanting to get some practice on the making part of them." I grinned at him and laughed.


	90. Chapter LXXXIX

**Author's Note: Okay, everyone, here you are! I'm just letting you all know that this is the beginning of the end. I predict another five to six chapters and an epilogue. If you are interested in how Nate and Leah's story turns out beyond the end of this one, I would recommend reading Seth's story ****_Falling With Style_****, as it takes place five years after the end of ****_Breaking Dawn_****. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter LXXXIX**

Leah was running patrol during the day time now, especially since school had started for most of the other wolves. They were waiting for the royal vampires to come, which meant that for the moment, our lives were blessedly calm. While Leah was off running around as a little wolf, albeit not so little, I was at the gym working out. My mother had decided to take over the apartment that I vacated after building the house for Leah. She was hanging out with Seth more than I could be healthy. The secrets that the two of them knew about Leah and I probably wasn't healthy. The fact that Leah and I didn't care probably wasn't healthy either.

I continued fighting, but the truth of it was that it was getting old. I was tired of being nothing more than another cock tossed in a ring. I just had to figure out what the next step was for me. I couldn't imagine my life without working out though. So I had begun researching the police academy and the steps that an ex-Marine would have to take to become a cop of some kind. I could easily start working for Charlie Swan. Between my savings, the money that I received from the Corps, and anything that I could earn being a cop, I was fairly certain that we could survive. Besides, the laws were different living on a Reservation. Billy Black and Jacob would both be in charge; they wouldn't let us slip too far without some help. After all, Leah was doing all she could to protect her tribe.

All of these things were tossing in my head while I stood at the grill of our small outdoor kitchen, waiting for Seth and Sue to come along. Ma was in the house, talking about this being the last good barbecue that we wold get for some time. Of course, I was seriously doubting the likelihood that La Push winters would be anything like the below-zero weather that I'd gotten up in Montana. Although it had been quite some time since I'd had snow. Or even a real winter. Any significant change in temperature would be a great change.

A blur of grey fur flashed through the trees. Leah. She would stop off in the forest and grab a light summer dress and bra, pull them over her head, and saunter into the yard like she'd been taking a walk in the cooling air. I looked down at the steaks that were cooking and then at my watch, making sure that it wasn't quite time to start the asparagus yet. Of course, most of those thoughts were banished when warm, muscular arms wrapped around my waist. She pressed her cheek into the hollow between my shoulder blades, rubbing her skin there like she was a puppy searching for affection.

"Smells good," she muttered. I smiled at the food in front of me, closed the lid of the grill, and turned to wrap my arms around her. "How was your day?" Her eyes met mine and searched my face. "When did that happen?" she asked, her fingers reaching up to graze the blooming bruise on my cheekbone.

"Frank got a lucky punch in," I shrugged. "Did you remember to invite them to dinner tonight?"

"Jeanie said that they'd be a little bit late since her bum of a nephew had decided that start fighting for a profession. They have no one to watch the gym for them," she said with a teasing glint in her eyes. I rolled my eyes at her, enjoying the glimmer there. It was strange to think about how much we had changed. I was no longer the brooding, Marine. I was no longer haunted by nightmares and demons that wouldn't leave me be. I was fully human now and lucky enough to find a girl that would love me.

And, in all honesty, Leah had changed too. She wasn't the Rez's bitch any longer. That didn't change her personality, but Leah wasn't as angry as she had once been. Her goal in life was not to ruin Sam's relationship with Emily. She wasn't fixated on making Emily realize what a horrible person that she was. She was Leah Clearwater, soon to be Leah Crowe. She was strong, independent, feisty, and someone who had the worst sense of humor. And I wouldn't change anything about her if my life depended on it.

"You're thinking hard again," she whispered. Her hands slid up my chest to my neck, her thumbs rubbing across my jaw. "What's got all of those gears turning up there?" I laughed and let my eyes slide closed for a moment. There was no reason not to answer her.

I checked around us to make sure that my mother wasn't anywhere close by. "I was thinking about how grateful I am for everything that's happened," I admitted.

"Getting shot? You're grateful for getting shot?" I chuckled and kissed her cheek, feeling her eyelashes tickle the top of my lip.

"If there was some way that I could have _avoided_ being shot, I would have preferred that," I admitted. "But if I hadn't gotten that Dear John, I wouldn't have come to Forks. I wouldn't have met you. You wouldn't have imprinted on me. And I wouldn't be getting ready to marry you." I kissed her then, thinking that the steaks could burn to charcoal crisps and I wouldn't be the least bit upset.

But Leah only had a moment to spare with me. She pulled back, planting her hands on my chest so that she could look up at me. "I've been thinking about the wedding, but I haven't had very long to talk to you about it," she said. I almost groaned, but forced my mouth to stay clamped shut. "Could we talk about it while you're grilling?" I could hear the pleading tone in her voice. It was that damned tone that tugged at my heart and forced me to comply with whatever it was she was asking.

So I nodded and wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her to my side and looking back at the grill. "What's on your mind, Clearwater?" I asked. That simple question was all that was needed for Leah to jump in. She talked about wedding dates, asking for my opinion but never really waiting for me to give it. I heard something about colors and something else about dresses, but I honestly didn't care. When she finally stopped and gave me a break, I jumped in. "Leah, I understand that this is _our_ wedding, but I just want to clue you in on a little secret." She looked up at me like my secret was the answer to life. "I just need to know when and where."

She threw her head back in a laugh that rained down over the both of us. "Just like a man," Aunt Jeanie's voice carried over the silence of the moment. "Tell him what to wear and where to be and he'll be there. He don't give a care about the wedding. Don't waste your time, sweetheart." Leah laughed a little harder.

"At least he's humoring her, Jeanie," Ma called.

"That's a fact," Sue added, the fence swinging shut behind her. Seth hung his head low like a wounded dog and marched to where Uncle Frank was surveying some of my handiwork. "When I started planning the wedding with Harry, he wouldn't even listen to me. He told me that he would go and get whatever clothing that I wanted him to wear and that I just needed to give him a date, a time, and a place. I was responsible for the rest of it."

"You three are being silly," Leah said. "Nate cares about our wedding. Right Marine?" I nibbled on my lip and tried to look away from her, but she quickly stepped between me and the grill. I spun her around so that she was farther away from the heat. Her hand shot up to capture my chin. "You don't care about the wedding?"

"I care about the _wedding_," I said. "I just don't care about how it all comes together." She sucked in a startled breath that had all three women in the room laughing. Frank ducked his head down like he could tell that I had said something I shouldn't have. "Any time you want to know what I think I'll tell you, but -"

"When we end up with a bright pink cake, I'm blaming you," she interrupted. Lifting up on her toes, she pressed a kiss to my cheek. "I'm going to talk with people that actually care about the planning that goes into our wedding." She smacked my lower back a little bit and took herself off to go and visit with our mothers and my aunt. Frank and Seth both came to stand alongside me.

"You're lucky you got yourself an understanding girl," Frank said. "Jeanie would have never let me get away with that."

"I heard that Franklin!"


	91. Chapter XC

**Author's Note: Okay, here you guys go! I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter XC**

"But it's the first _major_ holiday," Leah argued.

"What was Thanksgiving?"

"It doesn't count."

"So we have to host this?"

"Nate, it's our first Christmas together. Please, _please_ let us host the whole thing," she begged. And then she turned those glorious eyes on me, melting milk chocolate staring at me for everything that they were worth.

"Fine," I groaned. "We can host Christmas at our house." She squealed and launched herself from her spot on the couch to my lap. "If I knew that this would be the thank you, I would have told you yes ages ago." She made a move to get off my lap, put I grabbed hold of her hips and held her back in place. "Do you have patrol tonight?" I asked then, still resting her on my lap. She wiggled around and moved her hands to my shoulders.

"I'm off today," she replied and cocked her head to the side. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Clearwater. But we have this huge house that we've never been in and tons of decorating to do." She narrowed her eyes like she was still confused. "We're going to Port Angeles today. Go get dressed."

"Why?"

"Because we don't have any decorations. Nothing," I explained.

"But what about the wedding stuff? I was going to talk to Mom about dress stuff and -" I pulled her close and kissed her. She made a tiny humph of discontentment, unhappy with the fact that I silenced her.

"Shut up and get dressed," I said when I pulled away from her. I smacked her ass and sent her on her way, moving into the kitchen to clean up our breakfast dishes. Leah's phone vibrated behind me. Swiveling around while shaking the water off of my hands, I grabbed hold of her phone. "Hey Sue," I said.

_"Hi sweetheart. What are you two up to today?"_

"Actually, Sue, it's a good thing that you called. I'm taking Leah into the city to shop for Christmas decorations," I explained.

_"You are truly a man after a woman's heart. I don't know anyone else that would be willing to go shopping with a woman for an entire afternoon."_ I laughed into the phone. _"Well, after you two get back, maybe you could stop by the house? I have a few things that I would like to hand over."_

"Is everything okay, Sue?"

_"Yes, yes; there's nothing to worry about. You two go on and have fun."_

Fun probably wasn't how I would have described the day that we spent in the city. I knew that Leah would never see how beautiful she was, but there were many men that did. I felt like I spent the better part of the day growling and snarling at all the guys that thought it was okay to be looking at my girl.

But the gleam in Leah's eyes made up for it. Her eyes lit up every time that she passed something she thought was important. We ended up leaving the city with my Jeep stuffed to the brim with everything short of a tree. "We're in the city, Clearwater. Go and get an outfit to wear for Christmas dinner," I said.

"Oh, I should find you a shirt," she said as she marched off to Macy's. Now, we were stuck in the car for the nice drive home to stop off at Sue's. "She didn't say that anything was wrong, right? It's always been a family tradition to have Christmas at Mom's, but I asked before and -"

"You're worrying about nothing. I asked your mother if anything was wrong and she said there was nothing wrong. She just has some stuff for us," I replied. She said nothing but bit her lip and narrowed her eyes while she thought about everything. I pulled off the road and into the driveway. "Quit it Leah."

I got out of the car and jumped around to the other side of the car to let her out. "What if she's dating someone?"

"Then we'll deal with it, Leah," I said.

"What if they're getting married? What if they've been hiding a relationship from us?"

"Who, Leah? Who would your mother be dating?"

"I don't know; someone." I just chuckled at her and started marching towards the front door. "We're here, Ma," she called as I shoved the door open.

Sue and my own mother were sitting down on the couch over a few open boxes. Some of them were clearly postmarked from Montana. "Hey there you two," Ma said as we walked in. "Come on in and take a load off. We've got some things for you." Leah looked up at me, but I didn't know anything so I just shrugged. "In an ordinary family, I would be dividing these things between you and your brother, but I think that we can agree that our family is anything but normal. So, these are some of my things that I sent for from Montana."

"Leah, these are things that your father and I set aside to give to you and your husband someday," Sue jumped in. "And since it's your first Christmas, we felt that maybe you deserved some of them."

They pushed a box towards the two of us with smiles that I'm pretty sure spelled disaster. Leah reached in first and pulled forth a baby picture of me. It was my first Christmas and my mother, God bless her, had me dressed in a Santa hat and lying in a pool of ornaments. "Is this you?"

"No, no," I said. "It couldn't be; must be Scott."

She flipped over the frame to see my name and the date etched in the back and practically hunched over laughing. "Don't you worry, Nathan. I know that there's something in there you'll like too," Sue said. Without so much more prompting, I reached in and dug around until I found the picture of Leah standing naked in some kind of trough that had frozen over in the open air. Little Clearwater was standing with a pouty frown on her precious little face and her arms crossed over her chest.

And so it went, back and forth. Both of our mothers had found some of the most embarrassing moments of our winters and compiled them all together into one box. But the most precious part of the day came when Sue handed over a wooden box. "Since it will be your first time doing Christmas dinner, and I expect there to be many, many more, Diane and I thought you might like a few recipes."

"There are some of Nate's favorites there, too," Ma chimed in. Leah's eyes grew suspiciously moist, but the stubborn woman didn't let a single one fall. "I'm sure whatever you throw together will be just fine, dear." I liked watching my mother and Leah together. It wasn't hard to see them sitting, fussing over our children one day. But knowing that my mother loved Leah like her own daughter was something that warmed my heart. I wouldn't expect anything else from my girl or my mother. "And if you need any help, you know where to come."

Leah Clearwater, the mistress of organization, needed no help with her dinner. After extensive planning and even more preparation for the meal, Leah's ham went off without a single hitch. My mother and Sue and Seth came to the house. Seth regaled us all with tales of building the house and my obsessive nature. I wanted everything done just right. Although it wasn't the first time that Leah had heard about it, it didn't stop her from laughing and informing everyone that I was that same way about everything.

When dinner was done and it came time for presents, Leah pulled forth everything that she'd purchased under _our_ name. I was surprised she hadn't signed each package with _Mr. and Mrs. Crowe_. I just sat through the presents, anxiously waiting for Leah to get to her own gifts. Finding a gift for the girl who gave you everything was more difficult than you could possibly imagine. What could you give her then? "What is this?" she asked when she came across the box. "I thought... Nate why did you get me anything?"

"The house wasn't big enough," Seth muttered under his breath with that goofy grin on his face.

"Just open the box, Leah," I demanded. It wasn't overly large, but it held the three things that I had in there just fine. And with her strength, Leah wouldn't notice the weight. She pulled the paper away from the cardboard box and practically ripped the box open. The sign for the porch fell into her lap first. It was just a simple wooden rectangle with the words _The Crowe Family_ burned into the center. I'd had Seth put some feminine design around the outer edges, just some scrollwork that made it look far more feminine. She fingered the letters for a moment and then seemed to remember that there were other things for her.

The wooden frame held three pictures, the ones that I thought she would like the most. There was one of her and Seth when they were younger, one of her and me just a few hours before I'd been shot. But the one that had been the hardest to track down was the one of her and her father just before she left for senior prom. It was the closest thing that she would get to a wedding picture with her father. "Nate," she murmured.

"You're not done," I said.

The last thing was a little hand carved box, courtesy of Seth. Who knew the boy could whittle? She pulled the lid back to find the diamond comb sitting in the satin bed. "What is this?" she asked, holding it up to glint in the light. It was offset by some expensive pink stone the lady at the jewelry store said would look beautiful. She was right; pricey, but right. Leah fingered the jewels, silently conveying just how much she loved the little thing. I had told her that I didn't care about the wedding and it was true. But it was important to her. I needed to make sure that she knew it was important to me.

"Something new."


	92. Chapter XCI

**Author's Note: After tonight, there are only four chapters and an epilogue to go. I'm sorry that it's been so long since my last update; I had an unexpected death in my family that I've been dealing with. I'm asking for you guys to bare with me while I work through this. Enjoy!**

**Chapter XCI**

No man, regardless of marital status, wanted to be woken up by a girl in their bed shouting, "Oh shit." It could mean a million things, but the ones that were popping in my head were worst case scenario. My first thought was that my brother and his wife were in our house. My second thought was that James had somehow escaped and was here for Leah. But when I opened my eyes, Leah was sitting up in our bed staring out the bay window that overlooked our backyard. I hadn't done as much work on it as I would have liked, but the snow that had fallen covered it all.

"What's wrong Leah?" I asked. The Marine in me was prepared for a battle, ready to kill whatever it was that had her so terrified.

"The snow is sticking," she explained. "That means that they're going to be here soon." The Volturi. More vampires. Naturally that was what we were afraid of. More vampires. I popped up in bed beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into my chest. "You have to promise me that you won't leave the Rez for any reason. These kind hunt humans; they're not like the Cullens. If you're out of our reach, then they'll kill you. They'll get you and they won't hesitate to kill you. You have to promise me."

"Leah," I sighed.

"No, Nate; I'm serious. Ryanne is terrified of these things. _Ryanne,_ who knows that Jake will protect her from anything and everything is afraid. I can't let someone else happen to you. I've already almost lost you twice. I'm not going to let it happen a third time. I need you to _not_ be the man of the house and just trust me for a few minutes."

"You've got to promise me that you're going to stay safe out there, Leah. I want to know that you're not going to get hurt out there." She hesitated, which had me clenching my jaw and fighting the urge to pin her to the bed and tell her that she had to stay. Just as I opened my mouth to tell her that I couldn't let her go, she nodded.

"I have to go; I need to go and meet up with Jake. Be safe; stay on the Rez; I love you," she rushed. She grabbed my chin and kissed me, but it felt more like a goodbye than a quick peck. I made a move to gather her closer, but she moaned and shoved me away. "I have to go. I'm sorry." I watched her sprint away and collapsed back in the bed, worry taking hold of my heart.

The next few days were much like my single days. I saw very little of Leah and when I did, she was normally asleep. There were signs of her all around the house though. I would wake up and find that coffee was made...and mostly gone. There would be clothes scattered around the floor from where she had walked in and just started to strip in her need to get to bed. This morning, however, I awoke to find my arms wrapped around the little will-o-the-wisps that I hadn't seen in nearly three days.

Her brown eyes were looking up at me, fear and anxiety mixing in her eyes. "They think that it's today," she muttered. "So could you pick where you want to be so that I don't have to worry about you?"

"I suppose I should be over with our moms. Your mother will be freaking out as it is," I sighed. She nodded. "Are you going to be okay, Clearwater?" She just shrugged. Leah Clearwater was never _indifferent_. She always had an opinion, a reason behind her thought. "Are you going to talk to me?"

"I'm scared," she muttered. "These vampires that are coming, they don't have any conscious. They don't feel regret; they don't care about what happens so long as they get what they want. I'm worried about my friends and my family. What if one of them slips through the cracks and comes after you? What if all this witness stuff isn't as good as we thought it was going to be? What if all of this is for nothing and it doesn't go our way?"

"You can't think like that, Leah. I don't know about what you guys do, but I know about war. You can't let them get in your head, Leah. They're no better than terrorists. The real power that those people hold against us isn't the weapons, it's the fear that they can give us. You're smarter than that, Leah. Don't let them get that control over you."

I had so much experience with fear, with terror. One would assume that I would have been fine. But the problem was that Leah was in danger. And not just in a little bit of danger. If this went south, then Leah would be dead. That was one loss that I wouldn't be able to deal with. I might be able to live through losing my mother better than I could live through losing Leah. Even the thought of it hurt my heart.

Like I had promised her, I was sitting at home with our mothers. Sue was sitting ramrod straight, pretending to be knitting something or another. I didn't have a doubt in my mind that she was sitting there worrying about her children. God knows that I was barely able to focus on what my mother was saying. I knew that she was rattling something off about my upcoming wedding, but I just couldn't bring myself to care. There wouldn't be a wedding if Leah wasn't there for it. "Honestly you two," Ma said after an hour of talking to me and an unresponsive Sue. "You'd think that someone had died with the conversation I'm getting out of you two. What's going on?"

Sue looked to me, her eyes pleading with me. She couldn't divulge her tribe's secret. But it was clearly killing her not being able to talk to her new best friend about it. She needed to be able to vent about it. I sighed and met my mother's gaze. "You know that Leah and Seth are part of the tribal Council, right Ma?" She nodded, her brows furrowed together as she tried to figure out what I was talking about. "There's something that's coming today, something dangerous. Sue can't say anything because of tribal laws. And I don't know much about it. But Leah and Seth could have a super easy day and nothing can go wrong. Or... Or everything could go wrong."

"Oh sweetheart!" she exclaimed. In the next instant, Ma had launched herself across the room and wrapped her arms around Sue. My fiancee's mother held my mother and tried to keep herself from sobbing. Looking over Ma's shoulder, she smiled at me. _Thank you_, she mouthed. I just nodded and pushed to my feet.

Seth and I had done a lot of work in the house. But I needed something to keep my hands and mind busy. La Push winters really weren't all that bad; nothing compared to the Montana ones that I had grown up with. So I bundled myself up in a warm jacket and marched outside. The cool air would hopefully clear my head and keep bad thoughts of Leah's death out of my brain. I had told her to keep her head this morning. I just wished that I could have switched spots with her.

I shoveled and salted the driveway. Twice. I shoveled and salted the porch. Twice. When I finally came back in the house, Sue and my mom were sitting on the couch drinking coffee and watching some kind of sappy movie that was making both of them cry. I think it was just Sue's excuse to give into her fears for her children. I scurried off to the kitchen to make myself scarce. There were some dishes in the sink. And Sue had always complained about the pantry not being organized. I washed the dishes, by hand just because it would take longer. I scrubbed down the counters until the grout was practically gleaming. Then, I proceeded to pull everything from the cabinets and organize them. I even went so far as to find Sue's label maker. It was something to do for the hours that I was stuck waiting.

After what seemed like an eternity, the front door banged open. I practically sprinted to the entry with the intention of grabbing Leah in my arms and holding her close. But Seth was the only one standing on the tile. Sue jumped up and grabbed him in her arms, checking him discreetly for any injuries. "Is that blood?" Ma's voice and finger drew my attention to Seth' There was some blood dripping down his shoulder onto his bare chest. "Where's Leah? Is everything okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Just a, uh, fender bender. Nate, can you come with me?" I just nodded, not even bothering to grab any of my stuff. I just followed Seth as slowly as my nerves would allow.


	93. Chapter XCII

**Author's Note: I'm really sorry that it's been so long. I'm trying to get everything dealt with for my family. In case you guys have missed a very central theme in my stories, I greatly value family and loyalty. So, for me, family comes first. That being said, the regular ****_daily_**** schedule will return on Saturday, with a new timetable that will (hopefully) work better. Also, my pen name will be changing on either Saturday or Sunday. Just a head's up! Enjoy the chapter!**

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**Chapter XCII:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

The snow was piled a few inches high. Winter was full upon us, now. The Volturi were going to be here any day. We had stopped hanging out with our imprints. I would run by my mom's house every once in a while and make sure that Nate was okay, but other than that, I hadn't seen him since the morning that I had woken up and realized the snow had stuck. I hadn't phased out in days, but I still sat down underneath the windows and listened to his heartbeat and his lungs fill with air. He was blessedly healthy. And he was mine. Once this was all over and done with, we would get married and I would live my happily ever after.

_Leave Collin and Brady with the imprints and let's go,_ Jake's voice rang out in my head. I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay here, with Nate and my family. But while I had dozed off underneath a tree, he had already awoken and was off helping our mothers.

_Penn knows everyone, but I don't think she'll do well in this kind of situation,_ Embry called in._ Seth, you think you can stay with her?_

_My baby brother is not staying with your imprint. It leaves all of them vulnerable if we're down one wolf,_ I argued. I understood the desire to have someone personally babysit your imprint, but it wasn't a practical option for the moment.

_Take her to my house. Emily and Kim are already there,_ Jake called. Apparently it had been decided that someone needed to be with Billy and Kim, with her kindheartedness, had volunteered for the job. I couldn't really be surprised; I had never been kind to the girl and she still showed me sweetness. Embry nodded in response to what Jake had said and wheeled around to get his imprint. Quil was running towards the Black house with Claire in his arms. Jake gave a few more commands, but it was barely more than ten minutes before we were all filed in and standing in formation for the beginning of the battle.

Nessie took her place on Seth's back. Ryanne positioned herself right alongside Jake. Despite the fact that she was human, she had an edge to her that was almost wolf-like. Jake looked down at his girl. I half expected him to lick her cheek or something, but instead he looked at us. _If things go south, Seth, take Nessie out of here._ Seth nodded, accepting responsibility for a life other than his own. I didn't doubt that he would do the same if Nate hadn't come around, but I decided that my imprint's ability to help my brother and teach him had a greater effect on him than he realized. _Leah, you take Annie and get out of here. Everyone else, you don't fight. You get home to your girls. Understood?_

There was a unanimous outcry among us. We couldn't leave our Alpha to die. We couldn't do that. _Jake, I'm not leaving you out here by yourself,_ Embry snarled.

_I'm with him,_ Quil chimed in.

_Don't be stupid, Jake_, Jared warned.

_Enough!_ Jake screamed. _If things don't go right, you all get out of here and back to our friends and families._ I felt the familiar clenching of my heart, the cutting off of my air supply. It was an Alpha Order. I could fight all I wanted, but I would eventually have to give in. Jake never gave Orders. I knew that I should just listen to him. He didn't do this kind of stuff for nothing. But I couldn't leave him behind. It was the code Nate lived by. You don't leave your brothers behind. Unfortunately, I was seeing black spots in my vision. I would either be forced to give in or pass out. Once my body was unconscious, I would him in without knowing it. So I gave in. There was no sense in putting us one wolf down. _I'm sorry, guys, but it had to be done._ I hated that he was right. He shouldn't be right. He should have let us stick by him. But if I had been Alpha, I would have done the same. It was like Nate had said: if I would have made the same decision, I couldn't be upset with him. _Now let's go meet up with al the Cullens._

By the time that everyone was calmed down and prepared for the confrontation, I was a bundle of nerves. I just wanted this over. I wanted to get back to Nate, to be wrapped in his arms. Of course, those desires were squelched when a wave of black appeared. My nose was on fire, the burning, sickly sweet scent of vampire forcing every hair on my body to stand on end. Their pale faces were shadowed by their thick, dark hoods. Bitch Swan looked at her monster and then at her sister. "We have to show them Renesmee." Seeking comfort, Ryanne flinched away from her sister and attempted to burrow herself into Jake's fur. He curled his body around her and held her close, growling as Bella spoke again. "They're here because she's a danger. If we show them that she's not, they'll leave."

It was then decided that Ryanne would have to go up with them. It was the only way to show that she harbored no ill-will to the vampires. So, Ryanne walked in front of Jake, keeping as close to him as possible while she took her steps. "Bella, Bella," a dark haired man spoke. There wasn't much volume to his voice. But between my hearing and the mind link with Jake, I could see, hear, and smell everything a million times over. "You are even more beautiful in immortality than you were in humanity." I was pretty sure that I wasn't the only one who wanted to gag. "And this is...?" He trailed off, gesturing towards Renesmee.

Nessie was explained, as were the witnesses that had gathered there. With a jerk of his head, the leader of the leeches brought another blonde vampire forward. "Is this the child that you saw?" She sputtered and tried to explain that this child _looked_ like the one that she had seen, but it couldn't be. With another little nod, one of the guards in a black cloak stepped up and snapped her neck, crystal shards dropping around him. Only then did he turn his attention to Ryanne. "I see that you are quite well, Miss Ryanne." All of us snarled along with Jake. We were just waiting for him to make an excuse, to do something that would give us a reason to end this madness.

"I am, thank you," Ryanne answered stiffly. "It was not my intention to deceive you after our previous encounter," she added. "Please excuse me."

"I would never assume that your deception was your main course of action," the dark haired man said. His tone was light and carefree, but it didn't sound like anyone had much of a choice. "Clearly there had been much about you that has changed. You are the mate of a child of the moon?"

"Impossible," a white-blond man exclaimed. "The children of the moon are but extinct." He seemed to take great personal satisfaction in that. What had he done to them?

"They are not children of the moon," Cullen began. It took a few moments for the vampires to understand what was being said, but it was determined that we wolves were not a threat. Renesmee, however, was a different story. _If they can't accept a half-breed, they'll never accept Ryanne. Leah!_ Jake shouted in my head. I sank down so that he would be able to push Rye up onto my back with ease. Jake closed his mouth down on Ryanne's arm gently and started pulling her towards me.

He lifted her with his head so that she was forced to straddle my back. _Get her out of here. _I met his eyes for a brief second, wishing there was another way to make this work. _Please, Leah. I'd do the same if it was Nate._ I rose, not giving Ryanne a chance to get off. I slowly started backing away, trying to keep myself inconspicuous. "Leah, put me down." I couldn't. "Leah, please!" She kicked at my ribs, but it didn't hurt. "Please!" I just kept going. I would do what my Alpha asked. _Get ready to run, guys._ No one was comfortable with it, but we all knew what would have to be done. We had imprints and a tribe to protect.

I refused to turn my back on the vampires, lest something happen while I could still change the outcome. "Leah, we can't leave them!" But we could. We would have to. I was going to have to trust a group of vampires to watch out for my brother. Jake had trusted me with his imprint. But God knows I didn't want to go.

"Stop!" I slid to a stop, startled by the voice. "I have another witness," the pixie Cullen proclaimed. She walked in, her mate right by her side. Behind them trailed a man in barely any clothing with a tooth necklace hanging on his chest. "This is Nahuel. He's a hybrid, like Renesmee." I could hear his heart beating in his chest, faster than a human's. The Volturi leaders asked their questions about aging, diet, birth, what had happened to his mother. "You see? The child is no danger," she concluded. "Let them go."

The three men shared a look. "No," Cullen hissed. "It should have worked." _They're going to attack,_ Jake muttered. He nodded to me and then to Seth. Jake boosted Nessie onto Seth's back. Another nod told us to go, but before we could, the little pixie spoke again.

"You don't want to do that," she said. "If you make that decision, you won't like the outcome." They all stared at her. "See for yourself."

The tensity in the air was practically tangible. _Do you want me to go?_ I asked Jake. He shook his head through the mind link, though he never looked away. Alice Cullen slid her hand into the dark-haired leader. _Bella's shield is up. If you start to feel any pain, run as far as you can._ Bella had a shield? Whatever; I didn't care. So long as we all survived this. "Enough!" Even the mind link between us wolves went silent. "There is no threat here. Although we would be loathed without offering our friends a chance to come and join our family." I ignored that, instead wondering what Alice had been able to show that had convinced him to let us go free.

And just like that, after a few words of rejection, the Volturi were gone. Jake phased out and found his imprint, nodding over his shoulder to us. We could go; we could find our imprints and make sure that they were all safe. I didn't need to be told twice.

I felt like I hadn't seen Nate in ages. I just wanted to be wrapped up in him, to spend all day in bed with him being cuddled into that broad chest. _Leech!_ Quil called.

_Duh, dude. There's hoards of leeches,_ Seth scoffed.

_No, he's running towards La Push._

A black cloaked figure was, indeed, dashed towards our border lines. His eyes were dark, ruby red; bloodlust evident in his eyes. He would get there and he would hurt someone. He would hurt my family. That was all it took for me to lunge. I couldn't let him get to my imprint, my friends, my family. But the leech was faster than I thought. He turned and wrapped his arms around my neck. He was stronger than some of the other vampires that I had encountered before. I refused to go down, though.

I twisted my head at a strange angle that kind of hurt and wrapped my mouth around his neck. I bit down until I could feel the stoney flesh splintering underneath my teeth. The parasite released my neck and gripped my legs, tried punching my shoulders, tried everything to get me to let go. I heard the now-familiar sound of bones snapping, barely recognizing my pain. The leech screamed, but the sound cut off when his head finally disconnected from his neck. _Leah!_ Seth screamed at me.

I waited only until Quil was dragging the body off to a dry, leaf-free area to collapse on the ground. _Go get Nate, okay? I'll be healed by the time that you get back._ Seth hesitated. I could feel the blood leaking out of my leg. I hadn't been expecting him to snap my back leg. My immediate fear was that he might have hit the artery. Could I survive that? _It's okay; Quil will stay with me Just go and get Nate. Make sure he knows that I'm okay._

I was going to be okay... Hopefully. If Jake could survive having the right half of his body crushed, I could get through this.


	94. Chapter XCIII

**Author's Note: Okay, we should be back to the normal daily update. I was living with my cousin's husband (she recently passed) and helping him take care of his kids, but I just moved back home. We'll see what happens. Thank you all for baring with me. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XCIII**

"What happened?" I demanded as soon as we were deep in the forest. I had only waited until I was sure my mother wouldn't hear.

"There was a rogue," Seth explained. "We don't know why he went that way."

"Seth!" I knew the voice as one of the guys, I just didn't know who it was. "Seth they came and got him."

"The Cullens?" Seth and I asked simultaneously.

"No." It was a whimper, proof that he was hurt as well. Quil? Jared? No; Quil, definitely Quil.

"Leah tried to stop the vamp and ended up hurt. She asked for you," Seth explained. "Turn right." The younger man shouldered me to the area that he wanted me. Leah was still a wolf, her grey hair matted with blood on her legs. "She has to phase back, Nate. She won't heal as well if she's still a wolf."

"I'll take care of it," I promised. It was then I noticed Quil lying on the ground, his arm bit at an odd angle as he attempted to push himself up. "Seth, why don't you get Quil out of here.? Get him somewhere where he can heal up, okay?" Seth looked between his friend and his sister. "I'll get Leah and then text you, okay?" With a heavy sigh and some look he probably got from Leah, he stooped down low to help the other wolf up. When I couldn't hear the tree branches creaking as they lumbered through the woods, I knew that it was time to get her to phase. "Hey Clearwater." She whimpered and thrust herself closer to me with her front legs. "I know that you're hurting, but you've got to phase out, okay?" She whined, the high pitched sound shuddering through me. "I know; I know." I scratched behind her ears and gently petted her head. "I can't take you home, Leah; not until you're human again."

With a roar that quickly became a sob, Leah's form shuddered and she was lying before me. There was blood dripping from a nasty wound in her leg. "Nate." Her voice was hoarse and pained.

"I know, Leah. It's going to hurt, but I'm going to pick you up, okay?" I didn't wait for her jerky nod or any other motion. I ignored her pained sounds and held her tight to my chest. "Let's get you home." Her right around found its way to my neck and held me close like she needed me to stay alive. "You've got to stay with me, Clearwater. Remember how you yelled at me? I won't be yelling at you, but you best be sure that you aren't leaving me."

The house came into view, a welcome sight when I could feel Leah's blood on the hand that I hand under her thigh. I decided to take solace in the fact that the flow was slowing as we marched. As long as I could keep the bleeding down and make sure that her bone was in the right place, she would be okay. She was going to make it through this.

I kicked the front door aside and marched in, heading for the couch when Leah's hand slipped from my neck to my chest, fisting in the fabric with more strength than I thought she would be able to give. "If you - - put me down on," she panted and took a moment to swallow and wince, "on anything that - - is new - - I will kill you." I smiled down at her. If she was willing to threaten me, then she was going to be okay. I continued towards the couch. It wasn't knew; we'd bought it back when I first started building the house. "Not - - my couch, you - - dunce."

"Where would you like me to put you, picky?" I asked her then. Before she could answer, I headed to the closet. "How about the cot? It's in the closet, okay?" She nodded weakly and let her head drop to my shoulder. I shuffled the weight of her until I could manage to get the door open and hook my foot around the legs of the fold up bed. Grateful for the wheels, I started dragging myself and the bed out of the closet. I slammed a foot down over the fold until the two halves fell apart to lie down flat. "Here we go, Clearwater."

She was clearly in too much pain to swallow her cry when she came in contact with the cool sheets. "Let's have a look at that leg, huh?" I suggested, trying to keep myself calm. That was the only way that I could get through this. As terrible as it was going to sound, I knew that I was going to have to detach and pretend that this wasn't her. She was trembling all over, her face still pale. That would be from the blood loss, I supposed.

Ignoring that fast that my favorite pieces of Leah's body were exposed and waiting, I turned away from her and sprinted for a few cloths and some water. Leah was moaning and whimpering; I'm sure it didn't feel at all pleasant, but I had to get her wounds clean. I was shaking, despite the things I was telling myself. The femur was broken clean through; I could tell that much. All I had to do was keep her still and let the wolf blood in her do its thing. All ready the shallower pieces of the cuts were pink and healing. A quick glance at Leah's face was more proof the blood was building in her again. "I'm going to go call your brother." I laid the flat sheet that I had tossed off the bed over her body and stood, digging into my pocket.

Stepping away where she wouldn't hear me, I dialed Seth's number. "Is she okay?" he begged once he picked up.

"She's going to be fine." I think. "Did Quil say what happened?"  
"Only that the leech was part of the Volturi. He came after something, we don't know why. Some other members showed up after she killed him. They were planning one or two to come after us, to kill us. Supposedly the plan was changed, but the rogue didn't care," he explained. "Leah's lucky she made it through that. The Volturi feed off of human blood; they're stronger than the Cullens. We've dealt with nomads and stuff like that before, but these ones feed more regularly than most. They're stronger."

"Quil doing okay?"

"Yeah; he'll be fine," he replied. "Don't worry about him. Give me a call when Leah is feeling better." I promised him that I would and quickly hung up. The bleeding had completely stopped now, although there were still parts of her leg that were opened. Sheets could be washed. Leah's comfort was far more important.

I lifted her into my arms and cautiously bore her to my bed. "Nate," she moaned when I set her down. "Please don't let me go. Hold me," she begged. I stripped down to my boxers and slid in alongside her. Cautiously, I pillowed y head on the cushion she was lying on, resting my chin just above her shoulder. I delicately threw my arm over her waist. "Don't go."

"I'm not going anywhere, Clearwater. Okay?"

"Okay." She sighed and turned her head towards me. I hummed little songs that floated into my head and held her close.

Her breathing turned deeper, quiet snores lilting up to the air. I slid the arm that was around her waist down to her leg, feeling the angry, puckered pink skin. It was healing. She was going to survive this. I traced the Tribal marking that had taken residence on her shoulder blade instead of the bicep like everyone else's. Winter would come to an end soon enough. Leah would heal and throw herself into our wedding more than she ever had before. And in a few short months, I would find myself hitched to the girl of my dreams.

As if I had been asking for them, I was assailed with more images of the family that Leah and I would build together. It would be us and as many children as we were blessed with having. I would need a petter job, though. The last thing that a child needed to see was a father who was getting beaten up to make a living. No; I was capable of doing so much more for me, for Leah, for our children. I leaned over to kiss Leah on her forehead and span my hand over her bare stomach. If I had any say in it, Leah would be pregnant with our baby weeks after we got married. We had waited long enough to start a family. We had suffered and dealt with pain long enough. Now we had each other.

"What are you doing?" Her voice startled me. God only knows how long I'd been sitting there resting my hand over her stomach and breathing in the sweet scent that was completely Leah.

"How are you feeling?" I returned.

"Fine; now what are you doing?" she repeated.

I smiled and took a slow kiss from her mouth. "I'm thanking God that you're still alive," I muttered against her lips. "And dreaming."

"About what?" she was breathless but I could see that it wasn't from exertion. Her heart was beating erratically in her chest. I bit my lip and stared at her. "Seriously, Nate. What were you thinking about?"

"Are you feeling better?" I asked again before I would show her what I had been thinking of.

"Yes, Nate; I feel fine, now why won't you tell me what you were thinking about?" All I did was kiss her again, feeling her now-healed leg snake itself around my thigh. I rested myself on my forearms to keep my wait off of her. I smoothed the hair away from her face and broke away from her lips. Making my way across her cheekbones, over her nose, down her jawline, along the tanned column of her neck, I listened to Leah's heart pound underneath my own chest. "Seriously, Marine, what were you thinking about?"

I just chuckled in response.


	95. Chapter XCIV

**Author's Note: Okay, here's the next chapter. I'm sad to say that tomorrow is the last chapter. Sunday will be the epilogue and then we'll have to call this story done. It's almost depressing to see it go after all of this time. Enjoy tonight's chapter!**

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**Chapter XCIV**

The Volturi were gone. Our lives were blessedly normal and _boring_. I fought whenever there was a fight in the area. Of course, there were always fights at the ready. Leah had a million things that she wanted my opinion on, but I didn't have one. I just wanted us to be married. I wanted us to _be_ married. What did I care about the ceremony and the reception and the music? At least, that was my thought until Leah started talking to me about _where_ she wanted to do the reception. "In the gym? You want to celebrate the fact that we're married _in_ the gym?" I asked her, trying to make sure that I understood what she was saying.

"Of course; it makes total sense."

"Not really, Leah. You want to hold a wedding reception inside of a sweaty training room. That doesn't make very much sense to me."

"That's where we really got to know each other. If it hadn't been for that ring," she snarled, jabbing her finger towards the octagon, "I don't know how long it would have taken us to get to this." I looked over at the ring, noticing that there was a nice rip in the mat there. "Come on, Nate. You don't want to get married in the church. You don't want to have the reception at the gym. Where would you do our ceremony? Where would you do our reception?"

"The ceremony would be at the cliff. It's only us and the Pack and my mother. It's not like we wouldn't fit. It'd be a good place to honor your father, to give him the chance to be a part of his daughter's wedding," I replied. Her eyes misted over, tears bubbling up to the surface. "And let's face it, Leah, a reception at the gym will only result in the guys wrestling." She laughed at me. "We could do the reception at our house or your mom's or something. Just the Pack and our families, hanging out and eating food. All the normal stuff."

"Why don't you put your input in earlier?" she whispered. I chuckled until the first tear rolled down her cheek. "I've been trying to figure out where to do things so that this wedding represented us."

"Clearwater, this wedding is all about us," I replied, tucking her into my chest. "You picked the day that I got rescued to do the wedding. I'm sure that whatever you have picked out for our ceremony and reception are going to be absolutely perfect."

"Fuck that, we're getting married on the cliff and we're doing the reception at Mom's." I smiled down at her and kissed her cheek again. "But I was hoping that we could do the rehearsal dinner at our house."

"How far away is this?" I asked her then. She laughed and patted my chest, turning her face into my neck and kissing my artery. "Oh, Clearwater, I'm not joking. How long do I have to wait to be married to you?"

She looked over my head at the clocked. "Seven days, six hours, and a few minutes," she replied. "Getting impatient?"

"I want my claim to you, Leah Clearwater. I'm ready for that last name to change and for you to be mine," I answered. Grabbing her mouth, I proved to her just how impatient I was getting for this wedding.

"I have to go to a dress fitting," she announced breathlessly. She kissed me again. I was kind of amazed that after a year of knowing each other, after all the things that we had been through, I was not tired of her touch. I loved having her in my arms, feeling her mouth hot against mine. She was warm and soft and hard all at the same time. "The wedding will be here before you know it," she promised before marching out the door.

The next six days, however, proved torturous. Per Sue's request, Leah had moved back home for the week before the wedding. Supposedly it was to say goodbye to her daughter before she was a part of another family. I think that Sue and my own mother just liked watching me suffer. The only time that I spent with Leah was an hour or two with dinner every evening. I was slowly starting to lose my mind, having to leave her at her mother's every night.

The morning before the wedding, however, Leah appeared at the house before I was even awake. My first thought was that it had been a dream. Leah's warm, lithe body pressed itself against my chest and promised joyful satisfaction. But I hadn't felt her so close in what felt like years. It was hard to imagine that this was actually happening, that I was holding her close. At least, it was until she kissed me. Once her lips touched down on mine, I was blissfully aware that it was a reality. "Good morning," she said brightly when she pulled away.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her in surprise.

"I could leave if you'd like," she answered. I laughed and gripped her hips a little tighter, keeping her pulled down on me. "We have a rehearsal dinner tonight. There's too much to set up. I figured it would be best if I made sure that they were done."

"You mean if they were done the way _you_ would like them done." She grinned at me and then bit her lip. "What is there left to be done, Leah?" I asked her. I had kept the house clean, my forced meticulousness ensuring that there was little cleaning to be done. I could think of a million things that we could do instead of setting up the house. To prove my point, I slid my hands up her chest until I came in contact with the underwire of her bra. "Because we could entertain each other in the meantime."

"Nate," she moaned, but it wasn't the sound that I wanted. It was her way of silently backing away from me. Damn her. I hated when her self restraint was actually in tack. It made it so much more difficult to have my way with her. "We have cooking to do. We need to grab the fine china that your mother gave us and get those pictures of my dad down from the attic and -"

Still sitting on my lap, she began to rattle off a list of things that needed to be done. So much for a wonderful morning. "Let's get going," I whispered saddened.

"So I was thinking that once we got the foods that needed to be started going," she began, leaning forward so that her chest was flush against mine, "we could have a little fun. It would be the last time before the wedding." I thought I was going to lose my control in that instant. I loved when Leah talked about our future in even the smallest way. The wedding was just around the corner. Tomorrow would mark the end of our single lives and the beginning of our family.

"Sounds like a plan to me," I muttered, drawing my hands over her shoulders and down her back until I came down to her thighs.

Leah made good on her promise after she had started her prime rib. She had prepped whatever else it was that she needed to do, leaving me to shower and get ready. By the time we were finished, officially finished, Leah was running around like a chicken with her head cut off to finish her food and get ready. Her white dress was strapless and lacy, so utterly feminine I was surprised to see her wearing it. It tucked in at her waist and flared out over her hips, ending just above her knees. And, in true Leah style, she paired the getup with red leather heels that made her just an inch shorter than me. However, my favorite part of the outfit were the dog tags that hung down over the dress in the center of her chest. Dog tags, a ring, a wedding in just a few short hours... She was undoubtedly mine.

I wore a pair of dark denim jeans and a white button down shirt, running my hands over my freshly cut hair. Leah's style had been trimmed and tucked just how she liked it. Her make up was mostly sheer and sparkling, nothing compared to the twinkle in her eyes as she walked through the house finishing up all the things that she had left to do. I don't think that she realized how strong she was as she pulled two twenty-pound prime rib roasts out of the oven. "Nate, can you answer the door," she asked as she made sure the blue and yellow candles on the table were lit. I nodded and turned, but Leah was rushing towards me. "Hold up!" She reached for my collar, pulling and tugging until it was lying however she wanted to. I tipped her chin up and kissed her sweetly. "Okay, go on."

Thank God this was the last day of this torture.


	96. Chapter XCV

**Author's Note: Okay, this is it. This is the final chapter for this story. Tomorrow, we will see the epilogue. For those who are interested in what becomes of this couple, I would recommend reading ****_Falling with Style_****, my Seth imprint story. While it focuses on Seth and his imprint, it takes place five years after ****_Breaking_****_Dawn_**** and serves as a good extended epilogue. In the coming weeks (after all my stories are finished) I will be posting a story called****_ The Pack._**** The seven-chapter story will be a glimpse into the later futures of each of my stories for those who are interested. When the time comes, I will post an author's note with the link. Enjoy and thank you for reading!**

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**Chapter XCV:****_ Leah's Point of View_**

I knew that at the end of this path, Nate was waiting for me. At the beginning, I liked the idea of having bridesmaids and groomsmen and everything that was supposed to come with that. After talking to Nate, though, I had decided against it. This wedding was about _us_. It was about all the things that we had gone through, all the things that we had lying ahead of us. I had thought that I wanted a big wedding with the big reception and the cake and the gowns. I realized that I just wanted to be married. The big wedding had all been to impress Nate, to make sure that he wanted to be with me. Silly, really, because I knew he did.

The only part of the wedding that I wanted to keep traditional was having my mother walk me down the aisle. In the minutes before the wedding, Emily fussing over my hair, Ryanne making sure my makeup was perfection, my mother dropped a thick envelope into my lap. "There's only a half hour or so left," Ma said, her eyes beginning to fill with tears. "Then my little girl won't be mine anymore."

Emily and Rye wisely walked away, probably taking their places on the blankets that were out there. "What is this, Ma?" I asked. My name was scrawled across the front of the yellowing paper. She smiled at me, albeit watery.

"I have to go and see your brother. Sit there and read. Don't cry now," she added, marching away. "Ryanne did your makeup all nice" I nodded and slid my fingers underneath the seal of the envelope. A picture fell out of it; a waterfall of glossy paper beginning suddenly. I stooped low and picked them up. The first was my father holding me when I was a baby, swathed in pink and held tight to his chest. The next that caught my was the same picture that Nate had found and frame for me. Beneath that one, was a picture of my father and I when I was five. I was sitting on his shoulders in my favorite pink swimsuit, his hair on my legs like a blanket.

Each year of my life, that he had been present for, was accounted for. The last two pictures, however, that happened to fall at the bottom of the pile nearly too all my mascara off. The first was an image of my daddy and I sitting at the cliff. His arm was wrapped about my waist, my hair, still long at the time, was mussed and lying against his shoulder. It was the last time that he took me out to the cliff. It was right before Sam broke up with me. The memory of him telling me not to go all in until I had the perfect hand.

The picture underneath that, I had never seen before. I remembered the moment, or at least, the moment leading up to it. Sam had just left me. I had only just come home. My mother had tried to comfort me, to tell me that everything was going to be okay. And yet, it didn't stop the tears from coming. Seth had come in to tell me jokes, to try and make me feel better. Everything just hurt. Then my dad came in. He didn't say anything, didn't tell me that my tears were being wasted on a stupid man. I learned later that was what he told my mother and my brother. When I'd woken up the next morning, he hadn't moved. He just sat there with me, the entire night. The only thing that he'd said when I woke up was, "Boys are stupid; men figure their shit out."

Letting one tear trickle down my cheek, I put the pictures down and grabbed for the letter. Familiar chicken scratch met my eyes. Of course my father would have been prepared. I had read his apology letter, of course. I had even appreciated it. But knowing that he thought that his death could happen was actually painful for me.

_My Darling Daughter,_

_I know, I've never called you that a day in your life. But there was something about writing it down on paper that made it seem right._ I laughed. Leave it to my father to keep his sense of humor even after his death. _If you're ready this, it's because I'm not there and I asked your mother to give this to you. Inside are pictures, my favorite from each year since your birth. I love you Leah. I sorely wish that I could be here for you today._

_I am praying to God that you aren't marry Sam Uley, Leah. I know that's a terrible thing for a father to say, but it is my honest hope. He won't make you a good husband, sweetheart. He is, in many ways, still a boy. You need better, bigger, stronger. You need a man who is going to love you Leah with all of his heart. You'll know the man when you find him. I asked your brother to give him a letter and I doubt that he would give it away. _

_I wish that I could have been at your wedding, Leah. But I know that we are going to meet again someday. There are just a few things that I wanted to tell you and since I'm not here to give you this lecture, you best sit your ass down and settle in for the read._ The tears were trickling at a steadier rate now as my own desires were reflected in his words, in that scrawl that I missed seeing on the refrigerator.

_Marriage is not about the things that you can get from your spouse, Leah. I thought that it was. That was the marriage that I saw when I looked at your grandparents life. Your mother, God knows that I love her, had little to look at for marriage. It took me a few years to figure out what I'm telling you right now. I took as much as I could from your mother. I told her that I loved her, but I expected her to be there for _**_me_**_, her desires be damned. What changed me, Leah, was you._

_Your mother got pregnant with you. At first, she was so ill that I didn't know how to react. Then I started taking care of her, trying to make it easier for her. And then it got to the time that you were supposed to be born. Apparently, first time births are more difficult than others. Your mother was bleeding so profusely. I didn't know what to do and it dawned on me that I loved your mother more than I could express. The thought of losing her, of her not being there, tore me apart. It wasn't because I thought that I wouldn't have the woman there to care for me. I honestly thought to myself, would I ever see her sleeping next to me again? Would I ever get to brush her hair and braid it again? _

_I know that you enjoy blaming yourself for things that are beyond your control, Leah. I'm sure that you have sat and found reasons why my death is your fault. But here's something that you don't know, Leah: you grew up with the family that you did because of _**_your_**_ birth. You brother and you know the love that you two do _**_because_**_ you were born. Every good thing that's happened in our lives was because of you, Leah._

_So remember that, baby girl, as you walk down this aisle. There is nothing bad that you have caused. Life deals us a couple of hands. Each rough patch is the flop, each heartbreak is the end. We take a bet with each hand, Leah. You just have to know when to go all in. If you're reading this, then you're getting married. If you're reading this, then I'm hoping that you finally got the full house, straight, flush, or whatever it is you were looking for. (Forgive your daddy for his poker analogies, but I don't know how else to say this.) If you're reading this, Leah, then go all in. Leave nothing behind. Don't hide from this man. _

_I love you with all my heart Leah._

_Daddy_

I heard a song once that I felt described everything that I wanted. As I folded the letter up and replaced it and the pictures, I let the lyrics flow through my head._ Some hearts just get all the right breaks. Some hearts have the stars on their side. Some hearts just have it so easy. Some hearts just get lucky some times. _I had always stopped the lyrics. Carrie Underwood ended her bridge with _Even hearts like mine get lucky sometimes._ And I knew that I wasn't lucky. Carrie Underwood was wrong. Some hearts were ripped out, sent through shedders, and mangled.

Some hearts went through all of those things and then came back from it. Some hearts get the right guy when they want them without a problem. Some hearts, but not mine. My heart had to go through hell to understand a man who had been through the same. And I wouldn't change a thing.

As I joined arms with my mother, the clouds that had been hanging overhead parted, a ray of sun smiling down on me and the woman at my sad. "You're father's happy about this," Ma said, looking up at the sun. I marched down the pathway. Nate's eyes lifted to meet mine, his jaw dropping as he took in my tightly silhouetted dress. But more than that was the love in his eyes, the look that promised me everything that my father wrote about. So I took the final step to my forever, joining hands with my man and smiling up at the sun. "Do you, Leah Clearwater, take this man to be your husband?" Billy Black asked me.

I looked up at the sun again, forcing the smiles back. "I'm all in."


	97. Epilogue

**Author's Note: Okay this is the official once and for all end of this story. I'm really sorry that it took so long to get this up. Moving has been a real pain. I hope you all enjoy! I just want to say thank you to the people who have been supporting and reading and reviewing. I hope this is the ending that we can all be happy with. Love & Thanks!**

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**Epilogue**

Leah spat a furious sentence at me, her face red with strain. "You have to breathe, Clearwater," I whispered to her, clasping her hand in my own. Although she was technically a Crowe now, the nickname had stuck with me. She squeezed with enough force to break my hand. I took my own advice and exhaled with the sharp pain. "It's only been fifteen hours," I tried to joke. She snarled, the word 'asshole' mixed in with her animalistic growls. They quickly turned to whimpers of pain, though.

I reached my hand across my body to stroke her bangs out of her face. She panted as her pang subsided. "My bones get snapped and reset everyday. A couple of hours of labor though," she trailed off. I smiled and tried to remain tender and strong. She couldn't afford a weak husband at the moment. "I don't know how much more I can take."

"Then give up."

"What?"

I kissed her softly, pulling back just in time to avoid her bite of frustration as another pain swept through her. "Give up if you must, Leah. But I thought my girl was stronger than that." She gripped the edge of her hospital with one hand and attempted to snap my wrist off with the other. Sue came bustling in as it subsided. She and the doctor checked Leah and announced that she was ready to start pushing. "I know you can do this, Leah Crowe."

Between my teasing and my last sentence, a new fire glowed in her eyes. Sue positioned me closer to Leah's side. I barely listened to the doctor's instructions to my wife, choosing to focus on her instead. I braced my hand at the soft skin just above the backs of her knees. While Sue told her how long she had left, I whispered words of encouragement. I told her I loved her. I told her that she was beautiful. I told her that I wanted pretty little girl who looked just like her.

All my words were interrupted when a baby cry sounded through the air. "A beautiful little girl, Leah," I whispered to her, already thinking of the trouble I would have if the little girl was anything like my wife.

"No, Nate. A big, healthy boy. Come see; you have a cord to cut," Sue said. I looked down at Leah, her breath coming in little pants as she calmed down. She nodded, though, giving me permission to go see our son.

Lucas Harold Crowe was already large, pushing twenty-five inches at birth and weighing in at ten pounds. His hearty wail alerted me and his mother to his presence. Leah, exhausted as she was, stirred at the sound. "I want to see him," she murmured. A quick snip and some fast wrapping and Lucas was lying in my arms. I walked back over to Leah and lowered him to her arms.

"Smile pretty," I said, lifting our camera to her face. Leah's lips came up in a weary smile. She lifted the baby so that Luke was looking at the camera too. "Give me the boy while your mom helps you clean up." Leah jerked her head in a slight nod. Sue stepped forward and began moving Leah and jostling her. When she finally set my wife free, I looked down to see the girl asleep.

"Nice to know she's still human in some ways," Sue whispered, smoothing her daughter's hair. I didn't remind Sue that there were plenty of ways in which Leah was still human. "Let me see this grandson of mine."

As if the infant knew that he was being summoned, he opened his pink lids that revealed eyes as wondrously brown as the woman who had my heart. His mouth opened wide in a satisfied yawn. A tiny little fist waved up in my face. I smoothed my finger over the back of his itty bitty knuckles, surprised when he grabbed hold of it with a force I wouldn't have accredited to the little tyke.

"He likes his Pops." Ma's voice startled me but Lucas made a little cooing noise. "You two did good," she added, glancing over her shoulder at a sleeping Leah. It was difficult for me to relinquish the boy, Sue and my own mother held the boy in a way that made me smile. "Sounds like your boy is getting hungry. Best leave him with his Mama," she announced a little whole later.

Sue stayed around long enough to help Leah sit up. "You are hogging my son," she accused. I smiled and brought our boy to her arms. The natural mother that she is, Leah held the babe to her breast.

"Lucky dude," I managed, appreciating the swell of her boob since she'd gotten pregnant.

"You're envying an infant?" she teased. "How did I do?"

"Have I thanked you yet for my son?" I asked, reaching over to brush my hand over the thick cropping of black. Lucas latched on to my finger again, holding tight while he suckled. "You want to know something interesting?" I asked her, shifting the three of us until she was nestled against my side. She looked up at me. "I was scared that I was going to do something wrong the entire time that you were screaming," I admitted. "And there may or may not have been a little fear about fainting. Some of those screams you gave would have scared the spines off a porcupine."

"You know, every once in a while, you have this weird Montana cowboy in you that comes out. It's kind of strange," she teased, "but I guess I'll just love you anyways." I smiled at her. She winced a little as she wiggled into my side. "You would think that I wouldn't be this tired," she mumbled against my skin. I widened my grin and pressed a kiss to those lips that I so loved.

It didn't take Lucas very long to fill his belly. Leah fell asleep shortly after the baby, her breast still exposed to the air. I lifted my son to my arm and pulled her hospital gown back to its proper position. She grumbled in her sleep, searching blindly for the baby in the land between awake and asleep. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and placed the infant in her arms. I kept my forearm just underneath hers, allowing her to relax in my arms.

My _family_ was asleep, happy and content wrapped up in my arms. Drowsy, I thought that I could doze a little before the pack came to meet the baby when a quiet knock sounded. I groaned and muttered, "Come in." Scott cautiously opened the door, his jaw taut as if he was unsure whether or not he wanted to come all the way in. Instinctively, I clutched my wife and child closer to my chest, the threat of him sending shudders down my spine. "What are you doing here?" I whispered, trying to keep my exhausted partner from waking.

"Ma called me," he replied just as quietly. "We've - uh - we've started talking again." I narrowed my eyes at him and jutted my jaw forward. "Good looking kid you got there."

"What are you doing here?" I repeated.

"She left me." I sobered instantly, the anger rushing out of me. "I thought that she wanted me, you know." I nodded. "But, I guess some better offer came around. Cowboy, rodeo star, the money and all that."

"That's all that Allie ever wanted, Scott," I replied. Leah's mouth puckered in discomfort as I shifted around, wiggling with my brother's gaze searing into me. "I'm not - -" I waited for Leah to find her comfortable place against me again. She opened her eyes a little and peered down at Lucas, as if assuring herself that she still had the boy in her arms. "I don't hate you for what you did. And I'd like for my son to know his uncle, to have someone that he can rely on like I know that I can call Frank."

"There's nothing left out there for me, Nate," he whispered. "I'm so sorry about the things that happened between us. I," he sighed heavily, "I really thought that she loved me. Even when I knew that it was wrong, I really thought that she loved me." I nodded, knowing that feeling. "I should leave you guys to sleep."

He turned to the door. I heard the handle turn and the scrape of door against the linoleum. "Leah is supposed to be out here tomorrow," I whispered loud enough to get his attention. "We're going to have a little welcome home party for him next weekend. I'd like for you to be there." He turned back to stare at me, his eyes suspiciously shiny.

"I'd like that, too, brother." With a curt nod, we affirmed the silent agreement that the two of us were ready to start again. "What's his name, Nate?"

"Lucas Harold Crowe," I said, looking back at my boy. "He needs to have some part of Pops in him."

"Pops would be proud of you," he breathed. "Just so you know." There was nothing else said. He turned towards the door and left, the click of the door echoing in the silence of the room.

"I told you things work out for good people," Leah whispered. And this time I had believed her to be asleep. I looked down to find her brown eyes smiling up at me. "I love you, Nathan Crowe."

"And I love you, Leah."

In the years to come, Scott moved from Montana to Forks, bought a nice little house in town. I went to the academy and began working for the Police Department. Eventually, Scott joined me, continuing on his work from Montana basically. Lucas was joined with his four brothers, Alexander, Gabriel, Nicholas, and Callen. With the addition of their sister, Susanne Diane, Leah and I found our happily ever after.

Of course, ever time I thought we'd found our ending, it turned out to be just another beginning.


End file.
